Project horizon

by BRITICAL-HIT

Prologue; virtues

Project Horizon: prologue.
--Date recorded; October 14, 2137-

--Subject: 7, Marcus smith, 14 years old. Virtue: loyalty--

--"Is this thing working? I pressed the thingy, so it should be... TESTING!!"--

--"Okay, so the idiots in charge wanted me to record some, well.. Recording, yeah, recording about history and what's going on, I guess. It'd probably help if I knew most of it, it's kind hard to explain."-

-"The gist of things were, the planet went to shit. The EU fell, world war 3 broke out, and shit just took a turn for the worst I guess. Hell, the King got murdered, so you know, something must've happened!"-

-"That's when, IT, landed. We thought it was just a comet hitting the planet’s atmosphere, just like any other. At least, that's what the news told us. But, it wasn't, and it landed somewhere in the Arctic. Whatever it was, it just made things worse, if you could imagine that!"-

-"All of a sudden, snowfall. In the middle of summer as well! I was, well... Confused. My brother just used it as an excuse to get out of school though. Then again, he was a bit young, so that was normal-ish for him."-

-"That's when I saw it. I don't know exactly what it was, but it looked freaky, almost like some kind of spirit. Its head... It was clearly a horse, but it had no legs, more like a tail, or just some kind of mist. I didn't see it too good and I was a kid, don't expect artist levels of detail!"-

-"Our leaders just ignored it, and kept fighting! All this shit was going on, global freezing was happening! Yet they still went head-to-head for, well, whatever reason. As I said, I'm no expert on the subject, I just got told to do this, what, five minutes ago?"-

-"Anyway, things kept escalating, both in regards to the war and the 'frost sirens', as we now call them. Hell, you knew it got bad when the whole Atlantic Ocean froze over! The Atlantic is the one between America and Africa, right?"-

-"That was what got the world to notice. One of the world’s largest bodies of water, just frozen! That would be like me having a headache and banging it on the table to get people to notice."-

-"They tried to stop the war, but they couldn't. Both the American and Japanese fronts refused to back down, fighting even more than they already were, and against the government’s orders."-

-"That's when the 'nUw N' was formed, with very original naming!.. Trust me, if you saw me when I first heard the name, you'd think I was suffocating. But seriously, it's easier to remember if you just called it 'the new UN', or just called it the UN and claimed you just remade the building!"-

-"Sorry, back on topic."-

-"They had a plan, something that seemed a little extreme at the time, and still feels extreme now. They were going to send humans off-world, sending up space-ships rigged with experimental Cryo freezing tech."-

-"However, the plan was expensive, and people claimed we could still save our planet, but the government insisted on it."-

-"Cut to now, 3 years in, and 70% of the planet was now frozen, and the daily average temperature plummeted to -10 degrees Celsius, being as cold as -70 on winter nights. The human race is slowly dying, with now just under 570'000 left. But, the project is ready!"-

-"We found a new planet, nearly identical to earth! They say it looks slightly different geologically, and are unaware if any life exists on it, but it's close enough for the ship to make it with the cryogenic systems not fucking up."-

-"Speaking of the machines, I... Feel really uneasy about them. They say it's relatively safe, but don't really know what will happen to them in space. Call me a pessimist, but I'd rather be wrong as a pessimist than wrong as an optimist."-

-"Anyway, I will be one of the 12 lucky people who will be traveling to the new planet. The group is relatively young, being aged between 12 and 18, nobody older, nobody younger. They say it's because of some specific reasons.-

-"The first is for safety. They say our bodies are at the stage in puberty where we're strong enough to survive the journey, but also still able to develop when we get there."-

-"The second reason seems rather weird to me. They claim we were chosen because we represent the best virtues of mankind, with the best traits. Empathy, optimism, courage, creativity... Loyalty. Among several others I can't remember and can't be bothered saying. They say they want to put forward the best mankind can offer, in hopes it will give us a better chance at survival on this new world."-

-"But... I have to leave my brother behind. For the virtue of loyalty, this is quite heart-breaking for me. We were all that's left from England, he was the only one of my family I could save! He's nine for god’s sake! I..."-

-"I just wish he could come. I won't be the same without him with me. How will I manage to focus without him with me?"-

-"I'm sorry, I need to change the subject."-

-"Erm... They let us all design our pods with whatever we want. I was going to get tonnes of video games, but Connie beat me to the idea, and said I could just use her pod if I wanted a go on them. So I decided to fill it with a massive tv with all of my favourite films instead! Deadpool, Pokemon, How to Train Your Dragon, Castle in the Sky. I'll stop there before I make this video double in length."-

-"They also made us have to take weapons with us for protection, should the planet contain hostile life, and for hunting. I'm not one for guns, but I managed to convince them to let me bring a katana! I was very specific about that, I have a really weird obsession with swords and knives for some reason. Don't judge me for it!"-

-"Tomorrow is.. Is our last day on earth before we set of for the new planet, dubbed 'Terra'. I think that actually means earth in Latin or something, I don't give a fuck though. At the end of the day, a name is a name."-

-"I'm gonna say goodbye to my brother tomorrow. I know he doesn't want me to go but... I have to. I want to! It's what needs to be done I guess. After that, I'm probably just gonna get to know the team a little, I guess. I know a few of them from the area, but some of them are coming from the states and I want to meet them."-

-"Anyway, I'm gonna get to bed now. It's gonna be a big day tomorrow, and an even bigger day after! And since I'm obviously gonna struggle to sleep tomorrow night, I'd best get as much rest as possible."-

-"This is subject number 7, Marc Smith, signing out."--

-0-0-0-0-0-

--Audio File no. 04; project horizon overview.--
--Audio recording of; Dr Robert Corteck, Director of project; horizon.--

--"Project horizon, to many, meant a future for mankind. For others, it felt like a white flag, a surrender. To me, it's a chance for humanity’s survival."-

-"As a brief overview, the project is a mission into the unknown, a shot in the dark, a torch of hope among several other analogies. Its objective is to transport 12 young souls off-world, and to another capable of supporting human life, which we have dubbed 'terra'."-

-"The journey will take years, more like centuries. By natural means, they would be dead by the time they got to the new world. That's where the Cryo-pods come into this. With these, the children and young adults aboard the starship Eclipse will survive the journey. The same tech will be used on any food, equipment, and other belongings they bring with them to ensure they don't decay or dissolve, amongst several other theorised issues we could encounter."-

-"The 12 young people aboard the ship each represent the best of the human race, each having a virtue we wish to pass onto the future of our race. They go as follows:"-

-"Honour, represented by Shawn Locksdale. He may seem a little stuck-up, but he's very skilled and is willing to give everyone a chance to stand for themselves."-

-"Strength, displayed by James Norris. For a 17 year old, his strength is unparalleled by even those twice his age. And while he looks intimidating, he's quite the personality."-

-"Kindness, shared by Gemma Rogers. In all my years, I haven't met a kinder young woman in all my life, even my wife... If she heard that, she'd kill me."-

-"Wisdom, honed by Jinji Nakamodo. From what I've been told from the group bringing him, he seems to be a rival even for my wisdom. A notable addition for the new world.-

-"Empathy, represented by Shelby Morehouse. From the little I've seen from here she's been the group peacekeeper. She's quite the young woman, I must admit."-

-"Honesty, told by Joseph Plows. Now, while honesty is a hard thing to measure, this young lad seems to best represent this virtue from what I've heard from him. However, he can be quite... Ahem. Vocal, if you were to annoy him."-

-"Loyalty, shown by Marcus Smith. This young man seems to be one of the best representations of a virtue, almost refusing to leave without his brother. Rumour has it that he protected a whole town while on the way here, although he claims that story is overly-exaggerated."-

-"Optimism, from Connie Mathews. She seems to be looking towards the future with a bright smile. However, she is a bit eccentric, and a massive gaming nut. However. I feel as though she can get irritating with her demands sometimes."-

-"Curiosity, represented by Antonia Jackson. This young lady has explored roughly 87% of the whole compound, despite the young recruits only having authority to access 60%. While she would typically be told off for this, most of the crew have accepted her presence and chose to ignore her.”-

-"Knowledge, known by Mary Faust. To put it simply, a child prodigy, extreme genius. She is the one responsible for completing the Cryo tech used in the ships, a feat that otherwise would've taken years!”-

-"Courage, displayed by Rebecca Ashton. The other individual who is coming to the compound overnight tonight. I only just got told this morning about this young woman, but it appears as though she faced a frost siren head-on, and merely walked away with a simple cold! Since we've heard of larger groups of people suffer worse fates, I am quite shocked as to her feat.”-

-"And finally, creativity, the virtue of David Marshall. Young Mr Marshall was the one responsible for the base design of the Eclipse, and has helped in several other ways in regards to design. He's quite the young man, I must admit.”-

-”These twelve children represent perhaps humanity’s last hope in this universe, and I have every faith they will succeed. This is doctor Robert Corteck, director of Project; Horizon, signing off."-

Author's Note:

Just a quick heads-up, this part was made to provide a backstory for the events prior to project horizon, basically making this a "how they're here" story. For those of you who dislike heavy exposition dumps, feel free to skip angels to the next chapter. I won't blame you.

Comments

[Gray Sage]

I'm intrigued. Do go on. Oh... more chapters already.

[Frazzle2Dazzle]

...Here's hoping that the Windigoes have learned to freeze time as well. I'd give it 10 years before it reached that stage, though.

[Shadow-Dancer]

So how are 12 people going to save 500000 or repopulate you need several hundred for repopulating a species. Anyway I will continue on

[BRITICAL-HIT]

8929056
you'll figure that out next chapter. it's half-explained.

[NightCoreMoon]

That was a lot of exposition. Like... a LOT. Marc didn't even feel like a character here, just a vehicle for telling the reader a list of events with a biased narrative tone (biased here meaning non-objective). I also have no idea what he looks like, and got a solid block of dialogue, which only reinforced the notion that he was merely an exposition dump.

Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring- my all time favorite movie ever- opens with Cate Blanchett talking for like twenty minutes about Celebrimbor's work forging the rings of power, Sauron's taking all the power for hisself, starting a war and killing people, the war itself, Isildur taking up Narsil, then stealing the ring, then getting killed for the ring, the ring slipping away, Gollum finding it, Bilbo stealing it, blah blah blah A LOT OF F*CKIN STUFF. And THEN you have Frodo and Gandalf talking about MORE exposition, Gandalf and Bilbo giving MORE EXPOSITION, and by the time anything even happens you've got like six movies worth of information shoved down your throats and there's still two more hours of movie left, three if you're watching the extended edition.

The problem here is that we don't know what this kid looks like, what his surroundings look like, his state of being, patterns of speech, anything other than what he tells us. And, of course, show don't tell. It is a video, after all. You shouldn't describe only the audio of a video in a text based medium. And also consider the fact that he gave a lot of extraneous and overly specific information without actually telling anything that we need to know. America and Japan are at war, apparently. But why? What started it? How long has it been going on for? I'm ignoring the information presented in the description because that information needs to be inside the work or else it's just going to feel incomplete. And yet we know exact numbers like 570,000. I didn't even need to scroll to remember that number, just to confirm that it was the number of humans left alive. He's leaving his brother behind but I don't feel his grief or sadness; the tone conveyed made it seem like he saw it as a minor inconvenience. Why did we only get his diary and not the rest of everyone else's? You told us about how the cryostasis is going to keep their food supplies safe but not about the ship itself and who pilots it and how they built it and programmed it to go to terra and what it'll look like and where it'll launch from and all sorts of information that I feel a young teenager would be totally hyped about. Otherwise it just feels like he's reading off a cue card here. Extended dialogue tags without any breaks make it feel like a college professor's droning lecture rather than a traumatized young kid with the weight of the world on his shoulders who's about to say goodbye to his family forever for a dangerous mission to completely reproduce the entirety of the human population. I didn't get loyalty from him. All I can infer from this passage is that shit went down on earth, windigos came, he's probably the main protagonist, he's probably gonna interact heavily with rainbow dash, and he's going into space.

Now, for a 1K and change chapter, it did what it needed to do. I'm intrigued and wanna know what happens next. There's nothing explicitly wrong with the text, the concepts, the writing itself. It's good. But... well, it could be great. It could be fantastic. It could be amazing. It just takes little tweaks here and there. I got heavy vibes for Lost In Space, 2012: A Space Odyssey, Star Wars, Dead Space, 12 Monkeys, Mass Effect Andromeda, Firefly, that one Nicholas Cage movie Knowing,, the ending to Animorphs and the author's next series Remnant, The 4400, Heroes... a bunch of things that I and many other people love. There's a lot of potential here and it's all really interesting and I really want to see how the rest of this series will pan out.

This is NOT bad, by any stretch of the imagination. But it can be heavily improved from what it is.

[BRITICAL-HIT]

9031959
Most of these questions are answered next chapter, and those that aren't answered aren't important later in the story.
I understand the information will be important at this stage, and I'll add what's needed, but again, most of it is explained later.

[Pensive]

-"Knowledge, known by Mary Faust. To put it simply, a child prodigy, extreme genius. She is the one responsible for completing the Cryo tech used in the ships, a feat that otherwise would've taken years!”-

Lauren Faust's children are going to a planet she created... The irony... Welp! Let see what happens!