• Member Since 5th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Mar 15th, 2021

Loveshock


xe/xem - sci-twi supremacist

T

During his first encounter with Sonic, Infinite uses the Phantom Ruby to trap him. But when the Ruby accidentally rewires the CHS portal to Equestria to end up in Sonic's world, the Main 7 end up fighting alongside Team Sonic to defeat Eggman and Infinite, fix the portal, and head back home!

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 13 )

Good work so far. Can’t wait to see what the Mane 7 will look like in Sonic’s world. I am planning on writing a crossover fanfic in the near future about Sonic: Forces, but my OC will get involve in the story too.

8813672
>but anyways, good job
If you ignore the stilted dialogue, bad pacing, and the (worrying) cliche sonic fans have of characters talking to themselves. But if you don't know enough to recognize those errors, I suppose it could be considered a good job (a few people have had trouble figuring out to upload here, apparently).

8813793
I understand. The grammar needs to be improved in the story.

8813793

The dialogue is something I'm still working on, and it does feel a bit off in this first chapter. I'm aware, and I'm working on it for future chapters.
The pacing is something I thought was a bit weird but was mostly okay, so it's nice to know that I messed it up. Second chapter should be much better off in terms of pacing.
The "characters talking to themselves" is more or less directly from the Sonic games themselves, as (especially during Sonic stages), you'll hear the characters spout lines like, "that's it for Green Hill, so the city must be close! Let's get ready for some action!" It's an extension of what's heard in the games - at least, that's how I see it.

Thank you for the criticisms, though!

Just don't make them all hedgehogs that would be a chliche and not that interessting. I also wouldn't mind another animal for Rainbow instead of an hedgehog, she can be still fast then. I just want to work against the "all hegehogs are fast" image.

The next chapter should get a different pacing I think, for the prologe it was just good enough for me, I mean you kind of let it happen and skipped to where the next chapter was supposed to begin I think.


8814522

The "characters talking to themselves" is more or less directly from the Sonic games themselves,

I just say it because I believe the same goes for mlp, just because something happens there doesn't means it "has" to happen in the story too. I don't mean it mean and I don't care this time, but I think it is something I should say again before it happens to be some kind of unspoken rule.

8818683
Speaking of "shouldn't all be hedgehogs", I've been using this post's picture for my avatars:

https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197302/sonic-bronies/thread/345185/mlp-cast-in-sonic-forces

Seems rather fitting, no? You wouldn't need to rewrite the first chapter, since Twi's the only one described as being a hedgehog! Of course, Tempest wouldn't be here, and Sunset would, so unless Sunset = Wolf makes sense, there'd be some reshuffling necessary...

8820793
I like it, I also like the description from Rainbow, not sure how often that usually happens in other stories, but I often get the feeling some crossover characters aren't allowed to shine as much as they are supposed to like when you have Ruffy/Luffy (One Piece) in Equestria.
I mean I like that Sonic wins the races often enough.
Not sure what to think about Rarity sleeping by or with Rouge yet. It is like the think with Tails that is kind of used in more than one chase that they debate about magic and sience. With Rarity and Rouge, well it is 50/50 it makes sense but not sure how much I would like it that she is the person that hangs out with Rarity, this is what I would normally call a typicall pairing/shipping.
The heartattack thing usually happens with the CMC and can be quite annoyng after reading it a certain amoung of time, however it is a first for Fluttershy at least I see it the first time so it is okay.

Pinkie x Shadow yes? not sure if this is just teaming up or if you want this to be shippings, but in this crossover I'm okay with their forms and the shippings so far. However I would hate it to see that Shadow just gives in to her and I could actually image him smile when she thinks she lost the bet (you know about making him smile)

While I don't think they are to edgy it is kind of funny and yep I'm happy with it I think.

Of course, Tempest wouldn't be here, and Sunset would, so unless Sunset = Wolf makes sense, there'd be some reshuffling necessary...

I forgot about that and I forgot that you aren't writing this story, so I need to wait what he is doing with it.

Not sure if I understand your comment right but now that I saw that you weren't the author it looks a bit weird to me that "you" mentioned it to me.
Have you maybe two accounts?, because I haven't seen a story like this in your page so this maybe is your second account?

8820922
Oh nonono, I wasn't implying the author should use any of the background info, just that those looked like good bases for a "not all hedgehogs" effort. Also, I only have the one account, and haven't written any stories... yet. Had something cooking since before Season 5 though.

The avatar isn't there?, do we have the main six in his place?

8853065
Yes. I want[ed?] to potentially have the M7 replace him, or have Silver take his role (early plans had Silver with a Burst Wispon). Unsure how I'm going to handle it, but his role will probably be filled with Rainbow Dash, with other various parts going to other characters to give them time to shine as well.

8853138

Yes. I want[ed?] to potentially have the M7 replace him,

Do you count Starlight or Spike to them? I kind of view Starlight with her own little band/team.

Unsure how I'm going to handle it, but his role will probably be filled with Rainbow Dash, with other various parts going to other characters to give them time to shine as well.

to be honest I think I would like to see Sonic getting the main fame, maybe being something like Rainbows second idol if the avatar isn't there.

I see no harm in them sharing some uuhhmmm spotlight, but since the main six mostly fight with artifacts I think, special characters like Sonic have probably an advantage over Rainbow.
If we take it a bit more serious then maybe she would even need to relearn how to handle her body a bit, I admit I forgot about the elements fusing with their body for a moments but without prefering anyone I just see the sonic team as some sort of trained fighters right now.

Not that I don't want the ponies to be awesome, but soemtimes I just think hey where should they suddenly take the professional fighting skills. I know their adventures /Villains, but I guess their world has it's own rules and like I said mostly elements.

maybe you could make sonic her mentor or something or him accepting her as such in some sort of big moment in the story.

I don't have to much time now so yes I see where the story goes.

Oh boy anthro edgelords and anthro ponies this is gonna be fun (starts reading)

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