Untitled Displaced Fanfiction (REMAKE)

by Songbird Serenade Thanos

sicko mode part three

Jonah Crumble was cultivating carcinogenic flowers in the royal garden when a messenger pony came up to him. It appeared that a way back to his world had been found. Jonah knew he was going to refuse but still wanted to see this portal for himself. Perhaps take some of his things back to Ponyville. Jonah thanked the messenger pony and stroked his soft, fluffy mane.

“Damn,” thought Jonah, “this shit’s soft,”

He waved the messenger pony goodbye and put on his Sunday suit. Equestrian tailors were confused by Jonah’s alien figure but Rarity relished the opportunity to experiment. Rarity was a true craftspony, constantly pushing the boundaries of her chosen medium. The suit was dotted with magical flowers preserved with salt.

Jonah looked upon the portal. He knew the ponies wouldn’t accept his cold rejection of his homeland so he put on his best sad face and decided to improvise a touching speech.

“I am amazed by the lengths you have all gone to to get me back to my homeland. I have deliberated for hours over whether to stay and I have come to the conclusion that my true allegiance is to the Equestrian state,” said Jonah.

He then proceeded to turn on the water works. Always good to make people feel good about themselves.

“For you see,” he uttered in between convincing sobs, “I have no family or friends to speak of. You have all shown me the power of companionship and... I feel truly at home here,”

He finished off on that glurgey note so as to effectively tug on their loose and happy heartstrings.

“May I... pick up some things and come back?” asked Jonah, knowing the answer would be yes.

“Of course, Jonah,” said Twilight.

“Oh, thank you, thank you!” said Jonah, kneeling before her to feign obsequiousness.

Jonah slowly walked towards the portal (a pace that subtly complemented the persona created through the speech).

Jonah was in his room. White was all around him. No walls. There was a door, though. On his desk was an Astra 900. A German gun that was used during World War Two. Jonah put the gun in his pocket. Jonah pocketed a few bags of Marijuana he had lying in his bedroom drawer. Jonah sighed and gazed at the lightbulb above his head. Floating there silently. Jonah considered shooting himself. He decided against it. He also picked up his portable blu-ray player along with a copy of Halloween II by Rob Zombie.

Upon walking back through the portal, Jonah was greeted with applause. He smiled nervously.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Comments

[Songbird Serenade Thanos]

9795440
It certainly is! So, how are things this time around?