Remembrance

When I was young I lived with my parents in Nordstern.

We lived there ever since. We had a convenience store and sold about everything a pony could ask for, most of which lived in town, but every now and then travelers came by to stock up for their journey. We were hardly the biggest supplier, but we managed.

My mother, Quaint, often tried to persuade them to stay in town, since going outside was rather dangerous. My father, Steadfast, on the other hoof tried to reassure them to simply come back safely. They were very different in this regard and often argued about it.

Sometimes I was left rather confused on who is right and who's wrong and why they even tried to change each other's minds after so many years but in the end, they rather let go than hurting another. This is how I learned that there often is no such thing as right and wrong, but different ways of caring for someone, which was also their way of loving one another.

It's easy to understand now than it was back then. I still was young and naive and barely saw all the town had to offer, let alone what laid past the city walls, so it's fair to say I was rather narrow-minded and... probably quite boring to talk to.

My parents had no such issues from what I could tell. My father usually worked in the back, handling heavy barrels and alike, but you could be sure if someone visited the store they would ask for him to chit-chat. It felt like my father knew the howl world! … and as for my mother; she wasn't friends with everyone, but she had no issue talking to strangers, which was important since she also worked at the checkout or took orders. Mom was (as dad put it) 'the face of the store' -and a pretty face at that! He couldn't help the flattery, which might be another reason he had to work in the back, now that I think about it.

This is where I and how I spent most of my formative years. Staying in the back, helping my parents, and drawing pictures. The ladder I started because I loved Close-Up's stories, he was a unicorn and a good friend of our family. He traveled more than anyone else and whenever he came back; we gathered and listened to hear all about his journeys. He told us about places we saw and people we never met, and suddenly our world felt so much smaller from what I knew, and I tried to imagine what it was like and... drew.

Inspiration was one of the strongest feelings I knew, that is, until Close-Up brought his friend along, Cast Iron. He was a local blacksmith which was unusual for a pegasus since you had to take care to not burn your feathers. I heard he fanned the flames with his wings... but, that's beside the point.

I know I ramble from time to time, but I couldn't simply forget any of them, they all played such a big part in my life. They all were precocious to me in their own way. Admittedly, there was one pony who was even more than that, Iron Cast's son – Sledge. He too was a pegasus, just like his father; with gray fur, a wonderful white mane, and the greenest eyes I ever saw...

He was polite, friendly, and radiated self-confidence I couldn't imagine having. He was about my age but took on so much more responsibility and already traveled with his father, meanwhile, I struggled to make friends and... leaving the house on my own was quite frankly; scary to me. My mother always warned me to be careful and when travelers came into our store they too warned about the dangers lurking outside and the rest was up to my imagination running wild with all of it. There was always this feeling that something was out to get me, that the ground would open up and simply swallow me howl. I admired him.

It took all my courage to talk to him... and I ended up acting rather awkward since I copied what I saw Close-Up doing with his friend and... jabbed his shoulder. Actually, I was so nervous that it was more of a punch than a jab. Luckily he didn't mind and I got a chance to apologize after which we talked on a near-daily basis. He also convinced me to explore more of the city... -we played in the snow and I trusted him to take care of me. Even when it was something mundane as snow falling from a tree, he did extend his wing and make sure to catch it. He helped me to better understand how my parents could be so different and still love another so much.

Time flew by and days turned into weeks and months and for a while, I thought that I finally was complete. This would be my life and- there was nothing more to it. I thought that I was free but my world was still nothing more than a snow-globe. I didn't know of the world around me, how it really was, behind the glass.

The day it changed felt just like another one. The sun got up. We had breakfast. The store opened and closed. All the while I kept one eye on the clock and couldn't wait for another date with my friend. Oddly enough he didn't show up.

At first, I thought he might run late, which would have been unusual, but possible.

I waited for about an hour but he still didn't come. I wondered what had happened?

Perhaps I remembered the wrong time? Or there was a misunderstanding? I began to worry if I said something wrong the last time we mt, but whatever came to mind it didn't feel right. I tried to understand something I couldn't until then. That the world wasn't turning around me.

Then my parents got home. When I saw their faces... my world fell apart.

I never saw them like this.

They asked me to sit down and told me what had happened. Close-Up, the unicorn who told me all those wonderful stories, he had died. I couldn't believe it. They told me that there was an avalanche and... they could only find five of his group. He wasn't one of them.

Hearing this shook me to the core. I couldn't believe it. It didn't want to.

I was still young and simply couldn't deal with the situation. Close-Up had been like a second father to me, which made me think that one day I would lose him the same way. All my thoughts ran circles around the idea of losing my parents...

They brought me to my room and made soup, tugged me in, and stood by my side till I fell asleep... once I managed to get a hold of my self that is.

I couldn't be asleep for more than a few minutes when I woke up again.

I found myself sitting upright when the realization hit me: this was why Sledge hadn't come!

Suddenly I felt so idiotic! I thought he had forgotten or didn't care for me anymore when he must have been in the same pain I was! And here I was sitting in my bed doing nothing!? The guilt made me feel sick to my stomach.

For all the times my friend had been there for me, helping to overcome my insecurity, I wasn't there when he needed me the most! Instead, I sat at home with a bowl of tomato soup next to my bed. I felt like the most useless pony there is!

I quickly went downstairs since I wanted to ask my parents if they could take me to my friend, only to find them in the kitchen, talking about ways to help Close-Up's family. His wife Iris and his son Swift-Move (or as I would later know him: Ace)

“M-om? Dad?” I asked shyly and before I could say anything else they told me “Not today, we need some time to... sort things out. Please go back upstairs” -it was like they could read my mind.

So I turned around and~ I couldn't.

When they weren't looking I snuck the other way and grabbed my jacket and opened the door and immediately was greeted with a cold wind blowing in my face. Once more I froze up. I was about to disobey my parents. Going out all alone. And what just had happened only amplified my fear about the outside~ starring at the white ground gave me a feeling of vertigo, and my hooves felt like they were glued to the ground and refused to move like I was standing in front of a white abyss.

Part of me wanted to slam the door shut and hide under my bed, while the other refused to give up this easily, if not for myself. It wasn't until I heard my father asking 'why is it so cold all of a sudden?' I wasn't sure what they would do when they found me like this so I – just closed my eyes and RAN!

I couldn't see where I was going but I felt the snow beneath my hooves when I crossed the streets and brushed past a lantern, before falling on my snout. I looked over my shoulder to see what happened and saw my dad staring at me- my mom was right behind him “Muse!?” they asked- but I already picked myself up and ran away...

I briefly several a couple of roads later, hiding in a toy store to fetch my breath, when the owner asked me if I need help (since I looked so upset). It took a moment to realize I already made it half the way, and aside from scratches and bruises, I was sure I could actually make it! “N-o thank's I'm fine!”

After leaving the store I ran the rest of the way. I stumbled. I fell. But I got back up again and... eventually, I made it! I was so proud of myself when I saw their sign. A big anvil with sparking metal on top. It was the furthest I ever went on my own!

When I lowered my sight I found Sledge. He sat on a bench right outside the store.

We looked at each other and I saw this incredible sadness in his eyes. Up until then, I thought he was the bravest pony I ever met, but he was just as scared as I.

I walked up to him and sat down on his side. He seemed somewhat surprised but didn't ask me about it. I wouldn't know what to say and... then he put his wing around me and I knew that he was simply happy that I was there. That was all that it took...

...to be there for someone.

Author's Note:

Ouf. This took forever.
I simply wouldn't know how to finish (this chapter) and started over and over and whatever I thought off, ended in another dead end.

Now that i finally managed i think it simply feels right.
Like a mission cornerpiece of a puzzle, meant to bring it all together...

There will be one or two more chapters and luckily I have a rather good idea of what those will look like, and I hope I can deliver them to you a little sooner this time! I guess we all can use a little distraction with all the 'things' happening outside.

Take good care of one another! /)

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