• Published 18th Jun 2017
  • 4,643 Views, 95 Comments

Not a Crazed Gunman... - base4



The Sniper from TF2 dies, for real, and is thrust into a world of ponies. Nobody is happy about this.

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Ya twitchy hooligan!

It was some time before noon when Twilight finally decided to bring me into town. She had spent almost an hour teaching me about all the different types of ponies and their anatomy and whatnot. I gleaned nothing useful except where to shoot for a kill.

When we strolled into town, I got a lot of very strange looks, ranging from confusion to shock. The fact that I was following a Princess didn't seem to alleviate that much, considering that those stares were the same kind that Starlight gave me when I walked into the Kitchen.

As we approached the center of Ponyville, I began to lock up a bit. Being seen by these many people at once was nerve-racking. I would have prefered to be alone, honestly, high up on a balcony somewhere, scouting out the terrain. Unfortunately, I was dragged along against my will.

"We're going to meet Pinkie Pie first. She's a party planner and thrower, as well as a baker," Twilight explained. "She lives up in Sugarcube corner. You'll know it when you see it."

And by God did I ever. There was a reasonably sized building made to look like a gingerbread house sitting in the middle of a reasonably sized clearing. It was covered with pink from head to toe, giving it a very... well, I wouldn't say warm feeling.

When we walked inside Sugarcube Corner, it lived up to its name. There were pastries under the counter in all different shapes, sizes, and colors, and bright, colorful decorations throughout. A lone mare with a blue coat and pink hair sat behind the glass counter.

"Hello, welcome to-" She froze, gazing at my figure. "-Sugarcube... Corner."

Twilight spoke up. "Hello, Mrs. Cake, I'm here with a new friend who I'd like Pinkie to meet." She gave her a comforting smile.

"U-uh... Oh, yes! Of course, I'll go get her." She looked up the staircase to her side. "Pin-" she began, as a pink pony with poofy hair slid down the railing of the staircase.

"Here!" She smiled with glee.

"Hey Pinkie! I was just stopping by so you could meet our new friend, Sniper," she said.

Pinkie stared with wide eyes. She jumped into the air, screaming with joy. "Oh. My. GOSH. A NEW PON-" She stopped suddenly. "Wait, you're not a pony! What is he, Twilight?"

"Human," Twilight swiftly replied.

How'd she know that? I never told her I was-

"A NEW HUMAN!" she continued, bursting into the air and enveloping me in a hug.

I grunted in surprise at the gesture, looking down to my waist. "Bloody hell sheila, calm down!"

She released her death grip, freeing me. "Oh I'm sorry!" she began. "I'm just so excited that there's somepony new in town! Okay, maybe not somepony, but I'm still SO EXCITED!"

A small scowl began to form on my face.

She continued her ramble. "I am gonna throw you such a big party, with balloons and streamers and a BIG cake to welcome you to Ponyville!" She gave a grin that was just a little too wide. "I gotta go get started! Oh, what kind of cake do you want, and what colors do you want at the party? Maybe it should be red because your clothes are red! Or do you want something else, like..."

The scowl grew.

"...ooh! How about sky blue! That's a good counter-color to red, so maybe you'll pop out more in the party! Or green, the opposite of red! Should the cake be the same color as the decorations? Well, maybe not, it'd blend into the scenery! We co-"

"ALRIGHT, I BLOODY GET IT! YOU'RE GONNA THROW ME A PARTY, NOW SHUT YOUR YAPPER!" I yelled. I clenched my brow and grumbled.

Twilight gasped at my outburst. She gave me a look that conveyed both shock and disappointment.

Pinkie had stopped talking and was looking at me with wide eyes. Her mane seemed to deflate a little, and her pink become a duller shade. I could see tears forming in her bright blue eyes, sparkling like crystals.

I saw her figure there, drooping in sorrow, and my scowl turned into a pure frown. I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't force out any words.

That face.

Lip quivering, a memory began to surface.


"Charge!" The gates opened on Upward, a place as hot as hell but not really as low as it. Our team ran out of spawn as I took a shot at the enemy Sniper, dropping him to the ground. Our soldier began rocket jumping up the hill, aiming to cut off the BLU Scout coming towards us. He landed with a crack, dropping to the side of his target, and began firing. The Scout took notice, quickly maneuvering out of the way of the first rocket, double jumping as a second was fired. He flew to the right, taking a shot at the Soldier. As he landed, a rocket caught him in the feet, sending him upwards as a shotgun blast sent him careening into the wall, dead.

Our Demoman approached him and fired pipes as a Heavy rounded the corner. The Soldier, reloading, was caught off guard and was quickly mowed down by the approaching Heavy. Suffering casualties from the pipes, he began his retreat, when a sticky bomb landed below him, blowing him to giblets.

On the opposite side of the field, our Scout had jumped from the rooftop, ambushing a Demoman and his Medic. The Medic quickly activated his Ubercharge, nullifying the Scout's assault, as our Heavy came rounding the corner out of spawn. He retreated backward, realizing his mistake, and was nearly blown to bits by the Demo's assault. Meanwhile, the Scout, waiting out the Uber, was hiding behind the opposite corner.

Our Pyro came rushing out to meet the Uber, airblasting them back. The Demo took advantage of the airblast timing and fired a single pipe bomb into the Pyro as he was pushed back again. Our Medic took the stage and began healing the Pyro, only for the mumbling man to be blown apart by another pipe. Separated from his pocket, the Medic ran back, firing his syringe gun as our Heavy again rounded the corner. The Demoman's Ubercharge ran out, prompting our Scout to make his move. The Demoman switched to his sticky launcher, firing at the Heavy, while our Scout ran behind the Medic, blasting him with bullets. He switched to his pistol as the Medic pulled out his Ubersaw, chipping at his health until the Medic slouched over and died.

The Medic down, he switched his attention to the Demo when a shot flew through his head. He turned to see a lone Spy firing his revolver at him, and quickly intercepted. Two shots to the chest later, the Spy was dead, and he turned his attention back to the Demoman.

The Demo had gotten lucky and landed a critical sticky, exploding the Medic in the process. Our Heavy worked to mow him down and I provided a supporting shot, narrowly missing as the Demoman inadvertently dodged my bullet. He died a second later, riddled with bullets, and our team began to advance.

Our Spy was already working out a plan to sap the enemy's Sentry setup as our Soldier respawned and took to the cart. He flew down from the building above the Engineer, sapping his gadgets, only for a pyro to set him ablaze. He pulled out his flare gun, ready to end the poor spy, when I pulled the trigger, landing a cool 150 on his head. Damaged from the shot, the Spy pulled a revolver and finished the job. The Engineer removed the sapper from his sentry as our Heavy began firing, killing the heavy in one shift motion. Our Demoman fired a few pipes into the structure, taking it down and killing the Engineer in the process.

I deviated from the path of the cart, moving over to the point where our Scout had been hiding to get a clear shot on whatever poor soul on BLU spawned next. I scoped in, waiting for a target. It was then that I heard a sound not unlike coughing, and quickly flipped around to meet it. I saw the BLU Spy, sitting with his back against the wall, clutching his wounds. I unscoped, eyeing him.

A dead ringer lay next to him, apparently used during the battle, and he was bleeding profusely. His revolver in his hand, he looked up at me, and cringed nervously. I gave him a confused look before putting away my rifle. I walked over to him, standing above his body, and crouched to meet him.

"Hehehe... Take a butcher's at this." I smirked wickedly. "Looks like we've got a lone spook."

"Just get it over with, you filthy bushman," he said weakly.

The smirk left my face. "Whatever you say." I drew my kukri, ready to strike. I wound up my arm, and swung down...

As I swung, the world seemed to almost stop, halting at that peculiar moment. I looked at the Spy, sitting on the ground, his eyes clenched in fear as tears ran down his mask. His face, laden with sadness, had a frown that could bring a man to tears, and he slumped in agony, awaiting his inevitable demise.

...but I stopped. Right before my knife connected with his forehead, I stopped. It took me a second to register what I had just done. He looked up at me.

The tears that stained his mask seemed to fade away as a look of confusion took the place of his frown. I drew back the kukri, sheathing it, and fell to my haunches.

We stared for a while, looking at each other as we both pondered what had just transpired. I had spared the BLU Spy. He was confused, and so was I, both for the same and for different reasons, and we just sat there, thinking about them.

"Why?" he asked.

I clenched my head in frustration. "I-I don't know. I just... stopped."

We went silent for a moment contemplating our words.

"Why do we kill, Sniper?" he said.

I looked up at him, unsure of what to say.

"Is it truly all zat necessary? To die over and over, living a life of war?" he pondered aloud.

"Maybe." I looked to the battle in the distance. "Maybe not."

"I don't want it be necessary. I hate zis. I am tired of it all," he expressed. "Zere is no rest, Sniper. No rest from this endless war." He gave a serious, but regretful look. "Every day I must work endlessly, only to fail again."

His figure sank, filled with tears. I stared, and my heart, one that I thought cold, sank with him.


The flashback stopped. I had remembered enough.

I sank to my knees, tears in my eyes, and looked to Pinkie. I grabbed her into a hug, as tight as I could, and spoke two words.

"I'm sorry."

Author's Note:

Well that was certainly a change in tone. Hopefully, the leap wasn't too jarring. I assure you though, there's a reason for why everything is happening the way that it is.

I should be clear that this flashback is only one part of why Sniper reacted the way he did. I've been keeping many details hidden up until this point, and this chapter is the first one that starts to hint at them.

Start putting it together, folks!

Considering adding Drama as a tag.
Update: After reviewing the Tag Information section on the site, I have decided that yes, this deserves the Drama tag, because the story will have a lot of focus on Sniper's internal conflicts, as well as one conflict that I have yet to fully reveal.