Mare in the Mirror

by adcoon

15. Without Eyes To See

Celestia opened the window and helped Scootaloo up on the narrow ledge overlooking the lands below. A freezing gale blew in from the snow-covered mountain outside. “It's a very, very long way down, Scootaloo,” she said as she held on tightly to the young pegasus. “Are you certain you don't want my help?” There was a hint in her tone that she wasn't really going to accept a no if it came to that, but it likely passed over the young pegasus.

Scootaloo looked down the dizzying heights from the window of Celestia's room, down through the wispy clouds to where the ground was. Or ought to be. Somewhere down there. She tried to conceal her nerves. “Yeah, I can do this. I've been training real hard with Rainbow Dash.”

She spread her young wings in the freezing wind and bit her lip. “She says I'm getting much better …” She lost a bit of her earlier daring. It was one thing to speak of it, another entirely to stand on the precipice and look down just before the jump.

Celestia smiled softly. “There is no shame in this, Scootaloo. There is no pony here you need to impress, least of all me. Many young pegasi struggle with their flight, and many of them find their talents are more suited to staying on the ground. There is nothing wrong with that.”

“I wish I could be like her. Like Rainbow Dash.” Scootaloo looked over her shoulder at Celestia. “She's always been good to me, and she's really cool. Have you seen her fly?” Celestia nodded, and Scootaloo looked back out the window. “Where do you think she is now? Do you think she's safe?” A slight rumble far down below made her perk up. “What was that?”

Celestia furrowed her brow slightly and listened. “Let's hope it's good news,” she said after a moment's silence. “But there will be time for questions later. You should hurry. Are you ready?”

Scootaloo looked out the window and sank a bit. “I-I guess a little help won't hurt.”

“You should never be afraid to ask for help from your friends.” Celestia smiled, and her horn glowed a warm yellow as she took a firm hold of the young filly in the window and lifted her over the edge. “Stay safe out there, and find your friends.” Scootaloo kept her wings steady and looked up at Celestia as the princess began lowering her down the steep mountain side.

Celestia leaned out the window as she watched Scootaloo slowly descend, concentrating to make sure she didn't lose the young filly. The cold wind blew about her, making her shiver, or perhaps it was something else. A sudden terror chilled her to the very bones as she picked up the pace, the sense of urgency growing.

A light caress tickled her ear and cheek. “Drop her … go ahead,” the voice whispered in her ear, tempting her. Celestia paused, felt her body betray her, felt herself act against her will. “No pony will ever know, and it's so easy. Just let go and watch her fall, watch her flap those useless little wings. Watch her desperation.”

The magic wavered in the cold night air. Down below Scootaloo hung in the air helplessly, looking up with terrified eyes at Celestia in the window.

No! She couldn't do it. Could never betray a friend. “I am not your puppet!” she said, commanding all the conviction she could muster and let a surge of magic flow through her horn. A wave of light washed over her and banished the shadow clouding her mind. Below her, Scootaloo dropped a few yards before she was caught again, slowly descending anew.

A mild chuckle sounded behind Celestia. “Oh, but your are … aren't you?”

Celestia felt a thin wisp of thread wrap around her neck. She gasped as the thread tightened, but stubbornly kept her eyes on the filly dangling above the clouds below. She couldn't let herself lose focus.

“You all are!” A deep menace replaced the light chuckle as the thread pulled taut around her throat. Celestia struggled but soon faltered, her legs shaking before collapsing. In the fall she lost sight of Scootaloo, and lost her hold. A long cry sounded from below, quickly fading.

“Beg,” the voice commanded in a whisper in her ear, and she felt her head pulled back forcefully, the thread tightening further.

Celestia gasped and moved her lips in a silent “Please.” There was a split second of silence, then a rush of air and a clattering of the windows. Celestia coughed and wheezed as the thread loosened with a snap. She struggled back on her hooves and leaned out the window. Maybe it wasn't too late, if only she could see, but the clouds obscured her vision. Celestia's horn flared, she had to act quickly, but she knew she would be too late.

The wind howled, then the clouds parted as dark wings shot up from below. Celestia stumbled back as Scootaloo was thrown through the window and tumbled across the floor, landing by the bed. A long shadow crept through the window and took form. Trixie rose up before them as she closed the window.

“Fun's over. We seem to have a bit of a rebel spirit around here. Let me make one thing clear.” She turned and looked Celestia in the eyes. “Do not think me blind. Your lives belong to me, and you will serve, whether you like it or not.” A dim glow filled her eyes, and Celestia felt herself forced down, her legs bending and head lowering against her will. “If my puppets won't dance for me, I will make them dance! Do you understand?” Celestia's head nodded. “Tell me then, whom do you serve?”

Celestia struggled as she felt herself pressed against the floor, her lips moving of their own accord. “I serve … you alone, my Queen. I am yours to command.”

Trixie smiled with dark pleasure. “Then you will tell me, who let my heir out of her room, who has been feeding my prisoner and orchestrated her escape? Who is foolish enough to oppose me?” Celestia struggled, sweat dripping from her brow as she fought against the demand. She would never betray a friend. Trixie's eyes burned brighter. “I do not hear you. Perhaps I should have my heir tell me instead? Do you want that? Do you think she can resist me half as well as you?”

Celestia closed her eyes. She couldn't let Scootaloo come to harm because of her. “I-I did it, your majesty,” she gasped.

Trixie bowed down close to stare into her eyes. The smile had vanished again. “I think you lie, do you not? Who are you protecting? Is it perhaps my trusted commander?” Her body ached and tears ran down her cheeks as she felt herself nod. She collapsed in front of Trixie as she was released with a sudden force.

“I thought as much,” Trixie said and turned to Scootaloo who was crying by the bed. “Let's hope the commander finds your friend before she freezes to death out there in the snow. Let's hope so for both of their sakes,” she said and turned to the door as a pair of guards stepped in. “Take my heir to her room. If she is not there when I return I will make you beg for the gallows.”

Celestia watched helplessly as the two guards dragged the young pegasus away. One question kept pushing at the back of her mind. Why had Trixie saved Scootaloo from the fall? What did she intend to do with her supposed heir? What did she intend to do with Celestia?

As if reading her mind, Trixie shut the door behind the guards and turned to Celestia. Celestia felt a freezing cold creeping along her spine as Trixie stood above her, looking at her with cold eyes. “We have work to do, you and I …”

“What do you intend?” Celestia tried to keep her voice level, eyes focused on Trixie.

“Assurance,” Trixie said darkly.

* * *

Applejack turned and groaned under her pillow. It felt like she had only just closed her eyes, and now the dog was acting up, barking and scratching at her door, creating a terrible clamor. She would never get any sleep this way. As she got out of bed to open the door, the earlier worries emerged anew, sleep having briefly relieved her of them.

Things had not been easy for the apple family, and every day she feared what would become of them. The worries had only deepened now that Granny Smith had fallen ill and was too weak to get out of bed.

She opened the door and saw Winona dart off down the stairs. “What's the matter, girl?” she called as she galloped off after the barking dog. She found her again by the front door, scratching and whining desperately. Applejack glanced out the window, but only the veil of night could be seen through it. “Is something out there?”

“What's the racket, sis?” Apple Bloom asked and rubbed her eyes as she came down the stairs with Big Macintosh following close behind.

“Go back upstairs and hide, Apple Bloom,” Applejack said and grabbed a solid branch from its resting place against the wall. “You stay here with her and Granny,” she added, directed at Big Macintosh. The heavy stallion gave a silent nod and pushed a protesting Apple Bloom back up the stairs.

Applejack waited until they were gone, then opened the door. Winona set off with a frantic barking into the snow and freezing gale outside. “Winona!” Applejack called and stepped outside, hastening to close the door behind her to keep the cold out of the house, and what little warmth they had inside. The snow lay thick across the farm and reflected the dim light of the moon. Winona's barking persisted somewhere out among the vast apple orchards. Applejack shivered and set off at a brisk pace in the direction of the barking.

The trees of the orchard loomed over her as she caught sight of Winona up ahead, bouncing around something in the snow. She picked up her pace as a rainbow-colored tuft of hair gained her attention against the backdrop of white. “Rainbow Dash!” she called.

Rainbow Dash was lying in the snow, looking like she had dragged herself through the orchard before finally giving up and collapsing under a tree. The green shell of Tank stuck out from under one of her hooves, head and legs pulled inside for protection against the freezing cold. Applejack almost didn't see Angel huddled up under one of Dash's wings, concealed against the white snow.

“Get my brother!” she told Winona, who barked and ran off. Applejack tried to get Rainbow Dash to stand, but the pegasus didn't respond, hanging like a sack of oats in her hooves. “Don't give up on me now, Rainbow Dash. We'll get you inside in the warmth, I swear!”

* * *

“Here. Drink this, Sugarcube.”

Rainbow Dash took the warm mug in her shaking hooves. “T-thank y-you, AJ. I didn't k-know where to go … I thought I was a goner for sure.” She sipped the steaming drink with a little help from Applejack to keep her hooves steady. The sweet taste of apples and spices took her memories back, and the warmth spread slowly through her aching body.

“They're going to be looking for you, aren't they?” Applejack sat down next to her, holding her hooves so they wouldn't shake so much.

Rainbow's head slumped a little, her muzzle resting on the edge of the mug. She nodded a little, quietly. She knew what Applejack would say. She could barely stand on her hooves, hadn't had a proper meal or rest in far too long, and one of her wings had been bandaged up while she was unconscious. She was pretty sure it was broken in the fall from the castle and counted herself extraordinarily lucky that it hadn't been her neck. And yet she needed to leave as soon as possible. They would find her here, and if they did, they'd take Applejack and her family too.

Perhaps Applejack read her face, perhaps she simply came to the same conclusion. Either way she seemed to understand. There was a long silence as they sat there in the darkness of Applejack's home. Apple Bloom and Big Macintosh had gone back to get some much needed sleep. The shadows under Applejack's eyes suggested she could use it too. Perhaps a few weeks of sleep.

“I was so worried when they took y'all away.” Applejack broke the silence after a while. “I thought I would never see you again, and then Angel and this strange bird dropped in all of a sudden and were all aflutter. Never heard a bird babble so, I swear I thought it was Pinkie for a moment, and I couldn't make head nor tail of what they wanted. And then, when I mentioned that y'all had been taken to the castle, they were off in a rush again with nary a peep of explanation.”

Applejack looked like a heavy stone weighed upon her heart, something she wanted to shed. “What happened?”

“I thought I'd never see anypony ever again either,” Rainbow Dash said as she breathed in the warm steam wafting up from the hot cider. She took a deep breath and began telling of her time in the dungeon, of Blue Jet and the surreal rescue mission, and of the fall from the castle. How she plummeted down the mountain and, barely knowing where she was, dragged herself through the snow.

“I had only two thoughts in my mind, if you could call them thoughts at all. To get away, and to warn my parents in Cloudsdale. I knew I couldn't make it there myself, not in my condition, and that it will be the first place they look for me too, so I sent the parrot to warn them. I-I just hope it makes it there in time. I wasn't quite aware of where I was going after that, thank Celestia I somehow found my way here.”

Applejack looked down while Dash drank her cider. After a while the silence became almost oppressive. Dash looked around. “What about you and the family?”

“We're getting by,” Applejack said with a heavy breath. “The cold has been hard on everypony. Many have given up and pleaded for help from that infernal mare. Seems like they got it too 'cause they ain't missin' anything now, but we sure as hay ain't gonna submit to her if we can help it. Many are doing worse than we here at Sweet Apple Acres, and we do our best to help, but I'm not sure how long our stores will last if this continues much longer.”

“And I fear Granny Smith is getting ill too. She's always been a strong pony, but there are limits to anything, and she's just not been herself lately.” Applejack's voice was tired, as if all these worries were somehow old and less on her mind.

Rainbow watched her. She usually wasn't the most observant about other ponies, but something definitely bothered Applejack that she wasn't saying. “Alright, out with it, AJ. What's the matter?”

Applejack looked up and shrugged in mild defeat. “Well, you tell me a few pets busted you out and I did nothing all the while. I have to be honest, I'm not proud of that. And who knows about poor Scootaloo?”

“I think Blue Jet had something to do with it too,” Rainbow Dash muttered, then shook her head at Applejack. “Come on, you helped too. Without you and the farm here, I'd be dead out there by now. I consider that a pretty big help. And you had to stick by your family too, what else could you do? I hope Scoots is safe, but there's nothing either of us can do right now is there?”

“I don't know, and I suppose,” Applejack said vaguely. She looked many years older as she stood up slowly. “But don't you think I ain't here for you or that I ain't gonna stand up for you too. They better think twice if they think they can come here and take my friend again.” She placed herself next to Rainbow Dash and bent down to allow the beaten pegasus to crawl up on her back. “Now come on, I'll get you to bed.”

* * *

A tear joined the sea. Manna watched its lonely fall as she clung to the piece of wood, adrift in the vast obsidian nothingness. Nothing looked back at her, in this nor any mirror before. She tried to imagine her face, from the cerulean eyes to the jagged remains of her horn. Even in her imagination the face seemed blank, lifeless, like ashes and faded pictures. She had no memory of it, only meaningless descriptions pried from others. What good were they when she couldn't see with her own eyes? Had there not been a time when she had looked herself in the mirror and seen … herself? What she would not give to look into her own eyes, the windows into a pony's soul as it was said.

“If only I could see,” she whispered at the sea.

And the sea whispered back in deep voices like the rolling of waves. “And what would you see?”

Manna stared into the black ocean, her mind searching the deep for an answer. Finally her lips moved again as she spoke her wish. “Nothing more than the honest truth. If I could but see myself, the truth of me. Perhaps at last I could see where I went wrong.”

The ocean waves washed against her and the broken piece of wood she was clinging to. “We can show it to you, but we desire something in return.”

“Tell me what you desire, and if I can I shall give it to you,” Manna begged.

“Your precious blue eyes,” the sea spoke. “In return for our sight we ask that you give us yours.”

Manna's breath collapsed, and she felt as if dragged down into the deep. Could she really give up her eyes that she had so longed to see, as far back as she remembered? How could she ever hope to see anything without them? She looked around. She had already lost everything else. Everything … there was nothing left to see. So what good did her eyes do her now? “I-if that is the price I must pay.” She leaned down, submerging her face in the cold water.

Water and darkness engulfed her as her eyes sank to the bottom of the ocean like a pair of azure pearls, claimed by the sea of night as its treasure. Only the sound of washing waves and its cold touch remained, the only tangible sensations left as she was carried off by the waves. And there she saw it, like she had never seen. Dappleshore, the winding streets and marshy fields of home. That she had once called home, so long ago.

* * *

The village was abuzz with life, ponies young and old eagerly trotting up and down the streets on the outskirts where tents and colorful constructions had been raised all across the marshy fields. They were all here for the festival, of course. The Fabled Filly Fair, that annual event so unfortunately named, as Manna alone of all ponies seemed to have realized. And she had never felt any need to explain the connection.

A group of young colts were making their way through the city towards the fairground, chatting along as they trotted through the streets. A brash young pegasus at the front, the apparent leader of the little clique and by coincidence the son of the mayor, was in the middle of an animated retelling of some previous daring event.

The beefy earth pony next to him laughed heartily. “Good one, Stormwind. I wish I could be there to see the looks on their faces.”

Stormwind landed and trotted a few yards ahead of the group, turning. “Yeah, me too, Rocky. If that doesn't blow their minds, I—aww hay, man!”

The group turned at his outburst and looked back the way they came. A young unicorn had fallen behind and now trotted along at a pace that might as well have been a complete stand-still, eyes turned to gaze at a window in one of the houses by the side of the street.

Stormwind rolled his eyes and held a hoof to his mouth, calling out. “Keep up, Charcoal, and leave the creepy pony alone already. She's not your type.”

The others snickered, and Rocky muttered under his breath, “She's not anypony's type.”

Charcoal, an aptly named young colt, waved a dismissive hoof. “You go on, I'll catch up.” His coat was a charcoal gray, mane was black and eyes a dull brown. He was taller and thinner than most and had a perpetually tired look, the shadows under his eyes never quite managing to fade. A pair of charcoal sticks crossed over a sheet of paper on his flank.

“You don't have the guts anyway, Casanova,” Stormwind yelled back teasingly.

Charcoal looked from the window back at his friends, then back at the window with a scowl. For a little while he stood, swaying slightly as if one half of his body wanted to move while the other wanted to stay in place. Finally he gave his friends a dismissive scowl and stood up tall, taking one step forward, then another.

“This ought to be good,” Stormwind grinned at the others around him and set off, flying closer to watch as Charcoal approached the house and with some obvious reluctance knocked on the door.

The house remained silent and dark, except for a flickering of light in the upper window. Charcoal felt the sweat run down between his eyes as he scratched at the ground and knocked again. There was another long silence, then a high window opened and a face steeped in strange shadows peered down at him.

Charcoal looked up into those intense cerulean eyes set among locks of blue hair and felt his legs turn soft beneath him. Everyone said Manna was creepy, but Charcoal thought he saw through it to a smart, if a little reclusive mare. If only he could talk to her, get to know the real her.

“Uh …” he croaked, his voice betraying him. The snickering ponies behind him made him frown at himself and straighten up again. “I-I was wondering if you h-had any plans today?”

Manna looked at the group of snickering, waving ponies out on the street. Charcoal bit his lip. He didn't dare to think what she might be thinking with those foals standing there looking dumb. He didn't even dare imagine what kinds of gestures they were making behind his back. Nothing helpful, he wagered. “I-I mean, perhaps you'd like to join us … me at the fair?” He could give his friends the boot for one day if it meant a chance with the filly of his dreams.

Manna turned to look back down at him. Charcoal looked up into the bottomless blue ocean that were her eyes and felt his heart sink, his whole body sink into the ground. They were the eyes of a pony who had never loved, and never known a friend in her life. And all he ever wanted was to be that friend.

“I'm sorry, I'm kinda busy,” she said without a tinge of regret and closed the window, that portal to her heart.

Charcoal stood as if struck dead on the steps of the house. He barely heard and much less cared as his pegasus friend landed next to him and lay a hoof around his neck. “Forget her, dude. Tell you what, I bet you we can find ten hot and needy mares for you at the fair before sundown. You game?“

* * *

Water and darkness surrounded her on all sides, swallowed her, filled her up. Even as she struggled for her life, struggled to breathe through the choking water flooding her lungs, that lonely face haunted her vision still with its eyes. It was all she could see, all she would ever see again. She flailed wildly, desperately. She knew not up from down, and she was alone, as she had been all her life.

Upon her last breath, as her body sank, her thoughts turned to others. Those she had wronged, never spared a thought except for how they could aid or hinder her plans. All she ever wanted was a chance, a chance to turn it around, to have a friend. Just for one brief moment.

A lonely star shone on the far horizon as the ocean carried her upon its waves. But she would never look upon it.

Elsewhere, in times and places distant from her, Rainbow Dash looked over her shoulder at the flaming orange glow lighting up the dark sky as she ran, columns of dark smoke blotting out the moon.