While the real Royal Wedding had been underway, it had been up to the Royal Guard--both day and night--to help round up the wounded. Thankfully--and shockingly--there had been no fatalities despite the massive invasion of Changelings. They had outnumbered everypony at least 3 to 1, perhaps even more. The Royal Guard had been absolutely...well...useless. After all, Equestria was generally peaceful. While some saw combat with various monsters, it was rare, and the majority of the Guard had never been in a real combat situation. Training wasn't the same. Mock combat, drills...they didn't prepare you for that feeling you get inside you, that cold clutch around your heart when you were fighting for your life, or the lives of those around you.
Guards who had been on the job for years froze up. Many younger rookie guards had, too. The Changelings had done their job well. Confusion and chaos reigned, the guards had been overtaken and overwhelmed. When Shining Armor's spell had reactivated and sent the Changelings to Celestia knows where, it had been a relief. As the Royal Wedding preparations began again, the Guard, even those to the point of exhaustion, began the reparations of Canterlot and helping its injured citizens.
After Canterlot had been restored and its citizens tended to, new training regimens began. The ponies capable of magic began training with Shining Armor to learn the Changeling shield. Celestia had found out the hard way that having only one pony capable of such a thing could be disastrous. Granted, it was a very difficult spell, and to maintain it the way Shining Armor had would be nearly impossible for any one of the ponies alone, including the Pegacorn in the midst of learners.
Licorice Twist had to admit he was impressed. To uphold such a spell for such a massive duration, he couldn't fathom it. He'd been one of the ponies to run himself to exhaustion during the attack. He'd found a family of ponies and had protected them with his life, maintaining a defensive shield spell around them, having it battered, and dropping it to lash out with his wing blades, constantly moving, fighting, and using magic,. He'd forced himself to go through the night, however. He had a duty, and his duty was all he knew. That Shining Armor had been able to uphold such a massive, draining shield for so long made him feel almost...incompetent. But he'd been starting to be able to work the spell. Perhaps not to Shining Armor's extent, but at least he could perhaps do one pony at a time.
And so the days went by, the Royal Guard busier than ever with added training, twice extra for those learning Shining Armor's spell. They were also taught a signalling spell. The signalling spell would alert the Princesses that changelings, or perhaps a new threat, had made themselves known. Of course, the ponies would not question Shining Armor, but none knew why they would need to learn such a spell. That became clear quite soon.
Another week had gone by, then one by one those that had at least a usable grasp of Shining Armor's spell were called into the throne room. When it was Licorice Twist's turn, he was surprised to find both Princess Celestia and Luna standing before him. He lowered himself to one knee, his other foreleg stretched before him and tip of his horn touching the floor, bowing deeply before his Princesses.
"Your Highnesses," Licorice Twist greeted them humbly, standing once he'd been given acknowledgement.
"THOU HAST SERVED US MOST HONORABLY, LICORICE TWIST!!!!!"
Licorice Twist blinked his eyes a bit, feeling his mane and tail fluttering from the force of Princess Luna's 'Royal Canterlot Voice.' He also completely ignored Princess Luna covering her mouth with her hoof to hide a little chuckle. Would she never get over having a Guard named Licorice Twist? No, likely not. He'd learned to ignore it quite well by now. The first time she had met him, after her first Nightmare Night, she had actually downright laughed. Fell into a right fit of giggles. He'd been so angry and so...humiliated. She had apologized, of course, and had managed to--mostly--contain herself after. But that little snicker still got through every now and then.
"WE HEREBY AGREE WITH OUR SISTER AND BEHEST UPON THEE A SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT!!!!"
"LUNA!!!"
Luna giggled and gave her sister a little pout. "But SIS! I like that voice!"
Celestia made a face at her younger sister and looked down upon the still blinking, unique-looking pony before them. She bowed her head to Licorice Twist lightly and smiled. "What my sister is trying to say....we are assigning a special mission to you. We have picked cities throughout Equestria and those of you who have learned Shining Armor's spell well enough will be sent to keep watch. You will act as protector and warning bell. Should any Changelings appear, you will use the signalling spell you learned to immediately alert us so we can send reinforcements."
Licorice Twist used much of his willpower not to allow his ears to droop down. He was being sent away! Was it because he hadn't done well as a guard? Had he failed? HOW had he failed? He'd protected that family til he nearly fell over from sheer exhaustion! He'd worked so hard during the attack and the aftermath, even though he'd been dead on his hooves! Oh shit, had he missed something? Did he zone out? As all this raced through his mind, however, he simply nodded at this news. He would not outwardly question his Princesses.
"Am I to be heading back to Fillydelphia, Highnesses?" Of course, it was a natural assumption.
"No," Celestia shook her head. "My sister and I have discussed you at length. She did not want to lose you. But with what she knows of you and has told me, I have decided to send you to a city very important to me. You will go to....Ponyville."
An alicorn. A terrestrial deity, from Fillydelphia. In the guard, and Ponyville. This smells of alicorn-OC, and not in the humorous parody way. Someone read it and leave a comment for the rest of us to know by.
887203
Or you could read it for yourself and see, but as I've seen you around and know your type, you simply like to go around and act some sort of superior and cause trouble. Such wonders we have in the brony community.
Better than I thought it would be. Grammar's well done, storyline isn't completely cut and paste, and the alicorn isn't the overpowered OC most writers make them to be, although it would make more sense to just make him a unicorn. Could use a bit more content, but so far it's a fairly good beginning.
Looking forward to seeing where it goes.
887269
Honestly, he was made before I realized this loving and tolerating fanbase had an unbiased and somewhat ridiculous hatred towards Alicorn characters. I made him more for looks than anything, He's not meant to be powerful, that's no fun. What's the point if you can just point and zap? There goes the whole story.
Your OC reeks of Mary Sue. Alicorn, royal guard, fighting with "wing blades", alicorn, adopted with no known biological parents, alicorn, friends with both Celestia and Luna from the beginning, alicorn, travels a lot, alicorn, already assumed to be a master fighter, alicorn, alicorn, and most importantly... HE'S A FUCKING ALICORN!!! Sorry, but no. Just because I'm kind, I will not down vote your story, but that does not mean I shouldn't. Never, EVER, make your OC an alicorn, unless you have a damn good reason for it, and that is pretty much never. Not trying to be mean, but you really should know this by now from the towering pile of dead alicorn OC's that never saw the light of day.
887300
Obviously you didn't read any of it, because he's not friends with the Princesses at all, he just serves them. He also does not travel a lot. So...you made a lot of assumptions here, which show you didn't even bother to read the story, which means, yes, you're trying to be 'mean'. Because you're doing an awful lot of assuming.
The story is good. But heres the thing no alicorn can not be male unless its in "On a cross and arrow", and the alicorn must be royalty, and they would not be a part of the royal guard. The story is a good one the only downfall is the main character.
887269
Ignoring Twist's arrogant and boorish response, acting as if he's somehow clairvoyant enough to know me...
Thank you ImaCloset, your post was informative and just what I was looking for. If the alicorn OC is well done and not yet another Gary Stu as the other thousand we have to deal with, then I will give this a read and see if I like the story. Onward, to the reading!
887282
It's not ridiculous. If you made him before you realized that you must be pretty new. EVERY friggin' twelve to fifteen year old who thinks having a godling for a character is 'cool' has made alicorn OCs and those with access to document programs have thrown them at us relentlessly, screeching at us to accept their mary sues. So I'll grant you some advice... if you want to go this route, try a pegacorn, and make it a distinction early on that it's like, some sort of genetic mutation. Just a winged unicorn, not as good a flyer as a decent pegasus, not as good with what little magic most unicorns have as a decent unicorn.
Plenty of material there that people love. An aberration, outsider mistrusted and looked down upon trying to make his place in the world with the strength of his heart and back, overcoming the odds and social pains. If you make yourself an alicorn, no one's going to take you seriously off the bat, even if you write an awesome story. Look at Past Sins. Fantastic story, but one of the most controversial in the fandom, because half of the readers hate the iteration of Nightmare Moon as a separate entity for being admittedly a Mary Sue. You are facing monumental hatred because we have to deal with "lol my alicorn raises sun and moon so princess can take a break and twilight sparkle is my waifu" no less than thirty times EVERY DAY.
So, not ridiculous, and you will be downrated unfairly before anyone reads the story. Flying in the face of that, that's something you have to be prepared for, instead of implying everyone else is wrong for not immediately accepting your OC or giving it a chance. People are so bad with OCs that many readers hate OCs altogether, especially stories centered on them. Now, I'm not trying to be insulting, but I am trying to be illuminating. These are things you are going to have to understand due to your decision.
887314
Now, all of this said and done, and I've read your chapter completely. Being noticed immediately, kind of a no-no. You put time distortion on the Canterlot battle, which did not last into the night. You still have your alicorn stronger than any other guard, what you described he did for that family of ponies was extremely mentally, physically, emotionally, and magically taxing. Something a regular guard would not have been able to handle. If you -must- be an alicorn, you want to start like a fledgling, and work your way up into being a bit better than the rest, not... start out that way.
All of that aside though, your writing style is not unattractive, you just made a widely unpopular decision with your OC that will have most people regarding you as the same as any of the squalid children begging for attention to their alicorn OC with a story that makes them out to be just so badass and heroic. It's unfair to you, yes, but it's the reality you've chosen to put yourself into. You're either going to have to make one supremely amazing story that will spread by word of mouth to the naysayers who didn't want to read in order to get the recognition you might be looking for... or I might suggest anything but an alicorn as the main character.