My mom is the moon.

by Dimond Rainbow

Don't make this lemonade

"Oh, mein Kopf..." I groaned, rubbing the back of my head.

Colors swirled around nauseously, and the ground tilted beneath my feet.

" Ich denke, Ich werde krank…!" I said throwing a hand to my mouth, I barely managed to swallow the vomit that tickled the very back of my throat.

It took but a moment for the vortex of which I was seated to stop spinning so wildly, to calm its rampant twists and jolts. With bleary blue eyes I looked up and covered my eyes as white hot light burned them.

"Bist du in Ordnung?" I heard Tia's voice cut through the thick hazy fog that was my mind, and all I could even think at that moment was:

So, you don't know where Connecticut is but you know verflucht German?!

I must have thought aloud, because that white rainbow hair pastel horse answered with lightheartedness.

"As Princess, I must be fluent in many languages. Although, the tongue I was speaking was Germane."

I slumped back onto the floor, Not only were these crazy horses, but they had monarchy and had played a cruel pun on one of my favorite foreign countries.

Luna walked over to me, her mood soured no doubt by my wanting to leave, I mean if she wanted kids, she could just I don't know adopt or what ever they do here, I mean Ada and I had talked about what we might do in the case of wanting a family.

I must have spaced out because Luna's words didn't reach my ears in the slightest. "Huh?"

"I said... I'm terribly sorry if you are unhappy here, and I promise to do everything in my power to make your time here enjoyable..." The blue horse said.

"Ook then, if that's the case." I stood and clapped my hands together, rubbing them menacingly, oh I could do a lot, maybe even send these two gals for a loop. "First off; I need something, like a ginger ale or sprit. Heck, maybe even a capuchin. And maybe a phone, I gotta tell my family I'm ok and not dead or whatever. I also am going to need a pizza, and maybe a map. I need to know where I'm at, and maybe some paper and pencil."

Maybe a few thousand dollars?

Tia nodded to a guard, who took off down the many halls.

"So, perhaps we- I could inquire your name, little one?" Luna asked, sitting on the floor near her sister, across from me.

"Diamant Hört-auf Childers. Daughter of world renowned German singer Crystal Cadenza Juwel, and John Xavier Childers famous defense attorney. And the most amazing step mother Gia Ariana Dores-Childers I count as my mother rather than the pompous singer who birthed me. I've got three younger brothers whose name is not of importance. The most fucking beautiful, amazing, gorgeous, sexy, hot perfect girlfriend Ada Éblouir Juliom who has the most amazing voice and body to match! I, myself; well I'm supposed to be; a twenty-one-year-old college student, studying music, art, and history. I'm normally 5"4' and that is me in an entire nutshell. Any questions, because right now I just want to get this over with and out of this fucking place!" I said, my tone a falsified chirp.

"Diamond Heartsong… What a beautiful name." Luna smiled, clapping her hooves in front of her joyously. I facepalmed and was going to correct her when a guard brought in some of my requested Items.

I picked up the breeze bay ginger drink, assuming it was a soda, and took a long drag. With the sweet and bubbling liquid still tingling my taste buds, I picked up the map, paper and pencil -or more correctly- a box of crayons.

I took to work and began to trace a map of the states from memory, granted it was very off, but at this point in time it would have to work.

Then I began to compare my map to the one brought in by the guard.

I continued to compare the two, emptying my soda as the day wore on the two princesses watching me work.

---

---

When I finished, I realized that I was no where near my home, the maps didn't match up at all, true some of these towns sounded like cruel puns of towns I knew of, but damn I never expected this at all.

I slumped back, blowing air out my lips. "Well, unfortunately for me... I'm stuck here. Lucky for you... I'm stuck here..."

The blue-pain-in-the-butt looked giddy at this, while Not-so-annoying-white-horse seemed to look at me with pity.

"Huzzah! I-er... What I mean to say is, that's unfortunate, but I'm glad that you will be staying here my daughter!" The blue one said, looking slightly sheepish.

"Look, let me lay down some ground rules if I'm going to be staying here there needs to be boundaries. 1: I don't want to be treated like a little kid, I'm not, I'm a young woman. 2: If I'm going to be staying here, I'm going to need clothing, other than this. 3: I do not need a new mother, so, hate to be a downer princess, but no matter how you wish it I'm not going to call you 'mom'. 4: I need a balanced diet, so sorry to burst your vegetarian bubble but that means; I need meat." I said, folding my arms in front of me.

Both princess blinked, and looked to each other, then to me, back and forth. "Well... I can see what I can do about the cloths..." Tia said, both seeming to be slightly disturbed by my statement about meat eating.

"I can perhaps ask our advisories in griffon stone, the dragon lands, and in mount Aris if they could perhaps spare a chef and some meat... And despite what you have said I shall keep my hope alive, that we shall share the bonds of mother and child!" The Blue princess cringed at the mention of all things made of animals, and bounced right back at the thought of this relationship.

I facepalmed.

She'll never learn will she?

I paused, even though I had looked at the map, I didn't pay attention to all the names. "Wait... There are fucking horses who eat meat?!" I asked, bug eyed.

"No. We are ponies. But, Griffons, Dragons, and Hippogriffs eat meat, and perhaps they can spare a chef to prepare these foods you need." Luna said, lifting me up in a cloud of pale blue smoke.

I twisted around, as she placed me on her back, unsure at what had just happened. "What the hell was that?!"

"Magic." She said, a bemused smile dancing across her lips. "And Tia. I know just the pony to make Diamond clothing! If you need me, I shall be in Ponyville!"

I barely had time to scream, or hang on as the insane blue mare jumped off the balcony and took flight towards a small town in the distance.

Author's Note:

Oh, mein Kopf
Oh, my fucking head

---

Ich denke, Ich werde krank
I think, I'm going to be sick

---

Bist du in Ordnung?
Are you alright?

---

verflucht
fucking

---

Diamant Hört-auf
Diamond Heart-song

---

Crystal Cadenza Juwel
Crystal Cadenza Jewel

---

Éblouir
Dazzle (in French!)

---

Juliom
Adagio (in Siberian Latin)

---

I do not know German, but boy google translate is sure a nice tool to have on your writers belt, I'll say!
And if you can't guess who Diamant's girlfriend/fiance is, well
And any guesses as to who this pony Luna is mentioning?
I also have no idea if hippogriffs eat meat but, you know what, it you'd think with a beak like that, they must eat a bit.

Comments

[Viper Pit]

If you are confused as to weather or not hippogriffs eat meat just look at the beak. A thin hooked beak often means that yes they eat meat where as a thick straight beak means they eat more nuts and insects.

[Efadd]

Diamond's going to see Rarity

[Dimond Rainbow]

9468742
Well I wasn't confused, but the show hasn't proved any rock solid evidence that they eat meat or not, but it does make for quite the interesting twist does it not?
Which nation will be chosen to prepare food for this human thrown into a world of ponies?

[Dimond Rainbow]

9468853
Yes, yes she is.

[Goldspoon]

Pro tip, never run made-up words like 'heartsong' by translation sites.
'Hört auf' means literary 'Listen to...', or by context 'Obey...' or 'Stop it!'
Heartsong is a compound word of Heart=Herz and Song=Lied also Herzlied, but that sounds stupid.
Instead use Herzenslied meaning 'Heart's Song'.

Second, 'Crystal Cadenza Jewel' correctly translated is 'Kristall Kadenz Juwel' but Kristall has a masculin pronoun here in germany, so maybe not a good name for a woman. (I guess the lightly strange naming of some OCs hints to a connection to Equestria in the past, but still.)

Lastly, what's Siberian Latin? In Siberia they speak russian, a slavic language. Latin is the basis of todays romance languages like french or spanish.

[Viper Pit]

9469767
I feel like ambassadors will be sent for this unusual request

[fluttershyfan3030]

Wow good strong start i look forward to your next chapter. Also please keep translating what Diamant say when she speaks german it'll help fools like me understand what she says in your author's note. It obvious who Luna is going to see. One more thing you're very clever when you first introduced Ada i had no idea you were talking about the siren Adagio Dazzle or some form of her. Now that i re-read this chapter you were pretty obvious. Nevertheless still pretty clever. You have some way to introduce the other 2 sirens in some form even as off hand mentions or developing Diamant more? In fun and clever ways. Either/or great start.

[Dimond Rainbow]

9469773
Well, that's what google said, I'm only 15 here and don't know that many languages, like only basic Spanish and a little French and mandarin, but that's just from tv and movies.
I'm glad you know proper translations of it now and I feel a little like a fool now...
Thanks for the comment!

[Dimond Rainbow]

9472061
Glad you like it, and this is kind of a fun way to learn new languages am I right?
And Diamant is just an Equestria girl Oc but in the human realm, I might do a story later on about her and Adagio
And yes, as the story goes on, you will learn more about Diamant as she begins to trust the ponies more.
And maybe, but Ada/ Adagio never really introduces Diamant to her sisters/bandmates, she only knows them briefly.