The Mane Six Lose Their Collective Shit - A Crackfic

by RejectOwl

Dash's disasterous defeat

"Blowing things up? Poison? Pitfalls? Come on guys, those are terrible." Rainbow said laughing. "Funny, but terrible."

"At least it'll take them awhile to rebuild the throne room." Rarity said.

"Oh no! How ever will Celestia cope without a freaking throne! Oh woe is Celestia, she can't sit her big fat sunbutt down!" Rainbow exclaimed dramatically. "Pinkie got really lucky with Luna as Twilight has already established. So pitfalls are out."

"Might have used up all her luck for the next six years." Twilight added.

"Why don't I suggest a race and then do a sonic rainboom right in front of her, she might explode!" Rainbow exclaimed happily.

"Have you ever exploded?" Twilight rolled her eyes.

"No, but that's cuz I actually did it! For all we know ponies caught in the blast would blow up."

"I don't believe an explosion will work darling." Rarity said pouting.

"Just because yours didn't work?" Rainbow teased.

"No!" Rarity answered defensively. "I just think if a throne being blasted away right under Celestia's sunbutt ass didn't destroy her, a sonic rainboom wouldn't do it either."

"Fair point." Rainbow sighed. "How about, idk, we do another race!"

"Uh... she's got enough stamina to outlast you Dash."

"That's what she said!" Pinkie giggled.

"Oh shut up Pinkie." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "I mean just like before, with wings tied, and then we push her off a cliff!"

"Probably not, but ya know what? If extremes haven't worked so far, maybe this will, nothing else makes sense in this crazy bucking world anymore anyway!" Twilight yelled.

"So.... cliff race?" Rainbow asked.

"Cliff race." The others answered with nods.

And that was how Celestia, Rainbow, and Twilight all ended up together along the gorge with their wings tied.

Celestia, they insured, was on the outside edge, near the cliffs, and Twilight and Rainbow would push her together.

"3....2....1... RACE!" Pinkie cheered blasting her party cannon.

They all took off running, Celestia humoring them and keeping pace.

"Now?" Rainbow whispered.

"Now!" Twilight screamed and lunged towards Celestia, Rainbow quickly following.

Celestia tumbled down the cliff edge and was still.

"Whoa, did we just Lion King her?" Twilight asked.

"It is alright, I am okay my little ponies." Celestia called getting up.

"GODDAMNSONOFAMOTHERWHORE!" Rainbow screamed.

Author's Note:

Dash, did you actually expect that to work?

Comments

[Lazruth]

It's Rainbow, what did you expect? Success?

(Shots fired!)

[PixelMoon]

"That's what she said!" Pinkie giggled.

Yeah. That's what she said.

[link4]

even trying to kill someone, she is obsessed with racing. also, it would have worked if they planted pikes beforehand

[Briarpelt]

"Lion King" has become a verb.