Prologue: The Masters
~~~POV: Pocano~~~
"Poc," said a voice, though I was too tired to bother recognizing it.
"Jus' fi'e more minute'," I respond, my voice slurred tiredly.
"Poc, wake up or I'll put you in the Vulcan Death Grip... again," the voice threatened, which made me aware of who it was and had me wide awake.
"Alright, I'm up," I said, yawning and wiping the sleep from my eyes, "sorry for being this tired Ty, that new group of students wore me out and made me more sore than Shifu felt after fighting with Tai Lung in the movie."
"I know what you mean," Tyler said as he nodded in understanding, "the more experienced children are rough to keep track of all by myself, so keeping track of the inexperienced ones must've been a literal pain in your back, huh?"
"Yep," I said, as I got off my bed and stretched my back, arms, and legs, popping them in the process.
"Still though," I continued, as I moved to my dresser and pulled out a white robe, pants, and a black belt, "I wouldn't change a thing that happened that allowed us to make it this far, helping children learn how to defend themselves if put in a combative situation."
"And teaching them when to use it," Tyler said, wisely, "I don't remember how many times we had to punish our own students for using our lessons for their own gain. Yet if they didn't learn their lesson, we had to force them to leave and have their parents keep them from here, kind of reminds me of...," he went silent.
"Yeah," I replied, knowing what he was referring to, putting on the belt around the robe, "we just gotta keep the students on the right track and not let them believe that they are entitled to everything they want."
"Right...," Tyler then looked at the black watch on his left wrist and his eyes widened, "crap, OK we've got to move, on the double! Ten minutes 'til!"
My eyes then widened, "Shit, OK you go down, get our gear, load the car, start the car, and I'll get our laptop, our papers, and paper work."
He nodded then practically ran out my bedroom door, I pulled out the laptop from under my bed, grabbed my keys, wallet, phone, and closed the door as I sped out of my bedroom.
~~~8 minutes later~~~
We just got to our business with little time to spare, it was a MMA gym that we called 'Jade Warriors', though this place was able to teach it to kids, not just adults, safely. We open the place to students and people who want to learn an hour later normally, but today we had just received our online order for our gym to celebrate its first successful year of teaching. It represents what we work to achieve, what we must protect, and what we must learn.
Tyler and I have the box holding our order, which was almost as long as our 6 foot wide desk was wide.
"Ready?" I asked Tyler as I shook with anticipation.
"Of course," he said with a calm, yet wide smile.
I opened the box and there it laid, the Yin Yang Staff, supposedly made completely out of jade, like the one in Kung Fu Panda 3. I picked it up gently, being careful in case it was fragile, and... somehow, it felt just right holding it.
"Incredible," Tyler said, he looked in awe of it, "they really made it out of jade, you just can't replicate this color jade has."
I held it in both hands towards him, then gestured towards the place on the wall we have prepared for it to be placed with my head. "Here, you should place it on the wall, brother," I said.
He looked at me, then the staff, then to place on the wall, and finally back at me and gave me a small smile. "Thank you, brother," he said, as he grabbed the staff, "may this represent our bond of friendship, forever-"
Suddenly to head of the staff, the Yin Yang, started to glow, and startled us. As quickly as it happened we had no time to react as the glow on the Yin Yang suddenly arced towards us, and then all that I could see was darkness.
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Hmmmmmmmmmm..........
Go on...........
I 'm enjoying this story of yours. There are a few error I want to point out so you can either correct them or learn from them.
It's a simple one eveyone has done before. The "Ands" doesn't need to be there.
This part just needs a bit of rewording or explanation. I find myself confused.With the way you've written it, It seems like Poc has acutally fought Tai Lung and was given intense training by Shifu after the fact. but later on we discover they are human and aren't a part of the Kung Fu Panda universe. Be careful with how you word things, a single word out of place can change the entire meaning of a paragraph.
Don't forget to capitalize.
The semi colon isn't needed. You can put a period and quotation mark then a small bit after then start a new sentence. Exp: "I don't remember how many times we had to punish our own students for using our lessons of their own gain." Tyler shook his head in disappointment.
"Yet if they didn't learn their lesson, we had to force them to leave and have their parents keep them from here, kind of reminds me of..." Just and example.
Hope this helps. and don't let people keep you from doing what you enjoy. i personally like Displaced stories cause there's a near infinite amount of options available to the writer to choose from. So many ideas, thoughts, scenarios, plots, twists and turns galore. Also if it's a self insert, it just means you have an active imagination and are able to put yourself into the role of your character. I find doing that extremely helpful when writing. I wish you luck and if you need any help don't be afraid to ask.
8594843
First off, impressive user picture.
Second. Thanks for the advice!