Pinkie & the Candy Factory

by Zenitram Nadroj

The Invention Room

They enter the invention room. Inside are all kinds of machines creating all sorts of candy in various flavors, shapes and sizes. Para-Barasprites work the machines and test the products.

“This is an inventing room?”, Nana asks. “Gee whiz. This place is even more productive than an asylum for criminally insane creatures.”

“I don’t think even Chaosworth with his magic could find anything in all this.”, Pinkie comments.

“Mr. Blonka, this place seems highly hazardous.”, Cadance says. “Have you, by any chance, hired a single safety inspector for this room?”

“I agree. I mean you’re not even wearing rubber gloves.”, Wind Rider points out.

“You could seriously damage your coat with all of this sciencey stuff.”, Jack Pot says.

“These inventions are are ninety three percent blood, sweat and tears, six percent electricity, three percent evaporation two percent of butterscotch ripple and zero percent of nothing at all.”, Blonka says as he finishes preparing a root beer float.

“But that’s a hundred and five percent. Are you sure you were approximating correctly?”, Cadance asks. “I could ask my sister-in-law to give you some pointers.”

He takes a big gulp and tests the after taste.

“Well, how is it?”, Big asks.

“Very exquisite.”, he says as he heads to a cauldron with content.

He then grabs a clock and puts it in the cauldron.

“Time is what it takes to make something perfect.”

“Why would anypony eat a clock in candy?”, Trixie asks.

“Hey, when you think about it, it actually makes sense.”, Pinkie says.

“Pinkie, with you around, nothing makes sense.”

He then hops onto an egg beater bike and starts pedaling.

“Hey, he’s got an egg beater bike like I do.”, Pinkie says. “Do you think he’s my distant brother?”

Blonka pedals as he hums to himself. Suddenly and without warning, the inside of Stygievee’s mouth explodes. It catches the attention of the other ponies. The force of the explosion sends him flying into a pot rack. Cadance approaches him.

“Stygievee, are you alright?”, Cadance asks.

“I said not to touch anything, silly stallion.”, Blonka says nonchalantly.

“What the heck was that?”, Stygievee asks. “Was there some explosive chemical in that piece of candy?”

“Stygievee, say ahhh.”

He opens his mouth and she sees that his teeth are all filled with holes.

“Ugh, your teeth are all messed up.”

Stygievee then smacks his lips.

“You know, that piece of candy wasn’t half bad.”

“Those are nitroglycerin drops for your enemies. They sound great, but they’re not ready yet. We’re still testing them.”, Blonka says.

He then goes to another cauldron and scoops a hoof full of its content. He then licks it and doesn’t approve of it. He then searches around and grabs horseshoes.

“What are those horseshoes for?”, Big asks.

“To give more kick to the flavor.”

He then goes to another cauldron and sticks his hoof in. The then exclaims as he pulls it out.

“What happened? Is it hot?”, Stygievee asks.

“It’s cold. Way too cold. I need to heat this up a bit.”

He then opens a steel crate and grabs giant tongs. He reaches down and pulls out a steaming lava rock. He then puts it into the cauldron.

“That aught to do it.”

Wind Rider looks behind him and sees an invention covered in fabric sheets. As he starts to take a peek, the alarm goes off. Blonka looks behind him and pushes him away.

“No, no, no. You musn’t look underneath these sheets. Nopony should look underneath.”, he warns. “This right here is my most important invention in this entire factory. This right here is sure to be the one that will give Chaosworth a run for his money.”

“What is it?”, Pinkie asks.

“Would you all like to see?”

He then pushes a button and activates the machine. It starts beeping and turning its gears underneath its sheets. One by one it puts out its creation. Blonka picks one up and presents it to the others.

“What is that?”

“Everypony, I present to you, a Forever Tasty Gulpstacker.”

The golden factory pass winners widen their eyes at the mention of its name.

“A forever tasty gulpstacker?”, Stygivee asks.

“Indeed it is. You can suck on these forever and it will never lose its flavor.”

“I’d like a forever tasty gulpstacker!”, Trixie says.

“Me too.”, Lightning says.

“I’d like one as well.”, Stygivee says.

“Very well.”

He’s about to give one but stops for a moment.

“But on one condition.”, he warns. “Once I give them to you, you all must promise to never ever show these to anypony else, understood?”

Trixie gives a slight mischievous grin as she and the others hold out their hooves.

“Agreed.”, they all say.

“Very well.”

He then gives them all on gulpstacker each.

“Alright, on to the next invention.”

They all follow him to another invention.

“Now this right here is my latest invention. We’ve finished this right before we opened the gates to the factory.”

“What is it?”, Nana asks.

“I’ll show you right now. Now where’s that button?”

“Over here, Mr. Blonka.”, Pinkie says.

“Ah. Thank you.”

He then presses it and the machine starts working.

“I present to all of you the most innovative form of candy I have ever created.”

A single gumball dispenses and Blonka pulls it out.

“Behold.”

“That’s it?”, Stygivee asks.

“Do you realize what it is?”

“It’s a gumball, so what?”, Lightning says.

“So what? This isn’t just any gumball, this is the most amazing gumball ever created.”

“What’s so special about it?”

“It’s essentially a royal feast rolled into one single gumball.”

“Oh, really? Let me give it a try.”

“Uh, Lightning, I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.”, Blonka warns.

“Oh, please. I didn’t train to become a Wonderbolt for nothing.”

“But you’re not a Wonderbolt.”, Pinkie says.

“Quiet, you.”

She then takes it into her mouth and starts chewing.

“Well, how is it?”

“It’s amazing.”, she exclaims. “I can taste carrot and potato soup running down my throat.”

“You should probably spit it out now.”, Blonka says nonchalantly.

“Why doesn’t she just listen to Mr. Blonka?”, Pinkie asks.

“Because, Pinkie, she likes to be a boaster.”, Nana says.

“Hey, the flavor is changing now. Now I taste steamed broccoli and diced tomatoes.”

“Wait how can a single gumball change its flavor so quickly?”, Jack Pot asks.

“Oh, my goodness. Now I taste chocolate cake and apple pie.”

“Oh, dear.”, Blonka says.

Suddenly, Lightning’s face starts to turn red.

“Hey, why is her face turning red?”, Trixie asks. “Is she mad or something?”

“No, she’s not even scowling.”, Stygivee says.

“Lightning, what’s happening to you?”, Wind asks.

“What are you talking about, Dad?”, she asks before looking at her hooves.

Her eyes widen as she sees it’s all red.

“I told to her spit it out.”, Blonka says. “We haven’t properly fixed it yet. It always goes wrong when it gets to the dessert. So now she’s becoming an apple.”

“An apple?!”, Wind asks in shock.

Lightning starts growing a stem on her head and grows peels on her hooves.

“I don’t feel so good.”, Lightning says.

“I don’t know what the problem is. Every single Para-Barasprite I tried it on already became apples.”

“You are so going to pay for this, Blonka!”, Wind shouts.

“Well, I supposed there’s one thing I can do to fix this.”

He pulls out his flute and plays the melody again. Lightning then starts swelling up.

“Why is she starting to swell up?”, Wind asks.

“She’s being filled with apple juice.”

“Apple juice?”

A Para-Barasprite approaches the stallion.

“Would you please roll Miss Lightning Dust to the juicing room?”

The insect nods and goes to the mare.

“The Para-Barsprites are going to take her to the juicing room to squeeze all the juice out of her before she becomes an apple permanently.”

(Song for This Scene Here)

The Para-Barasprites roll Lightning out of the room with Wind following them.

“Great, now we’ll never be accepted by the Wonderbolts now.”, he says with grief. “Why me? Why, oh, why, oh, why?”

Comments

[Godslittleprincess]

Well, that happened. Also, one would think that Stygian would know better than to randomly shove an experimental piece of candy in his mouth.

Fun fact: Nitroglycerin can be used as a heart medication. However, medical nitroglycerin is mixed with a bunch of inactive ingredients so that it doesn't explode. In theory, adding enough nitroglycerin into candy to make it explode would make it unfit for human consumption.