The massive creature towered over them, letting loose a deep, guttural roar as it lumbered toward the Rainbooms.
“Put some fire into that thing!” Bradford shouted, taking command almost immediately. Firepower lit up the room as bullets slammed into the creature. However, that simply made it angry. With another roar, it simply swung at the wall, demolishing it and causing rubble, plaster, and wreckage to fall down onto the floor, thankfully missing most of the squad, but making a mess nonetheless.
“How do we take that thing down?” Cheerilee shouted.
“An’ since when was mah own Granny a towerin’ monster?” Applejack added her voice to the din that was going on all around.
“I suspect it infiltrated a while back, and then sat there for a while until it was needed.” Everyone stared at one of the soldiers. “What?”
“Not...helping!” Sweetie Belle shouted, as she fired off her sniper rifle again, hitting the creature once more. This just made it angrier, and it swung again, sweeping people off their feet and causing them to hit the floor.
It was just then Bradford saw the weak point. He aimed his rifle, and fired. The shot hit the creature’s eye, and it fell to the floor, dead.
Apple Bloom looked amidst the carnage and rubble that was Canterlot High School. “How many of us are there now?” she asked.
“We haven’t seen anybody else, so we have reason to believe you are the only ones left alive,” Cheerilee told her. “Hopefully this will ensure that jealousy won’t get the better of you next time.”
“What’ll we do?” Scootaloo asked. “We have nothing left here.”
Bradford sighed. “You could join XCOM,” he suggested. “You all fought like lions today, and you survived. Good grounds for new recruits, I think.”
Super short and does not explain very much how Granny was a sleeper agent.
9466394
True. On reflection, this idea was shit.
9466397
Honestly, it just seems like something too extreme and really challenges the suspension of disbelief.
9466399
Your right. Maybe I'll do this site a favour and delete it.
9466427 Well, I actually liked it, but it's your story, so you do what you think is best, Blue.
Although I do agree with KR that this chapter was mega-short, and didn't explain Granny being a sleeper agent.
And if this IS complete, if you DON'T end up deleting it, you MIGHT want to MARK it as "Complete".
Just a thought.
9466427
Keep the documents. Maybe you can retool and revise.
Rule of thumb: Proofread and look it from a reader's perspective.
9466439
I need some time to think.
9466441
I will.
9466447 Okay.
Take all the time you need.
Sunset should move back to Equestria.
10409372
Agreed.