Guns, Pineapples, & Ponies: A Story of Nonsense

by BlazeHydra

Chapter 2

Yeah, so about me not owning anything but this story, you remember that right? You know, not Black Ops, not Friendship is Magic, just this story. Yeah, ring any bells? Sweet.

Guns, Ponies & Pineapples: A Story Of Nonsense
Chapter 2: How ‘Bout Dat Lobby Scene?

Here we have a couple ponies, a little less than 10 of them, in a room with seemingly nothing in it but chairs, really nice chairs. Some are doing there own thing, while others grouped together with what I can only assume are their friends. One particular group, one with a blue unicorn surrounded by others chatting away even though the look on the pony’s face clearly lacked any kind of interest. Then we have these 4, which is where our journey begins... wait, what do you mean this is the second chapter? So when did we do the first one? No I didn’t get any memo! I’m bucking narrative text I don’t have a mailbox! Whatever, no, whatever! Just start the damn story!

It only took one look at the scoreboard for Tehqman to break into uncontrollable laughter “Pfft, nice score Blaze! BAHHAAHAHA!”

“Yeah, keep laughing assist-master...” said Blaze, in the most sarcastic voice he could muster under his embarrassment.

“Woah, if I had a score of ZERO, I wouldn’t be talking.” Tehqman returned, in a tone of sarcasm that beat Blaze’s by a mile.

“Yes you would!”

Oatmeal quickly cut in, if only for the sake of the story running itself out, and managed to snap his... hooves... getting their attention “All right, break it up! Blaze, I can tell you’re still confused, you did say you had more questions, still think I can’t help?”

Blaze quickly backed away from Oatmeal, flashbacks of about 5 minutes ago already rearing in his mind, “I’m seriously scared to go near you, but you do seem to know your way around, so I’ll just have to settle with not looking you in the eye.”

“Really? Was it that bad?”

The question really didn’t have to be answered.

“Right... sorry about the whole ‘pineapple’ thing, but in my defense you did say they were favorite fruit!”

Blaze shuddered, reminding himself never to mention favorite objects to Oatmeal ever again, “...Ignoring that, apology accepted. Now why is it you’re so calm in a place like this?”

“Well, I’m not sure actually...” *Gasp* are we gonna have a flashback!? No? ...aw, lame. “...it may be a side effect of looking like Pinkie Pie. As soon as I ended up here, it never really crossed my mind to question any of it, honestly. I just kinda rolled with it, and then other people started showing up. Some got up and rolled with it like I did, others seemed just... confused the whole time, kinda like you were!”

Blaze’s face switched between annoyance and confusion for a little, and finally stopped at quizzical, “So would that mean everyone has a character influence?”

“That’d be my guess.”

“Not true!” Tehqman quickly cut in, challengingly, “I feel the same as before, except I really wanna get back home so I can play my guitar. WITH MY FINGERS.” Awkward silence. It stayed until Tehqman got the courage to try talking again, “Wait that didn’t come out right.”

This was the most confused Blaze had ever been the entire day, if we can measure time the same way in this world, which we probably can’t, so whatever, “How could that have possibly come out right?”

Flippper’s face had been getting increasingly agitated as the conversation lengthened, so he decided to address them at a volume somewhere between a scared statement and an excited whisper “Hey! You mind quieting down a little, I’m trying to focus on my classes!”

“The quietest one here is you,” Blaze quickly responded, and then immediately turned back to Oatmeal. Flippper simply returned to his classes “...I see where the character influence came in there. Hmm, hey Tehqman, you see that pony across the room?” He pointed across the room, if you could call it that, it didn’t look like it had any walls, at a stallion with an air of regalia that just screamed ‘rock-star’.

Tehqman squinted at the figure, but it didn’t ring any bells for him at the moment, “Yeah, what about him?”

“Doesn’t he look familiar, I swear I’ve seen a dude that looks just like him.” Blaze began to muse at the thought of recognizing someone in pony form, and quickly disregarded this thought.

“Hold on, let me try my super-ultra falcon vision... hmm...” Tehqman squinted again, this time... doing absolutely nothing different. Oatmeal noticed this and challenged Tehqman on his claim.

“Falcon vision? Since when did you have falcon vision? Nonetheless the super-ultra version, that’s not even patented yet!” OMC, if only you could see the hoof gestures he was making, it was hilarious!

“I dunno, I just thought that if nothing else makes sense, maybe now I have super ultra falcon vision.”

As much sense as that statement made, Oatmeal still had to ask, “Well do you have falcon vision?”

“I’m thinking, I’m thinking!”

Blaze quickly joined in on the inquisition.’Cuz you know, nobody expects the inquisition, “Why do you have to think?”

He was right. Tehqman didn’t have to think. Realizing this defeat, he decided maybe common sense was the way to go this time, “...no”

Blaze knew that was gonna be the answer, but it annoyed him no less “Well that’s just great,” he turned back to the one sucked in his class making, even though he’s had enough time to make 10 classes by now, “...yo Flipper! You done making precious classes yet?”

“Almost...” said Flippper, intent on making the best classes ever, all using rifles.

“Seriously? How many cod-points do you have? Besides, I got a question.”

Flippper’s agitated face turned on a dime straight to guilt “Oh, I’m sorry! Go ahead and ask.”

Blaze flared his wings “Well, seeing as how you’re a pegasus too, you have to have this weird feeling on your back too, right?”

“Well, the way I see it is like wearing glasses.” He flared his wings as well to emphasize, “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it in a little bit,” Flippper looked slightly away from Blaze as he understood the serious implications and consequences of what he was about to say “...unless you mean that tingling feeling...”

Blaze sighed in relief, “Yeah! That’s the word I was looking for, it’s tingly! Like some kind of sensation, you know?”

And then Flippper was concerned “Wait, how long has your back felt like that?”

“Since I got here, why?” Blaze cocked his head about 63.75% of a nose to the left, roughly speaking.

“Um, can you turn just a little to the left, thanks-” He tried to cover his mouth with his hoof and his face flushed, “...oh.”

The emphasis on ‘oh’ was all Blaze needed to hear to know something was amiss “What is it? ...ah, I see, heh heh, awkward...”

Oh, hey awkward silence, you come here often?

“I noticed earlier, but I thought it was just because you were still in shock, have you tried folding your wings at all?”

“No, actually. I keep forgetting I have them, I forget about the horn too,” he saw Flippper trying to stifle a laugh, and was quickly on the defensive, “it’s a lot to get used to ok?”

Flippper managed to calm himself “No, no I understand, I forget sometimes too, not very often though. Is that everything?”

“It is now.” He was almost speaking under his breath.

“Well then, my classes await!”

“Thanks, that makes me feel good about myself.” The sarcasm in his voice was palpable.

“I aim to please.” And said sarcasm was reflected off the invincible mirror that was Flippper.

-----

“Hm... Firing Range, or Havanna? These are the worst maps ever! Screw that, random!”

Most of the group were curious, but Tehqman was the one to ask, “What’s your problem with Firing Range Blaze? It seems like fun times to me.”

Blaze rolled his eyes “Right, fun times.” Tehqman returned the gesture. “Anyways, we should go and see if there’s anyone else we know in here.”

Oatmeal pointed in a general direction that had ponies in it, “Found one.”

“How do you know?” Flippper was either too skeptical or too scared to want to walk over there, either way he didn’t wanna do it.

Oatmeal got lucky, looking over where he pointed, he actually recognized somepony over there, “Light blue coat, and a cape. Yeah, I’d recognize that combo anywhere.”

Tehqman walked up, ready and confident “Well, I could try my falcon vision again-”

Oatmeal stopped him in his tracks, refusing to go through that again, “OR we could, I don’t know, WALK up to them and LOOK at their gamertag. And if that one got stuck with Trixie, then I’ve a good idea of who they might be...” so they all made there way to the group of ponies huddled around this Trixie character.

-----

The blue pony with the cape has already been fed up for a lifetime, not just in one day, in one sitting, “...listen, Edwin doesn’t know how many times he’s told you already, but Edwin is using his magic to make ART, not some kind of magicianery! Edwin doesn’t even think that’s a real word!” sadly, Edwin was right, but that wont stop anyone from saying it.

As soon as they were within speaking range, Oatmeal began in a tone that only rivals should share “Ho-ho, Edwin! Turnin’ tricks again, I see. In public? Have you no shame?”

“Wha- E- tha- who- Shut up! E-edwin doesn’t know what you’re talking about!” this was obviously wrong, but honestly, who did he think he was fooling?

Oatmeal continued in the same cocky voice “Riiight, and I suppose you’re calling this magicianery ‘art’ too?”

Edwin saw where this was going, and hope was growing dim, “That’s not a word! Of all the lobbies to be stuck in...”

“Aw, you’re not happy to be with a few fellow colleagues?” he countered Edwin’s combined anger and misery with more incessant mockery.

Edwin mused and dreaded at the word ‘colleagues’, especially the ‘s’, “That depends, how many of you are there?”

“Well, there’s me, Blaze, Flippper, & Tehqman...”

And that was the straw to break the camels back, “Then no!”

Tehqman’s ears were pretty damn near bleeding right now, but he decided to best Edwin’s volume anyway “For Celestia’s sake Edwin, we’re right in front of you! Tone it down!”

Edwin sighed in resignation, but the combination of him generally not wanting to be here and the recurring third person speech made it hard to detect any real empathy, “Sorry, it’s just that Edwin can’t get a moments peace without being bothered about his magic or cape.”

Flippper tried to break the tensity, but I don’t think it worked, “Well it is pretty flashy...”

“Really, it’s just a cloth with some stars on it, what is with people around here?” ...yeah it didn’t work.

Flippper eyed Edwin’s cape jokingly, “I meant your magic, but if you’re gonna be that self conscious about it, I can take that cape off your hooves-”

He sensed the humor in Flippper’s body language, but took the comment as serious as possible as he nightmared in his head about losing his security blank- I mean cape “NEVER!!”

Blaze looked at the lobby timer and knew this had to stop soon “...Well, now that we’ve all gotten acquainted, why don’t we start getting ready for the match, shall we?”

Oatmeal agreed, “Sounds like a plan to me, lets see... Grid... Grid?”

“I guess random came through for me, yes!” Blaze pumped his hoof and even went out for a bro-hoof, but to no avail.

“Well, it looks like FFA, this’ll be interesting...” Tehqman eyed the clock, dreading the upcoming match, and his extra 15 assists at the end.

“Ah don’t get your Olympia in a bunch!”

*Resetting Scores*

[MLP]BlazeHydra---------------Score: 0000

[MLP]McSqueakers---------------Score: 0000

[MLP]xlilflippper---------------Score: 0000

[MLP]Tehqman24---------------Score: 0000

[TG&P]EdwinprGTR---------------Score: 0000

[DCRD]ChocoCloud21---------------Score: 0000

[AERO]TheSTyler---------------Score: 0000

Players: 7/8

*Loading match components*

Comments

[BlazeHydra]

Sorry 'bout the delay, this should've been up like 3 days ago but SCHOOL had to go be a jerk, so yeah here you go!