The way you mark people talking makes it seem like this is all one big flashback or dream sequence for some reason.

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Hi. Thanks for your comment and time you took to read the story.

I didn't knew that it was written that way. I just try to put thoughts of the characters between commas and linesfor diálogos. But I think the first chaptesrs had problems with that. hope I can correcto them as soon as posible.