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Chapter 2 is now out. Enjoy. I. Wrote this on my phone. I hope it turns out right

two things
1

Ok Rose, lead the way.”[/color,]

you left a little something extra in the story

2 i think lucky rose could want to have a foal but that's just what i would like to see

8589922
Thanks. I’ll fix that. I hate doing this on my phone. Also Lucky Rose will have a foal later on in the story

8589922
I fixed the error. Thanks again

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alright and your welcome

”Thany you Morning Rose, I’d like that a lot.”

should be thank you not thany you

”I know what you mean. Than you for everything Rose, I really do appreciate everything you’re doing for me.”

again it should be thank you. you forgot the k

That night while I was dreaming, I was having a very bad nightmare about my life back on earth. Then a pony I knew from the tv show appeared and ended the nightmare. She told me her name was Princess Luna, and that she watches over the dreams of everypony. Once she ended the bightmare she changed my dream to something very pleasant. Then I slept peacefully for the rest of the night.

should be nightmare not bightmare

awesome chapter there is one thing i would go to add and that is describe Rose's dress you described Lucky's it's only fair you describe Rose's

8590779
Thanks. I missed those mistakes. I hate using my phone for this. I always miss something

8590779
I’ll fix those when I get a chance. I don’t have good internet signal right now and my aunt unplugged my internet.

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i understand just wanted to let you know you also dont deserve so many hooves down

8590931
All those dislikes came from when I first posted it. Back when I had the intro.

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still you didn't deserve it its a really good story

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Thanks my friend

8591770
your very welcome you should see the comment this dude said on my story RBS in my newest chapter

 ChasingThePurpleDragon

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I saw it. I don’t know why people have to leave such negative comments like that.

8591952
I fixed the errors and added a little more to this chapter. I added what Morning Roses dress looked like

I’m going to start writing chapter 3. But I won’t be able to post it for a while. I’m writing it on my laptop but since I don’t have internet I’ll have to rewrite it on my phone to be able to post it. So it will take a while for the next chapter. Thanks to my family for unplugging my internet

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Chapter 3 should be up with in a week

”If you want you can live with me. I have my own house to myself. We could be roommates if you want to.”

too

”Nice to meet you, Lucky. If I may ask, since your new here do you have a place to stay?”

“Thanks, Twilight. Yes I’m planning on changing my name to Lucky Rose.”

”Sure, Twilight. What are we having?”

”It’s a surprise, Lucky.”

”Ok, Twilight.”

”Please call me, Rose.”

”Ok, Rose. Twilight do you mind if I go with Rose to check out her place?”

”Go ahead Lucky, I’ll be at the castle if you need me. Take care of her, Rose.”

”I promise I will, Twilight. If you’ll follow me, Lucky my place isn’t far away.”

”Your welcome, Lucky. I figured even though I didn’t know you we could be great friends. And since you didn’t have a place to sleep, I invited you into my home. I hope your hungry cause dinner is almost ready.”

”No problem, Lucky. I don’t know if you know this but estrus season is coming very soon. I know we just met, but if you need help during it I can help you. All you have to do is ask.”

”I’ll keep that in mind, Rose. I never went through heat before, considering I just became a mare today.”

”Your welcome, Lucky. It’s getting late, so I’m going to bed. If you need me, you know where my room is. Goodnight, Lucky.”

”Goodnight, Rose.”

”You called for me, Lucky?”

”Thank you so much, Rose.”

”Hey, Twilight.”

”If you need help learning magic, I’ll be glad to teach you. It’s up to you, Lucky.”

”Thanks, Rose.”

”Ok, Rose.”

”You look beautiful, Rose.”

”Thanks, Lucky. Let’s head out.”

”Thanks, Rose. I think I would like the help. But don’t you think we are moving too fast? We just started dating each other.”

”It might be a little fast, but I don’t mind. Besides I like you, Lucky. If you want to get started we can head to my room.”

”Lead the way, Rose.”

”Ok, Rose.”

”That was amazing, Rose. I love you.”

”You were not bad yourself, Lucky. That was pretty good for your first time. I love you too.”

All of this needs commas before the name has been said.

”Go ahead Lucky, I’ll be at the castle if you need me. Take care of her Rose.”

Castle

”Ok Rose, lead the way”.

way.”

”I’m from another world called earth. I was a male when Twilight found me. When she found me I was in the woods at my uncles house. I was in a very dark place at the time. I had a lot of problems there. One major problem was that I wanted to be a female, but my family wasn’t happy about it so I ran into the woods. About 20 minuets later, Twilight came trough the portal and calmed me down. I told her why I was crying and everything that happened to me. She comforted me and invited me to live here in Equestria.”

Comma.

through

That night while I was dreaming, I was having a very bad nightmare about my life back on earth. Then a pony I knew from the tv show appeared and ended the nightmare. She told me her name was Princess Luna, and that she watches over the dreams of everypony. Once she ended the nightmare she changed my dream to something very pleasant. Then I slept peacefully for the rest of the night.

TV

The next morning I woke up to the smell of breakfast, so I went to the bathroom to wash up. But I was having a very hard time since I’m not used to being a mare yet, so I called for Rose to see if she would help me. Then I heard a knock on the door so I said, ”come in.”

Forgot comma.

Come

Once she was done helping me wash up,(space)we made our way to the kitchen for breakfast. After breakfast I headed to Twilights castle. When I got there she was already outside, so I walked over to her.

”(delete space)Ok Lucky, come by tomorrow afternoon and we will start your training.”

Once she handed me the dress that she bought for me, she helped me put it on. It was a very nice dress. It was White with all kinds of gemstones on it. I never looked more beautiful.

white

”I love it Rose, thank you. .” I said as I pulled her into a hug.

Forgot speech mark.

”Lucky, would you like to go on a date with me? We can go for Lunch.”

lunch

”Sure Rose, I would love to.”

too

”Remember Lucky, I can help you get through it. If you want me to.”

too

I hope chapter 1 and 2 turned out better. I'm editing the last 2 chapters now. I'll post them once I finished

8898540
I fixed the first 2 chapters. There is no colored dialogue anymore

8758068
I fixed the errors in chapter 2. When you get a chance can you double check

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I redid the first 2 chapters. I'll be working on the last 2 when I get a chance. I only have the first 2 chapters posted since I redid them. Let me know if I did better