Twilight's 1000th Birthday Blowout

by Cyndaquil

13 13th Chapter on Friday the 13th. What Can Go Wrong?

Fluttershy’s mother helped with her dress. Apparently Spike had picked her up for the occasion. Her father and Zephyr were also around, hopefully the latter of the two wouldn’t draw too much attention.

The element of kindness was taken aback when her mom had first arrived. It wasn’t that she was surprised to see her, or that she didn’t want her to be there. No, her presence merely brought into perspective how seriously Twilight was taking this ‘wedding.’ At the moment she felt a bit overwhelmed.

“Twilight,” she spoke in a tiny faint whisper.

Twilight was looking outside. Her mind seemed to be elsewhere.

Twilight, she said again.

“Yes, Fluttershy!”

“I was just wondering, if you don’t mind me asking, you see - I just want to know…” She took a deep breath. “What happens if Rainbow Dash doesn’t get here to rescue me!” She spoke a little faster then before her big breath.

“Flowers!”

“Excuse me!”

“Flowers. This is a traditional Breezie Wedding right?”

“Yes.”

“So your hair should be done in the Breezie way.”

“That’s right, I need to have water lilies braided into my hair. Oh my, how could I have forgotten that.” She looked back and forth, then towards the sun, trying to decide what she should do.

“Is there still time to fix my hair.”

Twilight briefly imagined braiding clocks into her hair instead of flowers. “No, time will never work! We need water Lilllies.”

The princess lifted her hoof in the air, as though struck with an idea. Really she had thought this through well in advance. “I know, there’s a pony with a Lily cutie mark. She’ll be able to work with Lilies even faster then a trained Breezie wedding stylist.”

“You think so.”

Before Fluttershy could say anything. Twilight was off to grab her flower pony.

---

Daisy sang to the flowers as she arranged each centerpiece. The flower mare truly believed that if she projected positivity and cheerfulness into the flowers, they would respond by becoming more beautiful.

Lily also believed that flowers could respond to a pony. She whispered softly to a rose when she thought Daisy was out of earshot; “Hey, youse got any doit on this Fluttershy broad.”

The rose was silent.

“I know you can hear me glim glam. Now spill the beans.”

The rose was silent.

“Oh, so you’re just a flow’a. Then I guess there ain’t no harm in pruning your thorns. You’ve already been picked after all.”

The mare menacingly held out a pair of pruning shears, repeatedly snapping the spring loaded blades open and closed, while giving the flower a menacing look.

“Need help!”

A startled Lily tossed her pruning shears above her head. She fumbled momentarily trying to catch them, but not from the bladed end. She turned to see Daisy.

Daisy took the shears from Lily. “Honestly Lily, you should know better then to play with sharp tools.”

With practiced skill, and no reservations, Daisy started to cut thorns off from the rose. Lily watched, though the sight made her squeamish. She hadn’t really meant for it to go this far. Without making a sound, she moved her lips to mouth the words “I’m so sorry.”

“I wish Roseluck was here.” As you may guess from her cutie mark, Roseluck was the rose expert of the flower mares.

“I’m certain she’ll make it.” Lily nuzzled, against Daisy, in a comforting gesture. “She is with Rainbow Dash after-all.” She spoke with an air of sophistication, which Lily certainly didn’t waste on flowers.

Around that time, there was a stirring. It was the sound you hear when a large crowd is nearby. There were voices they recognized, only too many to pick out any single one.

Curious, the two looked down from the hilltop, toward the narrow path which was the entrance to Breezie village. The guests were arriving. It seemed Twilight or Fluttershy had invited all the ponies who were citizens of Ponyville.

Mayor mare, walked four paces ahead of the group, seeming to lead the way. The young fillies were up front, including Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. Cherilee kept watch over all the fillies. Rarity and Applejack stayed close to there sisters and the other Ponyville members of the Apple clan stayed close to AJ. Pinkie would be buried in the crowd except that she kept hopping up and down. She hopped so high you’d think she had a trampoline. It was Pinkie, so maybe she did. Lyra and BonBon were there, as were Vinyl Scratch and Octavia. Even Cranky Doodle Donkey followed a few paces behind the rest of the group, along with his wife.

With a renewed energy, the two flower mares returned to their task. They wanted beautiful floral arrangements ready and waiting by the time the guests arrived.

They worked quickly, yet efficiently. When there were only a few tables left, so few that either could finish on her own, something grabbed Lily Valley from behind. Twilight swooped in completely unseen. Lily was well in the air before she understood enough of what was going on to yell or scream.

“Daddy!” She screamed.

When Daisy heard her she looked up, only in time to catch a fleeting glance before both Lily and Twilight were out of sight.

Twilight flew at top speed towards Fluttershy’s dressing tent. When they arrived, Fluttershy looked over the two. Lily seemed startled and confused, as Twilight presented her to Fluttershy with a look of pride.

“Uh… Twilight, she has a Lily of the Valley cutie mark. The braids are done with tiny water Lilies.”

“Close enough.” Twilight slapped Lily on the back. “I’d best leave you to it.”

Fluttershy was left alone with Lily. Even her own mother was nowhere to be seen.

“So what is it I’m doing here?” Lily asked.

---

Discord appeared in a puff of smoke, just outside Fluttershy’s tent. The draconequus briefly wondered what was wrong; for he had meant to poof himself inside the tent. He quickly realized why when he saw Twilight standing in front of him.

Long ago Starlight Glimmer gathered broken pieces of some Changeling artifact, and used it to create discord teleportation wards. Just put a stone fragment somewhere, and discord could not teleport directly to that location. She mostly put them in bathrooms and dressing rooms.

“I heard a call!” He was referring to Lily’s scream.

“Don’t worry, everything is okay. I just wanted to give them a little time together.”

“I never told you who she is.”

“Starlight told me.”

“Glimmer! Were is she. She’s been oddly silent through all of this.”

“She’s everywhere, so she’s stretched a little thin. It makes it hard to talk, that’s all.”

“Fine, forget Glimmer.” Discord pointed towards the tent. “Are you sure she won’t try to murder my lovely bride.” Discord gave a half smile, almost as though amused by the idea.

“Aw c’mon you know her better than that!”

---

Fluttershy could hear a pair of scissors snapping from behind her.

“So how does this traditional Breezie Wedding mane-style work.”

“You braid water lilies into the ponies hair. You won’t need to cut anything.” The second part she spoke softly, as though it was an after-thought.

“Oh I can do that.”

“That is a relief.”

Lily put the stem of a flower between her teeth, and started work on Fluttershy’s braids. First divided her mane carefully into two sections, then started to tie the first knot. There was a mumbling that Fluttershy couldn’t quite understand.

“What was that you said?”

Lily spit out the flower and spoke again. “I get plenty of practice untying knots in my own mane, so tying them up is a snap.”

Fluttershy giggled. “Really, what causes your mane to get so tangled?”

“My hair gets caught in a propellor.”

“Oh my! Like a ceiling fan?”

“Something like that.”

“Does it hurt?”

Lily wanted to say: ’only if I’m high in the air when it happens.’ Instead she changed the subject.

“So, you in the Jabberwocky seem… different. I’m curious, what brought the two of you together.”

Fluttershy took a moment to collect her thoughts.

“I was the first friend Discord had in a long time. He’d been trapped and stone, and even before that he was” — Fluttershy searched for the appropriate word.

“Evil.”

“Yes, so he hadn’t had any real friends for a long while. Now Discord wasn’t the type that needed to ease his way out of his safety zone. That’s what I admire about him. He wanted to go to places, and try all the things he couldn’t do when he was alone. I’m afraid I wasn’t a very good friend for him. There were so many places I was afraid to go, and things I was too timid to do. For the first few months we just had tea parties together. I made it part of my routine. I switched some days around, just to make it a little chaotic, but Discord must have been so bored.”

“Eh, sounds better then nothin’. I think you’re being a lil’ hard on y’-self.”

“Are you okay Lily? Your voice sounded different just now.”

Lily tied another knot before answering.

“Did it?”

“You know Lily, we’ve both lived in Ponyville for a long time, and yet I hardly know a thing about you.”

“Is that so?”

Pretending to look for a comb, Lily searched the room. It didn’t take her long to find what she was looking for. Starlight really ought to learn some new hiding places. She didn’t want to touch the object directly so she grabbed a piece of silk cloth and wrapped it inside. Then she returned to Fluttershy’s hair.

“Will a brush work?” Fluttershy passed her a brush.

“Sure.”

Lily brushed some hair, beneath the last braid, just for appearances.

“My family lived in a secluded area. We were sorta out in the wilderness. I never saw any other ponies growing up.”

“Was it lonely?”

“Nah.”

“So you must have had brothers and sisters.”

“No, I had fun parents. My Dad was really funny guy, and the lady I thought was my mom…”

“I’m sorry, did you just say the lady you thought was your mom?”

“It’s an honest mistake. She lived in our house, and she looked way more like me then my dad did, and even she couldn’t remember where I came from.”

“Oh.”

“The hardest part was leaving. I kept saying I wanted to, insisting I was grown up enough, then we actually did. Sometimes I still think I should’a kept my pie hole shut.”

“That must have been a big adjustment for you.” Fluttershy had figured out that some sort of accent was slipping out. This meant that Lily was letting her guard down, and it felt that it would have been wrong to give her a hard time over it.

“Yeah, hey I dunno why I’m telling you all this, especially on yer wedding day.”

“Oh it’s okay. I did ask after all.”

“Y’know your pretty easy to talk to. I like that. I like you.”

“I like you to Lily. Maybe we should get together more often when this is all over.”

“Right back at’cha doll.” She spun Fluttershy’s chair around to face the mirror. “So what do ya think.”

Fluttershy took a moment to admire what Lily had done. Her quite made Lily a little nervous. “My mane is beautiful. You’re incredible Lily.”

The other pony smiled.

---

When ready to leave, Lily lifted the backside of the tent from the ground and slid underneath. She expected that Twilight might be waiting near the front door and hoped to sneak by her. This perplexed Fluttershy a little bit, but it was far from the strangest thing that happened this day.

It seemed as though her gamble had paid off.

Lily heard two voices. The pony crept a little bit towards the front, and found a bush to hide behind, so that she could hear them more clearly.

Discord placed a paw on Twilght’s shoulder. Twilight leaned in and smiled. Twilight looked up to the sky. It wasn’t sunset yet.

“Say Discord, why is it you and I never got together.” Twilight half joked

“We did. Remember Las Pegasus?”

Twilight had to think about that one.

“Are you sure it was me that time?”

“Listen Twilight, there is something very tragic about being your friend for so long. Every time your heart is broken is like the first time — because you forgot the last time! When something bad happens, it hits you harder because you don’t remember that you already survived worse. You never become cynical, or detached, like immortals are supposed to.”

“Princess Celestia wasn’t detached, and neither are you.”

“I drift in and out.” Discord petted Twilights chin. “That girl, she broke your heart. I know you think those were happy times, and often they were.”

Twilight found it hard to believe. To her those were not just happy days, they were the happiest of days. “I remember a lot of it, but some details are sketchy. Why were we living together in your chaos realm?”

“We weren’t ‘together,’ if you’re wondering about that. My daughter was dangerous. It wasn’t her fault. She was a toddler, with draconequus powers. The first time another kid annoyed her, she turned him into a duck.”

“She always thought ducks were cute.”

“All we could do was isolate her until she was mature enough to integrate with other ponies, but you thought that was a horrible idea, because being isolated would stunt her maturity. You gave up everything for fifteen years to help raise her. We even had to seal ourselves in the realm to make sure she couldn’t sneak out.”



“Oh yeah, that’s what happened. But it all worked out right. I mean look what a fine adult she turned into.”

---

At that moment the real Lilly Valley was tied to a chair and gagged in her hotel room. She struggled to get out. She also really had to pee.

---

“You really think they’ll be okay together.”

“Sure, it might be a little ruff at first, but who wouldn’t warm up to Fluttershy.” Twilight spoke matter-of-factly.

Discord gave a slight laugh. “It’d really be a shame if they didn’t get along. As a father, I was not prepared, but what I did right, so much of it came from Fluttershy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Reading pony-tales to her before bed, using animal friends to teach her to be responsible and nurturing, having play tea parties with those cucumber sandwiches she loved, I learned all that from Fluttershy. It’s as thought she’s been with us all this time.”

“You really still love her, don’t you.”

Discord thought for a moment. He didn’t cry or look wistfully at the sky or anything like that. Finally he laughed a little and said: “Yeah, I guess I do.”

---

Carefully the pony we all thought was Lily unwrapped a silk doily to reveal the item that was contained inside. One would never guess the items true power by looking at it; for it looked like a simple hunk of useless rubble. What Lily actually held in her hoof was a broken off fragment of an ancient Changeling artifact used to negate magic.

The fragment was not as powerful as the complete artifact had once been, yet it still had its uses.

Artifact fragments were known to keep magic users from teleporting into a small area, like a bathroom or dressing room. It’s rumoured that Princess Celestia used to place them in her armouries and treasuries, as if anyone would go visit such boring places.

If one were to touch the fragment directly, it would negate all magic. This meant that the pony touching the object would neither be able to use magic or have spells cast upon her. That was so boring. In the past, she always avoided them like kryptonite. Today, however, might be different.

True if she touched the object then she wouldn’t be able to use magic. It wouldn’t even be possible to maintain the spell that made her look like Lily Valley the flower pony. On the other hand, no magic could be used against her, including — and this made her smile a wicked smile, — including the spell that transformed her into a breezie.

---

The earth shook. Daisy and Rainbow Dash braced themselves against the trunk of a huge flower.

When it seemed to stop, they pushed onwards, then came another tremor.

They seemed to come and go at a regular pace, a brisk pace like that of a ponies gallop.

Rainbow Dash was the first to spot something off in the distance. They could not be sure how far away it was. Their reduced size, was messing with their sense of perspective.

The creature off in the distance let forth a mighty roar. It sounded like a lions roar played backwards on a scratchy vinyl record.

The two ponies hugged each other, gripped in abject terror. It was a pony, sort of. She had oddly spiralled eyes, a light purple coat, a mane of white and dark purple curls, and most distinctive of all wore a beanie (propellor hat) atop her head.

She was just a pony, not even a tall pony, yet compared to a breezie her size seemed monstrous. This was none other than the princess of chaos and daughter of Discord herself. This was Screwball.

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