Princess Trixie of Transylmaneia

by AlexTFish

Chapter 4

Twilight Sparkle followed Spike into the interrogation room, closed the door, turned to the other pony there, and said grimly, “Trixie!”

“What is it?”

“I know about Ethereal Requiem,” Twilight declared.

“...Oh.”

“Is that all you have to say?!”

Trixie tossed her mane and said nonchalantly, “What else is there to say? What do you know about her?”

“For one thing, we know that she was meant to be next in line to the throne of Transylmaneia. A fact you conveniently omitted to tell us!”

Trixie shrugged. “It didn’t seem very relevant. I was still determined to protect the batponies, and my claim to the throne wasn’t complicated that much by the existence of another princess.”

“Not complicated that much?! Didn’t you have to get courtiers to vote for you?”

“That’s really no big deal. I knew I could do it,” Trixie said offhand. Twilight was frustrated to see the verity crystal was still green, as it had been all the way through: Trixie really believed what she was saying.

Twilight sighed again and said seriously, “Trixie. The Penumbra is continuing to spread. Orchards across eastern Equestria are withering because the trees aren’t getting any sunlight. Ponies are panicking because gargoyles keep flying over their villages. If you know anything about how to stop it, we really need you to tell us. Sooner rather than later.”

Trixie made a sad face. “I’m really sorry to hear that, Twilight. And I wish I knew how to stop it, I really do! All I know is that it’s this big atmospheric cloud, and it lets the gargoyles fly. So wherever the borders of the Penumbra grow, that’s how far the Transylmaneian gargoyles can reach. But I have no idea how to make it shrink.”

Twilight Sparkle sighed. “Okay. Well, maybe you’d better carry on telling us everything you can, and we can look for clues. Spike?”

The baby dragon pulled out a fresh scroll and quill. “Ready!”

Trixie nodded. “Okay, so I guess I can skip over my meeting with the Queen and Ethereal Requiem...

So basically, they challenged a stage magician to a popularity contest, which has to be one of the most ill-advised moves in Transylmaneian history. Although I like to think it was more that Queen Heartslash could tell I’d be much better for her country than Ethereal Requiem would and wanted to find a way to let Ethereal Requiem down gently.

Either way, the Great and Powerful Trixie couldn’t just rest on her laurels. I had a lot of courtiers to befriend or impress. And that meant a lot of parties!

We’re not talking Pinkie Pie-style parties here, either. I was in the capital of Transylmaneia now, the city where all the elite are embroiled in a constant struggle to try to one-up one another. So that means parties fancy enough to make Rarity swoon. Ball gowns, canapés, faint ominous organ music in the background.

There’s a slight complication which may have occurred to you: the Great and Powerful Trixie had just arrived in the capital with her friends from the outlying villages. None of those friends are financially well-supplied, and I didn’t have many bits with me either… and of course I didn’t have any fancy ball gowns in my wagon. Especially not ones adapted for wings!

I asked Tatterdrop if she had any ideas what I should wear to the parties. She scowled and rubbed her forehead with a hoof. “Ugh. From trying to help us get food and medicine, to tracking down the season’s must-have evening dresses? You really have taken to the noble lifestyle like a parasprite to a banquet, haven’t you?”

I couldn’t take that lying down. “Hey,” I reminded her. “I found Drifting Melody a doctor now we’re here in the capital, didn’t I? I thought she’d already had her first tonic.”

“Yeah…” To her credit, Tatters saw my point. “And we agreed to help you. And if what you need right now is to get on these nobles’ good side, then I’ll help you if I can. I just don’t have to like it,” she growled.

I winked and told her, “Hey, you might find you like it!”

So anyway, it turned out one of Drifting Melody’s friends who’d come with us knows a noble, a stallion called Glory Hunter. He’s a bit of a buffoon, but he’s friendly enough. He’s not particularly important — certainly nowhere near being one of the nine senior courtiers I need to vote for me — but he does have a very well-appointed house in Nightcrag, including more dresses than I’ve seen anywhere that doesn’t have “Carousel” in the name. And the prospect of doing a favour for the alicorn who might shortly become crown princess… Let’s just say I didn’t need to pay him anything to let us borrow all the glamouralia we could want. And he offered to have his maids do our manes as well.

Meanwhile, back in Ponyville… You know how the newspapers have that hilarious column where they report random news from the quirky corners of Equestria? Rumours from the Crystal Empire, pony interest stories from the kirin village, that kind of thing. It’s one of my favourite bits of the paper. Well, apparently Pinkie Pie saw something about the Transylmaneian royal contest, and mentioned it to Starlight Glimmer.

I found this out because just as I was getting ready to go to the ball, there was a flash and Starlight appeared out of nowhere right next to me with a —pop— and exclaimed, “Trixie-Pinkie-saw-in-the-paper-you’re-in-some-kind-of-contest-to-become-ruler-of-Transylmaneia-and-you-need-to-tell-me-everything-right-now!”

You know how she gets sometimes.

So I explained the whole situation to Starlight, albeit somewhat abbreviated because I really did have to go to this party. Starlight was… suitably impressed. “How the Tartarus did you manage that?” I think were her words. “Also, nice wings. But do you really think it’s a good idea to start off your relationship with these ponies you want to rule by deceiving them? In a way that’ll require you to keep wearing this prop for all of your public appearances from now on?”

Eh. I hate it when Starlight has a point. But what was I going to do? Just admit to the queen that I wore fake wings to see her?

Anyway, I persuaded Starlight to get dressed up and come to the party with us. Starlight’s not normally one for formal attire, but wow, you should have seen her in that gown and necklace with her mane up. She cleans up very nicely. Mmm-mmm.

So it was quite a crowd of us that entered the Ball of the Harvest Moon, all dolled up to the nines. This party was high-class enough that they had a page standing at the door announcing us: “The Royal Princess Trixie Lulamoon, with her guests Starlight Glimmer, Glory Hunter and Tatterdrop!” That got the crowd’s attention, I can tell you.

The first thing I noticed when we entered this mansion was the cats. They have cats at all their parties, Twilight! Loads of them! Prowling around. Climbing over the refreshment tables. Brushing against the candles and nearly setting themselves on fire. Seriously, I’m sure the Transylmaneian vets must treat a dozen feline burn cases each year.

Anyway, I spent a very pleasant couple of hours schmoozing with the great and the powerful… the other great and powerful ponies, that is. They appreciated my straight-talking style. I even had somepony tell me it was “refreshing” compared to the “old way of doing things”. My natural charm did the rest.

While I was hobnobbing and building support, Starlight was feeling a bit out of place. For all her glamour, she said she didn’t feel like she fit in to a gathering of aristocratic batponies. But other guests were asking her about me, with her having been introduced in my party. So she turned the conversation round to me; naturally enough, as I’m sure most of the rest of the conversations in the hall were about me as well. Starlight was particularly wanting to find out what chance I had to win… commendable concern, even if I considered it unnecessary.

What was interesting was she found some supporters of my rival, Ethereal Requiem. Some of them were just rude to Starlight, but one of them said something intriguing. This Baron told her, “No matter how appealing your friend is, there’s no way anypony can defeat the gargoyles.”

Starlight obviously asked what he meant. The Baron wouldn’t go into any more details, but another pony nearby explained the gargoyles protect the royal family and are unwaveringly loyal to them. That was… unnerving to hear. And then… well, the way Starlight told me about it later, somepony else, who’d already had a bit too much of the punch, started to say something like “They guard the inner sanctum of Nightcrag Castle where the royals—” before being forcibly shushed by the other batponies.

Naturally, when Starlight told me this I was very keen to find out more. My first plan was asking Glory Hunter. He was happy to explain the general knowledge about gargoyles to us, like how they’re stone statues brought to life, they always serve the queen, and they’re usually seen in dark places. But when I asked about an “inner sanctum” in Nightcrag Castle, he had no idea.

Starlight and I put our heads together and started to plan. I told her, “Okay, I can’t leave the party. I need to keep on making friends and finding out what the nobles care about. But you can leave if you want… in fact, it’d be really helpful if you could go and search the local library to find out more about this royal inner sanctum.”

Starlight made a face. Apparently searching a library is “more of a Twilight thing to do”. No offence, Princess. But I persuaded her it would be doing me a big favour, and she had been wanting to leave anyway, and it was better than mind-controlling everypony at the party.

If Starlight was feeling somewhat out of place, Tatterdrop was even more so. When I tracked her down and told her the plan, she said, “Ugh, great. I can’t wait to get out of here. I’m sick of pretending to care about the opera or fashion. These nobles just have no clue what life is like in the villages.” Then she gave a fanged smile as she added, “I’m happy to eat their party food though. That was good, at least.” She turned to Starlight. “Shall we make one last raid on the snack table before we go off to do our research?”

---

The next day, after taking some medicine for my headache, I asked Tatterdrop what she and Starlight had found out.

“Your unicorn friend is quite a character,” she replied with a smirk. “She definitely gets results, but the way she does it…”

Starlight popped back in that afternoon — and yes, I mean that literally. I assume she teleported back to Ponyville for the morning.

As soon as I saw her I gave her a glare and said, “What did you do?!” I wasn’t actually angry. Tatters had told me she got what we needed, which is what I cared about. I just like seeing Starlight squirm.

I wasn’t disappointed. “Okay, so, hear me out,” she began. “You wanted to find out about the secret room, right? And looking in a library seemed such a dull way to do that. If it’s a secret who knows if there’ll even be any mention of it in books, right? So… I decided to do a more… practical investigation.”

“So you, what, searched the castle for secret passages yourself?” I said.

“Sort of, yes. More or less.” She was still talking really fast, the way she does when she’s nervous. “I decided this was a fine time to try out the spell to pass through solid objects. You know, the one a few unicorn babies do instinctively. So I teleported us on top of the castle, made the stone permeable to us, and let us gently fall through the rooms looking for the one you wanted!” She gave me a bright, cheerful smile.

Tatterdrop added acidly, “And when she says ‘us’, yes, that does mean she dragged me along with her. Have you ever wanted to spend an evening falling through solid rock and intruding into strange ponies’ bedrooms? No, me neither!” She winced. “Over and over again… fall from sky to cellar, get teleported back to the sky ten yards over, fall through the castle again… My mind doesn’t know how ground works any more.”

“But,” Starlight continued hastily, “we found out, didn’t we?” Tatters just rolled her eyes at her, so Starlight explained, “The spell to make walls and floors passable only works on completely mundane rooms. If somewhere has any magical protection, we can’t enter it. But we can tell where that is. So we found two parts of the castle that are magically shielded. One is the Queen’s quarters and throne room. Makes sense. But the other… is an area the size of a few small rooms, accessed via a seemingly nondescript corridor.”

Tatterdrop added, “And we did find the way in to that area. The door has a raven on it, which ties in with the royal family rumour you heard.”

Drifting Melody perked up at the mention of that. She had been resting on a pile of blankets in the living room, but when she heard us she looked up and said, “That’s right! The castle is called the House of Ravens, isn’t it?” She gave a slow blink and smiled. “I’ve always liked ravens. They make such a peaceful sound...”

I think that was about the point where I started wondering just what was in that tonic the doctor had given her.

I collected myself and said, “Right. Great work, Starlight. So we need an excuse to have a proper sneak around the castle to find the way into that room. Fortunately, one of the banquets to which the Great and Powerful Trixie has been invited is in the castle in just a couple of days’ time.”

Tatterdrop raised an eyebrow at me. “You can remember all the details of all your party invitations?”

“A magician needs to be able to keep track of her tour itinerary,” I replied. “So we have a plan for the day after tomorrow. Between now and then, let’s see if we can find you somewhere better to sleep than Glory Hunter’s drawing rooms. And maybe we can even find you a bakery to work at while we’re here in the capital, and hook Drifting Melody up with a music gig or two.”

“That would be nice,” Melody said. “I’d like to be able to give some of Tatterdrop’s cakes to say thank you to the doctor for looking after me. And to the nice stallion whose house this is, for letting us stay here.”

---

Thank you for listening to my account, Rarity. I told you I have further information about Trixie Lulamoon to convey, and I shall now do so.

The Raven’s Eve is one of the most significant events in the Transylmaneian year. The royal family hold a formal dinner followed by a dance, to which all the highest society ponies are invited. Naturally this was an occasion from which it would not do to be absent. And so, naturally… the upstart Trixie Lulamoon made a nuisance of herself there as well.

Being held within Castle Nightcrag itself, this event was more risky. Trixie is not of our traditions and does not know what is done and what is not done. I determined she should be watched closely, and instructed my agents accordingly, as well as increasing the guard around… sensitive areas.

Sure enough, within an hour of arriving, the interloper was attempting to sneak away. She excused herself in a ridiculous manner: I am unable to imagine any member of the royal family declaring they were “off to the little fillies’ room”... Really, did she think anypony would believe her subterfuge?

It matters not. Before long a subtle butler brought a murmur to my ears that Trixie had been caught in a forbidden corridor. I excused myself politely and made my way to the guard chamber where they were holding her. No unpleasantness: the guards were merely keeping her in one place until I arrived.

I stood before her. “Trixie Lulamoon. Do you know what is the nature of the place you were attempting to access?”

“Something secret,” she retorted. “An inner sanctum where you royals do something dishonest, or control something. Speaking of which, how come the gargoyles grabbed me?”

“So you know nothing,” I observed. “And is it not revealing that you say ‘you royals’. Royalty is not a group with which you associate yourself, is it, Trixie Lulamoon? And nor are those wings real.”

“What does it matter to you?”

“It matters, interloper, because I am the crown princess of Transylmaneia, and I do not appreciate your interference in my affairs. You cannot claim royalty. You are no true princess.”

She shrugged. “Again — what does it matter? I can defeat you, and I will.”

“You know nothing,” I repeated. “You know nothing of the traditions of royalty, its responsibilities, or its powers. You are not one of us…” And her face betrayed her. I observed her reaction and continued, “...You really are not one of us. You lied to the Queen, did you not? You are not even of royal blood.”

The upstart is irritatingly nonchalant even when her deception is exposed. “Eh. I still don’t see that it matters. You can hardly keep me trapped in here for two weeks. Yeah, you’re right, I’m not a princess. But you still treat poor ponies like dirt, so I’m still going to beat you.”

So there you have it. An admission from her own lips. Which I testify that I heard, and your verity crystal confirms: Trixie Lulamoon is no princess.

Comments

[RTStephens]

Of course Starlight would get involved. Those two are joined at the hip. Still, it's amusing how the two tease each other into doing what they want. Just like friends do!