Of Geldings And Gems

by Hergest Ridge

Sweet Apple Cider

Twilight obviously wasn't here when I came back home, but I thought I may as well try waiting for her before going to bed.

Hoping it would help me stay awake, I tried to pass time the best possible way in a library: reading. I picked up a random book, not even bothering to remember what category it was in. I don't think I could have, anyway, since Twilight has got this habit of re-organizing entirely the books, so what was the fiction section last week may as well be the language section, today.

It turned out I wasn't lucky, and had gotten a volume about pony history. While it described some ancient wars and conflicts between ponies and other creatures with admirable accuracy and indubitable passion, it was written in a truly insipid way. You know, like it never occurred to the writer that somepony with no experience of the subject may one day come across his work.

Comparisons and references to otherwise forgotten personalities from various pony periods (with impossible names the likes of "3rd post-neo-Sororal era"), maps and illustration with no legends whatsoever, untranslated extracts from old treaties in some ancient language, complex writing yet lacking the fascinating charm of an almost sexual nature of your narrator's...

Or, to put it more simply: none of the things that can make me hate a book were absent from this one.

Which may be the reason I soon fell asleep, while trying to decipher the meaning of a particularly tricky paragraph.

As I heard a loud, low-pitched and raspy sound, I realized I just had been awoken by Twilight's disgustingly loud snoring, next morning. Apparently, the mare had been kind enough to generously carry me from the library's floor into my basket-bed thingy, sparing me the torture of sleeping on the ground. Nothing is worse that starting a new day with back pain.

My mind was as able to form a thought as Applejack was able to count to three, but it still managed to gather some memories from the previous chapter, somehow clear enough for me to realize what little problem we were having. I decided not to respect my sister's slumber, instead waking her right the hell up to ask her about how last night went for her.

She didn't appreciate, but understood my desire - well, no shit - and told me about her night.

Basically, Big Macintosh, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and her had spend most of it - the night - walking through and flying above the Everfree Forest, hoping to find any trace of Appleblom and company. They didn't, obviously. Miss Magic then went over to Zecora's place, who hadn't seen them either but agreed to help them for the rest of the night.

Which had been completely useless, just like later joining in with Rarity, her parents and Fluttershy to search places around the town. The three little retards were nowhere to be found.

"Applejack and Rarity are devastated" stated my tired friend. "Rarity kept switching between complete hysteria and dramatic stoicism, and AJ was starting to get all, paranoid and angry, she... she said they had been kidnapped or...something. It was awful."

I raised a brow, surprised that the lavender mare would care to complain about her friends' less than perfect behavior in this kind of situation. I could perceive in her eyes the exact moment when she realized what I was thinking about.

"Oh Spike, I know I shouldn't be talking like this about them, I mean I'm just as worried as they are, of course." she apologized.

I could believe that. Go on, my dear.

"... it's just that I've spent the whole night trying to calm them so that we could be efficient in our search. I mean, all they did was make everypony panic even more than we already did... and Big Macintosh didn't help either."

"What was he like?"

"Kind of like Applejack, he kept talking about some kind of... of conspiracy, or kidnapping, except he didn't get angrier, he was already enraged from the beginning. It was terrifying, I... I'd never seen him like this before."

"Was it that bad?" I asked.

"Yes, it was." she confirmed. "At one point he almost attacked two random ponies who were passing, just because."

"Almost?"

"Telekinesis." she answered, pointing at her own horn.

"Oh."

A few seconds passed in silence, as I tried to picture the Apple brother, worried enough about his sibling to go and try to trash random ponies' shits. The mental image was surely impressive, since he was easily the biggest stallion in town (I won't even bother with a self-aware and sarcastic remark about a double entendre) and also known as the most laid-back pony ever. Perhaps with the exception of that Snails dude, but I attributed that on him being a complete retard, stoner, or a combination of the two.

"How about you Spike?" she questioned your modest narrator. "Rarity told me you left her after searching through Ponyville, what did you do afterward?"

"Oh, well, I ran into Pinkie Pie, she was asking ponies on the streets about... them."

"Did she get anything useful?"

"Well, there was one pony who had seen them just before they disappeared, Bon Bon." I looked over at Twilight's face. "Lyra's marefriend, you know, she was a neighbor in Canterlot."

"Oh, yeah" said Twilight with a suddenly uneasy expression.

She stared at me weirdly, and I could feel where the awkwardness was coming from. I was growing slightly older, already, but I've never really been the kind to talk about stuff like that, at least not with her. And if "stuff like that" is too subtle for you to understand, I mean sex.

You know, that one subject 100% of commonly used curses are derived from, yet kids are still expected not to know about. The purple idiot always thought of me as a baby, obviously, and although that was theoretically correct (since you know, I kind of am a freaking dragon) I'd been alive long enough to qualify as a teenager by pony standards. With my - great - intelligence developing accordingly.

Or, to put it more lightly: why in the hell would you not expect me to know about that?

Well, because Twilight Flopple didn't like the idea that I was growing older, that's why. She liked having a baby brother-assistant, and she wasn't going to admit to herself I was one day going to be independent and old enough to live without her. Until the day it actually happens, at least.

Sure, I wasn't rampaging through the town, destroying or stealing anything on my path, but time was slowly having its natural effect on me.

Regardless, Twilight had obviously expected me to be so innocent that I wouldn't know about such incredibly complex concepts as homosexuality, which I deemed as sweet, because otherwise I'd find it plainly offensive.

"I went to their house with Pinkie Pie", I kept on telling, "we asked them some questions, and simply left. I was feeling really tired after that, so..." I finished as a kind of apology..

"So?"

"So, Bon Bon last saw her..." I tried to remember. "Behind the Quills and Sofa store, you know, the kind of park?" She nooded. "Also there were some other ponies around, some mare and.... and Caramel. He even talked to them."

"Caramel... isn't that a friend of Big Macintosh?"

"Yeah."

"... Maybe we should go ask him before Big Mac hears about it?"

"That's what I was thinking."

We both sat on her bed - I had climbed in it as we talked - in silence, thinking loudly. Something was disturbing me greatly, but I couldn't quite tell what it was. A strange feeling, of apprehension, fear.

"Twilight?" I called, quietly.

"Spike?"

"What do you... what do you think happened to them? I mean, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo?"

I can't say the three fillies were the ponies I cared the most about, but the story was starting to bother me. Something just didn't feel right. We've had quite a lot of frights like this, in the past, with the three idiots causing troubles to themselves or anypony around them, but it would usually all be solved in half an hour.

"Oh Spike" exclaimed Twilight. "I... I don't know, I hope... I'm sure nothing bad has happened. They're probably just lost somewhere, we'll find them."

The spirit was spot on, but her heart definitively wasn't in it. We stared for a moments at each others, not saying shit, because we knew we were both thinking exactly the same thing:

What in Equestria had happened to the Cutie Mark Crusaders?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Caramel? An' why would y'all want to see Caramel?"

"Nothing important, just some book from the library he hasn't gotten back."

"Hmph." he simply stated.

"So, where does he live?"

"Ah ain't dumb, Spike."

"Uh?"

"Pinkie Pie told me what y'all were up to, yesterday. She didn't say much, but ah reckon y'all think Caramel's got something to do with mah sister an' her friends."

Well, shit, the bastard was more perspicacious than I expected. Y'get ta see the apple before eatin' it, but it's the taste that really matters would say Applejack, to whom none of the things that were dumb were unknown.

Alas, her brother wasn't as close to her level of intelligence as I'd expected, so it seemed. I could only guess that Applejack and Applebloom had inherited the bad genes. Not much of a point trying to lie to him, now, was there?

"He's just seen them yester- er, two days ago I mean, nothing more, really." I told him.

Big Mac Daddy looked at me, judging me silently, with a looong cold stare. I hate to admit it, but the dude was pretty terrifying. Had you been at my place, there's a good chance your pants wouldn't have made it safe and clean.

I'll let you decide if the fact that I don't wear any was fortunate or not.

"Well, looks like Twi told y'all 'bout me, didn't she?"

I nodded.

"Hmph." once again. "Kay, ah reckon ah wasn't really actin' smart yesterday, ah'm just bein' scared for mah sis, y'know?"

I rather redundantly nooded again, fascinated by the character. For most stallions, simply admitting being scared would be considered inacceptable, or at least slightly homosexual. Big Mac, he didn't give a crap. He would sing you a song about making dresses and you'd feel like you were being poisonned with testosterone.

And, most impressively, it would actually be the case.

Ah'm just bein' scared, while it not may seem like much, could be considered the equivalent of a dramatic monologue for a pony the likes of him. A stallion of few words, he was, but each and every one of these had the meaning of a thousand. The delivery added a nice touch, too, as "bein' scared" suddenly seemed to mean "about to trash your shit", in this context.

The second most masculine pony in town after Rainbow Dash continued to talk:

"Ah swear ah'm not gonna act like yesterday, really, but don't ya tell me no lies, okay? Why d'ya wanna see Caramel?"

"I don't even KNOW, Macintosh" I answered. "There's just this pony who saw him at the same place and time as your sister, I'm just gonna ask if he's seen anything, that's ALL!"

He gave me that same judging stare I didn't know he mastered so well, at least until something clicked. Or un-clicked, if you get what I mean. I guess there must be something about the way I talk when I lie, or maybe he was just good at telling, since my sincerity apparently caused him to calm down.

Just a bit.

"His house's on th' main street, the corner with the small street that goes to the market place." he replied slowly. "But ah reckon right now he's probably at work."

"Where does he work?"

Shrug.

"Ah dunno, sometimes he helps with th' farm, sometimes he delivers stuff for Miss Cake... he's kind of a, how d'ya say, jack of all trades?"

"I see." I sighed. "When does he finish?"

"Dunno, but he sometimes visit the farm. Wanna wait with me?"

Quick, an excuse. I'm sorry, I need to help Twilight. Nope, doesn't sound right. What's Twilight doing, anyway? I think she was meeting with the others to talk about some stuff, but I don't know where they are. Beside, what if he asks to come along? Need something else.

I've got to go to Sugarcube Corner get something Twilight ordered? Naw, it'll sound like food his more important than his sister. (it obviously was, but pretending the contrary is called "tact", my good friend). Same would go for any shop, actually, so there went my excuses. I need to go ask other ponies about this whole thing? He'll want to come along with me for sure, and I didn't even remember the name of that other mare who saw the three girls.

You know what?

Screw that. I actually feel like wasting my time in a farm. It's not like I've got much better to do, anyway.

I guess I felt a bit bad about the dude at the moment, scared like hell about his sister but having to stay on his own, wallowing in his own panic, sadness and ignorance, so I agreed to help him for a bit of the afternoon.

Applejack was off to town with Rarity and the others, as I said earlier, making plans for what to do or not to do, whether or not they should tell the authorities and all, so Mac was left at the farm to do all the work for the day. They couldn't afford leaving the farm only to Granny Smith's care, after all - the fossil's hip was perfectly fine until last time she tried bucking an apple tree, I once heard from Applebloom.

"So, ah've got some applebuckin' to do. Don't think yer strong enough t'do that, but y'all can carry th' buckets around. Ah reckon you'll be faster than me."

And so the two of us headed to the fields, and went to do some apple picking. It quickly appeared to be a terribly bad idea, as the buckets used to carry the fruits were almost as big and heavy as me, and so we ended up taking almost as much time as he alone would normally have.

I'll have to remember never to do that again.

I tried to converse a bit, but the giant wasn't very talkative, as usual, only answering by quick eeyups and eenopes.

Or at least until we took a break, because ah looked pretty exhausted already.

He led me to his barn, proposing me to sit on a wooden chair, next to an old barrel which seemed to serve as a kind of table. He sat down too, and got out of nowhere a bottle of a yellow-ish, presumably alcoholic drink, asking me if I wanted to have a taste.

I couldn't refuse, of course - I was this age when booze seems like the most amazing thing in all of Equestria, but nopony will let you have any - so I let him pour as much as he wanted into two rather large glasses, one of which he gave me. The other one he drank almost instantly, and had to fill a second time, as he started asking me questions again:

"So, d'ya think Caramel knows somethin'?"

"How d'ya know he saw 'em?"

"Somepony else saw 'em?"

I didn't really have any reason to lie, so I told him the whats and whens, and soon my yesterday had no secrets to hide from the monster.

"So yer sayin' Caramel's the last pony who talked to 'em?"

"So far, yeah, but maybe he saw somepony or something. I don't know."

"Hm."

"So, erm... when did... when did you last see her, anyway?"

"Lil' Applebloom?"

I nooded.

"Two days ago, b'fore she went to school." he simply stated before sipping again in his glass.

I tried to observe the Macintoshian beast in front of me, trying to analyze his appearance. Still as huge and slow as his usual self, and still possessing this same likeliness to bash the brains out of your skull by a firm kick in the ass as he'd showcased earlier, but I noticed there was something else about him, something that almost seemed fragile.

Maybe it was the alcohol kicking in or the disappearance of his beloved sister that was eating him from the inside, but a ridiculously small part of him seemed like it could break into tears any moment.

"Listen, Mac..." Holy crap, that nickname sounds ridiculous. "...intosh, I'm... we'll manage to find them, I'm sure about that."

Big Fatty Tosh looked over to me with his tired eyes, attempting to connect some of his ten neurons together and integrate my pathetic motivational remark, and did something for the first time today.

He smiled.

"Thanks Spike, yer cool." he chuckled. "Applejack an' Granny Smith say ah should be takin' care of the farm while the gals take care of th' problem, but if y'need help, y'can ask me."

"Erm, okay."

"S'nice of y'all t'help so much, why d'you even do that?"

I guess I couldn't really answer that I didn't even know why, that I just felt bored enough to help, so I tried to make myself sound like a better person.

"I just want to help, really. I... sincerely, I'm getting a bit worried about the fillies, too."

The dude didn't say anything, instead getting another bottle - I hadn't even noticed we'd finished the first one - and starting to pour its content in his glass.

As we started to attack this bottleful of a much stronger liquor, we kept on chatting, discussing about the Cutie Mark Crusaders' shenanigans, our friends, and inevitably, like any good conversation between two alpha males, leading to:

"... what I'm saying is that there's no way Pinkie Pie is sexier than Dash. I mean, come on, have you seen her a-"

"Naw, ya don't get me, ah'm just sayin' she'd be better to date 'cause she's like, funnier, y'know?"

"Date, Pinkie Pie? Are you crazy?"

"Ah'm just comparin'."

"Dunno, I really wouldn't date either of them. I mean come on, Pinkie Pie is funny but she's like... batshit insane. And Rainbow's too annoying... and probably a lesbian anyway."

"Eenope, don't think she ain't no fillyfooler."

I cringed harder than I ever had at the glorious triple negative.

"Doesn't matter anyway, she's like, way too much of a dude, man."

He chuckled.

"Y'all only care for that fancy unicorn, dontcha?"

"Hey, what do you... how do you know?" I asked, my speech capacities affected already.

"Mah sister told me, but yer... ah reckon yer not subtle 'bout it."

"Eh, I-I guess that's true." I mumbled. "But man, I mean you've seen her, right? She's like... so... so freaking perfect."

"Ah guess she's got pretty good looks, eeyup."

"Pretty good? More like-"

"Ah got it, Spike." he laughed.

"How about you, you... do you like somepony in particular?

He shrugged.

"Dunno, ah guess Twi an' Fluttershy are kinda nice an' good lookin', an' there's plenty of other mares in town, but ah ain't got time for that, really."

"So what, you like... never had a marefriend?"

"Eenope, ah dated some mares in school, but really, ah got better things to do."

"Better things to do?"

"Eeyup."

I was about to comment on how pretty much every filly in town had fantasized about him at least once in their lifetime - or more realistically, at least once today - when we heard the sound of somepony running toward the barn, shouting Big Macintosh's name.

We barely had enough time to hide the drinks - without spilling any on the floor or table - before Applejack came inside, looking as though she had just ran a marathon.

"Big Macintosh, Spike, there y'all are!"

"What's th' matter, sis?" asked Mac.

"We... Rarity... got somethin', y'all gotta... just go with me to Twi's library, ah'll explain."

-------------------------------------------

Knockity-knock!

"Come in!" we heard Twilight say.

We opened the door and stepped inside, bringing in a much needed male presence as we noticed that inside the library stood the whole gang - Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Pinkie Pie - who interrupted their loud discussions as we came in.

"Spike, Big Macintosh, Applejack, there you are!" exclaimed Twilight.

When the female farmer told us that they had "found something", I actually expected good news about the situation, but they didn't look happy.

At all.

Pinkie Pie wasn't smiling, which was purely depressing, Twilight and Rainbow Dash both seemed incredibly gloomy, and Rarity was crying her magnificent eyes out, while Fluttershy was trying her best to hug the tears out of the beauty.

Expecting the worse, with as much control over my own voice as the cider and the run from Sweet Apple Acres to the library would let me have, I asked.

"We ran as... as fast as we could, what's happened?"

"It's.... it's Rarity" answered Twilight in a weak voice. "She.... she got a letter."

Twilight levitated a parchment scroll toward Big Macintosh and I, for both of us to read it. It consisted of a collage of cut and pasted bits from magazines, and read:

Rarity

Your sister and her friends are safe at the moment but you have to follow my instructions if you ever want to see them again

You have got one week to gather 100 000 bits. Next Monday, you will put the money in two brown saddlebags with no decorations or anything on them, and at exactly 11 pm, you - and only you - will walk to the Everfree forest, using the path that's in continuation with Clover Street.
As soon as you get to the edge of the forest, put the saddlebags on the ground, and walk right back to your home. More informations will follow.

Don't tell anypony, don't try anything, and everypony will be safe.

Only I know where they are

"I was walking Rarity back to her home after we were talking to the mayor." stated Fluttershy in her usual soft voice, was still holding a crying unicorn in her hooves. "So we... we both found the letter at the same time..."

She seemed as if she was sorry about it, probably since the letter specified not to tell anypony, but I thought it was pretty fortunate.

In all sincerity, it was no doubt that Rarity was a brave, intelligent and surprisingly strong mare, but in this situation, it was pretty safe to expect her to shut the hell up and just give away the money.

I looked over to Twilight, who was clearly thinking the same thing as me.

"I... I can't believe it, who would kidnap 3 fillies just for... for money? That doesn't-"

"Ah swear if ah meet the son of a BITCH who did that I'll TRASH HIS FUC-"

Big Macintosh's screaming was suddenly interrupted by one of Twilight's most useful spell, the one that shuts your mouth like a zipper. The stallion started furiously stomping his hooves on the ground to express his anger - causing us all to step back a bit - but stopped when he realized he was progressively losing his balance.

"I agree with Macintosh, though!" claimed Rainbow Dash when the stallion's angered breathing got softer.

"We all do, Rainbow, but that pony's got mah sister an' her friends" exclamed Applejack. "Ah hate that kind of... erm..."

"Blackmail." said Twilight.

"Yeah, ah hate that as much as y'all, but...."

"But what?" asked the purple unicorn.

"Well... ah dunno, that's all we got so... if that guy can get mah sis back..."

"You... you want to pay that pony?"

"No, ah don't want to pay them, if ah could ah'd just kick his flank I would, but... that's different Whaddya think, Rare?"

For the first time, the (not-Sweetie) belle attempted to interrupt her sobbing (and was surprisingly good at it) and pulled out from Fluttershy's embrace. Rubbing some tears out of her eyes, she stated:

"I... I think Applejack is right. I mean, I know... I know it's wrong, and that kind of behavior shouldn't be encouraged, but yes, I just want the girls to be safe."

"So what, you guys are gonna let that pony get away with this?" asked Lebso Dash, incredulously and unintelligently.

"Well, I don't want to, but... I don't know, I... think about them. They are more important than some... principles."

We were just about to stare at each others in silence for as long as needed, when Big Macintosh reminded us of his massive presence, as he started to stomp violently on the floor again, his mouth still zipped. Twilight undid the spell, and he finally stopped, giving her a last deadly stare before starting to express himself in a surprisingly calm tone:

"Ah reckon we should give the money, an' then try to figure out who that is."

"What, do you mean like, following him?" asked Twilight.

"Them." corrected Rainbow Dash.

"Yeah, try to follow them?"

"Eeyup."

"I think they're gonna expect that, no?" asked the rainbow pegasus.

"I don't know" answered the unicorn. "They probably expect only Rarity to know about this, so..."

She didn't finish her sentence as not to offend the other unicorn, but we all understood what she meant. Whoever had done this would obviously expect Rarity to give away the money, and shut up about it.

"Ah reckon they'd probably expect us to try an' trick 'em" stated the farm mare. "We just hafta be more smarter than them."

"What do you mean?" asked Twilight.

"Well, we hafta find somethin', I mean if we..."

"Oh, I know, I know!" interrupted Pinkie Pie, turning to the lavender unicorn. "Maybe you've got some spell that could help us?"

"Hm... I guess I could try finding something, like some kind of invisibility spell, yeah, but that's got to be pretty hard."

"Er, sorry Twilight..." started Fluttershy, her voice getting even softer and more hesitant when she noticed the whole room was suddenly paying attention to her. "I don't mean to, erm... well, I mean if we want to sneak up on them, we... we still need to find the money somewhere..."

"Ah reckon ah got some bits lefts from last season, and I'm pretty sure Rarity..."

As the mares discussed their amazing plan together, I turned to Big Macintosh. The stallion looked as though he was going to fall asleep any moment now, and his balance was getting more and more unstable. I imagine I must have seemed pretty similar similar, judging from how wasted I was feeling at the moment.

Macintosh was way, way, way bigger than me, though, so from his state, I guessed he must have already drank before I met him, earlier. And I knew he'd finished the first and second bottle almost on his own, so...

"Mac" I whispered to him.

He eeyuped me quietly.

"Say, while they're busy planning stuff, maybe we should see Caramel or something? If he's seen anypony, maybe we can spare some work for the girls?"

It took him a while to understand my question.

"Eeyup, ah reckon yer right."

I was going to tell the mares we were leaving, but they were too busy talking anyway, so we just left without saying anything.

After standing up for so long, walking proved to be much more difficult that you'd think, especially on two legs. I thought for a second about riding on Big Mac's back, but he looked like he was having just as much troubles as me moving his huge mass, so I forgot the idea.

"So, what'd ya think we will... should do?" he asked.

"I don't know... just try to find Caramel."

"D'ya wanna to... want to wait in th'barn again?"

"Hell yeah" I answered, thinking about the bottle of Southern Comfort we'd left unfinished.

"Oooooh, what are you guys doing?" asked a high-pitched voice behind me.

I turned to see Pinkie Pie, her face inches away from mine, jumped and fell to the ground in surprise. Big Macintosh turned much more slowly, and looked at the pink pony with a complete inability to decide what to think about that.

"Pinkie? What... how'd you get here?" I asked, since she was still in the middle of the conversation when we were walking away from the library.

"Well, I left, duh." she answered. "What are you doing?"

"We're trying to find Caramel, since you know, we learned yester-"

"Oh, Caramel? He's helping Mrs Cake bake today!"

"What? Why didn't you tell us?"

"You didn't ask."

I put my hand to my forehead in exasperation.

"So, erm... we think we're gonna ask him if he's, like, seen anypony. Maybe he saw like the... whoever... sent that letter?"

"Ooooh, good idea!" she exclamed. "Can I come along? Please, please, pleaaaaase!"

I turned my head to Big Macintosh, but he was staring into blank space.

"Er, yeah, sure, let's go."

-------------------------

"Oh Pinkie Pie, there you are! Aaand, hello Spike and Big Macintosh, what are you all doing here, dearies?"

"Is Caramel still here?" asked the pink pony. "We wanna talk to him!"

"Oh, yes dear, he's in the kitchen right now... Please, do come in, you two."

It took a few seconds before Big Mac and I realized that Mrs Cake was referring to the two of us. When we did, we walked inside Sugarcube Corner and headed toward the kitchen.

"Carameeel." the older mare called. "There are some ponies who want to talk with you!"

We heard the colt's voice answer as he got out of the kitchen.

"Oh, really, who is i- oh, er, hello every....pony?"

Judging by the look on his face, I concluded we probably seemed completely trashed. Which may have been the case.

"Oh, Big Macintosh, Pinkie Pie and... Spike, is it? What are you all doing here?"

"We're... we want ta talk t'ya 'bout mah sis an'... an mah sis's friends."

"I... what?"

"We wanna know if- if you've seen them - no wait, no... - yeah, you saw them two days ago, didn't you?" I managed to blurt out.

"Er... yes, why?"

"They disappeared, can't find 'em" answered the red stallion.

"What? Oh, Macintosh, I'm... I'm so sorry, are you-"

"- An' Spinkie and Pike here reckon yer th'last one who's talked to them, so we're here to question... ask questions!"

"Oh, really?" asked the smaller stallion. "That's strange, they were other ponies around."

"Yeah, we know that, but th'others didn't see anything particular, so... so yeah, didya see anythin?"

I focused on Caramel as he was about to answer, and focused a bit on his appearance. I did remember his color pattern, the yellow-ish coat and brown hair, blue eyes, but I didn't remember he looked so... effeminate.

It was probably just compared to Big Mac, but the colt was undeniably feminine-looking. He was barely taller than Pinkie Pie, pretty thin, and although his voice wasn't high pitched, it had a strange mix of feminine and masculine intonations. His posture and general attitude were rather normal, though, but that wasn't enough to compensate.

"Er... what do you mean, anything?" he asked.

"Well" started Pinkie Pie. "Like, yesterday, when we asked Bon Bon, she said she saw some ponies around and then she said she saw you, and you talked to Applebloom and her friends, so if we ask you maybe you've seen more ponies and we can know where they are!"

We had agreed that mentioning the letter to anypony outside of the group would be a terrible idea, since the girls' plan obviously relied on the kidnapper thinking that only Rarity had received it.

"Oh yeah, forgot 'bout that, why'd ya talk to them?" asked the only real stallion in the room, menacingly.

"I was just saying hello." answered Caramel, slightly scared by the red colt. "Applebloom asked me if I was gonna help you out with the farm that day, so I told her no, and I left, that's just it."

"So... you did- didn't see anything or anypony?" I asked.

"Well, there were other ponies around, yeah, I think I did see Bon Bon, and..."

"I mean, nothing unusual?"

"Hm... well, not really around the fillies, but a bit earlier that day, I saw a unicorn I'd never seen before, probably from another town. Don't think that helps much though, does it?"

"What did he looked - look like?"

"Hm... he seemed pretty handsome, and was very tall, kind of like you." he said, pointing to Macintosh.

Mac Bro raised an eyebrow upon the remark, causing Caramel to have a bit more troubles pronouncing the next sentences:

"Erm, but he... he wasn't as... he was pretty thin, all ... bones."

"How 'bout his colors?" asked Pinkie's high pitched voice.

"He.. his coat was some kind of... blue-ish gray, rather light... blond mane..."

"Cutie mark?"

"Don't remember. But, er... his mane and tail were a bit long, for a colt. And pretty wavy too."

I turned to Pinkamena, waiting for the diagnosis.

"I don't think he was from here, I've never seen a pony like that in Ponyville. I think old Garden Yard used to have a blond mane, but he's not really tall and also his mane has been white for like 10 years so unless he somehow managed to go back through time he wou-"

"No, he was the same age as me, I think." interrupted the brown earth pony.

"An' where'd ya see him?" asked Big Macintosh, loud enough to sound completely retarded.

"Erm, just... just next to the town hall, in the big place."

We were asking him about other random details - who else he'd seen, if he could remember precisely what happened - when we heard a highly disturbing sound coming from Big Macintosh's throat, and all turned to see him grandiosely puking his digestive system out on the ground of Sugarcube Corner, every details of his previous meals exposed for us to admire, accompanied with the wonderfully nauseating smell of his gastric secretions.

Perhaps it was time for us to leave.

Mrs Cake insisted that I didn't need to help cleaning up the mess, Pinkie Pie and her would take care of it, and so I told her goodbye and got Big Macintosh out of the store - with a bit of help from Caramel, since the monstrous stallion was heavier than all of us.

The shortest pony insisted on helping the huge stallion back to his home, but he seemed to feel well enough to stand on his legs by himself pretty soon, so that wasn't needed.

"S'alright, really, ah can stand just fine." he stated, and started to walk around a bit to demonstrate.

Truly amazing, the feats a pony the likes of him can accomplish. Walk.

With 4 legs, too. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't even have been able to stand, if he was a bipedal like me.

"How did he get like that?" whispered Caramel to me.

"Er... we kinda had some drinks, and it eventually became 3 bottles."

"At 5 pm?"

"Yeah, I... I think he was already drunk actually. Well, he just... his sister disappeared, I guess that doesn't... do him much good." I said.

"Oh my, poor Macintosh." he said. "I'd really love to spend some time with him, but I'm very busy today... I think I'll try visiting him later. Anyway, see you, Spike, see you Mac!"

"Seeya." mumbled the large stallion.

We both started heading to Sweet Apple Acres again, talking about the discussion we just had.

"So... what d'ya think 'bout that?"

"What do you mean?"

"That... erm... blond stallion... think that's him?"

"I... I don't know.... actually, I don't think that's him, no."

"Why?"

"Well, the... the guy who sent the letter to Rarity, he... they obviously knew the girls, didn't they? I mean, he at least knew he kidnapped two of their sisters..."

"Hm... eeyup, yer right.... b'sides, strangers ain't too uncommon in Ponyville... so..."

"Yeah... it's kind of a stupid thing to do, anyway? Does that... pony really expect us to... to not try and get him?"

A vague eeyup.

"I mean," I continued. "There's so many things that can go wrong with their plan... it's... stupid, man."

I kept on rambling on and on about the subject to a barely-paying-attention and intoxicated stallion for about a minute, until I realized he wasn't even bothering to eeyup my rethoric questions. I left some silence between the two of us for some times, before he managed to blurt out a question:

"Hm, d'ya think Mrs Cake's angry at me?"

"Dunno. But dude seriously, what's with puking in the middle of a conversation?"

"Ah dunno... drank too much..."

"Where you already wasted when I arrived or something?"

"Eeey... maybe."

And so, like the drunken morons we were, we kept on walking together, laughing and chatting about subject which level of intelligence probably made much more than one philosopher roll in his grave, simply enjoying each other's presence.

Nothing brings individual together like stupidity and booze, that's a fact.

Comments

[DarthWolfe]

That last line
Spike is awesome. So is Big Mac.

[Meta Knight]

fantastic

[Gypsy]

this was an alright read.

I can see Spike talking like this since he's surrounded by so many books, but the attitude is "whatever", though I'm not so much as complaining, just pointing it out.

My only real complaint is its not that very engaging for me, I don't know why.

[Anonymous XXX]

dude, big mac is ridiculous. dashie is WAYYY better for dating than pinkie. cause if she's a lesbo, u can get in on some of her sweet lesbo pony sex.

on a different note, this is awesome. haha

[Kitnomara]

nooded? noodded? whats with nooded? can you please fix that? it erked me XP.