Smooth Criminal

by dudenotactive

Night Two in Ponyland

Dash quietly stare at the soda can that she was holding, the cold tin surface chilled her hooves but not enough to be a danger.

“Are you alright Rainbow Dash?” Her head quickly looks up to find golden eyes staring into her’s, well one eye was, the other was more interested on something else.

“Gah!” She recoils back away from the pair of eyes, now that she was distant from them she found out that it belongs to the local mailmare. “Derpy!?”

“Did I scare you? Sorry Rainbow Dash.” The grey mare sits down on the floor. “Is Time Turner here?”

Dash returns to her seat and took a sip from her soda can. “He’s down in the basement.”

Derpy nodded before taking a seat next to Dash. The two sat silently for a few minutes, with the sound of Dash sipping from her soda. Another minute passes, it was starting to get irritating. Rainbow tried to keep her mind off it by looking out the window to see if anything interesting is there, she saw only darkness indicating night time, but she didn’t need to look out the window to know because there was a digital clock on a table nearby.

“So...” Derpy breaks the silence. “What’cha doin’ here Rainbow Dash?”

“Dash is fine, and as for why, Doc’ found me by the train tracks and decided to help me and thanks to him my wing is fine, though it still need time to heal.” Dash finishes her explanation and took a sip from her soda.

“Why aren’t you the hospital then? Or do you want to be here?” The blue mare chokes back her drink. “A-are you okay!?”

“Im fine!” Dash quickly regains her composure “See?”

“Alright...”

“As for why I’m here? Because uhh... Hospital food! Yeah that’s right, hospital food doesn’t taste good and I rather spend a few days here than there.”

“Guess that does sound like a great idea, I for one hate hospital food.” Dash nodded, but soon realized that the origin of the voice did not belong to derpy, right in front of them was Lyra with Bon Bon. “Right Bon Bon? Home meals are way better!”

Bon Bon rolls her eyes at the unicorn. “You would think that wouldn’t you Lyra?”

“Excuse me but, why are you all here? Not to be rude but just curious.” Said Dash.

Instead of anyone in the room a different voice spoke. “Well it’s game night and we’re holding it in Doc’s house!” Just entering was both Vinyl and Octavia. “This her?” She whispers to the cellist, and recieves a nod.

“Game night?”

Lyra nods enthusiastically. “Yeah! We play all sort of games like Ogres and Oubliettes, or strip poker! Even though we are mostly naked all the time...”

“Vinyl’s ideas aren’t really that interesting anyways.” Time Turner’s voice joins in the group’s conversation. He had also recieved a ‘Hey!’ from the dj pony.

“Hello Doctor, a pleasant evening isn’t it?” Octavia greets the stallion.

“It is as lovely as princess Luna herself.”

“So what game should we play today?” Lyra excitedly waits for him to answer.

“Well...”

---

Torchwick and Jolly laughs as they read the newspaper that was published just hours ago in Scarlet’s nightclub. He couldn’t believe at how ridiculous it was. Roman flew from his pursuers and they couldn’t catch him without a pegasus’ help, and he escaped them so easily.

“I knew ye were trouble!” Jolly said as he pats the criminal on the back. “Guess we’re gonna see more of ya’ in the papers!”

Scarlet rolled her eyes. “But did anyone see you come in here?”

“Of course not miss Arrow, I wouldn’t want to compromise my hideout.” Torchwick assured her. “But I’m not here to laze around, I just came back to inform you of my first job in Canterlot.”

The mare nodded, Roman takes out his scroll and showed her a picture of another nightclub. “The name of the club is ‘The Cherry’, it is owned by Sweet Cherry. She is a wealthy mare who owns six restaurants around the nightclub.” She looks up at the thief. “You plannin’ to rob her?”

“I wanna start big, and I want my name plastered in every tabloid!” Roman laughs and Jolly joined him.

After the laughter died down, Scarlet spoke. “Careful Torchwick, that place has her personal guards watching it. But I don’t know why.”

“Because she’s hiding somehing in there, and what ever it is, it’s mine.” He declaires to the both of them.

“Whatever it is, I might know a few ponies who would gladly help us.”

“Wait boy!” Jolly called out to him. “I manage to make three bullets for you to use, why don’t ya’ try em out? I even took the liberty to make some rubber bullets just in case ye felt merciful.” He levitated the objects to him, and with a smirk Roman gladly took it.

Torchwick hops off the stool and began walking towards the exit. “I’ll be back when ever I can, so don’t wait up for me!” He called out as he exit the building.

Roman silently makes his way through the streets, walking on his hind legs and twirling his cane in his hoof. Catching a few stares, but he ignores them, though he was in the papers none seems to recognize him. It was getting dark and the stores around that weren’t open at night closes. He reaches a familiar pizza parlor, as much as it was tempting, he needed to focus right now. It’s not like he could slip up, he just wanted the whole heist to go smoothly.

After walking for minutes, he had finally reached the nightclub. At the entrance were stallions in black shirts presumably were the bouncers, with a long line of ponies by the walls. He went back on all fours with his cane in his wing and strides up to the bouncers and gave them a smirk. Thanks to how great he dressed himself, they both part and allowed Torchwick entry.

Inside was a bustling picture, as ponies drink and danced to the music. Roman scanned the room and noticed a few ponies in suits were standing by the walls and watched the crowd of ponies. He moves over to the club’s bar and sat on one of the stools.

“Bartender, your stongest drink please!” He rquested, and the unicorn stallion pulled out a bottle named ‘Tears of the Queen’ and pours into a glass with two cubes of ice, before handing it over to the pegasus. Roman took a sip and savours the taste of the drink, it was slightly bitter but he didn’t mind, and as much as he wanted to finish it he still had work to do. “This is great! When I get the chance, I’m buying a bottle.” He said as he places his cigar on an ash tray and setting the glass aside.

“Glad you enjoyed yourself sir, the bottle came straight from the same place where the minotaurs live. They made an astounding drink yet, worth every last bit.”

“Could you tell me how much does a bottle cause?”

“Three... no... 6k for a bottle and there are a total of fifteen bottles from one crate.”

The ears in his bowler hat twitches with interest. “But surely a drink as fine as this is better off displayed than to be sold.”

“Well yeah, boss only wanted to buy a single bottle but she accidently bought a whole crate of them. So here we are.” This was an important detail, if she manage to buy a crate

Roman looks around as if he just noticed something. “Say, why are there so many guys in suit watching the club?” He questioned.

“Well last year, a dj from Ponyville started a fight with one of the patrons, it didn’t end well.”

“One more question.” Roman took another sip. “Is the owner of this place here?”

The bartender nodded trustingly. “She went up to her office on the second floor.”

Roman nodded. “I see...” He gets off the stool, “I’ll be right back.” he told the stallion and left to start working.

First he needed is to take out the gaurds who got eyes on his path to the office, then he would need to get whatever is in there before the rest could find out.

His first target was a stallion who was busy with straightening his tie near the comfort room than to notice the approaching danger, when he finally fixed his problem, it was far too late for Roman had deliver a hoof chop on the back of his neck. Roman then moves the body to lean on the wall as if he was just relaxing there, thank goodness it looked convincing, aside from his eyes being closed, who would even notice.

Roman stalked and snuck behind a guard that had a view of the others and placed a hoof over his mouth pulling him into the shadows. From the darkness he started running towards a mare in a suit, she turn to notice him and was about to call out but it was too late as Roman slammed his hoof on her face, the muffled noise of the mare was completely masked by the loud blarring music as she falls onto the floor. He went into a hallway where two guards by the stairs leading to the second floor.

He casually walks over catching the attention of the club guards. “Excuse me sir, but you shouldn’t be here.” One warned him as the other crosses their forelegs. Wasting no time, Torchwick swung his cane on the guard and kicking the other right on the face holding them against the wall. He lets the guard go and Torchwick watches as the they slid down being unconsious against the wall.

He made his way up the stairs and found more guards at least 6 of them, they noticed him and took his pressence in hostility. Roman barrels towards them, when he was close enough he spins on his heel and bashes one with his cane. He jabs the other right on the throat and swatted another with his weapon knocking them out. One guard tried to stomp his hooves at Torchwick, but was thrown away by an uppercut from Roman.

Another guard pulled out a dagger and held it in her mouth, she swung her blade and it colided with the cane, she took another swing at him but the criminal parried the dagger away sending it into a wall. With no weapon to defend herself, Torchwick punches her in the face and she slumps down to the floor. The last one rushes towards him, and with a grin, Torchwick caught the guard’s head with his hoof and slammed them into the wall knocking out the guard.

Satisfied that he took care of the club guards that were watching the hallway, he lights up a cigar and marches over to a door that had the name ‘Sweet Cherry’. He kicks the door open and found the mare lying on her back against the desk with a stallion straddled over her.

They both stop as the door slammed onto the wall as it opens and turn to look at the intruder, it was Roman Torchwick from the newspapers. Frozen, they watch Torchwick strides over to a chair where he sat down on. “Oh don’t stop on my account, go on...” The stallion quickly got off of her and tried to run away, but Roman hooked his cane around their neck and pulled him back right into the desk, and with enough force the stallion was out cold. “A gentleman would never ditch a lady behind, guess he is more of a coward than I thought.

Sweet Cherry scrambles onto the floor and backs up against the wall. Torchwick eyed the white coated and pjnk maned mare. “P-please, don’t hurt me!” She pleaded with him.

He chuckles lightly. “I’m not here to hurt you, I just wanted something from you.”

“What do you want!?”

Roman pointed to a portrait of an old mare. “I want whatever is inside that safe.”

Her eyes widens and she crawls up to him. “D-don’t be silly, theres no safe there!” Cherry tried to convince him, but Roman knew better.

Torchwick took off his hat and threw it at the painting, it bounces off and back to his hoof while the portrait falls over revealing a safe. Roman didn’t even need to get off the chair to find out a safe was there. Then she started crying, “Please don’t take it! I-its the only thing I have left from my mother!” she begged him as she held her hooves on his knees.

“Open it.” He demanded from the mare, but she only shook her head no, tears still falling from her eyes.

Torchwick pushes her off and walks over to the safe, with his cane raised towards it. It was time for him to test the ‘jolly bullets’, pulling the trigger, a red flare exits the end of the cane with a sharp whistle and landed next the safe with a loud explosion, the nightclub shooked. Roman was satisfied with how the test go, he inspected the damage he had made. The door of the safe was hanging open while there was a large hole next to the metal box.

He peeks in excitedly like a young boy waking up on christmas day. “HUH!?” But to his own disappointment, the safe was empty aside from a piece of note. Before he could even curse the stars, a pillow bounces on his head and lands on the floor.

He slowly turn his head and glared at the mare. “Leave now or... or...” She stammers as she tried to think of a threat while crying.

“Or what?” He calmly questioned her.

She colapses back onto the ground crying helplessly. “Please, I’ll do anything! Just don’t take it!” She pleaded once more. “I-I can make you a rich pony!” He wasn’t amused. “I...” With no option left she cried onto her hooves.

“It’s empty anyways!”

She quickly looks up, face stained wih tears. “W-wha?!”

Roman then reaches in and pick up the piece of paper before reading it loudly.

Dear Sweet Cherry,
I regret to inform you that your precious blue diamond has been confiscated
for research purposes, such as my personal objectives that shall not be named.
Please understand that I did not commit this crime for riches, or personal grudges.
You were just another name that came onto my list and now you have been crossed out.
So please forgive me.

From C.T.

“You have got to be kidding me!” A vain on Roman’s head felt like it was about to pop. “Someone had already got here before me!”

“The... diamond...” Sweet cherry spoke before bawling herself away, she colapses on the floor and moans in anguish for losing the one thing that was important to her.

This was also terrible for Roman, no reward for his efforts.

And with that, he casually strided out the door leaving the crying mare to herself. He closed the door as he exits the room and was met with a group of guards who just arrived. They witness what happened to club guards that encountered him before and were slightly doubtful if they could stand against him.

Roman was not interested so he lifts his cane and fired another round into the ground, the guard jumps back at what they just witnessed, a hole that was large enough for a pony to go through. And that was what Roman did, he jumped into the hole and landed on the dance floor as a few regular ponies kept their distance, their emotions were both surprised and worried which soon turned to fear as they recognize who he was.

“It’s Roman Torchwick!” Said a mare in the crowd.

“Take my bits, don’t hurt me please!” A stallion threw a pouch filled with bits infront of Roman who gladly took the offering.

“Somepony get the royal guards!” Another stallion requested.

“I have no idea who he is but I’m still scared!” One stallion cowers under his hooves.

“I don’t wanna feel pain! Pain is bad!” A mare ran away from the nightclub.

Roman looks around with a grin, guess there is some reward. “People of Canterlot! Surrender your bits like that fine fellow over there,” He pointed to the stallion who wanted to be spared earlier. “and give me your money so no one has to get hurt!” Ponies started to toss pouches of bits onto the floor and Roman gathered them up.

Leaving a few sacks since he shouldn’t carry too much, a total of ten pouches, he runs towards the doors reaching it just in time as the club guards finally got to the first floor. Roman tumbles out the door and then runs into a random direction leaving a few ponies and the bouncers confused.

Roman manages to get far enough and hides in an alley where he giggles like a school girl. He had just made his second work in Equestria and he bets his life that it would make him know. But he stops as soon as he noticed something odd. His head slowly looks up and he marveled at the sight in the sky. Roman never thought of looking up the stars before and he never thought to look at the moon in this world. He was mesmerized at it, the moon was whole.

Roman wanted to bask longer at the light it made, but he still needed to get back to the nightclub.

After moving in the street unnoticed, he arrived at the ‘Scarlet’s Paradise’ and found only a blue mare in a hat and blanket sboth colored purple sleeping outside clutching a sign that said ‘close’, there was even an empty botle next to her.

Ignoring the mare, even though he had a few questions about it, Roman went inside double checking if anyone saw him. Inside the nightclub was Jolly and Scarlet herself. Both were waiting for him patiently.

“You’re earlier than I thought!” Scarlet cuts the silence.

“So lad, how did it go?” Jolly Hammer asked the pegasus.

Smirking, Roman took out a single pouch and drops it onto he bar counter. “I don’t know, you tell me.” He said before showing the rest of his bounties.

“HAHA! I knew ye would be trouble!” The large unicorn laughs.

Scarlet swipes three pouch and counted it’s ammount before hiding it under the counter. “That’ll last you two months, I expect you to bring more.”

Roman nodded to the red mare. “This night wasn’t a total blunder.”

The blacksmith picks up three pouches as well before leaning closer to Roman. “So lad, how were ye new bullets?”

“They were just right.”

---

Meanwhile at Ponyville

“And turns out he was at Canterlot! He lied to me!” Rainbow Dash complains as she drank more soda. With, was of course, Time Turner since it was his home, along with Derpy, Lyra, Bon Bon, Vinyl and Octavia. It was a scheduled game night and it was being hosted in the Doctor’s home, which sadly has a rainbow headed mare.

“Man he should get eaten alive.” Vinyl gave out her opinion.

“Vinyl! That is not very nice thing to say.” Octavia scolded her roommate.

The white unicorn only shrugged. “Maybe we should teach him a lesson!” Lyra suggested accompanied with a ‘YEAH’ from Dash and Vinyl, Octavia only rolled her eyes.

“Maybe!” Time Turner chimed in. “Just a thought everypony. Just a thought. Maybe we should... you know... play the game?” He gestured towards the game of monoply. Which he was losing. He was too poor to buy a land and most of it were owned by Derpy. He was running the risk of bankruptcy. Time Turner proceeds to roll a dice which made him count up to a chance card. “Oh no! ‘You have elected chairman of the board. Pay each player $50 each’!” He looks down and found he only had $125. He loses all of his money as he gave it away.

Time Turner grumbles to himself as the mares continues the game. “Sure am glad you lost Doc’.” Said Vinyl as she got passed the start tile and colected more money.

“He’s never that good in boardgames, yet he is good enough to teach us everything!” Lyra spoke before landing on a ‘Go Straight to Jail’ tile. “Drats!”

Dash cocks her eyebrow. “Teach you what?” She questioned.

Lyra spotted her mistake and started to think of an excuse. “Just a few things.” Octavia asssited Lyra. “Like self defence, who knows what could happen!” The musician said proudly.

Dash nodded accepting the answer. Just then, Pinkie Pie bursts through the door and twirls two times in the air before landing perfectly on the tip of her hooves, a single dice even fell from her mane and onto the board. “Six!” She said before moving a piece that was never there before onto an unowned lot.

“Pinkie!?” Said mare turned to Dash with a wide smile.

Before anyone could continiue, another voice spoke up. “Not just her dear!” From the open doorway was the fashonista herself, Rarity.

“Hey Rarity, what’s up?”

The unicorn places a hoof on her forehead as if she was in distress. “Oh it is terrible Rainbow Dash! Simply terrible!”

The pegasus’ mind quickly clicks knowing too well. “What did he do this time!?” Dash stood on her hooves.

“That dreadful, yet stylish, hooligan had stolen a mare’s valuable daimond!” Rarity informed the pegasus.

“And he robbed from the innocent bystanders! What a meanie.” Pinkie Pie added.

Rarity nodded. “And Twilight is planning to leave for Canterlot right before dawn. A bit too early don’t you think Dash?”

Dash hops right next to her. “I’m going too!”

“But Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie tackles the cyan pegasus. “Your wing is still healing!”

Dash struggles below her, the pink mare seemed to have gained some weight. “I can still fight!” She pushed Pinkie aside before standing right up. “You think this broken wing can slow me down? Hah!”

“If we cannot stop you, very well then Dash.” Rarity finally agrees to let her join. “But you still have the others to convince.”

“And we can help!” Lyra jumps onto her hind hooves with her fore hoof raised in the air.

Rarity shook her head. “Afraid not darling. This might be dangerous for the rest of you and we don’t want anything to happen to anypony.”

This time, Vinyl slams her hoof onto the table causing the game pieces to fall over. “But we can help!”

Before any mare got a word in, Time Turner speaks up. “Now now girls. Let the Elements handle this, they have seen and fought many troubles in their life since Nightmare Moon.” He nodded to Rainbow Dash. “All I ask is to take care of yourself.”

Dash blushed slightly before nodding back. “You wont have to worry about us Doc’. Come on girls!” She quickly runs through the door leaving the rest before Pinkie and Rarity followed.

“But doc’!” The white unicorn said as she glared at the stallion. “We can help, so why aren’t we!?”

“Because Vinyl, I’m still busy.” He answered as he drinks from a mug.