A Comedy in Three Lessons

by Knowledge

Tartarus

The doorknob felt cold against my hoof as I swallowed my fear. I thought I could make out "Abandon hope all ye who enter here" carved into live oak door frame with what must have been a rather sharp quill or somepony's horn. If I didn't have to go to Las Pegasus to send a package later today, I would have put off coming to this place. Opening the door to Golden Oaks Library, the manic glare of the librarian, who moonlighted as a national leader, greeted me.

I would had fainted from sheer fright if not for the sudden jolt of being telekinetically dragged inside. The lavender librarian dumped me in front of a bin. I took a moment to regain my bearings. I noticed how impeccably clean and organized everything was...almost disturbingly so. There was a antiseptic smell filling the supernaturally still air similar to that of a hospital, which did not belong in an old tree house.

In the far side of the room at a writing deck sat what looked like a small purple and green drake. I say drake because he didn't have any wings as dragons do. The petite draconid gave me a worried glance before writing something down on a scroll.

A loud 'Ahem' from the purple pony reminded me of my purpose of entering this damned repository of unicorn arcana in the first place. Lifting the flap of my saddle bags, I fetched the heavy burden from my pack and placed it softly and squarely into the bin. I turned around and trotted back to the door. I avoided eye contact with the messy-maned she-demon by staring at the floor. Nine growth rings formed nine concentric circles in this hell for the kin of ken. I could see from my peripheral vision a green flash of flame from the drake. Did that guy just burn the letter he had written? I dared not entertain my curiosity further less the Beast entertain hers on me.

After what felt like hours (time-space had been clearly altered by some prior inharmonious magic), I exited that damnable den of ken. As I closed the oak door, I heard a loud pop and got a glimpse of a large alabaster flank. With the door closed and that Tartarus resealed, I took a deep breath and swore:

"I am never ever going to have an overdue book again."