Brown’s heart pounded as they ran.
The forest was dark, brambles scratching at their hooves and ankles they galloped. Blue took the lead, his wings tight against his body, his form a shadow ahead of Brown. She kept a close eye on Green, who barely maintained her position directly between them, her shorter legs giving her stride the sound of a fast beating heart.
This was their only chance. No pursuit would come now, not in the dark of night, not when Blue’s grandfather had bought them time.
But pursuit would come later, and they needed to get as far away as they could. Until now, the forest had been nothing but a darkness beyond the fence that marked the boundary of her life. Now it was life that surrounded her and soil under her feet, a path toward freedom.
Green was the first to flag, losing speed so that she ran next to Brown rather than ahead of her.
“Keep going,” Brown urged, her voice choked with exhaustion. “We can’t waste this opportunity.” She wondered if Blue heard. If he did, he gave no sign.
Green didn’t respond, but picked up speed once again.
They ran until the sky turned pink, leaping over fallen trees and splashing through muddy puddles that the storm had left. Finally Green faltered once more, tripping and crashing horn over hooves.
“Blue, stop!” Brown yelled.
The pegasus skidded, leaves whirling around his hooves as he turned. His eyes widened when he saw Green, who stumbled to her feet, mud covered flanks heaving. There was no way she could be pushed any more.
“We need to rest,” Brown said between gasps.
“No…I can.” Green took a few weaving steps forward, and Brown moved next to her, allowing the filly to rest her head against Brown’s flank.
Blue narrowed his eyes, and he and Brown exchanged glances. “It’s getting light anyway. We should find shelter,” he spoke softly to Green.
“Can you fly?” Brown asked. “You could find us—”
“No.” Blue shook his head, a twig falling out of his mane. “If I fly, we raise the risk of them seeing us. We’re on foot for as long as we can be. Besides…I’m too tired,” he admitted.
Brown frowned, but nodded. Blue had worked hard to get them here. Now it was her turn. “Follow me then. I’ll find us somewhere safe.”
***
The group slowed to a walk for the next few hours. Every so often Brown looked up to a sky that was mostly hidden by interlacing branches and the tops of green trees. It was so different from the stone aeries.
“I’m hungry,” Green said quietly, breaking the silence. The sun’s rays had begun to lance over the horizon, the coldest part of the morning over.
Brown sighed. She was glad the young unicorn was finally willing to eat, but wished she had eaten more before they left.
No, that was unkind. She had been in shock.
Blue nipped a leaf off of the nearest bush and spat it out immediately. “Bleh! Well, don’t eat that.”
Brown pawed at the ground, looking over the growth. “Don’t worry, Green. We won’t get carrots or anything like that out here, but we earth ponies know how to look for extra treats. The gryphons never fed us enough for all the work they had us do. Look for clover, they’re usually everywhere. Ferns and brushes are also great, and they should grow in a dim place like this.” Rich black soil clung to her hooves. “We could farm a lot out here,” she said with a sigh.
“We can’t stay,” Blue said.
“I know that,” Brown said, tossing her head to dislodge her mane from a thorny bush. “Most things are edible out here, Green, just avoid anything bitter.”
“Okay.” The filly nipped at the growth around them as they walked, avoiding the leaves Blue had sampled.
Brown walked ahead of the group, wishing the sun would go back down. They wouldn’t want for food, but they needed shelter. Breakfast must have ended by now, and Rikaar surely realized they had fled to avoid Green’s execution. It wouldn’t be long before he sent out a hunting party to bring them back.
The trees here were huge, but the canopy wasn’t thick enough to offer shelter. A cave would be best…the gryphon’s aeries were completely made of rock, so there had to be one around here somewhere. She kept her eyes peeled as they walked, sensing the earth under her hooves. It held so much life, with a mix of mineral thrown in. Maybe if she followed where she felt the most minerals…
The sound of an eagle’s screech in the distance sent adrenaline sparking through her body. Heart pumping blood filled with icy fear, she scanned the sky, dimly aware of Blue and Green freezing in place next to her.
She knew that screech. It was no mere gryphon guard.
Rikarr had come for them.
The sun was only partially to its place at the height of the sky, but the shadows had grown shorter as the morning went on. Fear overwhelmed her, her body frozen, as Rikarr shrieked again, the sound distant but unmistakably the shrill cry of an eagle coordinating a hunt. They were out of time.
“We have to find shelter,” Blue said. “Now.”
***
“Keep going, Greenie,” Brown nickered, supporting her when Green fell again. “We have to keep going.” This time, at least, Blue didn’t frown when she called Green Greenie. Using different names would be the least of their worries if they were caught.
Blue was also starting to stumble. They had entered the darkest, most overgrown part of the forest they could find, and going was slow. With two exhausted ponies, it was glacial.
Even Brown began to feel fatigue, but she shoved the sensation away. She wouldn’t stop. She had spent long hours farming for the stupid gryphons from fillyhood, picking up the workload her parents had left her when they died. She wasn’t tired, and she wasn’t going to let the gryphons catch her.
She kicked a branch out of her way, the force sending it against a tree. A very big, very dead tree.
“Stop,” Brown said. She stared at the tree, at the gnarled roots that were protruding from the ground.
It was no cave. But it would have to do.
“What are you…?” Blue tilted his head as Brown approached the tree. She knew what to do, but the angle had to be perfect.
Brown turned and kicked the tree as hard as she could, dead leaves and brittle branches falling to the ground around her. The shock set her teeth rattling, but this was no worse than hauling enormous carts filled with gems, or shoving huge rocks out of the way to clear a path. She kicked again, the tree creaking at the impact.
“Kick higher,” Blue said, obviously having understood what she was doing. “That’ll get it.”
Brown supported herself on her front legs and arched her back, kicking as high and as powerfully as she could. A root snapped from the ground.
“Move!” Blue called, and Brown leaped out of the way as the tree began to fall, the roots ripping from the earth and arcing over her head. The tree landed with a tremendous crash, leaves pluming into the air.
And then silence. The roots jutted from the tree, forming an overhang, and cover from the sky—and from gryphons.
“Come on, Green,” Brown said, pride entering her voice. “I’ve found us a place to sleep.”
Blue stared at the sky, his wings tight against his back. "I don't know. The gryphons will have heard that."
Brown sighed. "It's the only shelter we've found, and Green is exhausted. It was this or be caught in the open. Do you have a better idea?"
Blue swiveled his ears as he stared at the sky. "No. But we have to be careful."
***
“Should have expected that,” Blue remarked. “I didn’t even have the chance to get the blanket I brought.” Green had curled up immediately upon entering the cover of the fallen tree, asleep before her head touched the ground.
“She needs the rest,” Brown said. “More than any of us. I don’t think she got any at all since…” she trailed off, the image of Green’s father and mother in her mind, and she shuddered.
“Don’t worry,” Blue said. He swiveled his ears. "I guess the tree trick worked. We got lucky." He grinned. "We’re free now."
“We’re not safe yet,” Brown said.
“Yeah, but we’re free!” Blue spread his wings, wincing slightly.
Brown nodded in sympathy. “You flew for three shifts in a row, and you made that fog yesterday. You need to rest too. I’ll keep watch.”
“Not yet.” Blue peered at the roots overhead. “I will, but not until we’re safe too. As safe as possible, anyway.”
Brown sighed. “Well then, tell me more about Equestria.”
Blue smiled. “I’ll do something better—I’ll show you.” Dusk swung his bag off his back, opening it and unfurling something over the ground.
Brown stared at it. A white banner, with two ponies. “Horns and wings?! I’ve never seen a pony like that.”
“They’re the princesses of Equestria,” Blue said. “My grandfather said they watch over all ponies in their borders. The white is Celestia, she raises the sun, and the black is Luna, she raises the moon.”
“Celestia and Luna,” Brown repeated. “Now those are some unusual names.”
“Unique snowflakes…” Blue said thoughtfully, eyes distant for just a moment.
“Huh?” Brown asked, tilting her head to one side.
“Oh, nothing. Just something my grandfather said about ponies in Equestria being individuals and not named for the color of their coat.” His eyes narrowed. “You know, I’ve always hated the name ‘Blue’. There were lots of blue pegasi.”
“You think you had it bad? Try being called ‘Brown.’” Brown snorted. “After a day plowing the fields, every earth pony was brown.”
A sad smile formed on Blue’s face. “You know what? Let’s give ourselves new names. We’re done with the gryphons, so let’s ditch the labels they’ve assigned us. What’s my new name?” He stood up, puffing out his chest, his wings spread.
Brown laughed. “Rooster.”
“Hey!”
“What? It fits.”
Blue smirked, folding his wings again. “Very funny.” His eyes grew shadowed for a moment. “He said my coat was dusk-blue. My grandfather… I think I’ll call myself Dusk. It’s a good name. He would approve.”
Brown nodded, the forest quiet for a moment. “I’m sure he would.”
“Of course, that would make his name Poison Joke,” Blue said, chuckling sadly. Then he shook his head as though getting rid of a buzzing fly. “Okay, your turn.”
Brown raised her head, thinking back to her parents, a memory of their soft voices calling her by a different name winding through her mind. She wished she could remember what it was.
She wondered if the gryphons had heard it, and if that’s why they had always worked them harder than anypony else.
“I… I don’t know. You decide. What’s my name?”
“Hmm…” Blue, now Dusk, tilted his head. “Well, you are brown, but your mane is lighter. How about Amber?”
“Like the stone?” Brown thought for a moment. It didn’t sound familiar, but it fit. “Yeah, I like that. Amber.” She swiveled her gaze to Green. She wondered what the little unicorn’s name would be.
She smiled to herself. The new names…it was like they had chased away some of the gryphons, just by renaming themselves. One step further away from their old life.
One more step toward Equestria.
***
The grypon’s shrieks could be heard periodically as the day went on, but the three ponies were not found. Finally satisfied with their shelter, Dusk had lay down to rest while Amber kept watch. It was almost peaceful, until partway through the afternoon when the sound of Rikarr’s shriek grew deafening.
Dusk woke and froze, his wings half spread. The two ponies stood motionless. Amber couldn’t pinpoint Rikarr’s call. He could be anywhere.
An answering shriek assailed Amber’s ears, and she swiveled them. This one was to the left. Rikarr had brought a squadron, all for them. But why couldn’t she locate Rikarr?
If they were caught…a shiver went through her body.
Leaves rustled and suddenly Green shot past Amber before she could react, toward where the sun illuminated the leaves outside of the shelter of the fallen tree. Green's eyes were wide and her hoofbeats frantic.
Dusk leaped, leaves skirling as he knocked her flat and clapped a hoof over her mouth. “Don’t move, don’t even breathe,” Dusk said, his ears swerving. “Rikarr is directly overhead, but he can’t find us here.”
Green’s flanks heaved in quick breaths despite Dusk’s words, her eyes roaming the small shelter. “Sh, it’s alright.” Amber knelt down next to Green, who's body trembled and shook the leaves around them. “We’re safe here."
The other gryphon shrieked again, and when Rikarr answered, he sounded farther away.
“Keep your voices low,” Dusk said. He herded Green toward the back of the shelter, the dark trunk of the tree growing oppressive as they wedged themselves against it. Green’s shivers wouldn’t stop.
“We have to wait until nightfall,” Dusk said. “You can’t go charging outside now.”
“I’m sorry.” Green’s voice was small. “I was scared.”
Amber could understand. Her own heart was galloping a mile a minute, even though their shelter had hid them. They were safe for now.
But they still had a long way to go, and she had a sinking feeling that Rikarr wouldn’t give up anytime soon.
>MFW this updates
i.neoseeker.com/mgv/385085-walnuts/85/70/luna_be_happy_display.jpg
Hooray!
Whoo an update!
Hey all,
I'm going to take a bit of time to edit the first four chapters based on some feedback I received. This means the next chapter may take a bit longer to be released, but it also means that the story will be even better. I'll try to get new chapters out as soon as I can!
Thanks so much for reading!
1247297Saw your link on Richard Nixon's review thread and sped through it, (while I was looking at it and planning on when I should submit my own fic to his thread for review XD). It's got a good premise, it's idea is much more original than most fics I've seen and I like it. Although the initial narration was, only a little dry, I have to say it improved as it progressed. The exposition and character development are quite good (though the color names do make it slightly difficult to track). The plot was established well and the adventure takes a form akin to Barbara Smucker's Underground to Canada (which is a very good read and actually has some parallels to your fic, you should read it).
What can be done better? Well... the story hasn't got enough chapters so I can't see where exactly you're going with this and thus I'll reserve that judgement. One thing I can say though is that your beginning needs work. You need to transition the readers into your world. The first chapter is fine on it's own, but I think another chapter would help with setting the system in which ponies serve under griffins, the conditions and so forth. Essentially more world building. You did a pretty good job of setting the rules in the first few chapters (I like Rikarr, that bastard of a griffon), but as soon as we're somewhat getting accustomed to the idea that ponies are serving under griffins, you eject the three protagonists from the setting (add the fact Blue's parents somehow have almost no say in this and its slightly weird). I admit, I may not be the best person to tell you to do more world-building because the EQD pre-reader who read my work mentioned my world building was a bit overdrawn , though that wasn't why he or she rejected it. Still, I hope this helps a bit. If you do want to pay it forward for the fav and comment, just read my published (or try to because it's 21 k now) and give me some feedback I eagerly await for more.
Yours sincerely,
vren55
P.S. You can tell that the person who disliked is probably a supercritic or a troll because I seriously find no reason to dislike this fic. Also, update times seem to play a crucial role in getting your story more popular. Try to figure out the break times of the big cities (new York, etc) and post your story. I think 8-11 pm CST 5 is a good time, but I've only tried that slot once so IDK.
1306966
Thanks a bunch for the review! I am going to continue editing it and writing more. I will also review your fic, although probably not until next week. I'm currently beta-reading someone else's novel, and I have about a thousand other writing and non-writing projects going on too. But expect it sometime next week!
Thanks again!
1313140... It's been 2 weeks. UPDATE!!! WHERE IS IT???
1411080
I will update soon, I promise! Give me a month or so? I got hit with a plot bunny that turned into the other story I have here, and I have other paid writing that comes first, and grad school...but I will update this (and review your story), Pinkie Promise!
1418344 No problemo... Wait... you get paid to write???? What do you do?
1420701
I write books which are published through an E-publisher. Very niche genre though. I can almost guarantee you wouldn't be interested.
1425328 at least tell me the genre type.
1425609
Super secret genre
1425639 Fantasy is my genre... but not the other part sry
1425654
No problem, I understand. I also write YA and more conventional fantasy and s/f, but that isn't published yet. Working on it though!
2710096 Thanks for catching that, it's fixed now.
And thanks to everyone for all the comments!