• Published 13th Feb 2018
  • 717 Views, 14 Comments

Always bet on green - Jaycren



It isn't that somebeing is an assistant its WHO'S assistant they are.

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Let the betting begin

Author's Note:

This came to me. It is a one shot. I have no inclination to write anymore about this. I will admit thought that this was a fun one. It really was. I was laughing hysterically at the end. I am still chuckling a bit.

Shining Armor knew what was expected of him, calmly he took a red notebook out of his jacket. Cadence smirked, as he patted his pockets seeking a quill. True to form he didn’t have one. So also true to form she presented him one. He opened the notebook, then wrote the names of all the parties at the table other then himself and his wife. He then drew a line down the page to the left of his list of names, followed by a space, and another line. Continuing on he drew a line across the top with the list underneath while also bisecting the two other lines. He labeled the columns, terms and # of raises, placing his quill down he leaned back and waited in silence for the other parties to get back from the washroom. He sat in silence, neither speaking or looking at those seated at the table, the proprieties had to be upheld in all things.

The three mares approached the table, Tempest saw the book and smiled and nodded, some things really did cross all boundaries. As they sat down Cadance was the one to speak.

"Alright, we have a 20 bit by in with a 5 bit incremental raise. Only those that talked to the hostage, can place bets, sorry Twi. Bookie keeps 1% of winnings and is unable to place any bets themselves. I, Cadance as representative of the crown will be overseeing, with Twilight Sparkle as my auditor. The Bookie will not speak till all bets are settled. Who would like to make the first prediction?"

To everyone's surprise Meadowbrook spoke first. "I'll place 100 bits that Stygian is the first to arrive. He will be covered in blood that is not his own, arrive through the kitchen, and it will only take him 10 minutes from the moment we stop betting.

Tempest spoke up next, "I say that Grubber gets here first, he will be smoldering, partially on fire, and enter the building from that sky light. He will not be suffering any discomfort, and will be in a ridiculously good mood about the whole thing, 5 min."

Princess Luna nodded sagely, "Both good predictions, but I hold Fussbudget's one true love. His appointment book. He will arrive first, through the same skylight as your Grubber, but will not pause, immediately taking his schedule book from me, mayhap at the point of violence, I say about 5 minutes as well."

Princess Celestia rested her head against the table. Still wearing that same smile she said, "Raven will arrive last, she will have not only filled out her paperwork, but will have made sure that your other assistants are taking care of as well. She will walk through the main doorway of the dinning area. No time prediction, she will get here when it is done, but it will be done on time." she leaned back and shared a smirk with the Element of Generosity.

Rarity chuckled, "First I would like to raise the bet to 200 bits, making it a true double or nothing. Secondly, darlings, you have made some wonderful predictions, but here is how it will actually happen. Spike will arrive first. He will do so out of the mouth of Twilight, using his magic spell. He will re-materialize wearing an outfit that matches mine perfectly, complete with tuxedo and hat, despite only seeing it once. He will have flowers, Hyacinths to be precise, that upon me taking will convert into diamond dust and surround me with glitter. He will be followed by Stygian, who will appear exactly as Meadow said, from exactly where she said. He will then march over to her, kiss her full on the lips, then go get cleaned up. He will be followed by Fussbudget, who will arrive as Princess Luna described. In my advise your majesty, if you do not want to get cut by your steward I suggest you make the book airborne the second he enters. In that case he will grab it before it hits the ground and then take it somewhere quiet, cooing and soothing it all the way. We will find him later cuddling it."

She paused here to take a drink holding one shapely finger aloft to show that she was not done.

"This will be followed by Grubber, again exactly as previously mentioned, in the exact condition mentioned. He will make a vulgar joke directed at Tempest. Then he will go to the restroom to make himself presentable. Princess Celestia predicted Raven Inkwell's arrival exactly. I have nothing more to add on the order. This will all happen in 5."

"5 minutes?" Cadance asked.

"4" came the reply

Twilight's face puffed up from the belch that was forming.

"3" Rarity pointed to the nearest open space as green wreathed purple fire shot from Twilight's mouth.

"2" Spike formed wearing a complete Tuxedo, with hat, and as the fire finished its job he began walking to Rarity.

"1, Hello Handsome." She said as he flicked his wrist and a bouquet of Hyacinths formed in his hand. As Rarity took them they converted into diamond dust and caused a shimmering aura around her.

A noise from the kitchen and the gasping of several nobles heralded the approach of a crimson coated Stygian, marching up to Meadowbrook, he pulled her close and kissed her so hard that all the women in the restaurant, including waitstaff and those not in the room, blushed from the heat of it. Without saying another word he stalked to the nearest washroom.

Hearing a rapidly approach whistling, Luna, taking Rarity's advice, threw Fussbudget appointment book high into the air. The thin Thestral shot through the skylight, nabbed it out of the air, and could be heard muttering to it, asking where the bad princess touched it, and cooing to it softly as he disappeared from the room.

Tempest looked up to the Skylight in time to see her hedgehog second in command hurtle through. Hitting the ground hard enough to crack the marble floor, he arose still on fire. Licking his fingers he used them to put the last, small fire out, turned to Tempest and said. "Hey, Boss, I really am hot stuff, Huh?" Wiggling his eyes and winking at her, he retreated to the same washroom that Stygian had disappeared into.

All the ponies except Celestia and Rarity turned to the main doors of the dining room. They opened to reveal Raven Inkwell, who strode in and placed a stack of finished paperwork in front of Celestia. She then sighed and went to the mare's washroom to get clean.

All eyes fell on Rarity who had taken seat on Spike's lap and was being feed grapes from the table. Seeing all eyes on her she smiled.

"Darlings, all your predictions where right, except for one thing. You all forgot to include the others in your figuring. My little Spikey Wikey here, has been making others cooperate since he was born. None of you, other then Princess Celestia and Myself, took that into account. If their is one thing I have learned in my adventures is that one should always bet on Green."