You're safe now

by crank1116

1. Sweet Release

CHAPTER 1
A SWEET RELEASE

It was a long and hot walk for the pony, but after an hour he found himself at the outskirts of a very large onion farm. The pony’s mission, talk to a griffon by the name of Aldo to entice him on a very lucrative business venture. as the pony walked further he could see other griffons tending fields and giving the occasional scowl as he trotted by. The house the pony was looking for was off a good distance. The smell of onions getting stronger as the pony got closer. Finally reaching the house he was looking for. The pony knocked on the door and to his surprise a little white pegasus with a black mane answered the door.

“Hello, I’m Melody who are you?” said the pegasus filly.

“Well hello young one my name is Pin Point. Is your mommy or daddy here by chance?” replied Pin Point.

“MELODY!!! What have I told you about opening the door without permission!” said a very upset sounding mare voice from inside of the door.

The little pony rubbed her foreleg and with a very apologetic look on her face, “ Sorry mommy.”

“That’s ok now go finish reading your book,” said the Melody’s mother as she opened the door wider to reveal that she was a white unicorn with three shades of lavender in her mane. “Hello, is there something I can help you with?” she said.

“Greetings and salutations to you this fine day my name is Pin Point. I represent the Manehatten Produce Society, MaPS if you will. Our motto is ‘If MaPs don’t have it how will you find it?’ Yes, Yes corny I know but my boss tells me to say it everytime I entertain possible clients." Taking off his hat to show his pale blue mane underneath he asked, “By chance is the griffon of the house in?”

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Pin Point was let in and guided to the living room. “Aldo is upstairs. He will be down momentarily. May I take your coat?” Said the unicorn mare.

“Yes, but only under one condition.”

“What.”

“You must tell me your name.”

With a slight smile she said,”Sweetie Belle.”

“Sweetie Belle is it. Well I am sure to remember that name,” Pin Point said with a kind smile.
As Pin Point handed Sweetie Belle his coat she got her first glimpse at the pony standing before her. A very muscular grey coated earth pony. Sweetie had to catch herself staring at Pin Point. He turned around to see Sweetie in a bit of a daydream and that’s when he saw the ring on her horn. Sweetie recovered from her trance, looked at Pin Point and slightly blushed as she fixed her mane to cover the ring.

Just then Aldo comes down the stairs with a perplexed look on his face. “Are you the representative that MaPS sent here to talk onions?”

“Yes sir that's me, Pin Point here to talk to you about a great business deal I sure you will not refuse.” He stated.

“Great we can talk business after supper. I hope you like onion soup,” said Aldo.

“Sir l….(growl),” Pin Point put a hooves across his stomach, “I guess that answers your question.”

The griffon laughed as he approach the earth pony. The two shook hooves and talons. It felt awkward but it was all in the line of business.

As the griffon and earth pony discuss business and profits during supper Pin Point couldn't help but notice Sweetie Belle and the way she presented supper. Making sure that everyone was served before eating herself. An occasional stare came across the diner table. When Sweetie eyes met up with Pin point she would quickly look down into her bowl. Aldo on the other hand wasn't paying attention to the staring contest. Instead he was beak first into his bowl.

Pin Point was the first to break the eating silence,”Your wife is an excellent cook.”

Aldo with a loud slurp put down his bowl and said,”M-my wi…..oh oh yeah wife. She is the best.” Aldo said blowing Sweetie Belle a kiss with a piece of onion hanging from his beak.

After supper Pin Point and Aldo walked into the living room as Sweetie Belle finished cleaning the kitchen and put Melody to bed. When Sweetie came back down she sat on the far side of the couch away from Aldo and started to read a fashion magazine. Aldo gave her a bit of a scowl, but returned his attention to Pin Point. Their main concern was on business right now. “So what would be the next step for my business to be ever more successful than what it is now,” Aldo stated.

Pin Point took a deep breath and said, “For that to happen we need to stop lying to each other.”

Aldo looked at Pin Point in pure confusion,”Lies? What lies?”

“First of all let me put your mind at ease,” stated Pin Point “My name is Pin Point. I don’t work for MaPS. My purpose in life is to find lost or missing things. Key, loose change, left socks, and in most cases lost or abducted ponies.”

Pin Point looked into the griffon eyes. He hit a nerve.

Pin Point continued,”See the cutie mark, the pin point circle. That means my business is to find lost ponies and let me tell you business is GOOD! So now I told you my lie your turn.”

Aldo said flatley,”I have no reason to lie. So what is your purpose here if you are looking for lost socks. We don't even wear socks.”

“I’m glad you asked that,” Pin Point said with a chuckle,”You see about 5 years ago 3 fillies just end up disappearing and no one knew what happened to them. Now about 4 years ago a break in the story came up to where an ex wonderbolt was found with a picture of the missing pony in a most unprovocative position.”

“Did they say who it was?” Sweetie Belle exclaimed

With a sad look on his face Pin Point said,”No sorry after the wonderbolt was arrested the case went cold again. However the pegasus got what he deserved,” Pin Point let out a wry chuckle the whole time looking at Aldo,” a rainbow maned member of the team beat him to an inch of his life. I mean cracked ribs, broke nose, and some other injuries I just can't think of right now. I'm sorry, I'm rambling now let's get back to your lie.”

Again Aldo replied,”What did I lie about?”

“Your relationship with Sweetie Belle here,” stated Pin Point,”you two aren't married. For one where is your wedding band Aldo? Unless griffons don't believe in wedding bands. Two look at the ring Sweetie Belle has on her horn. I can tell from here it's made of bronze with an amethyst jewel embedded inside. That's mostly used to keep a unicorn from using her magic. The evidence of the night was at supper not once did she levitate a bowl spoon or ladle. So let's get the truth out. Sweetie Belle is your slave and you are keeping her against her will and I am here to bring her home.”

Aldo laughed as tears started to fall from Sweetie Belle's face. She always hoped that one day someone would come along and help in her escape, however Pin Point would never be able to free her and Melody by himself.

Just then Pin Point pulled out a locket he had hidden around his neck. “Sweetie Belle catch,” Pin Point yelled as he tossed the locket just out of Aldo's reach. It landed in Sweetie's lap. As she picked it up she recognized it as the locket Rarity gave her for the last Sister Hoof Social the two sisters did together.

“I remember this,” Sweetie Belle said more tears coming from her eyes.

It was a gold heart shaped locket with a picture of Rarity and Sweetie Belle hugging each other smiling with ice cream all over their faces inside. Adjacent to the picture was an inscription, ‘To my first prize sister.’

“Rarity gave this to me after we lost the relay race at the social. I was feeling really bad and she gave me this,” said Sweetie with more tears,” I-I t-thought I lost……”

“Give me that,” just then Aldo grabbed the locket,” you don't need anything from your old life you have a good one, no a great one here with me. So Mr. Pin Point I do believe you have overstayed your welcome I think you should leave. Oh, and take this locket with you.

Aldo tossed the locket back at Pin Point who didn't flinch he caught the locket in his hoof. Pin Point took a deep breath and said,” When I leave Sweetie Belle and Melody will leave with me.” He looked at a clock on the wall and continued,” As a matter of fact we will be leaving in 15 minutes and you won't stop us. In fact you will open the door for us.”

Aldo laughed so hard he was short of breath. Recovering from his laugh fit he said,” And how are you so sure I'm going to do that?”

Pin Point smiled,”let me break it down for you. 1. In 15 minutes a signal will be transmitted to the princess of friendship letting her know my exact location. 2. Within 5 hours the 4 princesses of the land, 5 very angry elements of harmony, a squadron of wonderbolts, a dragon, and numbers of family members will be at your front door looking for blood. Now I know you're asking how can they know you and Sweetie Belle all the way out here. That's easy look at your talons.”

As Aldo looked at his talons they started to glow as well as Sweetie Belle's hooves.

“You see Mr. Aldo when you touched the locket you activated the locator spell,” said Pin Point with a straight face,”No matter where you go or try to hide you will be found and I would feel sorry for you if you lost your title as onion baron. However in 10 minutes it won't matter. Now I'm going outside to smoke one. I'll give you time to contemplate the situation. Remember 9 minutes.”

Pin Point put his hat and coat and stepped outside the house. Rummaging through his pocket he finds his favorite cigar and a match. As he's lights up he can hear slight murmurs through the house. Just then the door opens, out comes Sweetie Belle tears in her eyes, a small luggage in her mouth, and a sleep pegasus filly wrapped in a blanket on her back. Pin Point takes the luggage and puts it on his back.

“You're safe now”

Author's Note:

Greetings and salutations to all. As you may have noticed this is my first published story. It took me 3 years to finally write something for public veiwing. I hope you like it.

Comments

[Aasha]

It's a very quick-and-simple fix, isn't it? I think a more interesting way of telling this concept would be to go through the story of him tracking Sweetie Belle down to Aldo's mansion. By that I mean that it could be made into a story that could be an adventure of it's own.

I promise I don't want to sound negative; I'm trying to give my take on this to help you as a new writer. And so far I've only read the first chapter.
There's just not much to read if he just appears on the doorstep, talks a bit, and everyone is intimidated into letting him leave with her as short and sweet as that.
I bet it probably felt good to write it though.

[crank1116]

I'm just starting out. This is my first attempt of actually publishing something and I feel I'll get better the more I write. I come up with ideas all the time I just haven't put them to my tablet yet. Maybe if I had someone to help me or someone I could run ideas through I can make a better story. However the only other person I can never tell my stories to is my son. So I'm doing what I can and still driving an 18-wheeler down the highway.

[Wandering Twilight]

I liked it!