What would you do to protect what you love. Push others into harms way or even become like the monsters you swore to fight. Twilights journey will find if she can keep human enough to survive.
I don't knew why but I can see twilight beign already a fully lincess hunter, who been sent to the school undercover cause of some unknown reason and few of the teacher knew the fact she already fully lincess hunter
9493075 oh I figure that, I also figure twilight combat style is either A. teleport/jump around the monsters and blast them with magic pluse/blade and do a hit and run style or B. rush in use magic to form shield and buff on herself and up and close in front.
You've got some decent world building. But your style leans heavily towards expository. Between this and your grammar, it can be difficult to read sometimes. You're also showing a lot of tropes common to young adult novels or high school animes. This strikes me as odd, given that Twilight is twenty-one at year one. At this point, these things will either develop into interesting character points or really bad cliches. Additionally, because you established the age of Twilight and not the others (unless I've missed something), you've raised a lot of questions on how the ranking system really works here. It seems like a lot of people who made it into the school as first years already had a lot of magic and/or monster fighting experience on them.
I'm still enjoying the premise and looking forward to see where this all goes.
Twilight felt every eye on her as she racked her brain for an answer. "You lead the battle of Moscow with the assistance of twenty Jaegers against an army of alphas. During which you killed five hundred within the first hour and held back the army as the rest of the Jaegers retreated to the second line to set up an ambush." She spoke once one of the lessons Cinder had given her reached her mind.
You’d think he’d train harder after all the times she’s got to have said that to him.
9492091
Well I mean when you are trained by a person who's name is up there with the legends most people struggle to match up.
I see what you did there!
STARSWIRL'S GUIDE TO THE MAGICAAAALLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't knew why but I can see twilight beign already a fully lincess hunter, who been sent to the school undercover cause of some unknown reason and few of the teacher knew the fact she already fully lincess hunter
9492978
Not quiet as she's just had a lot of training before the school
9493075
oh I figure that, I also figure twilight combat style is either A. teleport/jump around the monsters and blast them with magic pluse/blade and do a hit and run style or B. rush in use magic to form shield and buff on herself and up and close in front.
9493120
You'll see soon enough what she may like.
So long and thanks for all the fish.
Good ole Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy.
The Answer and the question cannot exist in the same universe.
You've got some decent world building. But your style leans heavily towards expository. Between this and your grammar, it can be difficult to read sometimes. You're also showing a lot of tropes common to young adult novels or high school animes. This strikes me as odd, given that Twilight is twenty-one at year one. At this point, these things will either develop into interesting character points or really bad cliches. Additionally, because you established the age of Twilight and not the others (unless I've missed something), you've raised a lot of questions on how the ranking system really works here. It seems like a lot of people who made it into the school as first years already had a lot of magic and/or monster fighting experience on them.
I'm still enjoying the premise and looking forward to see where this all goes.
So...a very slow Tuesday by my standards.