everypony and somepony must be spaced. Every pony and some pony. unless you want to make it fast then put a hyphen every-pony and some-pony.

this right here needs to be fixed.

All she felt now was smack after smack to her bare flank.

this should be right

All she felt is a smack to her bare flank. Present tense

She felted felt a smack on her bare flank. Past tense

Another way to put it is

All she felt now was a smack to her bare flank.

hey i thought you stoped writing writing on here

8390912

everypony and somepony must be spaced. Every pony and some pony. unless you want to make it fast then put a hyphen every-pony and some-pony.

This is incorrect. Just like it's "everybody" and not "every body", or "someone" and not "some one"

Didn't read the story, but saw your comment and wanted to correct a semi-common misconception.

8391330
It's called a hyphen

the sign -, used to join words to indicate that they have a combined meaning or that they are linked in the grammar of a sentence (as in pick-me-up, rock-forming ), to indicate the division of a word at the end of a line, or to indicate a missing or implied element (as in short- and long-term ).

8391357
I understand the concept of a hyphen. You're just using it incorrectly. As you said, a hyphen is used to join words. The problem is "everypony" is one word. No need for a space or a hyphen.

8391366
I thought it was two words.

8391374
It's not. Easy mistake, Just try to be more cautious in the future. The last thing we need is more perpetuation of misinformation

8391385
8391374

Actually, you're both right. In my country, every body is two words. There is no reason to be harsh. I like to use hyphens but, in theory, we shouldn't argue.

UK: centre, theatre

US: center, theater

see how these words are different.

It's the same as hyphens and no hyphens we all use different kinds of grammar.

Now on to the fiction at hoof.

I read this and it made me smile so much... I like it so far and you get an 8/10 from me.

I can't wait for more sex on this fiction :)

However, there is some grammar that needs fixing just a bit but, it can't stop you from writing the second chapter.

8391330

Since we all have different kinds of grammar try not to attack a user without reading the story at first.

Didn't read the story, but saw your comment and wanted to correct a semi-common misconception.

Don't attack users from their own grammar experience.

8391428
No one is attacking anyone. I saw something wrong, and I wanted to correct him.

I think you are also wrong, but I don't have the patience to respond to you right now.

Me reading the story has nothing to do with correcting this dude's false presumptions on the word "somepony".

Come off your high horse, bud

8390912

I'm not going to say both of your suggestions are wrong, but the second one is definitely wrong. Although, being open to cultural differences in language, I'm going to say either/or is correct for the "everybody" vs "every body" thing. Same with the hyphen thing, but a hyphen being used is not common. It's like using a semi-colon in front of a compound sentence's coordinating conjunction. It's done often, but it's technically accurate.

Secondly, no offense, but you're not too sound grammatically yourself. I'm not saying this to insult you, but I'm saying this, because I can't understand your suggestion, due to the fact it's not a cohesive sentence. So, instead, let me break this down and perhaps you can help me understand what you're getting at?

You're saying this:

All she felt now was smack after smack to her bare flank.

is incorrect? Right?

Well, it's not. It's a very poor sentence, I'll say that much. But there's nothing about it that's "incorrect."

Secondly:

She felted a smack on her bare flank. Past tense

This suggestion is wrong. Felt is the past tense of feel, not felted. Felted isn't a word, or at least not in that sense.

I appreciate that you're trying to help out an author, which is good on you, but I'm of the opinion... if you're don't know what you're talking about, don't pretend like you do. Say the author was incorrect—which they aren't, albeit, it's a poor sentence—they would be taking your advice, which wouldn't be helping them, because either way they're wrong.

I appreciate what you're trying to do, but make sure you know what you're talking about before you offer advice.

8391438
8391438

This is in no shape, form, way, or fashion an attack. All Chillbook did was correct what was technically wrong, which is more than I can say for Flora Blossom, although what they did was unintentional.

8391246
Ya me too, but then I did it again.... I don;t know how to stop...

8390912

8391330

8391388

8391543

First off thank you all for your comments and help, though I am a high school and suck at grammar. I mostly use Grammarly for help but I can't pay for it so it isn't the best. If anyone wants to go through and help me with it I am all ears.

8391913

I wouldn't worry about your grammar, 'hon. It's readable and better than other stuff on the site. Of course, you could definitely improve, but you're also in high school so it's no biggie.

If you'd like an editor or someone who could teach you some grammar rules or how to improve your writing, there are several users on the site who are willing, you'd just have to look around. ^^

8391913
I can take a look at things. If you're fine with some waiting time, that is, sometimes I need a while to get around to proofreading (not usually longer than a day though!).

8393672
That would be amazing thank you.