Not a Crazed Gunman...

by base4

Interlude: Not our finest moment.

Author's Note:

EXTRA LONG CHAPTER

This is a new record in terms of writing for me. Over 4.5k words! I think I managed to pull it off because of just how much stuff I could do with this chapter. There was just so much that I could write about that I... just kinda kept writing and writing until it was done.

Also, sorry for the longer than average wait. Got caught up in something.

And one more thing before I wrap this up, the times don't match up between Equestria and the TF2 world. Time moves more quickly in Equestria.

Next chapter, it's back into the main story, and good god do we have a lot to cover.

The Spy stared down at his kill. The RED Sniper lay dead on the ground, but this time, it was for good. Blood spattered on his clothing and a bullet through his skull, he would go sniping no more.

Staring at the Sniper's body, he began to wonder if it was really the right move. How would he get away with replacing the Sniper? He spent a full minute just standing there, scheming. His trance soon faded, however, as a voice boomed from somewhere outside the van.

"Aw jeez... how'd he even manage to get that from me?" said a tired voice in an unmistakable Boston accent.

He mouthed the word 'merde.'

He quickly considered his options. The Scout would probably force the door open if he didn't answer and would notice the body. If he did answer, the Scout wouldn't come into the room. He noticed that the open door would block most line of sight to the body, but would still be noticeable behind the open door. However, the Sniper had only been shot in places above his torso, meaning that the blood stains would be fully concealed behind the door. If he hid the Sniper's body, he could get away without a hitch.

"Yo, Sniper?" said the voice, knocking at the door.

He acted quickly, grabbing the Sniper. He noticed a door on the other side of the room, and dragged the body over to it. Flinging the door open, he recognized it as a sort of storage space. He placed the body gently into the room and closed the door.

"Sniper, I know you're in there." he said, knocking again.

The Spy began to panic, quickly forming his disguise as he rushed for the door, flinging it open, and then subsequently trying to mask the fact that he had just flung it open.

"Y...Yeah?" he said. Smooth.

"Uhh... R-right, I, uh, kinda overheard that you had my Soda Popper in your storage room." He pointed to the door that the Spy had just stuffed Sniper's body into. "Not sure how it got there. Can I go and get it real quick?"

He froze up. Now was the time to show off his spying expertise. "Naw mate, I'll get it," he said, mimicking the Sniper's accent.

"'Aight," Scout responded.

Good. He's playing along.

He went into the backroom, being careful to close the door on his way in as he searched for the Soda Popper. It took him a minute, but he finally located it half-buried under a small rag. He picked it up and started walking when the door began to open.

"Yo, you all good in there?" Scout said, opening the door.

Spy grunted in surprise and quickly pretended to trip over something as he landed on the body, covering it up in the process.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He held up the gun. "Here it is. Now let me sleep."

"Oh, thanks pally." He snatched the gun from Spy's hands, quickly checking it for any dents or scratches. "'Night," he said, turning to exit the room. He opened the gun up on his way out, inspecting the ammunition, and the door shut.

Spy groaned in frustration, dropping his disguise as he stood up. He looked down at his suit, then to Sniper's corpse, then again to the suit.

"You got blood on my suit."

He snorted in amusement at his own quip and began to consider his options moving forward.

Alright, disposing of the body can wait until later. For now, I need to lay low. I can probably disappear later on... sometime tomorrow sounds good.

He exited the room, careful to re-don his disguise, and considered his cleanup options.

I could use that small rag and a bit of water to rub out the blood for now. I just need to make it to tomorrow morning without incident, and as long as I wipe away the blood, I should be just fine.

He grabbed the rag that had been daintily tossed over the Soda Popper in the back room and wet it with what he assumed was water.

It's a bit dark in here. I should have checked to make sure this wasn't piss or anything.

He smelled to confirm. Yes, definitely water. Thank God.

Crouching down, he wiped away the blood from the multiple gunshots, making sure to dump the water afterward so as not to attract suspicion to the bloody water.

Spy decided that he would settle himself into bed afterward. It would be the simplest solution to his predicament, after all. Once he woke up in the morning, he could simply sulk away to his base or be killed, knowing that the BLU respawner would be turned on again in the morning.

It was then that he again heard footsteps, this time running instead of walking, followed by a quick rap on the door.

"Yo, Sniper, sorry 'bout this, but Solly's called us for a meetin' down in the break room. Gotta discuss tactics for pushin' the BLUs out of the Dustbowl. See you there."

Oh, great... No, I'll pull through. Just act like Sniper, this shouldn't take too long.

"Urgh... Great. Alright, I'll be a few, though," he replied.

"Cool. You were the first to know anyway, so yah got a little time to spare." Spy heard footsteps once again as Scout ran off to inform the others.

This had better blow over quickly. I'm liable to get caught while around the whole team like that.

---

"Alright men, now is the time to talk tactics!" said Soldier, slamming his hand on the large coffee table fit for 9. All 9 classes were present, all without anything special except for the Pyro, who was playing with a lighter. A large map of the first stage of Dustbowl lay in front of them. He pointed to it with ferocity, landing a finger directly on its center. "We've finally pushed back those pansy BLUs to the start of the Dustbowl! We cannot let this opportunity slip! We've got to drive them out at the first point! Maybe then, they'll finally be out of here, and so will we!" He lifted his hand, gazing around the room. "So, who's got an idea?"

Heavy raised his hand. "Heavy will stay with Medic in big house with first point. Enemy would be unwise to infiltrate first point with Sasha guarding."

"Ja, zis is reasonable," Medic followed up.

Engineer spoke up. "I can set up a sentry on the flank to stop the BLUs from using it..." He pointed to Scout. "...and let this one use it freely. I think that'd do us a lot of favors."

"You better bet I'm gonna do you all a favor," he narcissistically said. He paused for a moment to reconsider. "Sentry'll help too."

"I will prevent ze Medic from using his Ubercharge," the RED Spy said.

"And I suppose I'll be stuck killin' the other Sniper," Sniper (actually a Spy) added.

"And getting killed by ze other Spy," the RED Spy jabbed, smirking.

"Not my fault he's so good at his job, unlike someone here," he retorted, slipping in a hidden self-compliment.

Spy growled at this, a scowl forming on his face.

"Ooh boy, here we go again," Scout said, rolling his eyes.

Pyro chuckled at this, shaking his head.

"Right lads, knock it the bloody hell off already. We've got shite to do," Demoman interrupted.

Spy responded by lighting a cigarette and drawing in a breath. Sniper didn't really respond much at all.

Hah! I never thought I was that good at imitating Sniper!

Soldier looked at Demo and back to Spy and Sniper with a scowl. "Look you butter muffins, they're going to stomp us unless he-" He pointed to Demoman. "-and I get prepped too! You can sit around all day playing your little game of back-and-forth when we're done prepping for WAR!"

Heavy put a hand to his chin in response. "Hmm..." He grit his teeth slightly, thinking carefully.

It took him about 10 more seconds before pointing to Pyro. "Pyro. You check for Spy that may kill Sniper or Doctor. Engineer will be farther from Pyro, but can handle self against Spy anyway."

Pyro looked up from his lighter for a second before giving a thumbs up. "Uh-huh."

He looked to Scout. "Little Scout will try to kill enemy Demoman and Sniper. These are targets that are easiest for little baby man." He hardened his expression. "And do not approach enemy Soldier. Is dangerous for you."

Scout looked quite peeved at this. "Dangerous?" He stood up defensively. "Yo, buddy, you do know who you're talkin' to, right?"

Heavy launched a glare at him. "Tiny man will not try to kill Soldier."

Scout backed up at this, sitting back down. "Okay fine. Whatever." He crossed his arms, looking away with a nervous frown.

He smirked. "Heh. Good."

He looked over to Soldier and Demo. "Explosives classes, hold off men at gate. Demoman will place sticky trap, run if they Uber out of front door, Uber will almost be out before they reach house. Soldier can outline plan in more detail, but basic strategy for start of round should hold."

Spy had to hold back his smirk. When I get back to the base, I could use this information to cripple the RED team's strategy! It's perfect!

"Sound good, да (da)?" he said.

Everyone but Soldier seemed to affirm this in one way or another.

Soldier looked at him. "Hmm..." He rubbed his chin, looking skeptical. "I think... that's great!" He smirked with confidence. "That should do the trick! One more time, men!"

He pointed out the positions of each class on the battlefield, reminding everyone of their specific roles while also pointing out plans in case of a break in the strategy.

"Now Heavy, if the enemy Spy gets past our Pyro and backstabs your Medic, I need you to inform us!" He moved slightly closer to Demo, making it clear the 'us' was he and Demo. "We'll need to back out of the front and help defend the house with you immediately! Is that understood?"

"да, is known now," he responded, minorly annoyed.

He looked to Medic. "And Medic, if Heavy gets backstabbed instead, tell us! We'll substitute for pockets!"

"Ja, vhatever you need," he said, bored.

He took a deep breath. "Alright! That just about covers that!" He looked around the table. "Tomorrow, we put this plan into action! Be ready, and wake early! DISMISSED!"

Everyone got up from their seats and began to walk to the exit. Spy got up before the others, making a beeline for the door. As he reached it though, he turned around.

"Seeya, mates!" he said, waving.

Finally, I'm free! It should be easy from here on out...

But as he turned around, he took a step back. The RED Spy stood in front of the door, blocking his way.

"Uh... Spy?" he said.

"Oh, what?" A smirk crossed his face. "Did you need to get past, misure?" He slowly slipped a revolver from his pocket, letting it sit at his side. He grabbed the cigarette he was smoking and flicked it away, as the expression on his face turned dead serious. "Well I'm afraid I can't do zat."

Spy took a step back. Cold sweat dripped down his forehead as the RED Spy stared at him. He turned his head frantically before settling on the other Spy and taking another step back. All eyes were on him as the RED Spy lifted his revolver to head level and spun the chamber.

Oh god.

He pointed and fired a shot into his shoulder, sending Spy plummeting to the ground.

The other mercs stood there in shock, unsure of what to say as the RED Spy approached him. He put a foot on his chest and stared into his eyes.

"You are an amateur and a fool!" he insulted, pointing the revolver to the other Spy's face.

The disguise dropped, revealing a BLU Spy on the floor with a gunshot in his right shoulder. The RED team was completely baffled, paralyzed by the turn of events. Pyro even dropped his lighter from the shock, even if it wasn't visible on his masked face.

The RED Spy looked around the room, observing the other mercs as they stood in silence. He looked back down to his captive, smirking at his astuteness. "So, you thought you could pose as Sniper, and collect intelligence on our plans? Well, think again!" He gestured to the other mercs. "Your disguise may have fooled zese imbeciles, but an astute observer could have picked up on a few different inconsistences."

Spy lay on the ground in contemplation. I must escape... but how?

He lowered his free arm and crouched to the ground, still aiming at the BLU Spy. "First of all, Sniper does not go to zese meetings in any sort of neutral mood! While ze others may have simply found it strange, I know ze weaknesses commonly seen in disguises, and zat happens to be one of zem."

I can't escape through force. He's got a gun to my head.

He continued. "Secondly, he does not only focus ze other Sniper. His job is much more complicated zan that, which you apparently have failed to grasp..."

I can't move easily, so I'd have to get him out of the way, but the others are watching, so I can't just do it.

"Third..." Smoke ran over him as he transformed into the RED Scout. "...there is no way zat Scout could show up for his Soda Popper and come back only a few minutes later to tell you about ze meeting." He dropped the disguise. "He may be fast, but not zat fast... and in case you didn't figure it out already, I was ze Scout who wanted ze Soda Popper."

Cloaking wouldn't work, since he's got contact with me...

His serious expression turned into a smirk. "...and most of all, did you think I wouldn't pick up on zat subtle self-compliment?" He stared at me to emphasize his point. "Really now, you flatter yourself."

Okay, I think I'm just screwed. I'll just ride it out. "Yes, thank you. Now please, let's just get zis over with," I said dismissively.

His expression turned serious again. "Hmpf. As you wish." He stood up and turned to Heavy. "Heavy, could you carry him to ze warehouse?" He looked around him. "And everyone else, let us follow him, yes?"

Heavy growled at Spy, picking him up from underneath the RED Spy's feet. He set out, and the others began to follow. The RED Spy pulled out a cigarette and turned to Scout.

"Scout, could you go and fetch ze real Sniper for us?" he asked, smirking and lighting his cigarette.

Scout thought about this for a second. "Uh- Yeah, yeah. I'll go get 'em." He dashed off without a second thought.

"Good," he said, drawing in a puff of ash. He looked over to Spy. "I think Sniper's going to have a few choice words with you." He chuckled to himself.

Wait... He thought about it for a moment... and was struck with a terrible realization. They don't know...

"What will you do to me?" he asked, trying to sound fearful.

The RED Spy raised an eyebrow before smirking with cruelty. "Oh? You want to know what method of torture we're going to impart upon you?"

Spy simply stared back.

His expression turned mildly annoyed. "Hmpf. Fine." He sucked in a breath of ashy air. "My plan is to have to tied down to a chair and interrogated. I'm interested to find out who put you up to zis, if anyone, and we're going to get it out of you one way or another." He looked away, into the distance. "As for your, well, punishment, we're not really quite enthusiastic to anger ze announcer, or even ze BLUs. So, I've elected to simply have you... well, 'sit out' on zis next fight, as it were." He looked back to Spy. "So don't worry too much, you little devil. Just tell us what we want to know and you'll be in better shape in a day or two."

Spy was paralyzed with fear. If they find out... I'll go back. And if I go back... Sniper will find me. He'll kill me for what I did to him.

He let it sink in for a minute; just how boned he was. When Scout got back, he would tell the team that Sniper was dead, and they would kill him for his actions...

I need to get out of here.

He began to scheme. If he could get the Heavy to let go of him, he could escape the RED's grasp. If he then cloaked, he could escape them with his Cloak and Dagger, staying out of sight indefinitely. But the Pyro would obviously flame him if he tried to escape, and the entire team would probably be in on the search the second he got out of sight. However, if he got a head start, he could outrun the Pyro. Unfortunately, he also had no control over how far apart Heavy would stray in front of the rest of the REDs, so he couldn't get a head start. Unless...

He studied the formation of the pack of mercenaries. Heavy at the front, followed by Spy and Medic, then Demoman, then Engineer, and finally Soldier and Pyro. Since Heavy was at the front, he could exploit their unorganized formation to make a clean getaway. If he stunned Heavy, then Spy, Medic and Engineer could not easily search him out if he cloaked and ran. Since the classes that were effective at that job were at the back, he could just keep moving to stay hidden. But it still had some problems. Spy and Medic could both still shoot him while he was cloaking, and might kill him using it, so he would need to buy himself a little time beforehand.

He looked up from his scheming to observe his surroundings for a proper distraction. In the distance, he could see the warehouse where they would interrogate him. They were walking on a path parallel to its side, so there was only one more corner to turn before they would be set on a straight shot for the facility. He tried to look forward, but found it difficult since he was slung over Heavy's shoulder. Trying to look up ahead again, he managed to catch a glimpse of a turn in the distance, and an idea hatched in his head.

Suddenly, the grip on him tightened slightly. He looked up to see Heavy's head turning towards him. "Is little baby trying to escape?" He chuckled softly to himself. "Go ahead and try, coward. You would be wise not to struggle against giant man like me." He turned forward again.

"Hahaha..." the RED Spy chuckled. "He's right, you know. It would be in your best interests not to struggle." He leaned in closer for emphasis. "I assume you won't want him any angrier when ze interrogation starts, yes?" He blew a cloud of smoke into Spy's face, causing Spy to cringe. The RED Spy backed up from him and looked off into the distance again.

There won't be an interrogation when I'm done here.

Time passed by as the group continued to walk. Cicadas howled an ungodly buzz as they went, a loud and annoying noise that was harder to tune out than expected. Perfect. Something to help tune out any noise I might make once I've escaped. As they approached the corner, Spy went over his plan one last time. They inched closer and closer, the gap between them and it becoming slimmer and slimmer as time went on. Finally, Heavy reached it, turning ninety degrees as the rest of the mercs lagged slightly behind.

It's time.

A sharp sound penetrated the cicadas' noise as a knife shot out of Spy's wrist. Taken by surprise, Heavy turned his head to see what was happening.

"Huh?" he muttered.

Spy raised his arm and Heavy went wide-eyed. He jammed it into his back.

"GAAAAAAAAGGHHHH!"

Everyone reacted immediately, dashing for the corner. The RED Spy and Medic rounded the corner first as Spy freed himself from Heavy's arms. He toppled to the ground, and Spy began to cloak as he stepped away, laughing to himself. "Au revoir!"

"Augh!" Medic pulled out his syringe gun. The RED Spy whipped out his revolver as fast as he could, but it got snagged as he pulled it out. Medic began firing syringes, but they were too slow to catch up with the already moving Spy. "Spy is escaping!"

Yes! It's worked, I'm going to escape!

Suddenly, they heard an explosion.

"Not if I have anything to say about it!"

Soldier came flying around the corner just before the last of Spy cloaked away.

No no no no nO NO NO N-

He dove for Spy, crashing into him and pinning him to the ground with his own body, elbow positioned on his front to hold him in place. The cloak disengaged around Spy, revealing him to the REDs as the Soldier smirked.

"Gotcha crouton!" He turned around to look at his team. "And that is how you do it, men!"

Medic knelt next Heavy, examining the wound. He checked him for a pulse, confirming that he was still alive. He looked up to the rest of the team. "Heavy is badly injured, too much for ze Medigun to heal alone!" He looked back down to Heavy. "I need help, SCHNELL!"

While the rest of the team helped him, the RED Spy spoke up. "Excuse me for a moment." He turned over to Spy, walking towards him as Soldier restrained him firmly. Anger quickly crossed his face, his teeth clenched in anger. He grabbed his cigarette and crushed it, throwing it to the ground. "You crafty BASTARD! You've not only impersonated my colleague but injured and possibly KILLED one as well!" He balled his fists in pure rage, but quickly calmed himself, regaining his composure. "I'll deal with you myself when we get to ze warehouse. And one more thing..." He reached for Spy's sleeve, pulling out the Sharp Dresser he had used to stab Heavy. "...I'm taking zis." He slipped it into his pocket. "Now then, let us be on our way!"

---

Soldier's grip had been as tight as Heavy's, restraining Spy just as much. However, without a knife, he could not cause another distraction, and was forced to go along with their plans. They entered the warehouse with him in tow, finding a chair and firmly tying him to it.

The massive room was dark save for a light that illuminated the Spy. It was also mostly empty, save for a few crates scattered around each corner of the building. Every sound made in it echoed along the walls, and a smell of metal permeated the whole thing.

The RED Spy stepped into the light that shone down on the Spy and looked away. "Now, tell me... Who put you up to zis?" he asked.

I'll answer honestly. Subterfuge and lying can only get you so far. "It was a plan of my own creation," he answered.

He looked at the Spy. "And you intended to execute said plan on tonight of all nights?" he questioned, clearly curious.

Spy frowned at this. "I had been deep in RED territory when ze victory sounded. I tried to keep up with ze rest of ze team, but was too far behind by ze first stage. The gates closed and I was locked outside."

"Hmm..." He held his chin. "...Go on."

"I had been planning zis for about a month, but never really intended to put it into action... though when I was locked outside, I knew it was my only choice." His frown deepened.

The RED Spy raised an eyebrow. "Tell me more about zis... plan, of yours."

I can't tell him that I killed Sniper. If I tell him what he thinks, then maybe it'll work out in the end. "Ze plan was comprised of 2 parts. First, getting in..."

---

Spy sulked his way through the shadows of the RED base, searching for the REDs.

I can't believe that I have to do this.

After wandering around the facility for a while, he stumbled across the mercs... who were enjoying a good time by the fire, drinking beer and telling stories. They sat on 4 logs surrounding the fire in a square, a few people to each one. Soldier sat next to Demo, and Heavy with Medic. Pyro sat with Sniper and Scout, and Spy sat with Engineer. Pyro stared intensely into the fire with his head on his hands, enraptured by its beauty. Soldier seemed bored by what was happening, and Demo was downing a bottle of beer. Heavy and Medic were seemlingly bored as well, Sniper being moderately annoyed. Engineer was studying over a blueprint as Spy looked over to seemingly do the same, and Scout was telling a story, which was most likely the source of everyone's boredom.

"...and I totally destroyed the guy, like, really beat him up for it. That asshole never even looked at me again he was so scared! I swear, if I wasn'-"

"Scout, could you bloody stop jerkin' yourself off?" Sniper interrupted. "Public wankin' is illegal!"

This gained a few good chuckles.

"Alright, whatever. Someone else go."

There was silence for a few seconds.

"Ah'll do it..." Demo said. "It was a... no, wait... yeah, that was right. It was a long tim-*burp*-e ago... in me uh... wee years..." He began to fade, and fell asleep right there, snoring.

What a colorful scene. He found himself sitting down near the fire as well, and while he couldn't have a beer or contribute, he still found himself enjoying it nonetheless.

---

"I would infiltrate the RED facility and find the Sniper. Then, I'd be able to knock him unconscious..."

---

The festivities finally ended and the mercs had gone their separate ways. Sniper began the trek to his van, but Spy beat him there by a few minutes. He opened the door, climbing inside, and shut it again. Sniper finally reached the van and went inside. He spent a few minutes putting things away and climbed into bed.

Spy carefully walked up to the van's side door and knocked on it from the inside. Sniper awoke with a start and made his way to the door. As it slided open, Spy decloaked, masking the sound, and pulled out his revolver. He put it to Sniper's back, and fired.

---

"...and take his place for ze night. I could use zat time to gather intelligence through various means, such as attending ze meeting zat you so graciously hosted."

"Hmpf. As I thought." The RED Spy lit another cigarette and sucked in a breath of ashy air. He paused for a moment. "I think we're done here." He turned to Soldier. "Soldier, stay put. I'm going to check on Heavy."

"Affirmative!" he said.

"Fantastic."

Suddenly, the doors burst open and moonlight poured into the room. Medic stood in the doorway, panicked, Scout behind him.

"SNIPER IS DEAD!"

"What?!" the RED Spy yelled in shock.

"Holy crap, I found Sniper's body in the back of his van! That Spy killed 'em! He freakin killed him!" Scout was moving frantically and shaking erratically, yelling his words with extreme anxiety.

The RED Spy turned to Spy, mouth open in shock. "Dear god..." Sadness washed over him, his expression both surprised and depressed, and in an instant, it turned to rage. He whipped out his revolver and balled up his fists. He stepped towards Spy with utmost fury and spat his cigarette out of his mouth. He came closer and closer to Spy, his figure within feet of him. He began to kneel down, slowly approaching Spy's face until it was inches away from his. His expression hardened suddenly, and he reared his pistol. He swung it across his arm span, hitting Spy in the cheek. He let out a cry of pain as it happened, and the RED Spy came in for another swing. And another. And another.

Tears streamed down the RED Spy's face as he smacked the Spy with his pistol and punched him repeatedly. It went on for a full minute before the Spy gained control of himself. He stopped, standing up, and looked the bruised, beaten Spy in the eyes. He gazed with an intensity that threatened to tear apart Spy's very being, and spoke.

"You disgust me. Truly. I hate you." The words were laced with potent venom. "You killed Sniper. Usually, it means nothing. Death is nothing to any us. But it's permanent zis time, and now it matters more zan ever. He was a colleague, and sometimes a friend too. But now he's dead. God, he's dead..." He sobbed a little, and raised his arm, revolver pointing to Spy's head.

"And to think zat at some point, he tried to call you a friend."

He fired the revolver.

Comments

[RedX-100]

So, the respawn generators for both teams are offline?

[base4]

8302069
Yes, that is correct. The canon I'm going for here is that the respawners are shut off manually once the fighting stops and cannot be turned on until morning. Logically speaking, it's a way to conserve power by turning it off when it's not needed and keeping it off once it's been deemed unnecessary.

The mercs manage when the respawners are turned off, but once they're off, they stay off until the next morning.

[medictf2]

have date of the next chapter?

[base4]

8313035
Generally, I don't have release dates for chapters. They get written and are uploaded upon completion, but after I once let more than a week go by between chapters, I've vowed to upload one chapter at minimum every week. Chapter progression will probably slow at the start of August, however, due to complications from summer work for school, so I suppose I should try to get chapters out while I've still got a good opportunity to do so.

Next chapter? Today or Tomorrow. Depends on how long I make it.

[medictf2]

8313336
img11.deviantart.net/3174/i/2012/273/7/f/sniper_theory_by_tim015-d5gcn2g.png

thank you