Astral Shadow was down on his luck but it seem's his luck is going to change soon
You seemed a little inconsistent with the years Twilight and Trixie were last out of the lamp.
Chapter 2 they said 800 years. Then last chapter Twilight said 500 and immediately after it Astral says 300.
Well you kind of lose track of time while being in a lamp. For a while and also im sure people can get time wrong XD
Quick tip: writing conventions commonly suggest putting a comma before the name when characters address one another. That helps avoid misunderstandings. Take this example:
"I want to come inside Rainbow Dash!"
versus
"I want to come inside, Rainbow Dash!"
I hope you found this comment useful.
9716540heh I'll make sure to fix that for the book XD thank you great derp
This was one spicy chapter I hope he make it up to Trixie soon.
You seemed a little inconsistent with the years Twilight and Trixie were last out of the lamp.
Chapter 2 they said 800 years. Then last chapter Twilight said 500 and immediately after it Astral says 300.
Well you kind of lose track of time while being in a lamp. For a while and also im sure people can get time wrong XD
Quick tip: writing conventions commonly suggest putting a comma before the name when characters address one another. That helps avoid misunderstandings. Take this example:
versus
I hope you found this comment useful.
9716540
heh I'll make sure to fix that for the book XD thank you great derp
This was one spicy chapter I hope he make it up to Trixie soon.