Hearth's Warming Cards

by canehdianbacon

Round 2

Pinkie Pie loudly sipped at her hot cocoa eagerly as the warm, sweet liquid traveled down her throat to join the other two helpings she already gulped down. Spike joined her in bliss, slurping at the cup that he held at his lips. Spike's hot scales and dragon nature allowed him to gulp in down without worrying about burning himself as it warmed his cold-blooded body. Across from Spike was Rainbow Dash, quickly blowing on her cocoa so she could enjoy the same, sweet experience as Pinkie and Spike.

On the contrary, Rarity and Twilight blew at their's at little more quietly, the unicorn trying to preserve her couth nature. Fluttershy, however, stuck to letting hers cool down without the assistance of blowing as she sat comfortably with her blanket surrounding her all sides.

"Spike? Pinkie Pie?" Twilight asked. "I think you should slow down with your cocoa. Applejack hasn't even come back with her own yet."

"I'm sure it's fine, Twilight." Spike reassured. "Do you even know how much hot cocoa mix you bought?" Spike ended with a laugh, Pinkie joining in agreement as she licked her chocolate mustache.

"You're never gonna drop that, are you?" Twilight asked with a deadpanned expression.

"Not until all the food is gone!" Spike replied. "Which will probably be never!"

Twilight rolled her eyes in disapproval as the friends laughed along with the dragon. Soon after, Applejack rounded the corner once again, hot cocoa in hoof.

"Alright, y'all. I'm back; we can start now." Applejack announced, joining everyone at while she sat.

A second later, Pinkie zipped back into the kitchen, leaving a little puff of smoke in her trail. A couple seconds later, she had zipped back into the spot she had just sat in, new cup of cocoa in hoof.

"Alright, everypony!" The party pony began. "Round two here we come!"

Everyone then set their cocoa aside as they picked up their respective decks to resume the game. While they did this, Pinkie grabbed a black card from the centre and began her turn as Card Queen.

"What's the gayest?" Pinkie read. Everyone laughed at the bizarre first card. After given some time, all of the cards were then given the Card Queen. After Pinkie had all the cards, she shuffled them and began to read out.

"What's the gayest? Princess Celestia talking dirty!" Pinkie exclaimed, everyone shared another laugh at the first submission.

"Hey, Twilight?" Rainbow asked. "How about that foursome card?"

"Drop it, okay?!" Twilight demanded.

"What's the gayest? Your weird brother." Pinkie continued.

Rainbow laughed until she couldn't breath, already knowing what to say to the blushing alicorn.

And Twilight knew all too well what was coming.

"D'ya think it's talking about Shining Armour?!" Rainbow cried, trying to steady her laughter enough to speak. Twilight didn't even bother retorting against Rainbow's onslaught as her friends laughed along with the pegasus. After about half a minute of torture, everyone was calm enough for Pinkie to continue.

"What's the gayest? Swamp fever breakout."

This card didn't earn any laughs or reactions from the group. Though, Fluttershy cringed at the memory of her experience of the strange encounter with the lethal illness.

"What's the gayest? The gays,” the friends got a good kick out of the submission that Pinkie read.

"That does make a lotta sense, I guess!" Applejack commented.

"What's the gayest? Southern Equestria!" Pinkie laughed.

"Hey!" Applejack countered, soon glancing to a certain pegasus who was giggling knowingly to herself. "Did you play that card, Rainbow Dash?"

"...Maybe." Rainbow snickered.

"And lastly, what's the gayest?" Pinkie began to finish off, but then raised a confused eyebrow at the white card in front of her. "Opening your mouth to talk and a big penis flops out?"

Pinkie's friends looked just as confused as her as they made several awkward glances of their own.

"Well, that certainly does not sound... sanitary." Rarity said.

"That is the seventh strangest thing I've ever heard." Applejack admitted.

After a few seconds of debating with herself, Pinkie chose a winner of the black card. "I think I'll go with Celestia talking dirty! Who had that one?" Pinkie announced.

Sitting comfortably under the embrace of her blanket, Fluttershy raised a hoof above her head to answer.

"That was your card, Fluttershy?!" Rainbow blurted.

"Mhm." Fluttershy blushed.

"Congratulations, Fluttershy!" Twilight applauded. The friends that surrounded the pegasus gave their applause as well. After everyone had picked up a new white card to refill, Rainbow then picked up a black card for her second turn a the Card Queen.

"In a world ravaged by blank, our only solace is blank." Rainbow announced, then quickly asked. "Wait, why are there two blanks?"

"Oh, yeah!" Pinkie beamed. "I forgot about pick-two's! These cards have the other players play two white cards instead of one. Each card fills in a part of the sentence!" Pinkie elaborated.

"Okay, so I imagine we want to place our first card on the bottom first, then the second?" Twilight asked Pinkie.

"You got it right between the eyes, Twilight!" Pinkie confirmed. "Make sure to place your two cards you want to submit separate from the other submissions so no one gets mixed up. When the Card Queen read a submission, they'll flip both cards over, reading the one on the bottom first!"

After the friends had taken in Pinkie's information, they all quickly began roaming their respective decks in search of their best possible answers. The group took their precious time, this being their first pick-two after all. After about two minutes, everyone gave Rainbow their pairs of cards, making sure to keep each pair separate from the others.

"Everypony's answers are in?" Rainbow asked her friends, everyone nodding in approval. Rainbow then picked up the pair closest to her hooves and began. "Okay... here goes. In a world ravaged by poor life choices, our only solace is masturbation!"

The first submission got an immediate reaction from the friends. Rainbow was already satisfied with the answer as she had fallen onto her back, laughing as her chest gasped for air to supply her spastic lungs. Pinkie, Applejack, and even Spike got a good piece of the contagious laughter. Soon enough, the laughter had calmed down, allowing Rainbow to continue.

"In a world ravaged by boring vaginal sex, our only solace is Daring Do and Caballeron erotica!" Rainbow said, her laughter returning.

Apart from everyone else's laughter, Twilight looked disturbed by the sentence that had just entered her ears.

"Uhh... I-um..." Twilight stammered, not knowing how to respond to such a statement as she blushed once again. "Okay, first of all, it's Dr. Caballeron! Secondly, that... that's just sick!"

"Oh now, Twilight. Don't pretend y'all haven't imagined somethin' like that before!" Applejack teased the alicorn. "We know how much you love those books!"

Twilight had to face facts as didn't have anything to retort against her friend's comment. Blushing to herself, she sat with her hooves crossed while her friends giggled to each other.

"Onto the next one!" Rainbow said. "In a world ravaged by penis breath, our only solace is a good sniff!" Rainbow began laughing hysterically yet again, unable to contain herself. "My stomach hurts!"

"I would not dare partake in this sniffing." Rarity claimed as she waved her hoof out in disgust towards the pair of cards, as if trying to waft away a stench in the air. After Rainbow had finished laughing for now, she continued.

"In a world ravaged by everything, our only solace is some Celestia damn peace and quiet!" Rainbow chuckled, but not laughing nearly as hard as she had at the last couple submissions. "In a world ravaged by quesadillas, our only solace is a dragon's appetite." Rainbow said.

Everyone's gaze had once again shifted to Twilight, seeing her disturbed face had returned. Knowingly, Pinkie Pie scooted over to her right and around the circle. Now behind Twilight, Pinkie began to whisper into the alicorn's ear.

"I can imagine it now. A world taken over by a cheesy, gooey, sticky, rich, evil army of quesadillas!" Pinkie said dramatically, falling onto her rump with a hoof over her forehead. "How can you ever save us from this horribly horrific disaster, Twilight?!"

"Pinkie, cut it out." Twilight said, having enough quesadilla trauma for now. After Pinkie had returned to her original seat, Rainbow allowed herself to continue.

"In a world ravaged by foal abuse, our only solace is pulling out?" Rainbow ended. "Yikes."

"I suppose I have finally succumb to this game's dirty nature." Rarity said, indicating that this was her card.

After some careful debating, Rainbow made her decision for the winner of this black card. "I think I'll go with with the 'Daring Do' and 'boring vaginal sex' card." Rainbow said. "Who had that one?"

"Of course you would go for that one, wouldn't ya, Rainbow Dash?" Applejack sighed.

Pinkie Pie gleefully leaned to her left towards Rainbow Dash, allowing the curls of her mane to snatch up the black card that Rainbow held in her hooves.

"I'll take that, thank you very much!" Pinkie exclaimed as she retreated back to her seat.

While the remaining friends busied themselves with picking up more white cards to balance out their deck, Fluttershy gently swiped a black card from one of the decks provided.

"Oh, boy. I suppose it's my turn again." The pegasus stated, sucking in a deep breath before beginning to announce what was written on the card. "Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned about blank and am now troubled with blank. May I have some advice?"

"Wow! More double trouble!" Pinkie shouted.

This card got Spike's attention as he finally began to speak up for the first time in a while. "Woah, Twilight! I think you should've gotten to read this card!" The drake stated as he laughed along with the rest of the friends.

"I don't know, Spike! With the stuff that Twilight's heard tonight, I think she finally would've broke if she had to read something like that!" Applejack added.

The group then began sorting through their respective decks of cards once again, trying their best to claim the black card at hoof and call themselves the Queen or King of this night of debauchery. After about a minute of waiting patiently, Fluttershy had all of the cards given to her and she began to read aloud.

"Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned about... big fat s-stallion meat and am now troubled with prematurely e-ejaculating like a total loser. May I have some advice?" Fluttershy struggled to say clearly.

As per usual, the group of friends combusted with combined laughter as Fluttershy attempted to get her barrings.

"Oh, boy." Fluttershy muttered. "This is going to be a lot of reading."

"Don't worry, darling. I have complete faith in you!" Rarity supported.

"Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned about the magic of friendship and am now troubled with mental illness. May I have some advice?" Fluttershy continued.

This submission had the friends turn their heads towards each other as they tried to make sense of the sentence that they just heard.

"I... am confused with how those two cards are connected." Twilight wondered.

"I've just tried to stop asking questions by now, Twi." Applejack responded.

As Twilight shrugged in acceptance, Fluttershy resumed her reading.

"Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned about politically empowered earth ponies and am now troubled with jobs. May I have some advice?"

Rainbow and Pinkie immediately began their giggling fits in response to the statement.

"Woah, woah!" Applejack demanded a pause. "Now jus' what in the hay is that supposed to mean?"

Her surrounding friends refused to respond to Applejack's question in fear of a good possible apple bucking to the muzzle. Deciding things may get hairy very soon, Fluttershy hastily moved onto the next submission for the turn.

"Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned about Saturday changeling 'feeding sessions' and am now troubled with doing the right thing. May I have some advice?" Fluttershy said, quicker than usual.

Pinkie Pie especially got quite a strong reaction from this one as she fell over onto her back laughing out loud. "I definitely think we know what that one means!" Pinkie shouted. This comment got everyone else's laughter engaged in the raunchy fun. After a few more seconds of laughter, Fluttershy continued her speaking.

"Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned about Mage Meadowbrook's cure for cancer and am now troubled with that bitch. May I have some advice?"

This submission revived the laughter instantly as the friends clutched their sides. Even Fluttershy had a difficult time keeping her breathing in check after what she just read aloud.

"Oh, Celestia! That is horrible! Twilight cried as she steadied her breathes.

"Then why are you laughing?" Rainbow replied, wiping a tear from her eye.

"I can't help it!"

"Then I suppose you could write that to Princess Celestia herself!" Rarity jokingly suggested.

"Spike!" Pinkie shouted. "You'd better start taking a note!"

Everyone laughed hysterically at Pinkie's suggestion. Unbeknownst to Twilight and everypony else, Spike was actually tempted to grab a quill and parchment behind Twilight's back.

"Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned about Viagra and am now having trouble with child support payments. May I have some advice?" Fluttershy continued, already breaking into a quiet giggling fit.

"Definitely not payments that I would wanna pay." Applejack chuckled.

The friends collectively laughed along with Applejack's comment.

"That was a good one!" Rainbow added, enthusiastically. "I'm surprised Fluttershy managed to get through all of those!"

"Which one do you think wins, Fluttershy?" Twilight asked.

Fluttershy allowed herself a good few moments to think on the decision, flipping through all of the submissions once again to help her choose.

"Oh, I'm not sure." Fluttershy debated. "They were all pretty funny." After a few more short moments of careful thinking, the pegasus came to her conclusion. "I think I'll go with Mage Meadowbrook's cure for cancer. Who had that one?"

To Fluttershy's right, Rainbow Dash triumphantly spread her wings in celebration for her point.

"This bitch!" Rainbow cockily announced.

Everyone around her giggled at Rainbow's suitably dirty use of language as the multicoloured pegasus gracefully accepted her second black card. As everyone took a moment to refill their decks, Applejack grabbed a black card from one of the two decks to begin her turn.

"Alright, y'all. Here goes." Applejack started. "I really hope my grandma doesn't ask me to explain blank again."

After Applejack was finished reading, she could tell by the snickering faces and muffled giggles around her that her friends were thinking of exactly what Applejack was thinking.

"Now y'all better get 'yer minds outta the gutter, 'ya hear?" Applejack demanded in a more serious, defensive tone. "My granny has nothin' to do with this rotten, horn-swogglin' shenanigans."

The laughter decreased a bit after Applejack's demand as the friends moved their attention to the decks in front of them.

"Whatever you say, AJ!" Pinkie teased.

After a few more moments of time, Applejack was given the amount of cards necessary and cautiously began reading aloud once again, obviously fearing for her dignity. "I really hope my grandma doesn't ask me to explain... gloryholes again." Applejack said in a monotone voice, clearly not impressed with the first submission.

The friends around her began rolling in an instant as laughter exploded across the room. While the friends laughed off their enjoyment, Spike was again tempted to tap Twilight on the shoulder so her could ask what in Equestria a gloryhole was, however, soon decided against compromising his position among the friends.

"Alright, get'cher laughs out now while the night's still young, you unripe, worm-infested horse apples..." Applejack attacked, mumbling out her words towards the end. Not even allowing her friends to finish their fits of laughter, Applejack interrupted them by continuing her reading, trying to get it done as soon as possible. "I really hope my grandma doesn't ask me to explain Cards Against Equestria again."

A few chuckles were heard in response to this card, contrary to the last one.

"Oh, yeah! That's definitely not something you'd want to be showing to Granny Smith, is it?" Rainbow directed towards her farm pony friend.

"I swear to Celestia, Rainbow! If you even think about spilling these beans, you won't hear the end of it!" Applejack threatened, quickly resuming her task at hoof while her friend laughed to herself. "I really hope my grandma doesn't ask me to explain the fat half of Princess Celestia again."

The laughter among the friends was quickly revived by this submission as even Applejack's mood was enlightened from her upset state.

"Which half are you planning to swear to, Applejack?" Rainbow continued to tease as Applejack decided to respond with a strong, playful eye-roll and a hearty brow-flex rather than heat up the argument.

"I really hope my grandma doesn't ask me to explain a mating display again." Applejack chuckled.

"Oh, my..." Fluttershy said, holding a hoof to her mouth to cover her grin.

"I'm sure everypony has been given the talk at least once in their childhood." Twilight said.

"Heck, I've given the talk before." Applejack added. Suddenly, the earth pony noticed that after that comment, the attention in the room was quickly, awkwardly shifted towards her direction. "What? Applebloom needs to know these things for when she begins to get involved."

Having their questions answered, the friends broke their collective attention towards Applejack.

"I really hope my grandma doesn't ask me to explain crippling debt again." Applejack continued, taking a second to absorb what she just read. "I think that's pretty genuine, actually."

"Yeah, let's never let that happen." Twilight agreed.

"And lastly, I really hope my grandma doesn't ask me to explain a world-ending parasprite infestation in which they eat you out." Applejack completed.

The group of seven paused in their actions right after they had heard the final answer.

"Pardon me?" Rarity asked rhetorically.

"Uhh..." Pinkie began. "Even I don't know how to respond to that one."

The friends responded with various mhms and nods as the ponies shifted uncomfortably in their seats. Wanting to break the unscheduled silence, Applejack began to decide the winner of the black card.

"Let's see..." Applejack began. "Who had crippling debt?"

Next to the earth pony, Twilight raised hoof to answer.

"I'm proud to say that I don't have any crippling debt but that is indeed my card." Twilight answered.

As the card was passed over to Twilight, everyone routinely began refilling their decks up again in preparation for the next turn. Twilight then picked up another black card for her turn as the Card Queen.

"Oh!" Twilight exclaimed. "This one is interesting. Razzle dazzle! Glitz and glam! Not just a pony, I'm blank!"

Her surrounding friends giggled at Twilight's impression of the famous pony singer as she tried to put the appropriate pitch and tone into her voice.

"Ooh! I have an idea!" Pinkie interjected. "You should totally sing out every card!"

The group soon nodded to Pinkie's suggestion, leaving Twilight's face a shade of magenta against her purple coat.

"Yeah! That would be awesome!" Rainbow added.

"I do think it would be quite entertaining!" Rarity complemented.

"I think you should do it!" Fluttershy cheered.

Hearing her friends' collective agreements, Twilight really had no choice but to succumb to the game.

"Okay, fine!" Twilight sighed. "I'll do it."

With her decision concluded, the group began enthusiastically shuffling through their cards for answers. After almost a minute, Twilight was given all of her friends' submissions and begun reading, or in this case, singing.

"Okay..." Twilight cleared her throat. "Razzle dazzle! Glitz and glam! Not just a pony, I'm pretending to care!"

The group began laughing even before the alicorn was finished her singing as they cheered her on with supporting snickers and snorts.

"Wow! You go, girl!" Pinkie shouted.

Taking her friends' support, Twilight began to awkwardly continue.

"Razzle dazzle! Glitz and glam! Not just a pony, I'm a fart!" Twilight vocalized.

The group laughed to the child-like humour as Twilight endured through her friends' enjoyment.

"Razzle dazzle! Glitz and glam! Not just a pony, I'm queefing!" Twilight solo'd yet again.

"That one actually sounded surprisingly on-beat!" Rarity mentioned.

Beginning to feel more comfortable with this routine, Twilight began a little more confidently.

"Razzle dazzle! Glitz and glam! Not just a pony, I'm... a brain tumour." Twilight attempted to recover after the unexpected pause. "Well, that's... not ideal."

"Believe me, I wish I had better cards." Applejack answered.

Deciding to move on quickly, Twilight began yet again.

"Razzle dazzle! Glitz and glam! Not just a pony, I'm a timberwolf's dried, green semen." Twilight resumed, not even attempting to recover that one towards the end. "Gross."

"You could say that again." Rainbow added.

"...And finally..." Twilight started. "Razzle dazzle! Glitz and glam! Not just a pony, I'm ghosts!"

“I can see it, I guess.” Pinkie said.

At last, Twilight had a few moments to catch her breath as she had finally finished her round of unorthodox singing.

"Finally!" Twilight panted tiredly. "Screw it! The pretending to care card wins, I don't even care!"

Rarity beamed in her good posture, levitating the card she earned rightfully into her hooves. After Twilight had steadied herself and everyone had given their decks a refuel, Spike grabbed a black card for his turn.

"Unicorn ponies like blank." Spike announced. "Oh, boy."

"You better be ready for this one, Spike!" Rainbow said.

"That's not what I'm afraid of..." Spike responded, glancing towards Rarity.

The unicorn to the drake's left took this chance to ease his blushing face.

"Don't worry, Spikey." Rarity began. "Remember, the game said it, not you."

Nodding in approval, Spike began to take in the cards that the friends around him started to give him. Rainbow Dash especially seemed to be taking her precious time, likely thinking of the perfect way to indirectly describe her unicorn friends. Once Spike got the final card from the group, he shuffled them and read.

"Unicorn ponies like a really cool hat." Spike began.

Rarity's finely trimmed eyebrows raised quickly to this unexpected card. "Oh! Well, that one wasn't so bad." Rarity sighed.

"I wouldn't count on it..." Spike cautioned, eyes already pasted on the next card. "Unicorn ponies like not reciprocating oral sex."

The friends had another round of laughter from this card. Rarity and Twilight, however, seemed less enthusiastic about the situation that their friends were currently snickering over.

"Why did I even bother speaking?" Rarity sighed, this time in defeat.

"Unicorn ponies like daddy." Spike continued.

Another few giggles were shared between the circle.

"Who's daddy are we talking about here?" Pinkie asked no one. "We talkin' about Hotty Hothoof, Condo Flanks, Bright Cock n' Boss, Black Light, or Big-Neous Cock?!"

After a couple awkward glances, the group exploded with laughter at Pinkie's random reaping of nicknames of her friends' various parents. For the first time of the night, even Spike had fallen onto his back trying to catch his breath.

"I didn't hear Fluttershy's dad in their, Pinkie!" Applejack said, laughing all the while.

Next to the farm pony, Fluttershy squeaked in protest to Applejack's comment. Luckily, Pinkie came back from laughter to save the pegasus.

"Mr. Shy?!" Pinkie shouted. "How can I work with that?! I mean, seriously! I bet the writer spent at least fifteen minutes trying to come up with some material for Mr. Shy!"

Contrary to Pinkie's last few comments, the friends only gave directed, confused stares at the pink pony. A good few moments were spent on various mixed umms and head-scratching. Not knowing how to respond to what Pinkie just said, Spike took it into his own claws to continue the game.

"Uhm..." Spike broke the silence. "Unicorn ponies like an older mare."

With the group's attention now integrating back to the previous task, some giggles were revived upon Spike's reading.

"Unicorn ponies like a silicone dragon tail." Spike blushed hard yet again, having some semblance of what the card meant. "I think I'm gonna avoid asking any questions about that one."

Next to the drake, Twilight nodded in approval. "That's a good choice."

"...And finally, unicorn ponies like scrotum bathing." Spike finished.

A quick second after Spike announced the last card, Rainbow Dash paused mid-sip of her cup of cocoa, nearly choking on the warm beverage. The pegasus tried to swallow her mouthful the fluid with haste while avoiding succumbing to her urge to laugh, little streams of hot cocoa trickling out of the sides of her mouth and down the sides of her face. As Rainbow struggled, her friends spent the few moments laughing both at the final submission and Rainbow's display.

"Ew!" Rarity shrieked at the card. "What can one possibly imply by that disgusting phrase?!"

"Are you sure you want to know that, Rarity?" Twilight questioned, silencing the gagging unicorn.

Once Rainbow was finally done her cocoa episode, Twilight wrapped her magic over a cloth from the snack table behind her and levitated it over to the pegasus, gesturing for her to clean up the spillage left on the carpet and her face. As Rainbow busied herself with that task, Spike decided to choose a winner.

"I've gotta pick the scrotum bathing!" Spike exclaimed. "That was hilarious!"

Immediately stopping her cleaning, Rainbow Dash threw herself and the cloth up in the air in celebration, indicating that it was her card.

"Yes!" Rainbow shouted, hovering in the air. "Scrotum bathing for the win!"

Rainbow quickly swiped the card from Spike's claws, soon returning to the ground and adding it to her points. After her outburst, Rainbow noticed Twilight eyeing her critically and raised her brow in question.

"What?" Rainbow asked.

"Aren't you going to finish something?" Twilight asked.

Rainbow followed Twilight's gaze up towards the ceiling, seeing the dirty cloth hanging over the ribbons and wreaths that decorated the railings above.

"Heh heh..." Rainbow chuckled, casually rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment. Rainbow was quick to appease Twilight, flying up to grab the cloth and continue her chore. While Rainbow busied herself, everyone else refilled their decks and Rarity levitated a black card towards herself to begin the last turn of the round.

"Oh, Celestia save me..." Rarity sighed, her eyes on the card before her. "What totally destroyed my asshole?"

The group of friends instantly broke out into laughter from the card.

"No way!" Rainbow shouted in excitement. "This is going to be awesome!"

Contrary to Rainbow, Rarity was completely drained of her excitement and clearly just wanted the round to be over so she could at least soon enact her revenge when it came to Rainbow's turn as the Card Queen.

"Don't worry, Rarity!" Pinkie empathized. "We know that you would never do anal to that degree!"

As the friends laughed with each other over Rarity's rather vulnerable predicament, cards began to get passed onto Rarity in order to carry on with the game. After a few more moments, Rarity had a small stack of her friends' cards and began to read.

"I'm going to suspend all of your discounts at all my shops after this..." Rarity glared, noticing her friends' snickering reactions. "What totally destroyed my asshole? Multiple stab wounds."

Light-hearted giggles resounded throughout the group from the first submission of Rarity's turn.

"Oh no! Hurry, we have to find Rarity's dirty perpetrator!" Pinkie shouted to the ceiling dramatically.

"What totally destroyed my asshole? Showing all the colts my pussy." Rarity exasperated.

This time, the group, excluding Rarity, exploded with laughter once again from the horrible statement.

"What the shit?!" Rainbow shouted.

"I suppose everypony's gotta find a way to make a livin' somehow." Applejack shrugged humourously.

"Okay! I get it!" Rarity interrupted, quickly moving onto the next card. "What totally destroyed my asshole? Magical enhancements."

Much to Rarity's pleasure, fewer reactions toward the unicorn were made from this card.

"That sounds like something you would do, Twilight!" Pinkie commented.

"It is not!" Twilight plead. "I'm... not into anal sex!"

Twilight quickly returned to the reality of her statement, realizing just what she had revealed. Already knowing that there was little way out of her embarrassing situation, she refused to make an effort to defend herself from her friends' incoming onslaught as they erupted with laughter.

"Wow! Who woulda thought?!" Pinkie Pie shouted. "The Princess of Friendship likes it missionary!”

"Don't worry, Twilight!" Rainbow snickered. "I'm sure you could learn a thing or two about anal in one of your books!"

"Is it one of Starswirl's famous spell books?" Applejack joined in.

While the friends gave Twilight the firm roasting, Fluttershy and Spike laughed along, choosing against contributing to the conversation at hoof. As the teasing began to ease, Rarity continued on towards the end of the round.

"As much as I would like to resume this verbal debauchery, I'm afraid I have to go to the little filly's room soon." Rarity admitted. "What totally destroyed my asshole? Interspecies marriage."

A few goods laughs were the group's response to this submission.

"I don't think I see myself marrying anypony else than my own species, thank you very much." Rarity claimed.

Next to the unicorn, Spike's current mouthful of cocoa was particularly tough to swallow, having just heard what his lifetime crush had just stated. Placing his cup down in a visibly defeated manner, he mentally reminded himself to lock his bedroom door when bedtime rolled around.

"What totally destroyed my asshole? Getting eaten out by a dog." Rarity shivered, being reminded of her experience with a specific trio of unmannered dogs. "Ew."

"You haven't seen anything like that happen before, have you, Fluttershy?" Applejack asked the quiet pegasus.

"I don't think so..." Fluttershy pondered.

"At last, what totally destroyed my asshole? T-three dicks at the same time!" Rarity shrieked.

The friends' uncontrolled laughter returned instantly, Applejack falling onto her stomach while Rainbow and Pinkie fell over each other. Even Twilight had recovered from her thorough verbal reaming and released a few giggles.

"Don't pretend like you're not into that, Rares!" Rainbow teased. "I'm sure you'd totally rock being sp-!"

"Okay! Enough! Showing the colts the pussy wins!" Rarity interjected.

"Whoo wee!" Applejack cheered, having now gotten her second point. "Finally! Let's get this show on the road!"

With the round finally over, the group began to get up from their seated positions to take a much needed break. Rarity was the first of the seven, quickly standing up on her hooves to trot down the hallway to the right of the foyer and to the washroom. Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Spike were next, all three standing to rush back to the kitchen to see who could get at the last of the cocoa. After them, Twilight stood up, offering a good stretch and hearing her bones and joints pop in response. Then, the alicorn began trotting over to the kitchen as well, encompassing a few near-empty bowls and plates from the snack table in her magic and bringing them with her.

"I'm going to go to the kitchen to refill some of the chips, popcorn, cookies, crackers, cheeses, punch..." Twilight said towards Fluttershy and Applejack who remained seated but paused midway through her sentence. "...Y'know? Now that I say that, maybe I did stock up on too many snacks..."

Fluttershy and Applejack giggled at Twilight’s characteristic habits of over preparation.

“I’m sure Pinkie and Rainbow would like that, Twilight.” Fluttershy responded in kind.

Twilight nodded in approval and continued trotting to the kitchen to forward her task. Now, it was just Fluttershy and Applejack left sitting in the foyer as they watched the alicorn turn the corner. Breaking the silence, Fluttershy broke out in a yawn and stretched her legs out.

“So, Applejack?” Fluttershy began, catching the farm pony’s attention. “I assume your Hearth’s Warming is going well?”

“It is now.” Applejack chuckled. “In all my years, and I’m sure in all of my granny’s years, I’ve never seen a game like this before!”

The two ponies shared a couple hearty laughs before a sudden startling crash interrupted the moment. Fluttershy and Applejack looked towards where they heard the cacophony of what sounded like various pots, pans and various other household items.

“Pinkie Pie! Be careful!” Twilight called from the kitchen.

“Sorry!” Pinkie responded brightly.

Applejack and Fluttershy glanced towards each other before turning their attention back towards the kitchen when they heard Rainbow yell out in shock. “By Celestia’s giant ass, what is all this, Twilight?!” Rainbow called. “Just how much food did you buy?!”

The two ponies still sitting could hear Twilight’s ughh crystal clear, even from the foyer. “I get it! I over prepared!” Twilight retorted.

Author's Note:

Finally! It's out! Holy shit it's been a busy month. I'm still gettin' used to inserting about an hour of story writing into my daily schedule and it's damn time consuming!

Feel free to leave any likes, comments, or follows. I reading comments! (It also makes the chapter worth the extra work.)

Comments

[canehdianbacon]

9472630
I’ll definitely consider that idea! It’s a pretty good suggestion!

Thanks again for the complements!

[WorldWalker128]

Now I'm hoping that the CAH producers make an official My Little Pony expansion to the game. I'd buy it just to see what they do with it, and boy is there PLENTY of materiel!

[canehdianbacon]

9620430
I actually have a fan-made spoof of CAH with pony stuff! I got it at a convention! I can’t get a friggin image of it on here tho.

[A Soul In Limbo]

I have a pony OC named Blacklight. He is the only character I have made so far that has established future children, even though he is about as far from a "Daddy" personality as a character can get. XD

[canehdianbacon]

10694306
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