Mare in the Mirror

by adcoon

1. Lost in Reflection

The bleak, clinging darkness of the moist earth wrapped around her body like a tomb. Her unblinking eyes saw only the deep blackness of the void, but down here she had no need to see. Down here she was in control. Down here nothing escaped her notice or the reach of her strings. Motionless she lay, as she had lain in wait for ages too long to count. It was only a matter of time. She had no need for action. Everything would come to her, and when that time came …

The slightest tremor and her mind snapped to attention. A desperate twitching and pulling of strings signaled the moment she had been waiting for. Her long, sensitive legs moved, feeling ahead of her as she crept forth; the glacial advance of a true predator on the hunt. The smell of fear excited her, set fires of lust alight within her black heart. But she was in no hurry to get to the conclusion. No, there would be no escape now. She would enjoy every moment of this.

Her legs touched something soft and warm in the dark. The twitching froze immediately, and the soft bundle turned hard, every muscle and fiber in its body tensing at the touch of something unknown, something unseen and sinister. She pulled back her legs and crawled in an arc around her victim. She could sense the frantic beatings of its heart, pounding in abject terror as it listened with bated breath for its invisible hunter. How it exhilarated her! Coming to a halt she lay down, waiting in silence. Soon … soon it would dare to look. Dare to hope for an escape.

A hesitant glow sprung up in the dark, shining from the tip of a horn, fearful of what it would reveal. A pair of violet eyes peeked out into the tunnel, wide with terror. The lavender unicorn breathed heavily as it twitched and fought against the sticky strings wrapping around its adrenalin-pumped body, strings holding it with no hope of escape. Cold sweat ran down its body in streams.

“I've never been good with ropes.” A familiar voice, a broken memory, random and unimportant. She shed the thought from her mind as she crept closer, an inch at a time, moving up from behind on the unsuspecting pony. Her shadow fell upon the mare, and it stiffened like a board as its eyes turned upwards. The pony shrieked and fought as she grabbed it swiftly between her legs, but no one would ever hear its cries for help, no one would ever know its final fate.

The pony struggled and fought, tears soaking its cheeks. She held it and felt its soft, warm body and the pounding of blood just beneath the skin. It was almost sensual. So fragile, so helpless in her grip. Her fangs pierced the skin and sank deep into its tender flesh. She felt it twitching one last time before it went limp in her deadly embrace. She held it close and gingerly stroked its mane as she spun her web tightly around its body. It was already growing colder. Soon it would feed her, soon she would feast upon its delicate flesh.

* * *

The life's blood flowed freely as she tore the softened flesh and crushed the bones in a euphoric frenzy of savage lust. She felt how it filled her up, felt her body swell, bloated and black. A void had been filled, and the pony had served its fateful purpose. Soon only splintered bones and sinews would remain, but she … she was not done yet.

* * *

Trixie woke with a shriek and sat up in the bed. Her heart was pounding and her breath was frantic as she looked around the dark room in a panic. It took her mind a few seconds to realize what was happening and where she was.

A pale light filtered through the circular window in the star-covered ceiling, giving the appearance of looking up at the full moon in the night sky. It was the only source of light, and while it was day outside only a faint light came through the painted glass.

Antique furniture and endless curiosities and memorabilia filled the room; bookcases stuffed full with old tomes, an old desk overflowing with scrolls, and the large semi-circular bed all featured prominently.

Waking up in these luxurious but admittedly completely disorganized settings still left Trixie feeling like she had awoken in a different age, an age of chaos and entirely too many impressions. But this was Luna's private quarters, a little look into the princess' life that very few ponies ever witnessed.

“—dear?”

Trixie's mind only now registered the teal eyes looking at her with concern. Luna sat up next to her and gently rubbed her back.

“It's okay, you're safe. It was only a dream.”

Trixie glanced down at herself. She was a total mess, wrapped in sheets and drenched in cold sweat, but thankfully she had only four legs and no fangs. She closed her eyes and sighed. She felt little comfort despite Luna's presence but slowly regained her breath a little.

The ghastly visions of the nightmare still burned clearly in her mind. What did they mean? It had been almost two months since the tragedy in Dappleshore, more than two weeks since her grand performance and the official funeral for the victims. She and Luna had spent almost all the time since then together, trying to comfort and help each other move on, but she couldn't put Twilight out of her mind. The memory still plagued her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Luna's voice was steeped in genuine concern, and the princess moved a little closer to her, placing a wing around her back.

Trixie shook her head a little and buried it in Luna's thick mane as she let the tears flow freely. She just wanted to cry, to let go of everything for now. Luna's flowing hair and silken coat smelled faintly of Echinopsis flowers, the sweet and exotic fragrance that Luna favored and which Trixie had come to long for whenever she felt sad.

She hated feeling like this, so Small and Weak. She did her best to appear strong and confident in public—she was a princess now, for the first time in her life truly Great and Powerful—but whenever she was alone with Luna she just let it all go. It was all she could do to stay sane.

“It seemed so real,” she muttered, the voice muffled and weak.

“The important thing is that it wasn't,” Luna whispered and gave her a loving squeeze.

Trixie sighed and turned a little, opening her eyes to glance at some point in the distance past the collection of favorite socks and an old plush Celestia with more patch than pony, in fact barely recognizable as equine. She had found both rather funny a few weeks ago when Luna came out of the hospital and they moved back here, but she couldn't even manage a weak smile now.

Luna rubbed her shoulder and kissed her cheek. “Go get a little water in your face while I get some fresh blankets. You'll feel better in the evening.”

Trixie untangled herself from the bedsheets and crawled out of bed, staggering across the room and into the adjacent bathroom while Luna remade the bed. Walking as if halfway in a trance she turned on the faucet and dipped a hoof in the cool, refreshing water as it began to fill the glass basin.

She stood for a while with eyes closed, breathing slowly while the water lapped softly, singing its song to her. When it was full she leaned over and let her face dip below the surface for a brief instant. Pulling back up she let out a long sigh as she buried her face in a thick hoof towel. The water was refreshing, and she felt a little better, but it didn't put her mind at ease.

With another sigh, Trixie looked up into the old, silver-framed mirror hanging above the water. As her eyes fell upon the reflection before her she froze in an instant and dropped the towel with a choked shriek.

Looking out at her with large sorrowful eyes was a young lavender-coated unicorn, still without her cutie mark. Trixie stumbled back in a panic, slipping on the floor and falling on her haunches as she held up her hooves over her eyes.

“Trixie …” the young filly called out, her voice quivering.

“Trixie!”

* * *

Trixie shuffled the alfalfa around her plate. The light purple flowers suddenly reminded her a little too well of Twilight, the thought making her feel sick deep inside. She sighed and pushed the plate away. She would have to tell the kitchen to find something else for her in the future, though she doubted it would make much of a difference. The image of her poison-dripping fangs piercing purple skin and sinking into Twilight's soft flesh had burned itself into her mind and left her with no appetite.

“You should eat something,” Luna said as she looked at the untouched alfalfa.

They were sitting together in the private dining hall. The massive table was much too large for two ponies, but it was one of the most quiet places in the castle. Only on rare occasions did anypony other than the three alicorns and their personal servants come here, and the drapery and other decor seemed to have a muffling effect on the room.

“You'll feel better, trust me,” Luna continued. “I could have Silver Plate prepare something else for you, if you like. He's always happy to help and to get a chance at being creative.”

Trixie's eyes lingered on the plate. She felt a lump form in her throat as she uttered the words going through her mind. “Maybe … I already ate.”

Luna looked confused. “What do you mean?”

She shook her head and closed her eyes, trying to force the image from her mind. “I feel like, perhaps I betrayed Twilight. I let her down and maybe, in a way, I … ate her.”

Luna was staring at her, or so she imagined. It must have sounded crazy. She opened her eyes but instead found Luna looking at the alfalfa with an expression on her face suggesting she was trying to figure out a connection.

Trixie sighed and continued. “I failed Twilight. Maybe I could have done something. Instead I waited. And then, when she died, I … took her magic, her … soul. I ate her, like … some kind of vampire? Maybe I lost my own soul, that's what vampires are, isn't it? Soulless monsters.”

The deep concern on Luna's face was evident. She pushed her own plate away and reached out to take Trixie's hooves in hers. “Trixie, you are not a monster! And you didn't let Twilight down, or … eat her. She loved you dearly, and she gave you her very soul when she died. It was a gift, it was given not taken. I know if she had felt you let her down she would never have given you such a gift. Her soul lives on through you, and I'm sure she would want nothing else than for you to be happy.”

Trixie lay her head in Luna's hooves and closed her eyes. “I could have done something, though. I should have done something, but I came too late to save her. Far too late.”

Luna nuzzled her cheek a little. “If anypony failed her, Trixie, it was me and me alone. I should have listened to my sister when she warned me not to delve into Twilight's family. Instead I continued behind her back. I should have talked to her the instant I noticed something was up, but I didn't want her to know I had been lying to her.”

“If anything—” Luna sighed. “If anything, you should be blaming and hating me.”

Trixie gave Luna's hooves a little comforting rub. It wasn't much, but her heart felt too heavy.

Luna responded with a gentle sigh. “I know I certainly blame myself all the time, but I also know there's nothing I can do to change the past. And even the wisest cannot tell what may have been. Maybe it wouldn't have made a difference.”

Trixie looked up at her. It was almost too much effort just to lift her head. “Celestia knew about Twilight's family?”

Luna shrugged. “She warned me when I was digging through the archives here in Canterlot. Said some things were best left in the past. I think it may just have been because of my own history. I think she just wants me to not get too tangled up in things of the past, whether it's my own or somepony else's. And I now see why … it's not healthy to dwell too much on the past.”

A dull, heavy silence settled over the room. Trixie thought about how Twilight had become obsessed with the past. Perhaps Luna was right, but it didn't ease her pain. “Do you think Celestia could have done something? If … If she had known, I mean.”

“I don't know,” Luna said after a while. She didn't seem sure of what to say, and Trixie felt a little sorry for asking such a painful question. “Maybe, but the thing you have to understand about Celestia is that everypony likes to think she's perfect and that she's all-powerful. In their eyes she's a goddess. But really, I think many would be disappointed with the truth.”

Trixie tilted her head, “What do you mean? I always thought—”

Luna smiled softly. “Celestia raises the sun, that's her special talent after all, and she has a knack for the magics of warmth and light. She's also a passionate teacher and a skilled politician, as well as a wonderful pony in general. But beyond that, she's not all that special.”

“I don't think Twilight quite grasped how much she impressed Celestia with her magic, because outside her own special niche, which is the sun and the lands of Equestria, Celestia is not too different from any other unicorn. She's older and wiser than most, certainly, but she's very much not a fighting mare, and not just because that's something she's had little need to practice.”

Trixie blinked, letting her mind grasp what Luna was saying. It actually made sense, but she—like everypony else, no doubt—had never thought of Celestia that way.

Luna nodded, as if reading her mind. “Remember, I defeated her not once but twice as Nightmare Moon. The first time she had to get the aid of five other ponies and an ancient relic because she couldn't stand against the Nightmare on her own. The second time it was Celestia's student and her friends, not Celestia herself, who defeated Nightmare Moon.”

“Maybe she could have convinced Twilight to give up her obsession with Midnight, but beyond that, once it started to go really wrong, I don't know if she would have been able to do anything more than what we did. Who knows,” Luna paused with a sigh, “maybe by not involving her I saved her from becoming yet another casualty in that tragic mess. That tiny possibility is how I try to cope with my past choices.”

“That, and you,” she smiled at Trixie, “in whom at least a little part of Twilight lives on.”

There was a gentle knock on one of the doors to the dining hall. They both looked up as Celestia peeked in and smiled at them. “I'm not disturbing anything, am I?”

Luna smiled brightly. “Oh no, not much, we were just having a bout of Alfalfa Wrestling in the nude. I thought you were busy with the Zebrica dignitaries this evening. That was today, was it not?”

Celestia chuckled. “Yes, I came to let you know that they requested your presence during these deliberations. I told them you would attend. I don't think they mind it being … in the nude, but you may want to leave out the alfalfa.”

“Way to ruin my evening, sis.” Luna leaned over to give Trixie a kiss. “Duty calls, my dear. Maybe you should go see Silver Plate about the food? I'll be back later … for a dress-up, maybe?” She winked and grinned at Celestia who merely rolled her eyes.

Trixie smiled a little as Luna got up and followed Celestia out. As the door closed behind them she slumped back down over the table, closing her eyes.

Luna's words seemed to have calmed her. Perhaps she was right, perhaps it was best to put the past behind her. Maybe things could have been worse after all. She hoped that thought would make her feel better and let her rest easy.

After a while she got up and trotted out of the door towards the kitchen. Maybe something sweet wouldn't be too bad.

* * *

“So how is Trixie doing?”

Celestia was walking slowly as they made their way through the corridors of the castle towards the meeting with the zebras. The dignitaries were enjoying a break from discussions, and it was clear that Celestia wished to take the time to talk with her sister.

Luna walked next to her, trying to put on her most professional face for the meeting ahead. She still preferred to leave such things to Celestia who was by far the more experienced diplomat than her. “I think everything that's happened has affected her deeply. Twilight's death really haunts her, but I think she just needs more time.”

“It has been a terrible experience for us all.” Celestia's eyes betrayed the deep wounds Twilight's death had left, and the grief she obviously felt from the mention of it. “No doubt her transformation, and being thrown into the life of royalty so suddenly, has also affected her. It can't be easy, but I'm glad to hear you think she'll manage.”

“Still,” Celestia looked at Luna, “I would like you to keep an eye on her.”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “Keep an eye on her? Why, if I didn't know you better, sister, I would say that sounded quite underhoofed. Shall I brief the secret service about her?”

Celestia smiled and paused in the hallway, turning to Luna. There were no others around. Most of the staff were busy with their duties elsewhere. “I didn't mean it like that. But with everything that's happened—and we still don't know the full effects your blood magic may have had on her, or yourself for that matter—I'll just rest a little easier knowing that you're both well.”

Celestia placed a hoof on Luna's shoulder. “And I hope you both know that you can always come to me if there is anything. Anything at all.”

Luna gave her sister a knowing smile. “You didn't really want to talk about Trixie, did you?”

Celestia chuckled gently, though it was tinged by a serious undertone. “I'm not that transparent, am I? No, I really hoped to talk about you.” Her features turned grave, the lightheartedness vanishing like dew before the sun, but the hint of kindness remained in her eyes. “I'm worried for you, Luna, and I'll be quite blunt. The things that happened in Dappleshore, and the things you did, it hurts me that you went behind my back, and that you dabbled in those kinds of magic after everything we've been through.”

Luna was about to respond, but Celestia stopped her. They had been over that already. “I want you to know that you can trust me, sister. I don't want you to fear me. You know I'm not going to punish you for what you do. I just want to help you. I know these things draw you. I know the shadows you fight with in your heart. They are things that no pony should have to deal with alone. And I know you have Trixie now, but she has her own things she's dealing with.”

Luna's eyes were a little harder than usual as they met Celestia's. “You still have doubts about our relationship?”

“I am not opposed to you and Trixie, I really hope you don't think I am. I admit I still find it odd to see my little sister with another mare, and many may not find is so easy to accept, but it does not concern me. It truly warms my heart to see you have found love, and I'd be joyed to see it bloom. But I have concerns. It just seems rather sudden.”

“Tragic events tend to bring ponies together,” Luna said, defensively.

Celestia nodded. “Yes, and you have shared much in the short time you've been together, I can not deny that. But—” She paused as a servant came trotting down the hall carrying a large flower decoration. When the pony saw the two princesses and the look on Celestia's face, she quickly turned around and hurried back the way she came.

Celestia waited a moment before speaking again. “I can not help but fear that when you look upon Trixie, who you're really seeing is Twilight.”

Luna took a little step back. “That's not true!” Celestia watched her reaction with concern. A few tears gathered in the corners of Luna's eyes. “I love Trixie! D-Don't say I don't!”

“Luna …” Celestia stepped up to her and drew her close, wrapping her wings around her. “You owe it to Trixie to be honest with yourself. I'm not saying you don't love each other, but I am saying that you need to give yourself, and her, enough time, and that you both need others in your lives, too. You hide from the world, from those around you, and from yourself. You need to start opening up to yourself and others.”

Luna remained silent in Celestia's embrace, holding back tears.

“Please, Luna. At the very least you can always come to me. No matter what. But I really hope you will consider what I have said.”

* * *

The royal kitchen was buzzing with activity as everypony was busy preparing the special dinner in honor of the Zebrica visitors. Despite this, the ponies milling about all stopped to bow as Trixie pushed the door open and looked inside. The gesture was only brief, however, as they all went back to work just as quickly. The foreign visit left little time to waste.

Trixie couldn't deny that she enjoyed being shown such respect. During her days on the road she had always dreamed of ponies bowing in respect or cheering loudly whenever she showed herself. But they never had, especially not after the Ursa incident. She straightened up and smiled as she stood tall.

An elderly gray-coated, silver-maned earth pony came out from one of the side rooms and bowed upon seeing her. “My Lady, what do we owe this visit to the kitchen?”

Trixie had met Silver Plate, the royal master chef, many times since she came to the castle, but never really spoken with him. She kept her appearance of royal dignity as she gave a simple nod. “I came by to hear if you had something sweet and … not purple, definitely not purple.”

Silver Plate merely confirmed with a nod, displaying no surprise at the request. His job, aside from overseeing the normal duties of the kitchen, was to accommodate the royal whims as best he could, and he had no doubt had plenty of unusual and unexplained requests from the royal sisters in his long career.

“Of course, My Lady. May I ask if something was wrong with this day's alfalfa?”

Trixie shook her head. “Oh no, I simply find myself with no appetite for alfalfa of late. In fact, while I am here, I would like to request a change of the evening menu in the future. Nothing purple.”

The chef nodded again. “As the Lady wishes. So then, what may we treat you to today? If you desire something sweet, we are having a wonderfully exotic desert of bananas in a sweet and sour orange liquor with coconut topping, on the occasion of the Zebrica visit. Nothing purple, I assure the Lady.”

Trixie resisted the temptation to lick her lips. It sounded unusual and delicious, and Trixie didn't think she had ever had anything as exotic as bananas and coconut. On the other hoof, it sounded awfully unwieldy for what she had in mind. “That sounds delicious. Perhaps I shall sample it later, but do you perhaps have something suited for a snack in the gardens?”

The chef considered the request patiently. “We have the usual selection of cupcakes and other treats available, of course, and on this occasion we also have an assortment of cupcakes with orange and lime frosting, if that could tempt the royal tongue. And if the Lady desires something more fancy, we can certainly make or acquire it.”

“Cupcakes will be fine, sir. Orange and lime sounds perfect.” She paused. ”And I would like a hay smoothie on the side, thank you.”

“As you wish, My Lady.” The chef bowed deeply and walked back into one of the side rooms. He came back a little later with a collection of cupcakes and a hay smoothie on a plate. It was all a lot fancier than what Trixie had been used to in her travels, and way too fancy for a picnic, but Trixie fully enjoyed the service. “Is there anything else we can get, Your Highness?”

“These will do nicely, thank you, and be sure to give my compliments to the kitchen.” The old stallion smiled and bowed again as Trixie walked out of the kitchen with her cupcakes floating beside her.

* * *

Trixie wandered through the grand royal gardens with her cupcakes, looking for a quiet place to sit and relax. She had spent a lot of time in the garden with Luna, who had shown her all the flowers that bloomed during the night. It was usually a quiet place at night, but during the day there were ponies tending the many flowers and all the animals. They all bowed their heads to her as she passed, and Trixie couldn't help but bask in the attention.

Finally, after several minutes of wandering around, Trixie found a quiet section of the garden surrounding a small decorative pond. She walked down towards and around the water, trying to settle on a good spot to sit down.

As she was trotting along her eyes settled upon the calm water. She could see the surrounding trees reflected in its dark surface quite clearly, but something caused her to pause. She stopped and blinked. Carefully she edged closer to the pond, leaning her head over the water. As she stared into the watery mirror, she felt the fear of earlier grip her heart. Staring into the calm blue surface of the water, Trixie saw no reflection of herself.

Trixie closed her eyes and tried to breathe calmly. Maybe it was just a trick of the light. It had to be, what other explanation could there be? She opened her eyes again and nervously peeked into the water.

She nearly screamed as a young filly with large violet eyes now stared back at her where before had been emptiness. She stumbled back and sat down with her heart pounding in her throat, eyes fixated upon the spot where she had been standing. She couldn't see anything from where she was now sitting.

“Calm down, Trixie … maybe there's a perfectly good explanation. M-maybe she just wants to talk.”

She stood up on shaking legs and hesitated for a long time, then she stepped over to the water and peered down into the mirror. The purple filly looked back up at her with sadness in her eyes.

Trixie tried to be calm as she spoke with the most confident voice she could muster. “W-who are you?” It wasn't very confident at all. Her voice sounded hollow and nearly drowned out in the quiet of the garden, or swallowed up in the abyss of those deep purple eyes.

The filly sat there in the water, looking at Trixie. Even before she spoke, Trixie knew the answer. The voice was as familiar as the face, despite her youth. “I'm Twilight … Twilight Sparkle.”

Trixie leaned closer. “H-Hello Twilight. My name is T-Trixie.”

Comments

[Xxcreed]

i like this book