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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well, that whole chapter with Moonlight, awesome I suppose. You could have made her into a reoccurring villain, really, and I honestly think it's a waste of a good plot not making her a villain for a little longer, but still, the entire ending of the chapter made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Also, the appearance of the Tantalus? Unexpected, and maybe needed a bit more build up but badass nonetheless.
But all in all, could have been done much better.
9263744 Well, the plot's not quite over yet, right now they've gotten through to her but there are still challenges left.
9263748
Yeah, but I gotta say, not your best work really. I know you can do better than this chapter, I've seen it.
Huh love it