> Escape From Canterlot > by No one is home > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Everypony Who’s Anypony > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Everypony Who’s Anypony     Deadlift (a.k.a. Jimmy Jack)   Before the coming of the Pink Step Plague, James Jackson was an orderly at a mental hospital in east Atlanta.  As the earth pony Deadlift, he was and his friends were chosen to attempt to breach the barrier between worlds and re-establish contact between Earth and Equestria.  Finding themselves in the wrong parallel reality the team joined forces with another former human from their world, Iam Noone as freakshow performers in his traveling changeling carnival.   When Noone’s plans to extract vengeance on Equestria became known, the freaks changed sides, helping the Nopony’s changeling daughter, Diane Pastel to defeat him.  But Diane extracted her own revenge, not just against Iam Noone, but every pony and every changeling who worked with him.  She carved a bloody path across Canterlot before she was eventually stopped and brought to justice.   Fearing the potential wrath of both the Royal family and the noble houses of Canterlot, the freaks have chosen to flee the city.  While the bulk of their number follow the blind goat Tarot Solitaire to Las Pegasus, Deadlift has undertaken a more personal mission.  He has chosen to escort Diane Pastel’s older sister on a quest to Baltimare to uncover the fate of their last herd-mate, Carrot Plate.     Z-978 (a.k.a. Switch Shift)   Iam Noone sired thirteen larvae with Chrysalis’ brood Queen Madame Butterfly.  When Noone fled the hive with his mate, their offspring were smuggled out separately, using the changeling invasion during the wedding of Princess Cadance as cover.  Unfortunately the young nymphs were separated from the group and became caught up in the invasion itself.  During the battle, Switch Shift was accidently killed by Pinkie Pie, while wielding Twilight Sparkle as a magic canon.   Years later, wracked with guilt over the unintended consequences of her actions in life, Surprise Mint Pastel, a Pinkie Pie refugee from a collapsed timeline used the instability from Starlight Glimmer’s time spell to attempt to undo her mistakes.  She found the young changeling filly she had inadvertently murdered in the timeline ruled by Queen Chrysalis and brought her back into Equestria to be reunited with her sister, Diane.   Taking the name Z-978, the young changeling became one of the first members of the herd of Train Wreck, Discord’s “alicorn” prince.  Her relationship with the outcast prince was more that of a little sister than  wife, although she did bare him a single offspring, the mutant grub known as Zillia Facehugger Pastel.  After the prince disappeared in thin air during a heated trial of both himself and the villainous Iam Noone, Z took refuge in the Canterlot Refugee hive, under the care of it’s matriarch Princess Fast Change.   After Celestia disbanded the hive, Z refused to rejoin the other changelings, now ruled by King Thorax, but instead chose to flee Lower Canterlot in self imposed exile, traveling with Deadlift to Baltimare where she hopes to learn the fate of her last remaining herd sister, Carrot Plate, who has been missing ever since the Nopony’s attack and Queen Chrysalis’ subsequent invasion. Fast Change   A unicorn student, gifted in shape shifting, Fast Change’s life took a strange turn after a rescue mission into the Hive of Queen Chrysalis.  Cornered and out of options, she played a huge gamble of impersonating a changeling queen.  The ruse was, perhaps, too much of a success, as she inadvertently led nearly half of the changelings into freedom, establishing the Canterlot Free Hive in Lower Canterlot.  She later learned that her transformation was more than skin deep, as she could no longer change back into a unicorn.  She was fully and completely a changeling queen (officially granted the title of “Princess” by Princess Celestia).     With the disbanding of the hive Fast Change has moved into the the Castle and Canterlot proper as the official liaison between the crown and the newly reformed Changeling Kingdom, now ruled by King Thorax.  Though no longer their ruler she still cares very deeply for her former subjects and bitterly resents the notion that she abandoned them. > Ponyville - Deadlift > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Usagi, You probably won’t get this until you guys are all the way in Las Pegasus.  At this rate you’ll have a whole new show running by the time me and Z get out of Ponyville.  Honestly, we should have stuck to the plan and just swapped trains at the station.  But it seemed disrespectful not to let Z visit Surprise’s grave.  I should have known what was going to happen.  The damn pink ghost… I know, she’s not the REAL pink ghost, but I’ll be damned if she ain’t just as damned scary.  And there weren’t no way I was ever getting out of Ponyville quietly with her adopted sister and her niece.  I tried to explain that we had to avoid royal attention, but YOU try explaining anything to the literal magical embodiment of laughter.  Z didn’t help none, “The Princess Twilight is not a stinky face royalty, the Princess Twilight is a friend of the Train Wreck and the Surprise!”   Well that, I can tell you now, was that.  There isn’t anything I can say or do that carries more weight than, “Big Sister Pinkie Pie says it’s alright,” or even worse, “Z’s sister Surprise said that Z could trust the Princess Twilight," or even  "The Surprise said when she was gone Z-978 should listen to the Twilight and Big Sister Pinkie Pie.”  Hell, if I tried to argue there’s a pretty good chance Z might decide she couldn’t trust me.  I was only only buddies with “the Train Wreck”, those other two ponies had Surprise herself vouching for ‘em from beyond the grave.   Jesus on a pogo stick, my biggest fear right now is that the Princess of Friendship will send a letter to Canterlot just to prove that we don’t have anything to worry about.  Hell maybe we are worried about nothing.  But after what happened to Diane...     What she did was fifty shades of wrong, don’t get me wrong, but they literally exiled her to pony-hell.  She was just a kid.  These royal horses, girl…  Maybe her highness is right and Celestia is just the nicest god-horse ever.  But she sent Diane to hell.  And Surprise’s good friend on the hill who never even came to her funeral never batted an eye.  Z don’t like Prince Silver not one little bit.  I don’t blame her.  We’re headed out tomorrow, one way or the other. Love, James “Deadlift” Jackson P.S. Train Wreck needs to be kicked in the balls for leaving Z with a kid like he did.  I’m just sayin’.  I know Z likes to make herself look like she’s an adult changeling, but even if she was… dammit man!  She’s clearly not right in the head.  I wonder if Celestia even thought about what was going to happen to Z and Facehugger when she shut down the Canterlot hive?  Obviously Fast Change couldn’t care less, so long as they let her back in with the “good” royals.  It’s a damn shame, everyone in Decanter always thought so well of her. > Old Friends - Z-978, Fast Change > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fast Change,   What follows is a letter from from Z-978 Pastel.  For some reason, she still thinks you care about her, and I honestly don’t have the heart to tell her any different.  I’ve transcribed her words as close to exactly as I can.  I don’t know if you’re even gonna read any of it, and honestly, I don’t care.  Train Wreck always said you were his friend, though, and Z thinks the world of you, so do us the favor of not telling any of your royal fuck buddies where to find us.   Sincerely,   James “Deadlift” Jackson     Dear The Fast Change,     Z-978 rode on a train!  She rode on a for real train, and nothing bad happened and the ponies were nice to her, and the Deadlift is looking at Z like she is talking too much.  But the Deadlift must keep writing!  Keep writing all of Z’s words because she will ask and she will know if the Deadlift is just making it up!   And Z also got to see Big Sister Pinkie Pie and the Princess Twilight Sparkle.  Z has missed her Big Sister Pinkie Pie since her family went back to the hive and she is happy the Deadlift said it was alright if Z-978 could stay in the Ponyville for two days.  Maybe three days?  Yes!  Maybe three days!  The Deadlift will not shake his head and roll his stupid eyes!  He will write the words that Z-978 is saying to the Fast Change!  He will write ALL the words, just like Z has said them, or Z-978 will tell her Big Sister Surprise that the Deadlift was a big meany!   Anyway, as Z-978 was telling the Fast Change we are staying in the Ponyville for maybe three days so little Facehugger can ride on her Aunt Pinkie Pie’s head and so Z can talk to the Surprise.  It makes Z sad that she can only talk to the surprise at her special rock, and her sister cannot talk back to her.  But it is nice to be in the Ponyville again.  The Trainwreck always said he would take Z and her Sister Diane back to the Ponyville one day.  If Z-978’s Train Wreck were here he would only make Z-978 angry and ruin the mood and Diane would laugh and Z-978 is going to cry now.  STOP WRITING STUPID DEADLIFT!   Z-978 is better now.  She is sorry she yelled at the Deadlift and she is sorry she broke the Trixie’s tea cup.  Z-978 was sad.  It is not fair that Z-978’s family did not come back to the Ponyville with her.  It is not fair but it is not the Deadlift’s fault and Z should not hit the Deadlift, and no it is not alright, and the Deadlift must stop telling Z-978 that it is alright and he must keep writing her words that she is saying.     The Princess Twilight said that she is friends with the Fast Change, and that Z-978 should tell the Fast Change that she is supposed to come to Ponyville to visit the Twilight.  And the Princess Twilight says that the Fast Change should bring the Silver, and that Z should stop making the face that she is making because the Silver is a very nice pony.   It is time to say goodbye now.  Z-978 must go to sleep now, she has promised the Sweetie Belle that she will bring Facehugger to visit her tomorrow and then we will stay in the Ponyville one more day after tomorrow.  Yes we will!  The Deadlift will stop telling lies and keep writing!  We will stay one more day and it is a lie to say that we will not!   Love and Snuggly Huggles,   Z Nine Seven Eight Pastel     It's been a while, hasn't it?   It's Fast, if you didn't guess. Things are going interestingly around here. My 'royal buddies' run the gamut from happy to see me to eyeing the angles they can take advantage of the situation. It's never boring. If I thought I could escape from royal life, I was fooling myself. Once you're in, you're stuck. Enjoy being your own thing while you can, it's a great feeling.   Having fun in Ponyville? It sounds like you're having a blast, and that's great! You might have been amused to see the look on Silver's face when I brought up visiting with him. I don't know what scares him about Ponyville, but he looked like he saw a ghost or something, too funny.   Tell your friend to stop saying how I feel, sheesh. Just because I wimped out as changeling princess doesn't mean I stopped liking a single one of you at all, and that goes double for you, you crazy wonderful bug you! You make any new friends? How's life? Keep writing, even if you have to pester a pony until they get writing. Use it as a reason to learn how to do it yourself too. It's a great skill.   Love you, Fast Change > Unexpected Tidings - The Blind Goat, Usagi, Moonbeam > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Salutations, Deadlift, you haven’t left Ponyville yet.  I trust you realize that’s not a question.  Nor is it an indictment.  You will remain in Ponyville exactly as long as you should, and you shall not leave a moment sooner or later than this.  I trust your judgement in this matter exclusively. My cards have revealed an impending reunion of old friends.  The Wayward Squire and the Maiden of Puzzles.  I have not seen these particular cards in play since the unfortunate business in Canterlot, they were a rare element of light in that affair.  Your young changeling ward, in particular will be happy by this turn of events, I am utterly confident. Additionally, while you are in Ponyville, you should read a new book. Sincerely, Tarotius William Solitaire -=-=-=-=- Dearest James, I haven’t heard from you in days.  Goddammit, I hate Equestrian communication.  Rrgh, I’d trade my scales for a damned email.  We made it to Las Pegasus.  It looks like the biggest Chucky Cheese you’ve ever seen.  It’s gonna annoy the hell out of you when you get here. I miss you, James.  I understand why you’re doing this… I really do.  We owe the Pastels literally everything, and you know I love little Z more than anyone, and there is a real debt there… and I know how you feel about paying debts.  But I still miss you. Just… help that girl find her sister and come back to us… come back to me. Love, Allyssa “Usagi” Manuel -=-=-=-=- Mom, Yeah… I’m not running away.  So don’t send the guards or nuthin’.  I cleaned up as many of your trackers as I could find, so don’t panic when it takes you a few minutes to figure out where I am.  I’m… going through some things.  That’s all. I love you, and I’m not running away, but I need to find my own answers.  The things that happened in the invasion, well, they happened, alright?  And it was rough on me.  It was rough all around.  I grew up in Decanter, and all of Rock and Miss Shade Fire’s political hooey aside, those were my ponies it happened to.  And I trust Princess Luna.  Nightmare in the moon, but I can’t explain to you what it’s like for a bat like me to have Princess Luna tell me that she wants to be my granddame… I trust her and I know that whatever happened with Diane that nopony wants to tell me… I need answers.  And I’m not gonna get them sitting up here on the hill.  I know I couldn’t have got all your tracking wards, mom.  So I’m going to tell you now, I’m going to Ponyville.  I asked around the guards who hang out at the Belfry, and they say that freaky-big earth pony was headed there with Diane’s sister on their way to Baltimare.  If anypony knows what really happened in the invasion who’ll tell me straight, it’s Z. I know better than to tell you not to worry, and I know better than to think your not gonna follow me.  I disabled the trackers to buy me some space.  That’s all I’m asking, mom.  Just give me some space and let me find my answers.  I love you, and I promise I’ll be as careful as I can. Love, Moonbeam Watch > Twists and Turns - Deadlift, Z-978, Moonbeam > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Usagi, I’m sorry babe, you know if I could by be right there with you in Las Pegasus.  You know I would.  Damned goat and his goddamned cards.  When I get there, I swear I’m gonna knock his horns backwards!  You know he knew about this before we even left the Belfry, right?  I mean, he had to have.  He’s the goddamned blind goat for Christ’s sake.  Of all the frustrating horse shit we’ve had to deal with since we got stranded in Equestria, the damned goat has got to be the most annoying. I’m sorry for the hold up in Ponyville, but it turns out it might have saved us more time than we lost.  It turns out Princess Twilight has connections in Baltimare University (because of course she does, she’s the Crowned Princess of Books, right?).  Anyway, long story short, she sent a message to the faculty, and they contacted the authorities and checked their records and it turns out all the victims of Noone’s attack, living and dead seem to be accounted for.  And Carrot Plate’s not one of them. That’s good news and bad news, though, because it means on the one hoof (dammit, now I’M saying that stupid horse-talk) she’s not in a morgue somewhere in Baltimare.  I don’t think Z could take losing another sister.  On the other, we’re pretty much back to square one.  But the princess says she’s reached out to one of the witnesses, some pony named, get this, “Sour Sweet” (these damned pony names) and we’re hoping she can give us some kind of lead on where to go from here. Dammit all, there’s some kind of commotion.  I hear Z shouting something about a “stupid bat-pony” and “pancakes”.  That girl’s spent too much time dragging Train Wreck home from the Belfry.  I gotta have a talk with her about appropriate language.  Well, I better go put out this fire before she causes a “friendship problem” and brings even MORE royal attention down on our heads… Love, James “Deadlift” Jackson -=-=-=-=- Dear Miss The Samantha, The Twilight who is the Princess gave Z-978 a special quill-present that will write her words so that she does not have to make the Deadlift grumpy by demanding that he must write her words for her and now Z-978 can send you this letter!  Z-978 is sorry to inform Miss The Samantha that the Moonbeam has been a very naughty pony.  Yes, the Moonbeam has!  The Moonbeam will stop telling lies that he has not been a naughty pony because the gift the Twilight gave Z-978 will not write the Moonbeam’s stinky lying words anyway because it was a gift for Z-978 and it will only write HER words! The Moonbeam has followed Z and the Deadlift to Ponyville like a creepy little stalker pony that is stalking Z-978’ sister Diane!  He is a bad creepy little colt who should not be following Z-978!  Z has been sad enough without the stupid little bat pony trying to pester her about Diane because he want’s to make pancakes!  The Moonbeam will not lie!  Z knows what the Moonbeam did with her sister when he thought she was too stupid to be paying her attention!  Z-978 is not a smarty pants changeling, but she is NOT a stupid bug! And even if Z-978 knew where her sister Diane was, and even if she told the Moonbeam, it would not matter!  The Moonbeam cannot visit Diane because Diane is in trouble because she did very bad things and she hurt ponies and Diane killed ponies and now the Moonbeam has made Z-978 cry because he is a stupid ugly pony who smells funny and should stay home with his mother, because the Moonbeam has a mother who is not an evil changeling and who loves him and is not dead!  The Moonbeam will get out now!  He will get out of Z-978’s room right now and he will stay out!  And he will tell the Twilight that he was a bad pony who made Z-978 cry and she will punish him with a friendship lesson!  The Moonbeam WILL tell the Twilight, or Z-978 will tell the Twilight! GET OUT! Z-978 is sorry that she must tell the Samantha such horrible things about her son the Moonbeam, but she must because the Samantha is her friend and Z-978 does not lie to her friends.  Z-978 will watch the Moonbeam until the Samantha can come to take him home and she will make sure that the Moonbeam does his homework and eats his vegetables. Z-978 is Miss The Samantha’s Friend Always, Z-978 Pastel -=-=-=-=- Dear Mom, I found Z.  She’s running around with that big pale-looking earth pony who Trainwreck used to hang out with.  They're out looking for Carrot Plate, you remember her right? Mom, Z told me some things about Diane, and I asked Mr. Deadlift, and he doesn’t wanna talk about it, but I gotta ask… did Diane kill ponies?  I mean I figured out a while back that she had killed the Nopony, but I don’t think anypony would hold THAT against her.  But Mr. Deadlift says that they exiled Diane to Tartarus.  He says that Princess Luna exiled Diane to Tartarus.  Princess Twilight won’t talk to me about it.  She say’s I should ask Grandad, or Princess Luna herself.  Does Grandad even know?  I mean, he’s such a well… him… I can’t see him knowing some filly was sent to Tartarus and not throwing a total fit. Did you know mom?  About any of this?  You know how I feel about Diane, and you two have been friends even longer than we have.  You’d tell me if you knew, right?  Right mom?  I’m really confused right now, and I don’t know what to believe, much less what to think about it. Mr. Deadlift says I can travel with them, because he seems to think Z likes having me around.  Show’s what he knows, right?  That crazy changeling has NEVER liked me, even I know that.  He said I have to get your permission though, and you have to promise not to tell Grandad or the Princess’s.  He was really hard on that point, so I need you to promise me, mom.  Deadlift’s not a pony I want mad at me. Love, Moonbeam Watch > Letters in the Dark - Shadefire, Night Shift, ? ? ? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Greetings Comrade Night Shift, Our plans are proceeding according to schedule.  The unfortunate loss of Diane Pastel has presented a complication, but not an insurmountable one.  My young student is nearly as valuable to our cause as a martyr as she was as a leader.  Perhaps more so, given her predilection towards violence.  Still, it’s hard to argue that your sister was not an expert in inspiring fear. Unfortunately her loss leaves us one queen short of a true hive.  Now, calm down and count to ten before you read this next part… Did you count to ten? I know how you feel about the matter, but the fact is we need your sister back.  Diane represented a true alternative to the Sun Queen Approved “Changeling Evolution”.  You all do.  Changelings who feed on fear… it is a true blessing of the shadows within’ we dwell.  Without a proper queen we simply cannot reliably keep your sisters in line or even loyal to your father’s cause.  The Day Breaker has her own pet changeling queen, even if she’s a pony-sympathizing would-be unicorn.  Have you ever wondered which role she was faking first?  That miserably inept drone Thorax has somehow managed to fool even other changelings into thinking he’s some sort of “Changeling King”.  Even Nightmare Moon has that sterile thing, Moth. The point is that we need Diane back.  I know, I know, she broke three of your legs.  And you were almost arrested.  But I took care of that and I took care of you.  And just think at the risk I’m taking here.  If… no, not if, when… when Diane learns the truth about her supportive school teacher, Ms. Shadefire, who she trusted and looked up to… well, I’d just as soon be long dead and buried in secret so my grave can’t be violated when that happens.  Which leaves us with quite the conundrum.  We need Diane Pastel, as symbol, and as a hive mother.  But, let’s be honest, she’s going to murder us both.  I think we both know that. There’s a vacant changeling-shaped hole in our operating structure, and what we need is a replacement for Diane.  Someone we can mold to our purposes more easily.  Fortunately I know of a mare in Manehatten who specializes in filling pony shaped holes.  The shadows will no longer hide behind the night. In Darkness Remain, Shadefire -=-=-=-=- Councilor Shadefire, The Council has considered very carefully your proposal.  We concur that this new evolution of “Nightmare Changelings”, if that is indeed what they are, should be welcomed as kindred spirits in the shadows that bind us.  However we cannot condone their criminal activities in any fashion.  The umbrum have gained at least a measure of tolerance within pony society. The Council of Shadows agrees that Celestia’s actions in disbanding the Canterlot hive sent a clear message to the non-ponies of this city, and we cannot deny that her message was clear.  The pony changeling queen was not deemed suitable to enter the royal herd until she converted.  While our you, the chosen representative of our kind, were denied out of hoof.  The pony’s have made it clear that those who do not embrace their path of rainbows and friendship will remain in the shadows. However, the shadows are where we dwell.  When they cast us into the dark, my daughter, they only send us home.  I know you have taken this rejection personally, but remember it was never about you personally.  To the Silver Prince it was a political proposal, he did not reject you, he rejected all of us.  And he sent us home, unfit for the light.  It has been a bitter pill to swallow, but will cannot risk our fragile peace for a point of wounded pride. Therefor on the matter of Dragonfly Diane Noone and her so-called “shadow hive”, we shall not aid them in their ambitions, nor will aid you in your’s wherein the Shadow Hive is concerned.  However, we also shall not in any way hinder any of their activities nor yours.  We shall wait, and we shall see.  So Rules the Council of Shadows. Walk in Darkness Dear Daughter, Moon Pyre, Umbrum High Councilor -=-=-=-=- Shadefire, I can send Sweet Shift and Split Shift to contact this mare in Manehattan.  The Doppler Twins would probably be a better fit, but I want to move them from spying on Chrysalis’ remaining loyalists to subverting the runt king’s hive.  Honestly, all the bitch queen has left at this point are he mostly loyal followers and those few drones who are too stupid to shake her influence enough to defect to another hive by now.  She can be the pony’s problem.  Let them worry about the “scary” rogue changelings.  The more they worry about them, the less they worry about us. We have bigger problems right now.  My darling, naive little sister has run off to join the circus, or the freak show, specifically.  Honestly, it was either gonna be that or that wuss’s hive.  Ugh, why couldn’t Pharanx have been the one to revolt against Chrysalis?  The point is, Switch wasn’t ever going to be on our side.  But as distasteful as I find it, Thorax’s hive would be way less hard to infiltrate when the time comes to take back the offspring of the Unspoken Prince.  Zilia Pastel is clearly on of ours.  I will send you word when the twins have achieved results in Manehattan. Sincerly, Nightshift #2 Noone -=-=-=-=- Report #123 Z-978 and Zilia Pastel remain separated from the goat.  They have been delayed indefinitely in Ponyville awaiting correspondence, but at present have no leads as to the status and where abouts of the hostage. More importantly they have been joined by a member of the royal family.  Specifically, Moonbeam, the adopted son of Princess Luna’s own adopted daughter.  It would be foolish to assume they are not under royal surveillance.  The steps they’ve taken to prevent this are laughable.  They asked the colt’s mother to please not tell the princesses.  Damned pony world is getting to poor Jimmy Jack, I think. End Report > Unsettling Events - Deadlift, Newsclip, ??? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Usagi, We've been caught.  Hell I don't think we ever weren't caught.  Pip, or Moth, or whatever she's calling herself these days was apparently tailing us the whole time.  She'd been giving us some space, for old times I guess.  Asking Samantha not to tell her royal foster parents where to find us was just plain laughable.  God, it’s finally happened.  The Pink Step’s done infected my brain, and I’ve gone full pony. For what it’s worth, Samantha’s been monitoring us this whole time.  She hadn’t reported us because she hadn’t decided how to interpret her data on the growth cycles of the shadow changeling.  So, yeah, I think we can trust her from here not to narc us out.  Apparently the moon brat is pretty good at disabling his mom’s monitoring spells, and she only found him when he crossed paths with the monitors she had on Z.  You guys are safe, apparently none of the monitors she put on the Belfry took for… reasons?  I guess?  I’m pretty sure she can see when I take a piss now.  No, her voice in my head just reminded me that she would never be so unprofessional as to violate my privacy if it did not advance the cause of scientific discovery.  Samantha Watch is scary as fuck. But she ain’t the one who ratted us out to the Princess, no that was our old buddy “Orange Pip”.  Turn’s out Moth has been watching us since before we even got on the train.  And by “us” I mean “me and Z and Facehugger” and by that I mean “Z and Facehugger”, obviously.  If the crown wants to find you guys or the Goat, you’ve got shows booked three times a day.  She’s even got one of the Shifts with her.  The one that liked to play “Pinkie Pie with Knives” that wasn’t Diane.  According to Moth, Luna doesn’t even care about us.  This is all about the changelings.  More specifically, the changelings associated with Iam. We had  full hive with the original circus.  A small hive, but a full hive all the same.  And that’s not counting the Shift Sisters and their “Shadow Hive”, or whatever infrastructure Iam had in place in Canterlot.  Diane cut a bloody path across the city, but it’s impossible to believe that she took out ALL of his command structure.  And even if she did, she made as far as she did by recruiting ll the displace drones she was creating as she killed off Iam’s chain of command.  She planned on those drones becoming hers.  Honestly, for a twelve year old changeling trying to conquer the slums of the pony capital by military force she did pretty good.  I know, that little filly is a war criminal, and I sometimes have nightmares about her escaping from Tartarus, but it’s impressive.  She was evil well above her grade level. Which makes me wonder, what is it the damned goat had us running from?  And if he knew the crown was already watching us, why the whole misdirection?  Who or what are we hiding from anyway?  How much does that blind bastard know?  And why am I more scared of what he doesn't know? The point is, you guys aren't even the ones they're watching.  I guess maybe that was the point to sending me off with Z.  Damn the Blind Goat.  It's all one big game to him.  He reminds me of Iam, sometimes… in all the worst ways. I miss you girl, James “Deadlift” Jackson -=-=-=-=- “Airship Crash Lands In Canterlot Air Yard, All Aboard Dead or Missing” The Canterlot Crier The airship EAS Demeter Crash landed this morning at the Air Yard in Lower Canterlot.  The Decanter Lunar Guard were dispatched immediately to the scene, but to their Dismay the entire crew of the trading vessel was found to have been dead before the crash.  Some had, in fact been dead for days, their bodies stored in the ship's hold to be returned for proper burial.  However others had died more recently in what the guard is describing as an apparent mutiny. Any conclusions drawn at this point are purely, at best, educated speculation.  But it that evidence seems to point in the direction of a series of violent confrontations between the ponies and griffons of the crew.  The Captain, one Godfried Griffon, seems to have been the last to die by his own talon.  He was found tied to the ship's wheel, where he apparently slit his own throat during the airships final approach.  The guards say that his body was still warm when he was found. Obviously the ship’s logs will be exhaustively examined by the guard before anything is released to the press.  The Airship was returning from a trading expedition to Griffonstone, stopping over in Fillydelphia.  It is believed that it was between Fillydelphia and Canterlot that whatever events transpired that turned this routine trip into a tragedy.  Of course we will bring you any news as it develops. -=-=-=-=- Report #176 Wow, when you said I’d know it when I saw the news, you weren’t kidding.  You always did have a flair for the dramatic.  At any rate, Royl surveillance of the Pastel larvae is ongoing and pervasive.  At the moment the grub and her mother are in Ponyville under the care of Pinkamena Diane Pie.  This could prove troublesome, as much difficulty as Jimmy Jack would have posed to your plans, the Pink Horror presents a wholly insurmountable obstacle.  I would suggest using the hostage to leverage our position, but I understand that you wish to remain outside of public view at the moment.  Still the chances of taking back the offspring of the Unspoken Prince seems remote at the moment.  If there is any good news, I believe I can separate the pair from Jimmy Jack at this point.  He doesn’t like Ponyville any more than he likes ponies.  It shouldn’t take more than the softest whisper from the right lips to convince him to return to Las Pegasus.  That still leaves Pinkamena to deal with, and she is extremely protective of her adopted changeling “sister”.  But even a lesser obstacle removed is one less problem. End Report > First Intermission: The Return > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- An earth pony with a coat the color of dirty cream, with a mane and tail the color of mud, and eyes the color of dead salmon strode across the streets of Canterlot.  But his eyes unfocused ever so slightly,  seeing instead his home city of Atlanta… not the human city he grew up in, but it’s burned and bloated corpse, ripe with the infection of the Pink Sin. “This toxic homeland, of my tainted birth,” The pony’s surprisingly deep voice rang out, and a sickly smile spread across his face, “Where the poison bubbles softly from the great white tainted earth.” He cantered past trash fires, and garbage, and all the filth of a pony slum.  In the near distance, the friendship express blew a lonely blast, like a last warning to those ponies still on the wrong side of it’s tracks. “And the ghost train blows its whistle as it’s rolling through my head,” the pony chuckled softly, pulling a yellow unicorn mare closer to sing in hushed tones, “And it whispers in our ears that we might all be better dead.” The pony practically strutted up to a seemingly idle warehouse, casually kicking open the door to expose what appeared to be a marriage made in hell between a pseudo scientific alchemy laboratory and a bottling factory. “Let’s fire up Fire up our drug lab,” the pony strode into the veritable swarm of hole pocked worker changelings, grabbing a vacant eyed vagrant pony by the muzzle and locking his gaze, “Dig yourself a deeper pit… nopony nevermind, you live in your own shit.” He grasped the poor addicted pony in his telekinetic grip and tossed him aside casually in a pile of emotionally devoid ponies, some still twitching spasmodically, and some just… still… “Yeah!”  The mad stallion laughed in tune.  “A pony septic tank, and yet hellfire insists to burn.” The pony threw his arms into the air rising to his hind legs to proclaim triumphantly, “Everypony spurn the lesson that we all refuse to learn “My mother land spreads her filthy legs,” the mad stallion’s song continued, as a mass of clown faced, hole-pocked changelings joined in with a chorus of buzzing hums, “Where one thousand great white cockroaches all laid their bastard eggs.” In the distance the lonely whistle of the Friendship express called out desperately in the darkness, but in the stallion’s mind it was a great diesel locomotive of his homeworld, come to knock the pain and evil of his life from his frail flesh.  He threw his hooves wide welcoming the coming release.  But still the terrible music continued, “And the ghost train blows it’s whistle as we pay the final call, and we all bite our bottom lip as we watch all the pieces fall.” With a scowl, the stallion suddenly became aware of his surroundings, as sanity returned, and with it so many unwelcome memories.  Of the plague, of his escape, and subsequent rejection by the ponies who had brought his home to ruin.  His grin turned into a bitter sneer. “So… kiss your sister on the mouth and then blame it on war.” His eyes glossed over with the memory of the horrors that he had witnessed, and survived.  He thought back on the ruination of humanity as he had known it under the deprivation of the Pink Step Plague… the Pink Sin.  The memory renewed his terrible purpose and his voice rang clear with a terrifying conviction, “After all that little girl was just a future pony whore!” “Yeah!”  The Pony spat and was washed in the cleansing green flames of changeling fire, revealing a hole pocked changeling stallion with a bright blue mane, clad in a purple zoot suit.  He spread his tattered gossamer wings and flew to the warehouse’s rooftop where he leveled his baleful gaze on Upper Canterlot, and the Castle of the Two Princesses, and the hated Silver Prince who brought his world to ruin. “A rotting pony church… one that’s is just about to fall. You can open up the Church doors and watch all the roaches crawl!” And as quickly as the music began, it was over, and the wicked changeling smiled gently on the skyline and whispered to the darkness itself, “I’m back, Canterlot… Didja miss me?  Because I certainly missed you…” > Escalation: Debbie, Dead Lift > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Debbie I just got this invitation to some kind of weird pony game! Becky Dammit Debs, I don’t have time for your weird hobbies right now!  If I don’t get this report done my mom’s gonna kill me.  And yours is due tomorrow too, ya know! Debbie I know!  I’m gonna get on it as soon as I check this out! Becky You know it’s gonna be full of creepy old nerds, right? It’s probably some kind of weird brony sex-chat! Debbie That happened once, Becky!  One time. You are never going to let me live that down are you? Becky Those who don’t learn history are doomed to repeat it, Debbie. Along with those who don’t finish their reports and fail history. Debbie Character selection is kinda lame. Becky What did you expect?  It was probably written by some 40-year-old in his mom’s basement. Debbie Yeah, it’s all a bunch of stupid OCs. Debbie Oooo, wait a minute, there’s a Pinkie Pie changeling! Becky You’re totally gonna fail history. Debbie Drop the drama llama, girl.  I’m gonna get on it as soon as I log in and set my character. Get this, “Princess Diane Dragonfly Noone”.  She’s a “nightmare changeling”. Becky So you’re gonna be an emo bug-horse?  LoL Debbie Shut up! I just got one more click, and I’ll get back on my report. “Do you want to be a pony?”  That would be a yes! Becky How’s the game? Becky Debbie?  You there? Becky If you’re ignoring me, it better be for that report, not some stupid pony game! Becky Debbie, your parents just called my house to see if you were over here. Are you okay? Becky Debbie, if this is some kind of joke, cut it out and call your folks. They’re freaking out, and they’ve called the police. -=-=-=-=- Usagi, Call in the others, and sit down. Don’t read another word until your all together. He’s still out there. Iam Noon is still alive.  I know where he came from!  He was one of the damned ponies “Friendship Problems”!  There’s a Doctor Fetlock in Manehattan, and get this… she’s the text!  At least one of them.  She got caught kidnapping humans and turning them into ponies!  They caught her, and do you know what they did? They let her go!  But that’s not the worst of it… she brought Noone here.  More than that, she made him!  Ki IS Noone!  He always was!  It’s so obvious!  When Trainwreck trapped him at the circus… we saw it…  He pulled the plague out of him! And we saw what was left.  We SAW it! Ki was never imune!  I should have seen it back in the hospital, when then the shit was just starting… the way he led us out, the way he always knew where the ferals were gonna be… he wasn’t immune, he was a goddamned changeling.   And then he stopped in front of that train.  Talking to himself.  I wrote it off as we all knew he was crazy. He was talking to that damned horse bitch!  She was stealing humans, and when she realized what kind of diseased crazy fuck she had the crazy bitch tried to put him back… and she failed.  Twilight made lots of notes.  Lot’s of theories.. But it all boiled down to one thing.  Or rather a legion of things.  A legion of one insane human,  One human we thought was immune to the plague, but he had already changed… he was just a changeling playing human. Can’t blame him for that… the Pink Sin made monsters out of all of us… But Fetlock… she kidnapped humans and sold them as ponies… and she took an insane plague survivor, and she tried to sell him as a sex slave… and then she gave him real power. What would you do?  I know what I would do… and we all know what he did.  And the pony’s princess of “Friendship” banished HIM as the monster, and she left this Fetlock bitch in Manehattan to run same kind of matchmaker service. I gotta go north.  I need you to meet me at the station in Manehattan.  Bring Michelle, if she’s is in.  Twilight seems certain this Fetlock learned some kind of lesson,  But I want some back-up.  I learned a thing or two from Franklin about the kind of people who make monsters.  I’m leaving Z in Ponyville with Pinkie Pie.  That girl doesn’t need to see how it goes down. Love, James Jackson > Explanations and Conclusions: Twilight Sparkle > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Princess Luna, I’m reluctant to bring this up, given that I’d like to think of Mr. Deadlift as a friend, and I know it’s very important to keep a friends trust, and their secrets… but not when said friend is doing something dangerous, or that could get them in a lot of trouble.  And I’m afraid that Deadlift and his friends are going to do exactly that. ...And… it’s kinda… in a way… my fault.  I should explain. I’ve been helping Mr. Deadlift try to figure out what happened to Carrot Plate after the attack in Baltimare.  But we’ve run into numerous dead-ends, as the mare seems to have disappeared from Equestria without a trace.  Thus far, no amount of research and no tracking spell I’ve been able to locate has been of any help.  To pass the time, the stallion had taken to reading through some of my casebooks concerning past friendship problems my friends and I have helped to solve.  Honestly, given Mr. Deadlift’s overall sour disposition, I couldn’t see learning more about friendship being anything but good for the pony. Unfortunately, he came across a particular case that has alway, quite frankly bothered me in it’ various… unseemly implications.  Furthermore, this particular case may have a very personal connection to Mr. Deadlift and his friends in Las Pegasus.  If he’s right in his assumptions, it could well have implications into the recent troubles in Canterlot concerning the changeling who calls himself “The Nopony”.  Though I’m not as sure about this as Mr. Deadlift, he seems quite certain about his conclusions.  I’ve included a brief summary of the events concerning a mare by the name of Fetlock, who claimed that she could return lost ponies from the dead.  Please be aware that some of this information is of a very sensitive nature, especially as it concerns the Apple family. I won’t go to far into details here, as you can find all the relevant data in the summary, and I can make the case file itself available if you would like to see my own notes on the spells and magical processes involved.  Suffice to say, Dr. Fetlock was not returning lost ponies at all, but rather abducting humans, transforming them into likenesses of her clients lost loved ones, and then brainwashing them to play the part.  Again, I cannot stress enough the confidential nature of this information as it relates to the Apple Family.  They have been through enough grief without the information in this file becoming public. As bad as this was, in and off itself, it actually got worse.  Dr. Fetlock was eventually no longer content with simply replacing lost loved ones, but began creating completely new ponies, and in one case a copy of a relatively famous pony to serve as companions for her clients.  Yes, I am serious.  And yes, it is exactly as bad as it sounds.  I went to Manehattan with Applejack to confront the misguided doctor, after she confessed to me that she had been one of her clients (again, I won’t go into details here, but they are contained within the summary). To make a long story short, we arrived just in time to save the Doctor from a crisis of her own making, as one of her victims had gained an alarming amount of control over her relative position within the space time continuum after Dr. Fetlock made the disastrous effect of trying t through the newly summoned and transformed human back into its own world.  The resulting pony was enraged beyond reason, and in the end all I could do was to banish the poor creature (now a cacophony of mirror pools reflections of itself, flickering in and out of existence both at real and at random) to limbo to stop her (them?) from hurting any and everypony they came into contact with. The one bright spot was that this seemed to be a wake-up call for Dr. Fetlock, who acknowledged that perhaps she had misinterpreted her place in Equestria and that there were better ways to fill the pony shaped voids represented by her cutie mark than summoning beings from other planes of existence. So, having convinced another wayward pony to change her ways and embrace harmony, I made extensive copies of her own case files and returned to Ponyville.  And this is where he current problem began.  Mr. Deadlift was, understandably upset that a pony had been abducting and using humans in this manner, but what really set him off was Fetlock description of the human she summoned who became “Legion Scratch” (sorry, Rainbow Dash came up with that name after we told her what had happened, and the name just stuck). According to Mr. Deadlift, her description of both the humans appearance and behavior matches that of a human from their own world.  Also a human who had already died here in Equestria.  Specifically the human generally referred to as “Charlie” who was confined by Surprise Pastel to have been this timelines version of the human who became Trainwreck Pastel. I tried pointing out that the human in question was never transformed into a changeling, he was transformed into a copy of DJ Pon3.  Deadlift however immediately jumped to the conclusion that the human had been a changeling before leaving it’s own world.  Given what little we know about the human world that spawned Deadlift, Trainwreck, and their friends, it doesn’t seem entirely impossible.  It was entirely impossible to discern Train Wreck’s original species from what Discord made him into, and since he seemingly vanished from existence there’s no way t ask him myself.  I tried asking Discord himself, but he merely shrugged, insisting he “couldn’t be bothered to check at the time”.  However, it is generally known to those ponies familiar with the Nopony that he was (or claimed to be) a former human who bore a striking resemblance to the human who became Trainwreck Pastel.  And we honestly don’t have any idea when or how he became a changeling in the first place. However if Mr. Deadlift is correct, then it is entirely possible that there are still copies, or perhaps versions of the Nopony out there.  I have already advised my own guards to be on the lookout, but he shouldn’t be too hard to spot, given that hiding doesn’t seem to be his style. I’m more concerned with what Mr. Deadlift and his friends may do when they confront Dr. Fetlock, in particular if she has continued or returned to her old ways.  Mr. Deadlift is not a BAD pony, really, but I’ve never seen anypony so angry… and I guess I don’t blame him.  It probably IS for the best that somepony should look in on the good doctor, but I was wondering if you could send a few of your guards, or perhaps one of the warlocks… just to make sure Mr. Deadlift and his friends don’t do something they might regret. Thank you for your consideration. Your Friend, Twilight Sparkle