This fic was awesome! Great work, one of the better futa fics I’ve read.

Contest judge again. Thoughts.

Like your other story the dialogue is pretty good. This one appeals to my personal tastes a little less than the other but that's no fault of yours or the fic. So most of what I have to say relates more to the presentation.

First off, Luna's way of looking dreams was rather amusing. She browses though pony dreams in search of smut in the same way a horny person browses their overpriced cable TV package for skinemax. I mean, wow, Luna's kind of a creeper, huh? Good stuff.

Here's something that bugged me a bit though. Luna and Celestia spend a fair bit of time pining about the wonder of coming together in their youths. They even partially live out this fantasy through the dream world, at least in theory. In practice, the story doesn't really use the dreamscape for much other than a vague backdrop for the sex.

That's kind of a shame.

The other thing I wonder is... if the story of their coming together is so poignant and amazing, then... why not make the fic about that instead? It'd tap into the first time aspect many fans of incest(myself included) enjoy. Plus it'd give you a lot of creative freedom considering it takes place during the largely underutilized past. You could go wild there.

Anyway that's just my musings, largely. I have a few technical writing criticisms but they are minor enough that I'll save it.

With that in mind, what's left is a good story on it's own, but only a passable incest story.
Thanks, though.

9612134
Thanks for leaving your thoughts again
And yeah, I've always liked the idea that Luna's a low key creeper

The point of it being in the dreamscape is that since reuniting, Celestia has been more guarded and won't open up to her sister sexually.
The dreamscape is how Luna discovers her true feelings and basically sneaks past her mental barrier to reignite things
So it needed to be in the dreamscape, though I guess that didn't come across as well as I'd hoped it had

And I wouldn't say that when they first came together it was especially poignant
It's just that, they have been together for a thousand years, so they're reminiscing about when times were simpler and their first time naturally stands out in Celestia's mind.
But if the story was just about that time, it wouldn't have the same weight,
This is more of a story of rekindling something that hasn't been there for a very long time

Also, if you have any writing criticisms I'd love for you to PM them to me
Even minor ones are a big help
I can't catch all the problems but I hate to keep them in there

Exquisite.