Stage 1: Prologue
“Sonic! Eggman’s forces are surging into the city! We need you here, now!”
“Hold on, Tails, I’m on my way!”
With the call received, Sonic blasted through Green Hill. He stopped to look at some of Eggman’s new robots. “Nothing worthwhile,” he thought to himself, before knocking them all to the ground in a scatter of bolts and screws.
As the city grew nearer, the familiar sights of the place Sonic called his home started to fade. The lush greens around him were replaced with faded tans and yellows. Sonic kicked the ground, and a cloud of sand blew by.
“Green Hill’s looking a lot more like Sand Hill right now,” he mentioned, before speeding off towards the city once again.
In the city, Eggman had gathered Tails and a group of townsfolk into a corner, keeping them pressured with his Egg Pawns. In a flash of blue light, the blue blur came boosting in, taking out the robots with ease.
“Everyone okay?” Sonic asked.
“We are thanks to you,” Tails replied. “Cutting it kind of close though, pal.”
“Well, yeah, that’s pretty much how I roll. Now let’s finish this, Eggman!” Sonic charged up a Spin Attack and launched it towards the doctor, only to get knocked down, landing right on the ground.
“What the…?
Before Sonic emerged Shadow the Hedgehog. With him came several of his past formidable foes - Chaos, Zavok, and Metal Sonic. And then, materialized a new face. Or, rather, a new mask - this new creature didn’t seem to expose his face at all. On this creature’s chest was an odd gemstone of sorts. He put his hand to the stone, and before Sonic could even attack, he fell right to the ground, cold. No one else around him noticed a thing.
————————
“Something doesn’t feel quite right,” Sunset quietly said. She had been hanging around the portal to Equestria for about an hour. It was emitting an energy she could feel but couldn’t quite identify, but nevertheless it had her concerned. She put her hand on the sides of the portal. She quickly pulled her hand back.
“Ow!” She yelled.
“What’s wrong, Sunset?” Twilight asked. She had been working on her homework, while Sunset investigated.
“It’s…hot,” she explained. “Not, like, warm-from-the-sun hot. It’s burning hot. Something is up.”
Twilight went to touch the portal herself. Like Sunset, she very quickly retracted in an exclamation of pain.
“Yeah, that’s definitely not normal,” Twilight added. “Anyways, we should probably let it go for now. It’s getting late.”
As much as Sunset hated to admit it, it was already past the time they were supposed to linger on CHS campus. She grabbed her bag, and went on her way.
“Talk to you later, Twi,” she called out.
“Bye,” Twilight called back.
As Sunset walked away, Twilight packed up her own things. But not before making a few notes of her own.
“Strange energy, excessive heat, Sunset’s confused,” she wrote down. “There’s no way someone isn’t tampering with it from the other side.”
On her walk home, Sunset thought heavily about what was happening. I’ve gotta find out what’s going on, even if it means walking through that unstable portal. This has never happened before, so is an outside force tampering with it?
Sunset sent out a text to her friends. <Hey. Taking a break to Equestria. I’ll be back in a bit.> This wasn’t an uncommon text to send; she had taken many trips to Equestria, usually lasting a day or two. But she knew she wasn’t going to Equestria, or if she’d really be back in a bit - or even if she’d be back at all. But she did know she was stepping in that portal and getting to the bottom of the the scenario.
When she got home, she simply grabbed a quick snack and put her message journal away - she feared bringing it would risk its safety. She made sure to grab her geode before leaving - in case she needed it.
And, just like that, Sunset left everything else behind. Armed only with a physical representation of her magic, she went right back to the portal. When she got there, though, she saw six other people. She was really hoping this would go without a hitch, but here they were. All six of her friends.
“If you’re going in, we’re going with you!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “We’re not letting you risk your life without us!” The rest of the group nodded in agreement.
“How did you guys…?” Sunset asked, confused.
“Twilight told us all about it, dear,” Rarity responded with her phone in hand. “We weren’t just going to let you go alone, you know.”
“No,” Sunset shot down. “It’s not safe. I don’t even know if I’m going to make it back. It’s too dangerous for you to just walk into it.”
“Awww,” Pinkie Pie whined. “If you get to, why can’t we?”
“This is my portal back home, and I have to make sure that it’s alright. You guys stay here, and keep CHS safe. Without us here to defend, who knows what magic could attack next.” There was a silence, and Sunset looked back to the portal. She slowly walked up to it, before being shoved to the side.
“Catch ya on the other side!” Rainbow yelled, before boosting into the portal in a flash.
“Rainbow Dash!” The girls called. Sunset quickly followed her in, with the other girls following after. Fluttershy seemed hesitant to step in, before Pinkie grabbed her by the arm and dragged her in with the rest of them.
———————
“Where are we…?”
Rainbow Dash looked around. She did not expect to wake up in the streets of a crumbling city, but then again, she really didn’t know what to expect.
She made note of her observations. Cracked city streets. Buildings falling apart, rubble all over the ground.
“What the heck is that?!” She exclaimed, looking at a giant robot in the distance. It was gray and round, with a bright red eye in the middle.
“More like…what the heck are you?” Twilight countered, pointing at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash turned around, getting a glimpse of Twilight. She was most definitely not human. And Rainbow concluded that she too was no longer human.
She looked at Twilight. She still retained her regular outfit, but in place of a human head was…something else. Spines, a muzzle, a pointy black nose, and a giant singular eye with two pupils.
“Enough about appearances, I’m confused too! Let’s just find the others!” RD told her.
“Yeah, good idea,” Twilight replied. Rainbow grabbed her by the hand, and dashed ahead, off to find her missing friends.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Good work so far. Can’t wait to see what the Mane 7 will look like in Sonic’s world. I am planning on writing a crossover fanfic in the near future about Sonic: Forces, but my OC will get involve in the story too.
8813672
>but anyways, good job
If you ignore the stilted dialogue, bad pacing, and the (worrying) cliche sonic fans have of characters talking to themselves. But if you don't know enough to recognize those errors, I suppose it could be considered a good job (a few people have had trouble figuring out to upload here, apparently).
8813793
I understand. The grammar needs to be improved in the story.
8813793
The dialogue is something I'm still working on, and it does feel a bit off in this first chapter. I'm aware, and I'm working on it for future chapters.
The pacing is something I thought was a bit weird but was mostly okay, so it's nice to know that I messed it up. Second chapter should be much better off in terms of pacing.
The "characters talking to themselves" is more or less directly from the Sonic games themselves, as (especially during Sonic stages), you'll hear the characters spout lines like, "that's it for Green Hill, so the city must be close! Let's get ready for some action!" It's an extension of what's heard in the games - at least, that's how I see it.
Thank you for the criticisms, though!
Just don't make them all hedgehogs that would be a chliche and not that interessting. I also wouldn't mind another animal for Rainbow instead of an hedgehog, she can be still fast then. I just want to work against the "all hegehogs are fast" image.
The next chapter should get a different pacing I think, for the prologe it was just good enough for me, I mean you kind of let it happen and skipped to where the next chapter was supposed to begin I think.
8814522
I just say it because I believe the same goes for mlp, just because something happens there doesn't means it "has" to happen in the story too. I don't mean it mean and I don't care this time, but I think it is something I should say again before it happens to be some kind of unspoken rule.
8818683
Speaking of "shouldn't all be hedgehogs", I've been using this post's picture for my avatars:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197302/sonic-bronies/thread/345185/mlp-cast-in-sonic-forces
Seems rather fitting, no? You wouldn't need to rewrite the first chapter, since Twi's the only one described as being a hedgehog! Of course, Tempest wouldn't be here, and Sunset would, so unless Sunset = Wolf makes sense, there'd be some reshuffling necessary...
8820793
I like it, I also like the description from Rainbow, not sure how often that usually happens in other stories, but I often get the feeling some crossover characters aren't allowed to shine as much as they are supposed to like when you have Ruffy/Luffy (One Piece) in Equestria.
I mean I like that Sonic wins the races often enough.
Not sure what to think about Rarity sleeping by or with Rouge yet. It is like the think with Tails that is kind of used in more than one chase that they debate about magic and sience. With Rarity and Rouge, well it is 50/50 it makes sense but not sure how much I would like it that she is the person that hangs out with Rarity, this is what I would normally call a typicall pairing/shipping.
The heartattack thing usually happens with the CMC and can be quite annoyng after reading it a certain amoung of time, however it is a first for Fluttershy at least I see it the first time so it is okay.
Pinkie x Shadow yes? not sure if this is just teaming up or if you want this to be shippings, but in this crossover I'm okay with their forms and the shippings so far. However I would hate it to see that Shadow just gives in to her and I could actually image him smile when she thinks she lost the bet (you know about making him smile)
While I don't think they are to edgy it is kind of funny and yep I'm happy with it I think.
I forgot about that and I forgot that you aren't writing this story, so I need to wait what he is doing with it.
Not sure if I understand your comment right but now that I saw that you weren't the author it looks a bit weird to me that "you" mentioned it to me.
Have you maybe two accounts?, because I haven't seen a story like this in your page so this maybe is your second account?
8820922
Oh nonono, I wasn't implying the author should use any of the background info, just that those looked like good bases for a "not all hedgehogs" effort. Also, I only have the one account, and haven't written any stories... yet. Had something cooking since before Season 5 though.