Chapter 1
I don't own anything but this story, I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, nor do I own Call of Duty: Black ops, nope nothin but this story. K? Cool.
Guns, Ponies, & Pineapples: A Story Of Nonsense
Chapter 1: Don't Worry, We Respawn
We are soldiers, trained to kill and nothing else. Deadly efficiency matched only by their lack of remorse, born & bred for this sole- “What the...?”
*Error: Lost connection to host*
“Seriously? I can't even monologue without this game lagging out on me? Whatever, screw that I'm goin' to sleep.” *snooze* *snooze* *snooze* *creak* “...ugh, what was-” *Crack* “.........uh, whoop-” *CRASH*
-----
In the midst of a noisy but seemingly desolate arctic research center, lay an unconscious midnight blue alicorn. But, as empty as the immediate area seems to be, a certain pink earth pony approached from no particular direction. “...Hey Blaze, you all right?” said the pink pony, “...Yeah he's fine... Hey who're you callin' a camper!”
The alicorn got up shakily with no real awareness about him, “Argh, what the heck is going on here?” Wait, that voice... Oatmeal? Am I dreaming? “Uhh, hey O-oatmeal, this a dream or what? Wait if it's a dream, who can I trust?”
“Yeah, obviously in dreams you can think this much and say what you want coherently when you want to, so if I were you I'd get behind cover.” the one known as 'Oatmeal' told the alicorn, somehow being both more careful and more sporadic in his movement. “Oh, and hi.”
Wow, warm welcomes all around “Ok, wait, where are you?” the blue alicorn, referred to by Oatmeal as 'Blaze', looked around confused, completely ignoring two important things: the fact that he was just looking at the pink pony talking to him, and the fact that a pink pony was talking to him.
“Right in front of you, I know you just woke up but come on.” Oatmeal grew an annoyed expression on his face, and with good reason.
“But, b-but all that's in front of me is-”
“Oh yeah, forgot about that, before I say anything else, you might wanna listen to this: Yes, I am Pinkie Pie. Yes, you're a pony too, in fact, you kinda look like Luna.” as he said this, Blaze's expression changed to a mix of worry, excitement, and hunger. He tried to form words, but after they both noticed it wasn't working, Oatmeal continued, “No, this isn't a dream, at least that seems unlikely, I've been here for a little and then you come in all unconscious and whatnot. Any questions?”
Blaze tried to deadpan at the question, but his face refused to change from excited hunger, “A lot, but I doubt you have the answers, so I'll ask this, how do you know it's me?”
“Oh that's easy, your gamertag.” said Oatmeal matter-of-factly.
“Oh yeah, silly me- wait what!?” Why does my back feel so weird?
“Yeah, gamertags, and with that we can assume we're in some sort of game, seems to me like we're in a shooter of sorts.”
“You know, at this point I wonder why I'm still trying to make sense of all this...” You know, it's rather odd neither of these guys have been shot yet, it's amazing! Ahem, sorry, back to the story. “Wait a minute, you said I look like Luna right?”
“Yeah.”
“As in wings?”
“And a horn.”
“And the whole 'Royal figure'?”
“This conversation is starting to feel uncomfortable, but yes.” Throughout this inquiry Oatmeal had indeed gotten more and more worried. Not just because of the topic of questions, but also the bright, flashing red light that would've easily distracted small kittens if there were any in the immediate area.
“Oh no, I didn't mean anything like that! It's just... that’s REALLY AWESOME and what's that beeping noise? Oatmeal? Why are you backing-” *BOOM*
[DCRD]ChocoCloud21 >Semtex> [MLP]BlazeHydra
-----
Sweet Celestia my head, uuuugh, at least that narrows the list of games we could be in... wait, I just blew up, and I'm still alive, oh yeah I forgot nothing makes sense anymore and-
A yellow pegasus that was crouched behind some sort of box turned around and, to his surprise, found another pony looking rather unaware of his current situation. “Hey! Whatsup, umm...” the pegasus looked for Blaze's gamertag, “...oh Blaze it's you! How long have you been here?”
Blaze got up, in the same unaware fashion he's been in this whole story so far, that's gonna be a problem sooner or later. “Not very long... uh... Fluttershy? Oh, right, gamertag...” He looked above the pegasus' head, “Hm... oh! Hey Flippper! Yeah, just got here like a couple minutes ago, aaand got blown up.”
Flippper tried to empathize, but sounded a little distracted since he was focused in his scope, trying to take a few shots towards a grounded satellite dish. “Aw, that sucks, but I think that happens to everyone when they first get here, it's just a part of getting your awareness back.”
“Well yeah I guess it's hard not to get killed when you just wake up...” Blaze started looking around for once, trying to gather himself.
“Well I was thinking more along getting blown up specifically, but yeah that too.” Flippper chuckled to himself before turning back to his scope. “I guess you haven't found your gun yet have you?”
“Gun?” Blaze seemed to snap out of some trance, “Oh yeah! Man I'm gonna need one of those huh? Where do I get one anyway?”
“Menu,” He began in a confused tone, “I still don't quite get how it works, you just have to think about it, a lot.”
“Well I'll try... hmm, grrr, hnnnnnngggg!” Flippper grew concerned at the questionable noises taking place behind him. “There!” What the heck is that feeling on my back? “Oh yeah! Wings! Totally forgot about those!”
At this point Flippper was completely confused and concerned, and turned around momentarily, “...what?”
Blaze smiled sheepishly “Umm, just, thinking out loud, heh heh. Ok so picking a gun...” He made a groan of frustrated realization as he started to deduce his situation. “Great. Lemme guess, we're in Black Ops.”
Flippper answered without looking away from his scope “That's what it looks like to me.”
“And we start with no money.”
“Pretty sure.”
“At level one.”
“That’s the conclusion I came to...” He took a few more shots at a nearby window before an iconic guitar riff played from the background, “YES promotion! Aww yeah level 5! Custom classes here I come!”
“Well congrats, but you seem to do well with that Dragonuv.”
“Hah, haha, yeah...” He reloaded and sighed, “man I hate this gun.”
Blaze picked up a MP5k and continued to look around “So, do you know who else is here?” he asked, right before a thunderclap of bullets and rage crashed against their eardrums.
[MLP]Scramjet747 >AK74u> [MLP]Tehqman24
“CELESTIADAMNIT IF I HAD FINGERS YOU'D SO BE DEAD!!”
Flippper almost dropped his weapon in shock “Looks like Tehqman's here too, somewhere.”
Blaze started to canter towards a tower surrounded by bushes & rocks, AKA camp-city. “Well, I'd better go find him, or Oatmeal, or anypony for that matter. Comin' with?”
“I would, but I actually found a good spot to snipe, so I'll pass.”
“But didn't I spawn right next to you?”
“Yeah, so?”
“...You know spawn points switch, right?”
Flippper got up and switched to his pistol “...Good point.”
-----
“Wow, Tehq, today’s just not your day is it?” said Blaze, walking through a vantage section of the map, higher up and near the edge.
“Says the guy who can't get a kill,” retorted a sea foam green unicorn, mockingly “...besides its this freakin' Olympia, it just decides to have no range the entire match.”
“Why don't you try the MP5?” Blaze gestured his weapon towards the unicorn.
The unicorn, 'Tehqman' as he was called, pushed the outstretched SMG back in Blaze's hooves, “Not everyone plays like you, Blaze.”
Blaze shrugged “Well, I can't argue with that, though still I'd wait until the Stakeout before going shotgunning, ya know?” He snickered at the Tehqman's Olympia, earning him a piercing glare from it's wielder, so he tried to change the subject before he would be turned to teamkill “What map is this anyway? Hmm, snowy, trees, its big... looks like-”
“Array?” Flippper chimed in, feeling a bit bored from all the trotting.
Tehqman facehoofed “That's what I was afraid of.”
A familiar voice echoed from not too far away, “Hey guys! Wait up!!”
Blaze turned around to see a blur of pink bounding toward him, “Oh look it's Oatmeal! I was just gonna go looking for you, what is it?”
“Something awesome! Guess what I just found out?” Oatmeal reached into his pocket...
“What?”
...and took out some kind of yellow... green... wtf is that a fruit!? “Friendly fire is on!”
“How is that...” Just as he was about to finish that sentence, Blaze noticed just what Oatmeal was holding in his hoof, “oh no, no, nononononononono! NOOOOOOO!!”
[MLP]McSqueakers >Pineapple?> [MLP]BlazeHydra
[MLP]xlilflippper-----K/D: 9/5-----Assists: 1-----Score: 970
[MLP]McSqueakers-----K/D: 7/3-----Assists: 2-----Score: 830
[MLP]Tehqman24-----K/D: 2/6-----Assists: 10-----Score: 640
[MLP]BlazeHydra-----K/D: 0/3-----Assists: 0-----Score: 0
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There is no words to discribe
I'm not entirely sure how to react to this, so have a picture of Twist.
wut? I smell a trollfic coming up..
ah something I wanted to add: Call of Duty sucks.
57607
I wouldn't say really trollfic, but whatever you wanna call it, also if you don't like call of duty, wait for one of my side stories, i'll be doing other games as well
57607 Most bronies don't play CoD, but I do, been playing it for three years now, thick and thin.
Black Ops - Level 13th prestige
MW2 - I've prestiged so many times I lost count.
MW3 - Level 78
And other CoD series....
57528 & 57515
I don't know if that's good or bad, but COOL!
57629
Hmm... would you happen to be a ps3 brony?
57629
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fg0jfP9nnpg
that guy, I sadly know, has just reached 10th prestige in MW3. This is sad.
I used to play CoD too, but only CoD 2 and MW 1. The rest sucks.
57629 I used to play COD...then I took a Skyrim to the knee.
Spotted the blooms tower defense reference
57999
Oh really, you've got a sharp eye! You win 2 derpys!!
Hi blaze!
58136
Whatsup! Chapter 2 is in editing, it'll be up soon!
Rofl! I'm here too!
58577
Holy balls where's Data when you need him!?
Lol, dammit Blaze this is making me laugh.