• Published 31st Jul 2012
  • 6,468 Views, 218 Comments

Big Macilicious - Mitslits



Ever wonder what would happen if Big Mac turned into a girl?

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Settling In

As Red Gala trotted through the Ponyville marketplace, she began to realize the bad side of the spell. Jaws were dropping and eyes were popping open wide. Mares were fine, he was after all a stallion at heart, but getting that hungry look from colts... it was a little uncomfortable. Glancing nervously from side to side, she sought desperately for someone she knew that she could confide in. Her search grew more frantic as she spotted only lust filled eyes and leering smiles. Then, thanks be to Celestia, Gala spotted a certain purple dragon at the quill and ink shop.


Spike was carefully selecting Twilight's favorite brand of ink when he felt someone staring at him. Glancing behind him casually he noticed an amazingly beautiful red mare; her eyes bored into his. Collecting the correct ink and a couple of quills he walked slowly away, headed towards a secluded area. If this mare wanted him for something it probably shouldn't be done or said out in the open. It was a little unnerving, knowing that a stranger was following him, but he felt he could deal with a mare.


Red Gala tried to block out the stares she was getting from all angles as she trotted hurriedly after Spike. She fervently wished he would hurry up and get where he was going. She nearly sighed with relief as she noticed Spike turning down a narrower road that didn't seem to have much traffic.

As soon as his claws touched the shaded cobblestones in the alley, he spun around. "Why are you following me? Not that I mind", he said, blushing.

"Spike, it's me! Big Macintosh!" Red Gala said, immediately cursing herself. Oh, that was a great way to prepare him for it.

Spike could hardly stop himself from bursting out into laughter. "Oh, please. Who put you up to this prank? Was it Twilight? Or Rainbow Dash? It was Rainbow Dash wasn't it?"

Gala tried to subdue a mounting panic. It wasn't that bad. There were coltcuddlers out there and they did just fine. Taking a deep breath, she spoke again. "No, it's not a prank. Well, it is, but not mine. It's Applejack's. She thought it would be funny ta turn me into a mare. Ah thought so at first too, but now colts are starting ta look at me funny."

Something in her eyes convinced Spike that this might indeed be the truth. But he still crossed his arms and looked at her skeptically.

"When Discord came, I acted like a dog. An' Apple Bloom tried ta set me up with Cheerilee with a love potion once", Red Gala said.

Spike was convinced now and he had to hold back laughter once more. He was also a little shocked, but amusement was chiefly on his mind. "Okay, so you're a mare now. What do you want me to do about it?"

Gala was taken aback. What did she want Spike to do? She hadn't thought this far ahead. "Ah want you ta get Twilight. She did the spell; maybe she can turn me back. Meanwhile, Ah've gotta hide. Bring Twi to...to..."

"Fluttershy's cottage?" Spike suggested. It was nice and secluded.

Red Gala nodded eagerly. "Great. Try for half an hour." With that, she turned and galloped down the alley.

The tiny dragon clutched the quills and ink closer to his chest, turned, and ran as fast as his stumpy little legs would take him. But as he came out of the alley, he was immediately engulfed by a veritable sea of ponies. "Excuse me... I'm walkin' here!" He started to elbow his way through the crowd. What was going on anyway? Then it hit him. Elbows working like pistons, his journey through the crowd got more frantic. This wouldn't turn out well.


Red Gala was running into the same problem on her end of the alley. Ponies filled every available space. And Gala knew why. The Royals came down every April Foal's Day for a parade. Luna, Celestia, and Blueblood. Oh, this was perfect. And it got better. The royal float came trundling down the street. Red Gala tried to retreat, hoping fervently that Blueblood wouldn't see her. But luck was not to be with her.

"Stop! Stop this float!" Blueblood's voice rang out.

Spike eventually made it to the library, sweating, huffing, and puffing. He swung the door open to reveal an empty library. "Oh great. They could be anywhere."

The two mares in question were frantically searching the crowd for a crimson mare, with no luck. "Oh great", Twilight muttered as they came upon a whole new street filled with ponies. "She could be anywhere."