• Published 9th Jun 2017
  • 481 Views, 6 Comments

Escape From Canterlot - No one is home



A young changeling and a disgraced circus freak search for answers in the aftermath of social upheaval.

  • ...
 6
 481

Twists and Turns - Deadlift, Z-978, Moonbeam

Dear Usagi,

I’m sorry babe, you know if I could by be right there with you in Las Pegasus. You know I would. Damned goat and his goddamned cards. When I get there, I swear I’m gonna knock his horns backwards! You know he knew about this before we even left the Belfry, right? I mean, he had to have. He’s the goddamned blind goat for Christ’s sake. Of all the frustrating horse shit we’ve had to deal with since we got stranded in Equestria, the damned goat has got to be the most annoying.

I’m sorry for the hold up in Ponyville, but it turns out it might have saved us more time than we lost. It turns out Princess Twilight has connections in Baltimare University (because of course she does, she’s the Crowned Princess of Books, right?). Anyway, long story short, she sent a message to the faculty, and they contacted the authorities and checked their records and it turns out all the victims of Noone’s attack, living and dead seem to be accounted for. And Carrot Plate’s not one of them.

That’s good news and bad news, though, because it means on the one hoof (dammit, now I’M saying that stupid horse-talk) she’s not in a morgue somewhere in Baltimare. I don’t think Z could take losing another sister. On the other, we’re pretty much back to square one. But the princess says she’s reached out to one of the witnesses, some pony named, get this, “Sour Sweet” (these damned pony names) and we’re hoping she can give us some kind of lead on where to go from here.

Dammit all, there’s some kind of commotion. I hear Z shouting something about a “stupid bat-pony” and “pancakes”. That girl’s spent too much time dragging Train Wreck home from the Belfry. I gotta have a talk with her about appropriate language. Well, I better go put out this fire before she causes a “friendship problem” and brings even MORE royal attention down on our heads…

Love,

James “Deadlift” Jackson

-=-=-=-=-

Dear Miss The Samantha,

The Twilight who is the Princess gave Z-978 a special quill-present that will write her words so that she does not have to make the Deadlift grumpy by demanding that he must write her words for her and now Z-978 can send you this letter! Z-978 is sorry to inform Miss The Samantha that the Moonbeam has been a very naughty pony. Yes, the Moonbeam has! The Moonbeam will stop telling lies that he has not been a naughty pony because the gift the Twilight gave Z-978 will not write the Moonbeam’s stinky lying words anyway because it was a gift for Z-978 and it will only write HER words!

The Moonbeam has followed Z and the Deadlift to Ponyville like a creepy little stalker pony that is stalking Z-978’ sister Diane! He is a bad creepy little colt who should not be following Z-978! Z has been sad enough without the stupid little bat pony trying to pester her about Diane because he want’s to make pancakes! The Moonbeam will not lie! Z knows what the Moonbeam did with her sister when he thought she was too stupid to be paying her attention! Z-978 is not a smarty pants changeling, but she is NOT a stupid bug!

And even if Z-978 knew where her sister Diane was, and even if she told the Moonbeam, it would not matter! The Moonbeam cannot visit Diane because Diane is in trouble because she did very bad things and she hurt ponies and Diane killed ponies and now the Moonbeam has made Z-978 cry because he is a stupid ugly pony who smells funny and should stay home with his mother, because the Moonbeam has a mother who is not an evil changeling and who loves him and is not dead! The Moonbeam will get out now! He will get out of Z-978’s room right now and he will stay out! And he will tell the Twilight that he was a bad pony who made Z-978 cry and she will punish him with a friendship lesson! The Moonbeam WILL tell the Twilight, or Z-978 will tell the Twilight!

GET OUT!

Z-978 is sorry that she must tell the Samantha such horrible things about her son the Moonbeam, but she must because the Samantha is her friend and Z-978 does not lie to her friends. Z-978 will watch the Moonbeam until the Samantha can come to take him home and she will make sure that the Moonbeam does his homework and eats his vegetables.

Z-978 is Miss The Samantha’s Friend Always,

Z-978 Pastel

-=-=-=-=-

Dear Mom,

I found Z. She’s running around with that big pale-looking earth pony who Trainwreck used to hang out with. They're out looking for Carrot Plate, you remember her right?

Mom, Z told me some things about Diane, and I asked Mr. Deadlift, and he doesn’t wanna talk about it, but I gotta ask… did Diane kill ponies? I mean I figured out a while back that she had killed the Nopony, but I don’t think anypony would hold THAT against her. But Mr. Deadlift says that they exiled Diane to Tartarus. He says that Princess Luna exiled Diane to Tartarus. Princess Twilight won’t talk to me about it. She say’s I should ask Grandad, or Princess Luna herself. Does Grandad even know? I mean, he’s such a well… him… I can’t see him knowing some filly was sent to Tartarus and not throwing a total fit.

Did you know mom? About any of this? You know how I feel about Diane, and you two have been friends even longer than we have. You’d tell me if you knew, right? Right mom? I’m really confused right now, and I don’t know what to believe, much less what to think about it.

Mr. Deadlift says I can travel with them, because he seems to think Z likes having me around. Show’s what he knows, right? That crazy changeling has NEVER liked me, even I know that. He said I have to get your permission though, and you have to promise not to tell Grandad or the Princess’s. He was really hard on that point, so I need you to promise me, mom. Deadlift’s not a pony I want mad at me.

Love,

Moonbeam Watch

Author's Note:

Moonbem has officially joined the party. :pinkiecrazy: