• Published 26th Oct 2017
  • 1,366 Views, 19 Comments

The Pain of the Past - milesprower06



It's terrifying how the mind can dig up your darkest moments while you sleep defenselessly. After all, your past is never forgotten. You just think about it less.

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Power

"It's got to be around here somewhere..." Starlight mused, looking at her topographic map of the surrounding mountainous area. Even up here, she could hear the echoes of the saws and hammers down in the valley where the village cottages were being constructed. She had selected this area because of the cutie mark magic she had detected, but she had been unable to pinpoint it. She had spent years studying and preparing for this, and now when it was this close, it was evading her.

As she made her way up the path, the hammers and sawing gave out to a sharper, shorter chinking noise. She looked to her right, and saw a gray earth mare picking at a small rock. It couldn't hurt to ask her, right? She looked like a surveyor or geologist of some kind. She walked up and saw the simple blue frock she wore, with saddlebags containing various samples. On the ground next to her latest sample was a compass and hammer, along with the pickaxe she had just set down.

"Psst! Do you know a lot about rocks?" The unicorn asked.

"Yes."

The mare was solidly focused on the rock she had just split, and was paying minimal attention to her.

"Have you ever come across some kind of super-powerful stone that can store the cutie mark magic of... I don't know... An entire village?"

"Yep. In the big cave."

Starlight turned to look. There, southeast of the valley, was a cave entrance up in one of the tallest mountains this close to the village. Perfect. She turned and galloped away from the mare without another word, heading back down to her village. It had been two months, and her little settlement was 10 strong currently. She had selected this area because of the magic she detected; for now, her residents' marks were being kept in enchanted jars in her cottage, but that was hardly going to do. She needed a more permanent solution. Stopping briefly to smile and wave at her residents who were taking a short break from construction, she made a quick stop in her cottage to grab her saddlebags and one of the jars, then continued through the central street of town. She then headed due south towards the mountain the earth mare had directed her to. A short climb later, she came to the mouth of the cave. Yes, the mare was right; it was definitely in here, she could feel it. The magic was emanating from somewhere in here.

Casting an illumination spell, she made her way inside, a beam of light being cast forward from the tip of her horn. The cave was dark and damp, but luckily for her, the passage did not branch off, so hopefully this would be a short search. After several minutes of heading deeper and deeper, her hornlight shined on a solid wall in front of her, and the magic was strongest here.

This was it! She stepped forward, and examined the wall. It was perfectly flat, and positively thrumming with magic.

Starlight dug in her saddlebag, and retrieved the enchanted jar. Inside, was the cutie mark of her first resident; Double Diamond; a trio of snowflakes. She removed the lid, and magically grasped the mark, and placed it against the wall. Yes, this would do, but not on it's own. This wall had the ability to hold cutie mark magic, but not effectively contain it. It would need to be augmented. If she could construct an iron frame, and use sheets of enchanted glass to contain them, she would no longer need her jars. For now, she returned the snowflake cutie mark to it's jar and tucked it safely back in her saddlebags. She turned and began to make her way out of the cave.

There was work to do...


Starlight sat under the clear, starry night of Our Town, ten feet from the tree that had replaced her cottage. Tears streamed down her face as she looked at the tree as the moon shined down on it. She was here... Now what?

"Starlight...?" She heard a voice call from her left. She turned and saw Double Diamond walking towards her. When he saw her tears, his face went from curiosity to concern.

"Double Diamond..." She greeted, sniffling and wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Are you alright? What are you doing out here, it's the middle of the night."

"No," Starlight told him, shaking her head. "I'm not alright. I've had a really rough night. That's why I'm out here."

As Double Diamond came up to her side and sat down next to her, she returned her gaze to the tree.

"Anything I can do to help?" He asked her.

"I'm not sure yet. There's... Something inside me. A creature of the dream realm that gave me the worst nightmare I can ever remember. Princess Luna told me that it's a manifestation of guilt that I haven't let go of; the guilt of what I did here, to all of you."

Double Diamond listened silently.

"I... I was in the vault cave... And an older version of myself confronted me and... And unmarked me... And... And it was awful..." Starlight's voice shook as fresh tears fell from her eyes.

"It was only a nightmare..." Double Diamond attempted to console her.

"No. It wasn't. It was exactly what I did to all of you. It reached deep down inside and caused such a pain beyond anything I've ever felt physically or mentally... It scared me out of my mind. And Luna says I have to figure out how to put it behind me, or else it's only going to get worse.

Double Diamond put a hoof on her shoulder.

"How can I help?" He asked her. She turned her gaze away from the tree and met his cobalt eyes.

"I remember... How we met. You were the first. Party Favor, Night Glider, and Sugar Belle... They came a few weeks later, but you were the first to give up your mark, willingly. Why did you come out here?" She asked him.

"I suppose I was having an existential crisis of my own at the time. I had just finished competing in the Equestria Games. An enthusiastic young griffon fan came up to me and told me that he wished that he could have a cutie mark so he could know what he's good at. And just like that, everything I thought I knew slowly melted away. I started wondering why only Equestrians got cutie marks. I told my team I was taking a sabbatical, looking for fresh locations to practice. That's when I met you on these mountains. I thought you had the answers I was looking for. In a way, I suppose you did."

Starlight looked at him, confused.

"'In a way'? What do you mean by that? No individuality beyond a name, bad muffins and burlap cloaks, and you still think that was your answer 'in a way'?" She asked him incredulously.

"I didn't mean it like that, Starlight. What I mean is... Can you guess how many villagers left after the revolt? Zero."

"What...?"

"Not a single pony left. We all came here because we were missing something in our lives. Maybe we all thought your vision of equality was it, but after you escaped, we realized what we were all looking for; each other. We got to know each other all over again, and we've made some of the closest friends we've ever had right here. That's what our Sunset Festival is, and why we invited you to our second one. In a way, it's thanks to you, Starlight. When the sun sets on one horizon, it dawns on another."

Starlight wiped her eyes again.

"I'm so... So sorry. I know I keep saying that, but-"

"No buts," Double Diamond began. "Keep saying it. To me, to anyone else here, to Princess Twilight, to yourself... However many times you need to. Whatever you need to say or do to make peace with this part of your past and move towards forgiving yourself."

Starlight recalled Princess Luna's words, and something inside clicked.

'I was unable to do it alone. Do whatever you must to relieve yourself of your guilt and make peace with your past.'

"It's going to take more than a string of 'sorrys' to fix this. Double Diamond, you can help me. Come on!"

Starlight began galloping down towards the southeast mountain, and Double Diamond quickly gave chase behind her up the path to the vault cave. She fired up an illumination spell and rushed in, and Double Diamond had to double-time it to keep from falling into the dark. Together, they skidded to a halt in front of a location that hadn't been visited in over a year; the Cutie Mark Vault.

Countless shards of glass littered the floor in front of the vault and all around the pedestal. The magical grid had vanished as well. All that remained on the wall was the iron frame. In front of the wall, on the ground among the glass, was her Staff of Sameness. Clearing away the glass in front of her, she walked forward, bent down, and took the staff in her front hooves. Then, looking up at the remnants of the vault, her horn lit up brighter as she took hold of the iron frame, and began to pull. The intensity of her horn's glow increased such that Double Diamond had to shield his eyes with a hoof. There was a horrible creaking noise as the frame began to loosen. It bent and twisted as Starlight concentrated harder and harder to wrestle it free from the corners. Finally, with one last earsplitting creak, it came loose, sending dust and pebbles down from the cave roof as the frame came crashing down to the limestone floor.

Starlight gasped for breath as she saw the top piece of the frame had detached from the sides. She took a deep breath, and lit her horn up again, using her telekinesis to pry and tear at the frame. Firing a heat beam at it, she twisted and intertwined it around the double prongs of the Staff of Sameness. When she was done, she had combined the staff and half of the top of the iron frame into a large, somewhat unwieldy pickaxe, though Double Diamond believed it could also easily pass for a terrifying scythe.

"What are you going to do?" He asked her.

"There's a dark magic in this wall. I used it to build the vault. With your help, I can destroy it and dispel the energy within, so no one else can do what I did."

"How can I help? I don't know anything about magic."

"No, but to make sure this doesn't break," Starlight said, leaning the improvised tool against the central pedestal, "I need to put a powerful enchantment on it. So powerful that when it's done, I won't have the energy left to magically lift it on my own. I'll need the strength of an Earth pony to help me swing it hard enough to shatter the wall."

Double Diamond thought for a moment, then nodded.

"Just let me know when you're ready."

"I won't be able to promise your safety, Double Diamond. I can't be sure of what will happen when we break through. We may have to get out of here in a hurry." She warned.

"I told you to do whatever you have to. I told you I would help. I had a hoof in convincing a lot of other ponies to stay in Our Town over the years, to accept your vision. I'm not going anywhere." The white stallion said confidently. Starlight smiled at him, touched at his dedication.

"Alright."

She turned to her staff-turned-pickaxe, and closed her eyes, and her horn came to life again. She took a deep breath as smokey motes of light traveled from the tip of her horn to the frame that made up the blade.

"Da mihi vires,
ad finem dolor,
ex hoc loco,
muro frangere,
quæ continebat,
innocentes animarum.
Peccata mea sunt,
sic non repetitur hoc loco."

To Double Diamond, Starlight reciting her enchantment didn't appear particularly taxing, but sure enough, when she finished, and the magical energy was finished transferring, her horn flickered, then went out completely, and Starlight faltered on her hooves. He ran up to her and made sure she didn't fall over.

"Okay, it's ready." Starlight said. Indeed, the entire thing was glowing with sickly purple energy now, and together, they dragged it so it was directly in front of the rock wall that had made up the grid of the vault. Double Diamond got his two front hooves around the bottom of the staff, and Starlight put one right above his, and the other further up. They nodded to each other, brought the axe up, and swung it vertically at the wall as hard and as fast as they could, and it met with a clang. A few pieces were chipped away, and they pulled it out and swung again. Dust and granulated limestone fell on the two ponies from the ceiling as the cave began to shudder, and still, they didn't stop. To keep up her strength and determination, Starlight began yelling and screaming with every swing, while Double Diamond merely kept to short grunts.

Finally, after a full two minutes, their next swing broke through to... Something... And a blindingly bright white light shot out through the cracks, which began to expand through the entire wall.

"Come on, let's go!" Double Diamond said. Together they dropped the staff, and turned and ran as the cave shook violently. They barely made it past the center pedestal when the wall's thrums of energy dramatically increased in pitch, and Starlight turned to look, just in time to see the wall explode outward in a flash of light.

The last thing Starlight felt was a warm wetness on her forehead, and heard a muffled Double Diamond scream her name.

"Starlight!!!"

Author's Note:

Just so no one goes off to Google Translate (which is notoriously unreliable for Latin translation) to wonder what in Celestia's name Starlight's enchantment was, here is a rough translation taken from a variety of translators:

"Give me the strength to end the pain from this passage.
To break the wall that contained innocent souls.
So that my sins are never again repeated in this place."

Translating English to Latin for simpler, 1-3 word phrases for magic like in "Every Little Thing She Does..." isn't terribly hard, but that was a freaking headache.

Thanks for reading, and just one more to go. Hopefully. Splitting up longer chapters is a curse of mine.