Her Illustrious Highness

by Macon Mixx

Her Illustrious Highness - Chapter 3

Her Illustrious Highness
By Macon Mixx

Chapter 3

The workings of the Equestrian autocracy were complex. Small amounts of power were dispersed among the masses at the bottom, while ultimate authority rested with Princess Celestia at the top. On the local level, the common ponies had a large degree of self-determination, particularly in the chartered cities and towns. At the regional level, governance was split between the royal descendants of the princesses and the wealthy and powerful tribunes who were elected to represent the commons. Finally, on the national level, decisions were debated and bills drafted by the courtiers, but all bills required the signature of Celestia to become law. In theory, Luna's power was to equal that of Celestia, but since her return and defeat as Nightmare Moon, Luna had yet to claim her rightful place in the political sphere.

Being a landless noble of the lowest standing, Star Swirl was devoid of any influence in the Equestrian provinces. Instead, Swirl threw all her energy into serving the royal court at Canterlot. She could count on her hooves the number of times she had been absent when court was in session, which was quite a feat considering the fact that ponies have only four hooves. She was always among the first courtiers to arrive and the last to retire. When there was an agenda, she memorized it beforehand. When there was none, she made it her business to find out what matters had come up that might be presented to the court. She had even gone to court in the dark on the fateful day of the Summer Sun Celebration when Nightmare Moon attacked! Of course, she was the only pony there, but Swirl wasn't going to let eternal night spoil her near-perfect record of attendance. In short, there was nopony among the entire royal family who took court as seriously as Star Swirl.

On this particular morning, however, Swirl was skipping court.

She hadn't meant to do so. Not consciously, at any rate. Unlike most of the royals, who used unicorn magic to power their alarm clocks, Swirl had to wind hers by hoof every night. But it had been such a late night, and one filled with so many emotions, that when she finally arrived back at her room in the palace she had forgotten to wind it. It hadn't gone off, and Swirl hadn't gotten up. When she finally did get out of bed, court had already been in session for over an hour.

The doors to the court were barred as soon as Celestia took her throne, and no one could come in unless summoned. Normally, Swirl would have been distraught to have missed it--She could no longer say that bit about counting her missed days on her hooves!--But after the abuse she had suffered last night at the reception for the Wyrmish ambassador, she had no desire to see her amicus, Lady Violet, any time soon. Swirl was going to see a real friend. She was going into town to visit Purple Streamer.

-----

Having her entire day free, on account of missing court, Star Swirl decided to enjoy the city and take an alternate route to Purple Streamer's Party Dress Emporium. It wasn't long before she found herself walking, nose to the sky, in the style of a Manehattan tourist. The spires, archways, and elevated gardens of Canterlot were truly beautiful, and Star Swirl took them in much the same way that a newborn foal would gaze upon her mother's face. Despite having grown up there, Swirl knew little about the city of Canterlot other than what could be seen over the palace walls. As a filly, she had almost never been allowed outside, and even as an adult mare, such trips were discouraged. Generally, if the royals had business to do in the city proper, they sent a servant to do it for them. Star Swirl, not having any servants, was one of the few who ever visited town at all. But those trips were as infrequent and as business-like as possible. Everything she was seeing today was new. The shops, the ponies, the thirty foot billboard with her face on it....

The thirty foot billboard with my face on it?! Swirl thought with a start. How in Equestria did Purple Streamer get those up there so quickly? Our photo shoot was just yesterday!

Star Swirl felt herself starting to wilt. Her perfect, sunny day, was suddenly hit with a thunderhead's worth of embarrassment. Fear and surprise rained down, illuminated by flashes of self-doubt and punctuated by the rolling cry of insecurity. She wanted to run back to the palace and hide. Court no longer sounded like such a dreadful place to be. At least she wouldn't have to look at herself! But knowing that the doors were closed, and remembering the way the guards reacted the last time she tried to sneak in late by digging a tunnel under the moat, Star Swirl decided she would just have to pony-up and face her fears. It was now or never.

Just focus on the other ponies, Swirl thought to herself. You can do this. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. No one here knows you. Just relax and enjoy yourself.

"POPCORN! GET YOUR POPCORN HERE! POPCORN! MAKE IT A HEALTHY BREAKFAST, OR A LATE MORNING SNACK! POPCORN! GET YOUR POPCORN!"

The street vendor was standing not more than two ponies-length away, and Star Swirl felt like he was yelling specifically at her. Still, a snack would be the perfect way to distract herself.

"One bag please. Your smallest popcorn," Swirl said.

"SURE THING MISS! THAT'LL BE FOUR BITS!" the middle-aged unicorn shouted.

"Of course, just one..."

Swirl's cheeks turned red as she realized that she hadn't bothered to bring her coin purse with her. After all, it doesn't do much good to carry a perfectly empty coin purse.

"Oh! I seem to um... I think I left my... Oh, I'm so sorry!" Swirl gushed, backing away from the popcorn stand.

"ALRIGHT, WELL COME BY AGAIN ON PAYDAY. I'LL HAVE A FRESH BAG FOR YA'!"

Swirl blushed even more as the old loudmouth announced to everyone within a hundred feet that she didn't have any money. She looked behind her. Half a dozen ponies were sitting outside a small restaurant, staring at her and whispering to their friends. She felt the return of her temptation to bolt for the palace. But this turn of events made her want to see Purple Streamer even more than before, and the week she had spent in the anti-terrorism unit's containment cell after trying to sneak into court late really had been one of the worst weeks in her life--at least the fourth worst, maybe the third--and she didn't want to re-live it any time soon.

Star Swirl decided to forget all about what just happened and continue exploring the city. Unbeknownst to her, several of the ponies who had noticed her conversation with the street vendor left their tables at the open-air cafe to follow her.

-----

The street that Star Swirl was following opened up into a large plaza with a garden in the center. As beautiful as it was, it couldn't hold a candle to the gardens within the walls of the palace, but to Swirl, it was gorgeous. In her entire life, the only gardens she had ever seen up close were the gardens of the palace. Though they were among the finest in Equestria, they had lost any novelty many, many years ago. A pony can only see the same gardens so many times before even the most beautiful plants in the world start to seem dull. This garden in the plaza, though, was something totally new.

On seeing the garden, Swirl broke out into a gallop. She nearly trampled an older mare while closing the gap between herself and the green oasis, and in her haste, completely missed the weathered tin sign that read "Please Do Not Graze on the Topiaries". She splashed through the edge of the koi pond in the heart of the garden. She felt the soft mulch beneath her hooves as she trotted along the garden path. She danced like a foal around the bush that had been trimmed and trained into the image of Princess Celestia. And then, she saw it. The most perfect daisy that had ever been or ever would be, its sunny yellow head crowned with white rays of peace and innocence. She paused in her revelry to contemplate its beauty, and then, she ate it.

It was just as delicious as it had been beautiful.

"Mommy! That lady is eating the flowers! Why can't I have one?!" said a young colt. Only now did Swirl realize that a dozen or so bystanders had been watching her romp through the garden, and most of them were now laughing and talking among themselves.

"Come now dear, you'll spoil your supper. No flowers until you finish your hay." the colt's mother replyed.

"But I want it now!" the boy cried.

"Press Tonne, am I going to have to take you home? You're making a scene. Everypony is staring at us!"

In truth, though, the only pony staring at the mother and son was Star Swirl. Everypony else was busy staring at her and talking openly between one and another. She quickly gulped down the half-chewed daisy she was holding in her mouth and smiled, out of instinct rather than any sense of happiness, as she tried to slink away and get lost in the crowd. She did a fine job of getting herself lost, but she failed to lose the ponies who had followed her from the open-air cafe. In fact, several new ponies from the plaza were now following her as well.

-----

As soon as Star Swirl escaped from the crowds milling around the plaza, it became evident that a good portion of that crowd had left behind their other pursuits and were now following her. There were at least two dozen of them now, trailing behind her and growing louder and more boisterous with every step. Swirl wasn't quite certain why so many ponies were following her, but she knew it couldn't be good. At best, they were all following her to mock her antics. At worst... Well, that wasn't really something she wanted to think about. As she found the way back to Purple Streamer's store, Swirl sped up to a brisk trot.

The ponies following her began to trot, too.

Trying not to lose her cool, Swirl began to canter.

The ponies following her began to canter, too.

Completely losing her composure, Swirl broke into a gallop.

The herd behind her, suddenly swelling to thirty or forty ponies, were galloping too, right down one of the busiest streets in Canterlot.

Swirl reached the door to Streamer's shop just as another pony stepped out of it. Running to fast to stop, she crashed head-long into her friend's customer. For the second time in as many days, Star Swirl felt her world going black.

-----

"I told you that was her!"

"Yes darling, you most certainly did!"

"Lemme see! Lemme see!"

"Hey! Don't everybody crowd the gal! Let 'er have some space!"

"Um, Miss Star Swirl? Are you gunna be okay?"

Star Swirl awoke to see a large crowd pressing in around her, held off from trampling her alive only by the valiant efforts of a purple earth pony with a striped mane.

"Streamer?" Swirl asked, weakly.

"Oh, thank Celestia! Yer awake! I've been tryin' to keep all these here ponies from crushin' ya', but I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to if this herd got much larger!"

Star Swirl, still dazed from her collision, started to sniffle, and then to cry.

"Whyyyyyyy?!" Swirl exclaimed, her cries punctuated by sniffles.

"Whyyy does everypony haaaaate meeeee?" Star Swirl could barely anunciate her words through her sobbing.

Purple Streamer looked on in amazement.

"Hate ya? Why, these ponies here love ya so much they're about ready to start killin' one anther just to get close to ya!"

The crying stopped.

"Why" *sniff* "would anyone" *sniff* "want to be close to me?" *sniffle*

"'Cause yer royalty, sugarcube! These ponies have all been hoping and praying for someone who can make a difference in their lives, and now they have you. Yer their guardian alicorn!"

Star Swirl looked up at her friend. It was her turn to be amazed.

"But Streamer! I'm a nopony in the court. How could I possibly be somepony's guardian alicorn?"

The party pony winked. "You were mine. I trust you can find a way to be helpin' them, too."

"You mean, the billboards, the ads... They're helping already?"

"Sure as sugar! I haven't had a day of sales this strong since the last Winter Moon celebration!"

"Well, I guess I can try, but I don't know how I can help them all at once!"

With that, the purple earth pony turned to face the crowd.

"YA'LL HEARD HER ILLUSTRIOUSNESS! SINGLE FILE LINE! NO CUTTIN', NO CHEATIN'! YA'LL ARE GUNNA GET YER TURN, NOW, YA HEAR?"

Swirl couldn't help but smile as her friend Streamer once again botched her style. The real matter at hand, though, was trying to find a way to help so many ponies. A single file line wasn't exactly what she had had in mind, but now that Purple Streamer had told everypony that she was going to help, Swirl didn't want to be the one to disappoint them. She just hoped she had enough time left in the day to talk with everyone in line. While she had been out, the herd surrounding her had grown to more than fifty ponies.

-----

Star Swirl made for quite a sight. She was sitting beneath a giant sign featuring her likeness, flanked by her friend-turned-bodyguard, in front of a line consisting of dozens of pony petitioners. After speaking with the first petitioner, she realized why she had been followed by such a large crowed. Being an earth pony, she had gone largely unnoticed by the native unicorns of Canterlot until Purple Streamer had plastered her face on billboards across the city. The advertisements, however, had made her into a celebrity over night. And not just any celebrity, but the kind who likes to help out the common pony. After all, she had helped out Purple Streamer by endorsing her shop. Perhaps, they hoped, she would be willing to help them, too. After all, there weren't many royals out and about in Canterlot. If there was any chance of receiving royal favor, it would have to be from her.

By the time she had spoken with her first three petitioners, she knew that there would be no way for her to help most of these ponies except to bring their petitions to the court. By the time she had spoken with the fifth petitioner, she was already beginning to forget what the first four had been petitioning for.

"Streamer, can I trouble you for some paper? There is simply no way I can remember all of these petitions unless I start writing them down!"

The young unicorn stallion who was next in line spoke up.

"I have some paper right here, Your Majesty!"

Star Swirl laughed. She was beginning to get used to her constantly-changing style. Perhaps she could use a different style for every day of the week!

"Actually, it's 'Your Illustrious Highness', but just 'Swirl' is fine!"

"Um, alright Miss Swirl. But I would be happy to take notes for you tonight!"

Swirl raised an eyebrow. It didn't take her years of experience in court to know what was happening.

"And in return, I suppose you want me to give extra consideration to your petition?"

The colt looked at his hooves and barely whispered his reply. "Yes."

Purple Streamer broke into her trademark impossibly-wide grin on seeing that her friend was able to play the political field so smoothly. Swirl began to smile, too, though not quite as widely as her friend.

"It's alright," Star Swirl reassured the unicorn. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. We all have things we want and dream of! Unfortunately, I can't promise to give your request special consideration, but I will promise to do my very best to get your petition and the petition of everypony here tonight before the princesses. Is that good enough for you?"

"Yeah, I suppose it is. Thanks Miss Swirl."

"Now, would you like to help me address everypony's request like I said I would?"

"Yes! Of course! How can I help?" the stallion asked, eagerly.

Swirl smiled again. "Get out that paper you just offered me and start taking notes!"

-----

After she had repeated to the young stallion the requests of the first five petitioners to be written down, he shared his own petition: The new paper tax was outrageous, and it was driving small-time scribes like him out of business. Was there anywhere else to find that revenue? Could the law be modified so that it didn't come down so hard on small businessponies?

A dozen petitioners later, her head was starting to spin with all the requests, but Swirl shook it off and continued. If she didn't do something to help these ponies, then who would? It's not like the other royals ever spoke with them.

No, Star Swirl would stick it out till the end. Or at least, until she could no longer hear the petitioners over the ever-increasing growls coming from her stomach. She was wishing with all her heart that she hadn't slept through breakfast! In fact, the only thing she had eaten all day was that daisy in the park. By the time Swirl had finished speaking with the thirty-fifth petitioner, her stomach was complaining more loudly than a river serpent who had lost his mustache.

Just then, petitioner number thirty six levitated a large chocolate cake topped with dollops of whipped cream, cherries, and a single candle on the ground in front of the young royal. Swirl sighed.

"Ah got this one for you, sugarcube," said Streamer.

Turning towards the unicorn petitioner, she intoned, "Her Illustrious Highness, Star Swirl, regrets to inform you that she cannot accept gifts or favors in return for consideration of your petition."

"Petition? Oh, I'm not here to petition. I was just so moved by seeing you out here among the common pony that I wanted to give you this! It's not much, really, but it was the nicest thing in my bakery when I saw you go by. I closed shop as quickly as I could and followed, though I have to say, it really hasn't done too well in this early afternoon sun."

Star Swirl wasn't sure which surprised her more, how delicious the cake still looked after being outside for the last two hours, or the fact that the unicorn had waited in line for that entire time to give it to her. She was so shocked, she was barely able to stammer a thank you.

"Oh, it's nothing Your Highness. Just my way of saying thanks!"

And with that, the unicorn trotted back to her bakery, leaving the royal mare and her small entourage to enjoy some cake and satisfy their rumbling tummies before continuing to hear petitions.

Several hours of petitioners later, the line had finally vanished and everypony besides Swirl, Streamer, and the unicorn scribe had gone home.

"Well Ms. Swirl, it looks like that was all of them! We have petitions here from seventy six different ponies. I guess a few must have joined the line after it formed!"

"I have to say, you really did a great job," Swirl said as she looked through the notes the unicorn had taken for her. She paused in her review and looked up at the scribe.

"You know, I don't think I ever caught your name."

The unicorn smiled.

"If you're going to treat everypony's petition equally, does it really help you to know my name?"

"Well, I suppose I could give you a little extra consideration. You did take down notes for me for almost five hours!"

"Nah, Miss Swirl. If I've learned anything from you, it's that helping ponies out is its own reward. I really don't need you to do anything special for me. Just help everypony the best that you can, alright?"

"I'll do that. Thanks. Have a nice night!"

"You too!" the unicorn called as he trotted away. "We're all counting on you!"

Star Swirl smiled.

Ponies were relying on her. She was going to help everypony. It was a good feeling.

Comments

[Sinrar]

"But Streamer! I'm a nopony in the court. How could I possibly be somepony's gaurdian alicorn?"
I think you mean Guardian.

This fic is really good!

Sinrar