I Am The... Hero!

by Chemtest

An Unexpected Visitor

I sit and sigh on my throne. It is sad that war has had to come to our lands, but I hope we can beat them back quickly and mercifully. Or at least, that’s what I was doing, then there was a bright flash of light and proofing noise. My guards immediately point all weapons towards the disturbance.

What stands there is an odd sight, to say the least. A demon, to put it simply. Humanoid, red, horns, forked tongue, and two arms in the air. The man smiles, and looks around, “Hey now, no need to be so aggressive. That’s supposed to be my job.”

I stand up, and walk down to the creature, “At ease, guards.”

They put down their weapons, and the thing takes out two glasses. He pours some drink into the two glasses, and picks one up, “Please allow me to introduce myself. I’m a man of wealth and taste.”

I slightly nod, “I am Emperor McBad.”

He takes a swig, and smiles, “Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name.”

I take in his appearance, “You look like a stereotypical demon.”

He shrugs, “Close enough. Names Pony Satan, call me Satan. I hear you are a friend of one of my mates, one by the name of Chem?”

I nod, “Yep, that Irish drunkard. So, he’s a friend of Satan. I have to admit I am not surprised.”

He leans on the table, “So, I was bored, and heard you were at war. That’s why I am here today.”

I take a seat, “Well, continue.”

He gladly takes a seat as well, “I am here to offer you the literal army of Tartarus. Say, I take on Hoofler’s armies.”

I lean back, “And what is the price?”

He thinks for a bit, “Well, Tartarus needs some friends. So, if we could join together, that’d be wonderful. Basically, I want to join the Revolutionaries Concordat. I would act as a first responder, being that Tartarus is a universal constant.”

I nod, “Well, if you wanted to join, you had just ask. So, you take Hoofler’s armies?”

He nods, “I have experience against his armor and weapons. You forget, I was there when people marched against the real Hitler. A large majority of my army are used to fighting against armor like his, being that they are from that war.” He takes another sip of his whiskey, “You said you could take the entire Yak capital with one squad. I want to see that. Then I will gladly join your war.”

I slightly nod, “So, you will join after we take out the Yak capital with the Cult?”

He smiles, “That is what I said, yes.”

I turn to face one of my guards, “Ready the Cult.”

The guard gets a look of apprehension on his face, “Including Pickins?”

I nod gravely, “He is our most powerful asset, and he is ready to move. Get him.”

The guard salutes, and moves off, “Yes Sir!”

I turn back to face Satan, “Get your armies ready then. The Yak capital shall be captured within two days.”

Satan smiles, and clacks his fingers together, “Oh, this will be fun to see.”

Comments

[Zapper Frost]

IT'S BAAACK!!!