Smooth Criminal

by dudenotactive

What He Does Best

“NEO!!!”

Roman Torchwick finds himself glaring at the color red on the atlesian airship, his knuckles whitened under his glove as he clenched his fist tighter around his cane, how did it come to this. He was at the top of it all watching the chaos brewing down below as grimms spreads like wild fire causing the public to scatter, he would have enjoyed the show too if it wasn’t for the red hooded girl ruining it all. She had to stick her nose at everything he do, ever since his first encounter with her in that dust shop she just kept showing up and being a complete thorn on his side.

The girl stood no chance against both him and Neo, his trusted companion, but taking her out of the picture was useless. “I don’t care what you say! We will stop them and I will stop you! BET ON THAT!” She shouts with that irritating voice of hers before using her semblance to cover the distance between them, how cute, she was quick but he was quicker. Holding his cane in both his hands with Roman’s left at the end barrel and his right pulling the trigger only to catch the burning red bullet with the handle hurling it towards the girl halting her attempt to strike knocking her away. Before she could stand properly, Roman, swung his cane up then ramming the end of his cane into her stomach pulling the trigger blasting her even further away.

“You got spirit, Red. But this is the real world!” Roman hits her with the end of his cane sending her a few feet back onto the ground. “The real world is cold!” He swung his cane hitting striking her on the floor of the airship, “The real world doesn’t care about spirit!” he raised his weapon above his but, Red kicks his knee throwing him unbalanced. “You wanna be a hero!?” He stands back up, “Then play the part and die like every other hunstman in history!” hitting her again with handle of his cane.

Roman has the upper hand and it seems that, Red can’t get her footing right, “As for me, I’ll do what I do best: lie, steal, cheat!” this was it, the moment where he rid himself of a nuisance in the color shade of red. He raises his cane with a smile on his face, “and SURVI-” he couldn’t even finish his words as he was envelope in darkness.

And that was it, Roman Torchwick the crime boss of Vale, eaten by a grimm. Maybe he shouldn’t have taken so long just to deliver an evil monologue to his would be arch nemesis, it was good too. But now that he thinks of it, no one but Red have had heard it, unless you count the grimms. So here he was in complete darkness.

“Hello!?” He calls out to nothing. If Roman had to guess this place is some kind of hell, not really what he expected, the silence was really starting to annoy him. When he was about to scream just to fill the void with sound, he drops onto the ground making a loud flop, groaning from the sudden fall he stood up dusting himself. “Well, now what?” He asked himself.

Looking around he only sees nothing but the abyss until he spotted a small light in the distance, deciding nowhere else to go he started to walk in the direction of the light. After some time he found the source, it was a screen door shining blindingly making him squint his eyes just to see the shape of it, pushing it lightly the door itself snaps open with an invisible force pulling him into the light before he could make any sound at all.

---

“Hey, you should wake up.” A femimine voice that was oddly familiar, sounds like a young girl that really reminds him of... RED!!!

Roman’s eyes snaps open, his body shoots up back flipping into a defensive stance, only to loose balance and falling onto his stomach. He grunts in pain as he lifts his head to look for the girl who told him to wake up finding his cane a few feet away and nothing else, he was alone in the middle of a grassy field. So where did that voice come from?

On the plus side, he was no longer in the dark abyss. He stood back up still a bit unbalanced swaying side to side walking over to his cane like some drunkard, but soon he manage to walk normally as his body adjusts. As he got in arms reach with his cane he bends over to reach only to freeze just as his hand or the non-existent hand touches his cane, pulling his limb up to his face to reveal a white hoof he gasps as he pulls his other limb to find the same state. He dug through his jacket taking out his mirror and examined himself, he was a white donkey of some kind, checking himself even more he only wore his jacket as mentioned earlier, his lower arm or foreleg was wrapped in a black cloth held together by two straps with his white hooves peeking out. His hat was still on his head and his grey scarf around his neck.

He had no words, the wind was the only sound that plays in the empty field, finally he gathered himself together and spoke.

“What the hell.” He then proceeds to fall back on the dirt with his face staring at the sky. “Great, guess this is hell. For all my crimes, they see it fit for them to turn me into some kind of donkey.” He had no idea how long he had laid there, the clouds seemed as if they did not move at all which was strange, but still he didn’t feel like moving at all.

“You okay there buddy?” A voice cuts the silence and a blue mare with rainbow hair and magenta eyes staring at his green ones.

Roman eyes widen, rolls on the ground retrieving his cane as he shot up into his battle stance facing her with his weapon high above his head. Though, he did not know how he was holding his cane and not falling out of his hoof. Sensing the hostility the unknown mare raises her hooves in a mock surrender,“Woah dude, I’m not here to hurt you, just curious why you’re out here.” she sees him raise a brow.

“Who are you?” Not letting his guard down, who knows what this strangely colored donkey could do.

“You don’t know who I am?” She asked as if she was insulted, “Hello!? I’m the Rainbow Dash,” silence, “Element of Loyaty?” more silence, “Hero of Equestria?” he smirks at the word ‘hero’. “Doesn’t it ring any bell? Me and my friends practically saved everypony from everything that’s evil!”

Roman puts his cane down supporting him as he stood on his hind legs, “Honestly, ‘Dashie’, I couldn’t care less of who saved ‘Equestria’. All that matters to me is business, and right now I am a bit lost.” he chuckles lightly. “But where are my manners,” He took off his hat in his left hoof, even though he still doesn’t know how, he bows. “Roman Torchwick, soon to be famous, and soon to be hated.”

She tilts her head to side observing the dressed pony in front of her, “Soon to be hated? That’s a weird way for a pony to introduce themselves.” did she say ‘pony’? So he’s not a donkey, what a relief. “Well to be honest, when you said you didn’t care I kinda hated you a bit, so you have that going on.”

Placing his hat back on, Roman leans back on his cane with a smirk on his face, “Oh Dashie, being hated on is just a part of my ‘business’ and people don’t appreciate that.”

As if he wasn’t strange enough, the word ‘people’ isn’t really something she had heard before, adding more points to the board of ‘Weirdness’. “What kind of business are we even talking about here?” She asks but shook her head, “Never mind, probably boring anyways. Why don’t we just talk about me here?” she suggested a ‘better’ subject for the conversation.

“Yes we should, I want to learn more about you and your amazing achievements.” He nods.

She beams up in excitement, “R-really!?”

“No.” He says blatantly.

Rainbow Dash was glaring daggers at him, “Something tells me that I’m hating you so much already.”

Roman laughs loudly in the open field with an irritated mare,“But seriously, do you know the closes town? I am a bit lost”

Rainbow Dash didn’t want to help at all but she will anyways, pointing in a direction with a smirk, “Ponyville is just a few miles away. How about a race?” her wings opens challenging the stallion.

Wait, she has wings? “Race?” Roman asks her as he looks behind himself to find a pair of white wings folded on his back, like a newborn, he streches his wings for the first time makng a few pops as if he had never used them... oh wait. He started to flap his wings slowly before increasing his speed making hover above the ground, he chuckles to himself with the newfound skill, looking straight up at the sky he shoots into the air like a bullet holding his cane tightly in his forelegs, his chuckle turning into a full hearted laugh. “Hahaha! This is amazing!”

As for Rainbow Dash, she only watches him fly around the air, “Are we doing this or not!?” she calls out to him. “It’s like you never flew at all!”

Roman landed right next to her, his cane over his shoulder. “Let’s just say that I haven’t had wings before.”

“You serious? Let me guess, some unicorn tried a spell on you?”

Taking advantage he nodded, “An old friend of mine didn’t really read the warning labels.” he added before standing on his hind legs and planting the cane firmly on the ground facing the direction of Ponyville. “But enough about that, let’s just start this race!” He says as he was eager to see himself on his full potential.

Rainbow Dash only grins, “You think you can win buddy?” she took her stance ready for flight. “On my mark, Ready!?” Roman matches her grin chuckling, “Set!” he hops onto his cane making it tilt slightly forward his hooves still holding the handle, Rainbow Dash gave him a strange look. “GO!”

Before she could move a loud thundering noise filled the air making her jump in fear, looking back at where her opponent was she found a smoking crater, then she looks forward to find him already flying in the distance. Glaring at his direction she dashes after him flying in an insane speed, as for Roman, he already covered so much ground with everything becoming a blur as he flew, its a wonder how his hat is still on his head.

Looking back he saw a familiar multi colored haired mare gaining on him very quickly, in matter of seconds she was already right next to him, then she quickly got ahead of the stallion. Seeing that he was absolutely losing he beats his wings even harder reaching only the tip of her tail, but the mare was faster than him and he could only watch as she was now too far for him to catch up.

Rainbow Dash landed on her hooves at the outskirts of Ponyville, she turns back to her opponent with a cocky grin watching him catch up seconds later only to crash on the ground digging the dirt a few feet away from her with some kind of glass slab coming out of him due to the landing. Gasping, she rushes over to the downed stallion, “Hey, you okay!?” she asks with slight concern.

Pulling himself out of the ground coughing loudly, he turns and brush the dirt off his mane and clothes, “Just great, Dashie, just great.” he turns towards the town and back to her. “So this is Ponyville?” Noticing the object on the ground he went over to it.

She nodded confirming his question, “Yup, home of the elements of Harmony! If you like excitement in your life, this place is perfect, especially with me around!”

Roman had already picked his belonging off the ground, with his zippo lighter in his hoof he lit the cigar in his mouth, “You know,” snapping his lighter close before putting it into his jacket, “That was amazing back there, how fast you went.” blowing a puff of smoke into the air.

Rainbow Dash backs away slightly due to the smell of his cigar. “Oh thanks, I am the fastest flier in Equestria.”

“Thats right, and I could use someone with a talent like yours, for my business.” He offered her. “It will pay good.”

She shook her head no, “Nah, I already got a job. So thanks anyways.”

He nods his head, “I understand.”

Then her mind went back on something at the start of the race. “That crater back there... how did you do that? The explosion I mean.”

“Just a few tricks I have, with many more.” He gave her a wink, or blink since only one eye was visible. “You should be on your way now, I can take care of myself here.”

“Alright! See you later Roman!” Waving good bye, she dashes off making a rainbow trail behind her leaving Roman to his own thoughts. “What a weird pony.” She thought to herself as she goes back at what she was doing.

Turning towards the town he grins wildly, “Look out Equestria, Roman Torchwick is in town!” he laughs to himself as he walks into Ponyville with his hind legs and cane in hoof.

Comments

[TheArquius]

Very nice 👌

[Starlight Nova]

This story had better not die after only one chapter!

[dudenotactive]

9060848
I promise you sir, more will come, but this was only to see if it will do well.

[ZEpicBrony]

Great story and looking forward to future chapters. Love RWBY and MLP so why not right?

[darktempest]

Something tells me that this story is going to make me pee myself from laughter