The Empress of Equestria

by DustyBones

Pinkie Pie

“Is everypony ready to paaar-tay?”

Cheers echoed through the casino. Pinkie Pie’s smile spread from ear to ear. She giggled. “Well then let’s party!” She stamped her hoof and balloons exploded from the stage behind her. She twirled to the side and made way for the band, who came onstage blaring out happy music. The crowd cheered.

With that out of the way, she turned away. Other things demanded her attention. She hummed to herself and pranced backstage. An attendant trotted up to her. “Good news, Ms. Pie. The numbers are bigger than expected. We’re almost at capacity throughout Los Pegasus.”

Pinkie’s smile stretched. “That’s amazing!” she said and gave the mare a hug, “This’ll be the biggest party ever!”

“It sure will!” The mare giggled. “Gotta run.”

She darted off and Pinkie turned her attention back to the crowd. So many ponies! And they all deserved to be happy! Everypony deserved to be happy. And she, Pinkie Pie, was the one to make them so.

Sure, it was strange having Twilight in charge. But honestly? As long as she could spread joy and smiles, did it really matter? No, of course not! Silly Pinkie. She giggled. Put those dreary thoughts away! It was time for fun!

She hopped onto the dance floor, right into the middle of a dance-off. Time to work some magic. “Aaaaand in the red corner, the mean, green, dancing machine, Two-Step!” she said. The stallion blinked, surprised she knew his name. Oh what a cutie. She knew everypony’s name! She was Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter. “And in the blue, the fighting-fit, fetching mare of the hour, Butter Cream!” She stepped back. “I want to see a clean dance battle! No dirty moves.” She giggled and snorted. Oh Pinkie, you’re hilarious sometimes! “And the winner will be decided by who can get the loudest cheers at the end! 3-2-1 begin!”

Alright, that was settled. Now she had about five minutes before she needed to show back up and oversee the ‘cheer to see who wins’ ceremony. In the meantime…

She bounced over to the buffet, licking her lips. To the surrounding ponies, “Cake’s coming!” True to her word, the chefs emerged from the kitchen seconds later with a massive cake in tow. The ponies cheered and flocked to the table, but not as fast as Pinkie. The head chef rolled his eyes playfully and chuckled.

“Ms. Pie,” he said, “I believe you’ve had quite enough for one day.”

“Ha!” she retorted, bouncing up and down, “Shows what you know! There’s no such thing as too much cake!” The first slice was soon hers by right of conquest. She gobbled it up, checked on the ponies entering the concert, and was back just in time to oversee the dance-off’s final moments. Butter Cream won by popular vote.

“Whew,” she said to herself, “All this partying is making me thirsty. To the bar!” Alcohol always helped a party along! Though some ponies drank to forget things. Was she trying to forget something? No, of course not. That would be silly. Although she was a very silly pony. And if she had succeeded on forgetting something, she wouldn’t know it because she forgot it. But if she forgot and still was happy…

A stallion stopped and frowned at her. “Er...are you alright?”

She blinked and beamed at him. “I forgot!” And with that, she bounced away to get that drink.

Ooh! A drinking contest! She grinned wide and landed on a stool. “Hit me, Blue Blaze!” she said to the bartender. He slid a big mug of cider down her way, sliding past plates and glasses with expert aim. She snatched it up and downed it in one go. “Another!” she called, resisting the urge to smash it on the ground. After all, she’d need a beard and a hammer for that.

Mug after mug piled up in front of her. She overtook and then passed the other contestants. And when they collapsed, snoring, she was still up and raring to go. The crowd cheered. She threw her hooves in the air and surfed over the masses of bodies, borne up by willing hooves. She giggled and laughed all the way to the swimming pool, where they dropped her right into the middle of a water polo tournament!

“Marco!” she called and clambered out real quick.

“Pol--” a player began.

“Wrong game!” the other players shouted in chorus. Pinkie giggled and went to dry off.

The casinos really had everything. Everything she could wish for! The lights, the sounds, the full-automatic full-body dryers, and the softest, warmest towels in the whole wide world. And maybe beyond! Though if there were softer towels outside of the world, where did they come from? Did aliens make them? Was there a planet made entirely of towels? DId time travelers come back to save the world and leave their soft, futuristic towels behind? No! What if they needed them! They had to find a way to--

“Return the towels!” she declared.

A frightened stallion stopped what he was doing. “Relax...I’m just taking it to my room. It’s so soft.”

“Oh not you, silly,” she said with a laugh. He smiled nervously. Hmm, that wasn’t any good. A nervous smile was worse than no smile! She stepped closer to him. “Why’re you headed to your room? The party just started!”

He shrugged. “Eh. I’m not in the partying mood right now.”

It was worse than she thought. She could not let this stand! And so, she stepped in front of him and blocked off his retreat! “Aw, why not? Tell your friend Pinkie what’s wrong.”

“Oh, it’s nothing against you,” he said, “This is...well, it’s amazing that you put everything together. And that you hoof-wrote all the invitations. And knew my name when I walked in. I played a few games, danced with a pretty mare, but I just can’t get into it right now.”

Pinkie nodded. “I understand.” She grinned. “What you need is a balloon!” In a flash, she had a balloon tied around his hoof.

He chuckled. “Thanks. It’s nice. But--”

“Two balloons! Three! A whole bushel of balloons!” Pinkie paused. “Or is it a bunch of balloons? A balloonaplooza?”

He strained to remain on the ground, lifted off by the amount of balloons wrapped around him. “Thank...you? I’ll just take the one.”

“You sure?”

“Very.”

Pinkie sighed and reclaimed all but one balloon. “How about some cake?”

He shook his head. “Already had some.”

Pinkie frowned. “Okay mister. I am making it my mission to get you in the partying mood! So tell me, what’s stopping you and how can I make it better?”

He hesitated for a moment. His shoulders remained tense and she could see some internal debate raging within him. But her smile broke it. His shoulders slumped and a long, weary sigh escaped his lungs. “It’s a year to the day since my brother died,” he said, “We were...we were close. Very close.”

Pinkie ground to a halt. Oh, this was worse than expected. So much worse. “Well…” she said, weighing her options, “Was your brother fun?”

He half-laughed, half-sobbed. “Yeah. He was pretty great. At his wedding, he got really drunk and told jokes that had us all rolling on the floor.” His face contorted, joy and grief mingling in equal parts. “He and his wife had been married less than a month when the airship they were flying in crashed in the mountains. They didn’t make it.”

Pinkie didn’t like the way this conversation was heading, but she pressed forward. You had to have hope things would work out in the end, otherwise you’d go crazy! “Do you think he would have enjoyed this party?”

He took a deep breath and looked around. A smile tugged at the edges of his mouth. “He would have loved it.”

“Then enjoy it for him!” Pinkie said, “He wouldn’t have wanted you to be unhappy, so laugh! Have fun! And eat some more of the cake, it’s reaaaaaaally good.”

“I have,” he said, “And I am. But it’s the anniversary of the crash. I had fun, I raised a glass to his memory. But I can’t just forget about him either.”

“Of course you can!” Pinkie said brightly.

That got his attention. His mouth worked silently for a moment and he stared at her. “What?”

She threw a foreleg over his shoulders. “Life’s too short to worry and be sad! So if something’s making you sad, just forget about it. If you can remember to laugh, all your problems will go away. Giggle at the Ghostie!” She giggled. “Like that!”

He slid away took a step back. “That...can’t be right, I--”

“Of course it is!” She stepped forward. “I’m the Element of Laughter, silly. If there’s anything I know, it’s how to be happy.”

He shook his head. “No. No, that’s wrong. I know it is.” He turned away. “I...I need to go lie down, I think.”

She reached for him. “Oh come on, stay a--”

“Don’t touch me.”

Everything inside of her pulled up short. Now it was her turn to say, “What?”

He clenched his eyes shut, holding back tears. “I’m...I’m sorry. I just really need to be alone right now.”

“O-kay…” Pinkie said, “Er, there’s gonna be another concert at midnight.”

“Thanks. I’ll watch it from the window.” He headed toward the elevator. Pinkie stood frozen, torn between going after him and helping him have fun and...something else. A strange, un-Pinkie moodiness that kept her legs glued to the floor and a muzzle on her mouth. He nodded to her as the door closed. “Goodnight. And thanks for the party.”

“You’re welcome,” she said softly. Almost like Fluttershy. And then he was gone.

She stared after him for a moment, war raging inside her mind. Someone called to her and she snapped right back into party mode. And for a while, everything was fun again. She sang, she danced, she blew herself out of a party cannon. But that second voice, the un-Pinkie, niggled at the back of her brain. And no matter how loud her songs, no matter how big her glasses of cider, no matter how many ponies she made laugh or smile, it did not go away. She could not drown it out.

The party wasn’t as fun anymore. The colors were dull, the laughter distant. She downed her last glass and did the unthinkable. She’d always been good at appearing in unexpected places. But now, she disappeared from the one place that everyone would have expected to find her. She disappeared from her own party and stumbled into her penthouse suite.

All the cider she’d drunk hit her at once. She ran to the bathroom and let herself be violently ill for a few minutes, disgorging everything she’d eaten and drank all at once.The cake, the alcohol, it all fought to get out. Then, she used the toilet for its intended purpose and went to wash up. She turned the water on, scrubbed soap all over her hooves, and found herself looking right into her own face.

“Gah!” she said and stumbled backwards. Her heart rate soared for a moment. “Oh,” she said and giggled, “A mirror! Of course. Gosh, it’s been so long since I’ve -- hic -- seen one!” She clapped her hooves to her mouth. “Oh my. I must be really drunk. I don’t normally get hiccups.”

Her reflection stared back at her silently. It was covered in, well, all sorts of nasty stuff. But at least it was still smiling! Well, one of them was. She blinked hard. “Oh my, I am drunk. I’m seeing double!”

But no, that couldn’t be right. The second reflection was clean, though its pelt was a bit long in places. And its mane had fallen down and hung straight as an arrow. And it looked out from behind the glass with something unpleasant in its eyes. Pity. Disgust. Sadness. Maybe a mix of them.

“You’ve got something right here,” The second reflection pointed to her chin. Pinkie put her own hoof there and found a bit of vomit clinging to her pelt. A splash of water washed it away. “And here,” the rellection said. She guided Pinkie to all the bits of filth covering her face. Pinkie smiled, beaming back at her.

“Thanks, me!” she said. The reflection did not respond. It stared at her with sad eyes. Pinkie poked at it. “You know, for an image of me, you’re kinda sad.” She rolled onto her back and stared up at it. “And that’s silly! Because you’re me and I’m the Element of Laughter!”

The reflection shook her head. “You shouldn’t laugh all the time. And you should know that.”

Pinkie, naturally, giggled. “You’re funny.”

“I wasn’t joking.”

“Everything’s a joke if you can laugh at it!”

“Hurting ponies isn’t a joke.”

Pinkie sat up. “Hurting ponies?” she said, “Who’s hurting ponies? I’m not. I’m helping them!”

The reflection pressed up against the glass. “Please, listen to me. This is wrong. You’re not helping them. You’re just helping them bury their pain deeper and deeper. It’s not gone. It’ll come back. And it’ll be worse.”

Pinkie blinked at the reflection blearily. “You’re not like me at all. You know that?”

“Pinkie,” the reflection said, “I am you. But you’re not me. Not the real me, anyway.”

Pinkie giggled. “That’s even sillier! You’re a reflection in the mirror! I’m real.”

“Trapped in a mirror,” the reflection said, “And in the back of your mind. I see everything you do. For weeks I tried to stop you, get you to listen. But you broke all the mirrors and drank until you couldn’t hear me. But now that I have you…”

Pinkie didn’t like where this was going. “What are you…?”

The reflection stood straight. “Pinkamena Diane Pie, you are no hero. You’ve become a villain. The worst kind. You lure ponies in with innocent fun and twist them. Because of you, they turn a blind eye to the hurt and pain of others. They walk by ponies in need, laughing merrily and raising a toast to each other. While foal’s starve, they go to parties. You’re an enemy of Equestria and ponykind, Pinkie.”

Pinkie blinked and squinted. “What’s wrong with a little laughter?” she asked.

The reflection caught her eyes and held them with hers. They were so bright they burned right into Pinkie’s soul. “Laughter is no good when it becomes a blindfold.”

“Laughter is always good!”

“No. It’s not. And you know it too. Deep down.” The reflection put a hoof on the glass. “Please stop this, Pinkie. It isn’t fun anymore. You’re not fun anymore.”

Pinkie’s smile fled. She stood up. She stumbled into the bedroom and tore through it, looking for something. Naturally, it was sitting in plain sight on the counter the whole time. She re-entered the bathroom and slammed it on the table. The reflection tilted her head in confusion. “Cider?”

“I’m not fun, am I?” Pinkie asked. She popped the cork and took a swig. “I’ll show you just how fun I am!” She took another swig. “I’m a lot of fun, see? I can drink until the sun comes up!”

“Pinkie,” the reflection said, “Please stop!”

Pinkie threw the bottle. It shattered against the mirror and shattered the mirror two. Glass fell in a cascade around her. And then, mercifully, the reflection’s voice fell silent.

Pinkie giggled and staggered out of the bathroom. “Showed you!” she called. The bed looked so warm, so comforting. She collapsed on it. “Sure...showed you.” Her giggles softened and stilled. Her smile faded. She stared at the ceiling and shook her head. “I’m Pinkie Pie. I’m the bestest, funnest pony there is,” she murmured, “Fun...heh. Fun, fun, fun...fun…”

Author's Note:

Short, I know. But I didn't think it really needed much else.

Comments

[Dusk Star Shine]

I can't wait to see what happens when the Mane 6 come across a villain they aren't able to stop because they don't have Celestia or Luna with their power to help them, I can't wait to see Twilight get a beat down too.

[J-90]

Interesting... I wonder how are Rares and AJ doing with their parts of responsibility?

[DeKar]

So they can see their original selves through a mirror. Now... How to get them back?

[BronyPonyMan]

Damn, I was really hoping that Twilight and them genuinely wanted to make Equestria a better place. Now it's all just a fucked plot that needs to be stopped.

[FarmFreshAppleTarts]

Pinkie, naturally, giggled. “You’re funny.”

Reminds me that she hated the fake smiles at Our Town. She doesn't belive in fake happiness and is more than fine with losing her cool and crying. Always happy pinkie is fake and sad.