Princess Celestia always stood on the lookout for trouble and threats to her reign. But never did she expect those closest to her to betray her.
When danger threatens Equestria, six ponies rise to meet it. No matter where it comes from or how terrible and mighty it is, the power of their friendship will always prevail. For when friends stand together, especially Twilight and her friends, nothing can stand before them. As long as they remain united, no monster, pony, or god can defeat them.
It felt odd to wake up with the sun already in the sky. It’d had been so long since she’d ever slept that late. But there’s a time and a place for everything. A time to live. A time to die. A time to laugh. A time to weep. Yes, that was the way of things. But this, this felt wrong. She folded her wings and pulled the blankets tighter to her body. And why wouldn’t it? A part of her was missing, like a hollow space just below her heart.
A knock came at the door. “May I come in?” a timid voice called.
She sighed. She did not want to get up quite yet. It was easier to stay in bed. But her little ponies needed her and she would never deny them, especially not now. They needed her more than ever. So she took a deep breath, steeled her nerves, and sat up. A long, pink mane fell about her shoulders, uncombed and tangled. It didn’t used to need brushing. “Enter,” she said.
A unicorn mare pushed the door ajar. She brought with her a tea-tray laden with scones and Celestia’s favorite earl grey. Celestia smiled at her. “Thank you, Silver Service." She knew the names of all the servants in the palace. All the nobles too. "You are too kind.” The unicorn began to bow. “Please don’t.”
The mare stumbled but recovered. “As you wish, Princess Celestia.”
A wry, unhappy smile crossed Celestia’s face. “Silver, may I call you Silver?”
“Of course.”
“Silver, forgive me, but you do not seem to be blind.” Celestia tapped her forehead, right on the spot that Silver Service’s horn stood. “I am not a princess. Not any longer. It’s...it’s just Sunny now. Sunny Skies.”
“You will always be our princess,” the unicorn said firmly, “Our beloved, fair, kind, just ruler. Princess Celestia.”
“Thank you. Your words mean more to me than you can ever know.” Celestia dipped her head. “But nothing can change what has already happened.” That was a lie and she knew it. But it was better her little ponies didn’t get false hope.
Silver Service approached the bed. “If I may speak?”
Celestia, or Sunny rather, laughed. “Why, who am I to stop you? Speak and may the world be glad of your words! Sing, if you wish.” She rose and stretched her wings. “You know, I like to sing sometimes. Oh, but here I am rambling. Please, tell me what you wanted to say.”
Silver Service glanced over her shoulder and leaned in conspiratorially. “There are many who are still loyal, you know. Say the word and half the Royal Guard will rise. Another third will not interfere. And the last, well, they would not be able to stop us.”
Sunny’s face turned grim. “Silver. I have been forced to fight many times. Discord, Tirek, the Changelings, and other, terrible creatures that threatened the safety of my little ponies. But never, never, have I led ponies to war with each other. Not in a war that I started, and there have been precious few of those. And I do not intend to now.”
Silver stomped a hoof, a very unladylike gesture. “Do you know how much it hurts us?” she snapped, “Do you even care? Every day, you sit up there. Beside her. And you do nothing. You do not even resist. At least Luna fought.”
“Silver. Did I not say that fighting was what I hoped to avoid?”
Silver’s cheeks flushed and her brow knit together in anger. “The nobles will support you. The peasants adore you. The majority of the guard will rise to your name. Even the Wonderbolts will fly to your defense! Why? Why do you sit here and play...” Her lips curled in disgust. “Chief Advisor to that usurper! Is it because of her relationship to you?”
“Perhaps,” Sunny admitted with care, “But there is another, more important reason. One that you would be wise not to forget.”
“And what’s that?” There was acid in the unicorn’s voice.
Sunny’s voice was tinged with sadness. “She is the Element of Magic. And now she holds the power of three alicorns. But even more important, she is Twilight Sparkle, friend to Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash. They wield the Elements of Harmony. Between her and her friends, no force in Equestria or beyond is strong enough to face them and win.”
/////////////
The door to the Court of Harmony slid open. Sunny knew each inch of the room through long years of occupation. The throne sat empty and no guards were in sight, but the stain-glassed windows cast rainbow patterns along the floor. Sunny’s heart warmed at the sight. The court was a gift to her from the dear ponies of old, a place of solace and consolation after her sister’s banishment. She’d spent so many hours here, sorting through disputes, entertaining nobles and foreign dignitaries, and teaching those who came into her care. She loved each stone, each tile, each pane of glass. The throne itself was a gift from Starswirl, her old friend, mentor, and confidante. She loved it most of all, not for the power it represented, but the memories bound within.
Slowly, she slipped up onto the throne. She’d never realized how tall it was until now. Even standing on her hind legs, she couldn’t reach her former height. Just as well, this wasn’t her seat anymore. Not for the past few months.
She closed her eyes and imagined she was tall again, with a radiant horn on her forehead and a mane that flickered and moved from the sheer power of her magic. She imagined that she sat comfortably on the throne and smiled down at the little problems her mortal subjects brought to her. They were always in such a hurry. It was always so cute. She imagined she could feel the sun again. She remembered the horrible first moment when she couldn’t.
She hadn’t questioned why Twilight and her friends wanted to meet with her privately. They were her friends too. She’d been glad to see them. She’d even made sure their favorite snacks had been ready (quite the task for the kitchens thanks to Pinkie Pie). She’d done it gladly. She loved them as if they were her own daughters.
She slipped deeper into the memory. She remembered feeling that something was wrong the moment they stepped into the room. Rainbow Dash couldn’t sit still. Not unusual. But she didn’t even make a single attempt to show off, even when Celestia had personally congratulated her on becoming a Wonderbolt. “Y-yeah. Thanks, Princess. It’s great. It’s really great. Everything I ever imagined. And, uh, more.”
Pinkie was Pinkie, of course. She’d devoured the treats set out for her, putting away enough cake to make even the princess of the sun jealous. But though she smiled and said, “Okie, dokie, lokie!” in her usual, cheerful manner, not once did she make a joke or burst into a breathless monologue. When Sunny asked if she was feeling well, she laughed. But she couldn’t hide the moment of pain on her face.
Applejack pushed her apple fritters around on her plate and grunted whenever someone spoke to her. Her hat sat low over her eyes and she shifted from hoof to hoof, nervous. A muttered, “Thank you, princess,” or, “Oh, ya’ll know how it is. Just tired,” was all she could extract from the orange earth pony.
Rarity, on the other hoof, was positively loquacious. She talked endlessly of her successes in the fashion industry and how her new store took Manehatten by storm. Yet Celestia had lived long enough to know when a pony was avoiding a topic. What she couldn’t figure out was what it was. After all, no one expects treachery from their friends.
Of them all, Fluttershy seemed the most normal. She was nervous and made small gasps whenever something surprised her, but such behavior was expected. It hadn’t even raised a question in the princess of the sun’s mind.
Halfway through the scheduled time, Twilight rose. She cleared her throat and summoned an expertly prepared stack of charts and placards. “Princess Celestia,” she said, “You may have guessed, but this isn’t exactly a social visit.” Up came the first chart. “As you can clearly see, I cross-indexed reports of major events over the last century and there is a clear rise in both frequency and seriousness of, well, catastrophes. A hundred years ago, a parasprite swarm would have been a major event, possibly the most serious event of a generation. But compare those days to the present. The return and redemption of Princess Luna from her Nightmare Moon persona, Discord’s release and reformation, Tirek, who I believe speaks for himself, the Changelings invasion, and the near-disaster of Starlight’s interference with the timeline.”
“I am aware Twilight.” Curiosity filled the immortal goddess’ chest. They both knew this. What was Twilight getting at?
Twilight smiled. “And, against all these threats, the Elements of Harmony have stood strong. We have defeated every single threat Equestria has faced. World ending threats, I should emphasize.”
Celestia smiled. “Yes. Your friendship has overcome more than anypony could ever have dreamed. You six truly are remarkable and I am proud to call you my subjects and my friends.” She’d expected them to smile. She’d expected them to be happy, but they nodded as if such a thing were only natural for her to say. For the first time, a stab of something like fear pierced Celestia’s heart. “You are the heroes of Equestria,” she continued, “Friend and savior to all. Never before has anypony contained the power of the Elements of Harmony within them. And, most likely, such a thing will never occur again.”
Twilight raised a hoof and opened her mouth, but for once no words came. Rarity set down her teacup. “Princess,” she said carefully, “What Twilight is getting at is simply this: when ruffians and vagabonds come calling, it’s not you that saves the day. It’s us, darling.”
“Yes!” Twilight nodded. “Thank you, Rarity.” She turned back to Celestia. “And that’s not all! Now, when enemies want to conquer Equestria, they target us first. Why, just last week, a unicorn stallion named Con Mane tried to use dark magic to take over Rainbow Dash and turn her against us. It didn’t work because we’re now the living embodiments of Harmony, but it could have. And this trend is only going to continue.” She paused. “I was very thorough with my lists. You can check them over, if you want.”
Celestia frowned. “Twilight, my dear friend. I’m afraid I don’t understand.”
“Well…” Twilight bit her lip, “It’s not that you’re a bad ruler, Princess, and I don't want to insult you.”
“Oh for crying out loud!” Rainbow Dash flew right into the princess’ face. “Celestia, you’re a great pony, but you’re a terrible ruler. You get steamrolled every time some new villain rolls into Canterlot. And then we come and save the day.”
The words hurt more than they should. Who was this mere pegasus to dare question her, she who wielded the power of the sun itself? Celestia felt herself growing angry, but she forced it down. “Rainbow Dash,” she said with a chuckle, “There’s more to being a ruler than simple power. If that were so, I believe Nightmare Moon would have been more qualified.”
“Yeah. Or Discord,” Rainbow spat. Twilight sighed and telekinetically pulled her friend away from her mentor.
“Twilight.” Celestia’s eyes searched her former student’s. The six of them stood united against her, formed up in a small ring with Twilight in the front. “Please, what is this about?”
Twilight’s face lit up in a smile. “Oh! I suppose there’s no use in hiding it any longer. We’re taking over Equestria.”
It was said so simply, so matter-of-fact, that it took Celestia a moment to process it. It took her another to notice that the six were glowing. “Twilight?” she asked, “Are you...you can’t be serious!” The glow brightened. Celestia considered stopping them with force. She could. But she and Twilight both knew that the loving princess would never dare hurt one of her subjects. She didn’t know what effect the Elements would have on her, but she wasn’t keen to find out either. “Twilight, think for a moment. Without me, who will raise the sun?”
“I will,” Twilight said, “You taught me how to absorb alicorn magic. And I think it might be best if I take your unicorn magic too, while you transition into your new life.”
Now Celestia remembered what fear felt like. But it was too late. The Elements struck her and turned her to stone. She sat there, powerless, as Twilight perverted the spells she’d shown her on the fateful day of Tirek’s arrival and stripped her godhood from her. When the Elements freed her once more, it was not Princess Celestia, ruler and benefactor of Equestria, that stumbled forth, but Sunny Skies, a pale, pink-maned pegasus with all the memories, fears, and loves of a goddess.
They took Luna while she slept. Predictably, the moon princess could not been roused by anything short of a rampaging Ursa Major. Waking up as a pegasus with her crying sister wrapping her forelegs around her had shocked and angered her. Yet a quick, tactical assessment told her that, no matter her skill in battle, she could never take on the six heroes of Equestria with only wings and four hooves. Instead, she’d had but a single question, but one deadly as any weapon.
“Why, Twilight Sparkle? Were we not friends?”
Twilight stood taller now. Not as tall as Cadence, perhaps, but taller. The power of three alicorns was hers. She smiled at them. “For friendship!” she declared, “I’ll do what you two never could. I’ll make Equestria happy and safe. Everypony will be friends and nopony will live in fear of Changelings or demon lords or wicked beasts ever again.”
“One pony cannot solve the world’s problems,” Luna retorted.
“Of course not!” Twilight agreed, “And that was Celestia’s mistake. But I have my friends. And as you told me, Celestia, or should I say, "Sunny Skies", I can do anything with my friends. So! We’re going to fix the world.” She raised a hoof dramatically. “I hereby declare myself Queen, no, Empress Twilight Sparkle of Equestria!”
Pinkie Pie bounced forward. “Girls, you know what this means!”
“A par--” Rainbow Dash began.
“A PARTY!” Pinkie bounced around the room. “I’ve never done an empress’ coronation party before! Oh, we’re going to need lots of streamers and music and cake! We can have chocolate, since it’s Cel-- Sunny’s, favorite! And cupcakes and balloons and games and… Oooh! We can have Vinyl and Octavia do live music! This is going to be the best party ever! I better get started on the preparations.”
Sunny Skies shook herself free from the memory as the door opened. In strode Twilight, humming softly to herself and levitating a huge stack of books from the library. She stopped and raised an eyebrow. Sunny slipped down from the throne and took her accustomed seat beside it, a slight blush on her cheeks. “Reliving old memories,” she half-lied.
Twilight nodded and set the books down on the opposite side of the throne. “There’s no need to be shy about it, Sunny,” she said, “I know how hard this must be for you.”
For her student’s sake, Sunny tried to smile. “Thank you, Twilight. You are too kind.”
Twilight beamed. The hollowness below Sunny’s heart grew. She knew that smile. It was the same one she’d seen when Twilight had mastered her first spell-craft lessons and basked in her mentor’s praise. It was the one from bedtime stories and pillow forts. From birthday cakes and late night hot chocolate.
“You’ve picked up a few more books than normal today,” Sunny observed.
“Yep,” Twilight agreed, “And I’m going to have them all read by the end of the day.” She extended a forehoof as the first levitated in front of her face. “I declare the Court of Harmony open!” The guards dutifully stepped forward and pulled the giant doors apart. A small crowd of ponies waited outside. Not as many as had come to Celestia’s court but more than Luna’s. Twilight leaned down. “You’ll stay here, won’t you? I may be Empress now, but I do value your opinion.”
“Of course, my most faithful…” Sunny cut herself off. “Empress.”
Twilight frowned for a second. “Thank you,” she whispered and straightened to greet her first petitioner. Of course, the greeting was stunted by the book firmly held in front of the young empress’ face, but if the noble stallion visitor minded, he didn’t voice it. No one would dare.
He bowed low. “Empress Sparkle.”
“Oh please.” Twilight waved a hoof at him but didn’t look up from her book. “Call me Empress Twilight.”
“Empress Twilight,” the noble amended smoothly. He absently fixed a stray strand of mane. “I come before you today with a matter of grave importance.” Sunny let out a soft sigh. The nobles tended to talk like that whenever they wanted to seem superior or more important than they were. “It has come to the attention of the Forthwright family that certain liberties are being taken with the long-standing and traditional…”
“Long-standing implies traditional,” Twilight interrupted, “Tradition comes directly from the language of the old Romare Empire. In its strictest definition, it means “things passed down”. Like the Apple family’s reunion and the way Sweet Apple Acres is run. So if it’s long-standing, that implies it’s been passed down. Hence, traditional.” Twilight giggled. “I read all about it last night. It’s fascinating how much of our language was derived from old words.”
The noble stallion cleared his throat. He was in no mood to sit through one of the Empress’ lectures. “With the traditional rights of the nobility, then. Forgive my lapse.”
“I’m not sure lapse is exactly the word you should…”
“Traditionally,” the stallion pressed on. A few nervous glances went Twilight’s way, studying her to see if the interruption would call down her wrath. It did not. Instead, she pulled out an enormous tome labeled, Philology of the Modern Equestrian and leafed through it, muttering to herself and giggling. “The noble houses of Equestria gain their prestige from ties to its ruler. The Forthwright family itself traces its lineage back to Sir Forthwright, a noble knight of the post-Nightmare era and consort to…” He faltered. “To Princess Celestia.”
Sunny remembered Sir Forthwright. He had been in her service a hundred years after Luna’s banishment. He’d been a cheerful and noble unicorn with a heart for children. Yet due to a curse laid upon him by his old rival, Black Spot the Enchanter, he could never have any of his own. Well, that would have been the case were it not for the combined power and expertise of the Princess and the truly great and powerful Starswirl the bearded. But in the process, which was surprisingly long and arduous, the bereaved princess and starry-eyed knight had fallen for one another. He reminded her of another unicorn, perhaps, one trapped behind an impassable mirror. But she pushed such thoughts from her mind.
Twilight slowly lowered the book and, for the first time in anyone’s memory, met the gaze of one of her petitioners. “Duke Forthwright,” she said, “Why don’t you come out and say whatever it is you intend to say?”
The stallion nodded. “Simply this. You, Empress, are new to the throne and have many adversaries in the shadows. It would be to your benefit to make ties with certain powerful noble houses, ones that would solidify your reign.” He straightened. “And my younger brother is of a similar age to you, your majesty, if I may be so bold.”
Ah yes. Pride. Nobles always had that in spades. Sunny hoped the stallion would survive this encounter.
The book levitated over and set itself down on a nearby stack. Twilight hopped down from the throne and strode toward the noble who, for the first time, began to show signs of discomfort and nervousness. She circled him, studying his bearing, his clothes, and the style of his mane. She came around to his front and smiled at him. He gulped.
“Duke Forthwright,” she said, “According to the rules of etiquette and all legal precedent dating back eight centuries, it would be improper of me to accept such a proposition. There are enough problems with it for a list reaching from here to the door, but let me give you just a taste. For one, I’m the ruler of Equestria, which means I must consider every action carefully. To favor one noble house in such a way would upset the balance between them. Also, such a suit should be made by the pony seeking my hoof in matrimony and not by his brother. I suggest you read the legal codes and Right Attitude’s Handbook on Courtly Manners before returning. That will be all.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but one look at the Empress’ eyes told him he would get nowhere. Better to cut losses and leave than press forward and make a total idiot of himself. “Er, quite right. My apologies.” The stallion bowed and left the room. Twilight resumed her throne.
“Of course,” she muttered so that only Sunny could hear, “I could always accept a proposal from every noble house. Make them the palace servants. That would satisfy them all.” She took up her books again and gestured for the next pony to approach her.
Twilight moved through books and petitioners at a steady, measured rate. Sunny, despite everything, grew bored. Her advice was never asked, despite Twilight’s assurance that she wanted the pegasus mare by her side. No, and it didn’t seem needed much either. Twilight knew exactly what sort of judgments she wanted to hand down and, thanks to her voracious appetite for literature, knew the Equestrian legal code better than Sunny ever had. And the new laws she’d introduced during her time as Empress were carefully constructed to fit in with the old. A thought, one Sunny didn’t like but that had plagued her more and more recently, popped into her mind. What if Twilight had been right? What if she had been the wrong pony to rule Equestria?
She steeled her nerves. Well, there was one thing she could advise her former student on. And if her advice wasn’t asked, she was going to volunteer it.
“Twilight,” she said at the next convenient lull, “It might be best if you put the books down while you hold your court.”
Twilight didn't even look up. “Oh there’s no need. I can focus on both at once.”
“Be that as it may,” Sunny said, “Your current method makes ponies feel unimportant. Like you don’t value them. Giving them your full attention has the opposite effect. It’s a way to show love to strangers.” She paused. “It’s how I always ruled.”
Twilight picked up another book. “Yes, and it worked very well for you. But I am not you. I’m better.”
That statement stunned Sunny. “B-better? What do you…?”
Twilight giggled. “I’m smarter, more powerful, I have the best friends in all Equestria, and…” She playfully tapped Sunny between the eyes. “I beat you, silly. Me and five mares from Ponyville. Ponyville! A little earth-pony farming town that no one in Canterlot cared about.”
One thing Sunny disliked very much about the loss of her divinity was the loss of control. Her emotions ran away without her sometimes. They no longer listened as they once had. So it was to no avail that she fought the rising tears in her eyes. She glanced out and saw the assembled court staring at her, pity or other, unreadable emotions on their faces. Her ears drooped and wings wilted. She bit her lip, hoping the pain would shock the tears away. It did not, even when she drew blood. All her composure, built up with centuries of practice, deserted her.
“If you’ll excuse me, Empress,” she managed to choke out before fleeing for the exit. The crowd parted. She put her head down and tried to hide her face with her mane and preserve what shreds of her old, regal image were left in their minds.
“Sunny. Sunny Skies! Sunny, wait!” Twilight called, but the pegasus did not stop. She ran and ran until she found one of her favorite spots in the whole castle: the kitchens.
“P-princess!” the cook on duty stammered. For once, Sunny didn’t bother to correct her. She gulped when she saw the tears and looked around for anything to offer her. “Can I get you some cake?”
“That would be lovely,” Sunny said quietly.
She ended up taking the whole cake at the cook’s insistence. The mare assured that she was perfectly capable of cooking another and not about to let the pony who’d taken her off the streets and given her the job of her dreams cry. Not if she could help it. The sheer earnestness and honesty of it brought a smile and choked laugh back to Sunny’s face. She ate the rest of the cake in her room. Then she got sick. Not for the first time and certainly not the last, she missed her divinity.
Hours later, when the moon was just rising, a knock came at the door. It opened without waiting for a response and Twilight trotted in, another book levitating in front of her face. She set it down and smiled warmly at Sunny. “Good evening! I noticed you were feeling a little sad earlier,” she blurted out, straight to the point.
“I’m alright, Twilight.”
“You left in the middle of court, Sunny.” Twilight plopped down on Sunny’s bed. “That doesn’t exactly sound alright to me.”
Sunny looked down. “Please, my most faithful student, please. I know that you are Empress. I accept that. And I still love you, just as I love Luna. Nothing could ever change that. But please, let me be.”
Twilight frowned. “Alright. I’ll leave then.”
“No,” Sunny grabbed her hoof. “That’s not what I meant. Twilight, I want nothing more than to see Equestria succeed. I want your reign, my reign, whoever is on the throne, to succeed. And I will do anything in my power to make sure that you're the best ruler a pony could ask for. But please, let me alone. Do not make fun of my humbled state. Do not mock me. Do not put me down. Do not use me as a crutch to prop yourself up.”
“I was trying to make a joke.” Twilight rubbed her mane ruefully.
“You made me into a joke.”
A sigh, a heavy, weary sigh, escaped the Empress’ lips. “I suppose I did.”
Sunny looked up in surprise. It was the first sign of regret, regret for anything, she’d heard in a long time. For a moment they were silent. Then, Sunny turned away. She felt warm, strong hooves wrap around her body and hold her close.
“I’m sorry, Sunny. I know this has been hard.”
She thought for a moment she’d cry, but no tears came.
“I haven’t been feeling myself,” Twilight said.
Sunny, despite herself, nestled back into the warm hug. “How so, my little pony?”
“I think…” Twilight took a deep breath. Sunny could feel her chest expand against her back. “I think I’m feeling what you must have felt when you looked at me. Everything is...well, it’s so silly, isn’t it? All the petty disagreements that ruin friendships. That drive couples apart. That make ponies live in fear of each other. You just want to reach out and take them all under your wing or share a cup of tea and a slice of cake. Because when it comes down to it, they are all so. Very. Cute.” Twilight nuzzled Sunny’s mane. “And you’re the cutest of them all.”
“Twilight?” Fear was an emotion becoming all-too well-known.
“I always was fascinated by wings,” Twilight muttered, “You used to wrap me up in yours and hold me close. And then I met Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Dash gets so angry when you call her cute. Her cheeks flush and her mane flares out. But her wings tremble. And Fluttershy just beams.” She pulled Sunny a little tighter. “My friends are the best in Equestria. Are you still my friend, Sunny?”
Sunny felt a shiver travel up her spine. “Twilight,” she said breathlessly. Old, forgotten memories came to mind. Memories of being held in her mother’s grip. Memories of bouncing on her father’s back. Of Luna, bright-eyed and newly born. Of the last, few times she’d ever been wrapped in a loving embrace stronger than her own. An embrace which carried her off to bed and tucked her in like she were a foal. “Yes Twilight, I am your friend. I have been and always will be.”
“I haven’t been a very good one.” Twilight sighed. “Princess of Friendship and I was horrible to you. I was so afraid you’d say no or do something. It’s like...like I was facing one of your tests and got so afraid I might fail that I over-prepared. I didn’t even try to convince you. I simply acted. I did what had to be done, but I should at least have asked first.”
“You conquered me,” Sunny said, “And I have no power to resist you. What can wings do against magic?”
Twilight chuckled. “I will admit, I debated carefully about what race to turn you into. I knew it couldn’t be unicorn. You’d be very powerful, even then. But earth ponies are strong. And...well, if I was going to take magic away, I didn’t want to take your wings too.”
A moment of silence passed between them. Sunny felt heat rising in her cheeks. “Twilight,” she said with hesitation, “May I ask you a question?”
“Of course!” Twilight released her.
“Before you conquered me,” Sunny said, “You mentioned a stallion. Con Mane.”
“Yes.”
“What did he do or try to do?”
Twilight chuckled. “He tried the same thing Discord did. Turn us opposite of ourselves so we’d destroy each other. Except he wasn’t Discord and we’ve become much more powerful than when we fought him. We don’t need the Elements of Harmony. We pretty much are them at this point.” She patted Sunny’s wing and headed for the door. “Sleep now, Sunny. There’s plenty of work to be done in the morning. And if you don’t want to come to court, I can make a list of other stuff that needs doing for you. How’s that sound?”
“I believe that would be best. At least for the next couple of days,” Sunny agreed. Twilight turned to go. “Twilight.”
“Hmm?”
“Nevermind. Goodnight, Empress.”
Twilight watched her climb into bed and wrap the sheets around her body with a soft smile. The smile slowly faded. A mirror lay in the corner of Sunny’s room and the empress felt her eyes drawn towards it. Her ears drooped, her eyes clouded, and her wings draped listlessly across her back. She let out a heavy sigh. “Goodnight, Princess Celestia.”
An electric shock soared up Sunny’s spine. She rolled over, eyes wide. “T-Twilight?” Her former student tore her eyes away from the mirror. The smile returned, though this time it was nervous.
“I think it’s best you go to sleep now.” Twilight’s horn glowed. “Goodnight!” A moment later, Sunny fell back against her pillow and knew no more. Twilight let out a relieved sigh. “Goodnight, Sunny Skies.”
The next morning, a decree went out from the Empress that all mirrors were to be removed from the palace.
“Everypony please. Calm down.” Starlight Glimmer stood on the steps of the Castle of Friendship. The doors stood open behind her in case she needed to beat a hasty retreat. Still, she was confident she could resolve this situation. This was Ponyville after all, the best little town in all of Equestria. These were her friends. They would listen to her, right? “I can’t understand you when you’re all shouting at once.”
The angry shouts and clamor did not die down. Starlight sighed and turned to the blue mare beside her. She lifted an eyebrow and tilted her head toward the crowd. The mare smirked with a look that said, “watch and learn.”
She stepped to the fore and took a deep breath. “The Great and Powerful Trixie demands you be QUIET!” The force of her voice rolled out across the town square and overcame the lesser voices which sought to resist it. Despite themselves, the residents of Ponyville quieted down. Starlight let out a relieved sigh and smiled at Trixie. A smirk rested on the blue mare’s face. She bowed. “The Great and Powerful Trixie respectfully yields the stage to Starlight Glimmer.”
“Thank you.” Starlight looked out over the crowd assembled before her and gave them her best, friendliest smile. “Well, everypony, what seems to be the trouble?”
“Twilight’s the trouble, that’s what!” a voice called from the back. The crowd murmured and threatened to burst back into an angry chorus, but a glare from Trixie quieted them again.
Starlight felt a drop of sweat drip down the back of her neck. “If you have a problem with the current state of affairs, you really should take it up with Twi-- Empress Twilight herself. I don’t make the rules.”
“Yeah,” Lyra stepped forward, “But you’re her apprentice. You have her ear.”
“Was her apprentice,” Starlight said, “That kind of fell by the wayside when she became Empress of Equestria.”
“But you can tell her what’s wrong,” Bon-Bon countered, “She’ll listen to you.”
Starlight opened her mouth to protest, but shut it again. “Okay. Very well. I’ll do it. Whatever you want to say, I’ll be sure to send it along.” The assembled ponies blinked and smiled, pleased by their plan’s success. “What should I tell her then?”
The wave of sound and voices crashed over her like a avalanche descending from the tallest mountain. Not even Trixie could quell it this time. Starlight glanced back at the inviting palace right behind her and longingly imagined shutting the door and locking all of her problems outside. But then, Filthy Rich stepped to the fore and turned to the other residents with an almost fatherly smile.
“Hold on there, everypony,” he said and his deep, resonant voice pulled them all up short. No wonder he was such a good salespony, Starlight reflected. “Why don’t we do this orderly-like? Let’s form a line and have everypony step forward and tell Ms. Starlight here exactly what’s on their mind.” A soft muttering rose from the crowd, but they seemed to find the idea agreeable. “That being said, I’ll go first.” The stallion rounded on Starlight, eyes narrow. “Now what’s this I hear about me and my family being labeled “Enemies of Harmony”?”
Starlight felt her grin straining and cracking under pressure. “Empress Twilight has been compiling a list of those she feels are a threat to the stability of Equestria and good-will between ponies.” There was a pause. Filthy Rich’s look grew downright hostile. “It’s a personal list,” Starlight quickly added, “I have no control over it.”
“Slander!” the stallion proclaimed, disgust in his voice, “I won’t stand for this. None of us will.”
“Well,” a filly’s voice piped up, “Diamond Tiara doesn’t have goodwill towards anypony.”
This set off a riotous debate or “vigorous discussion” between the residents of Ponyville between those who thought the filly made a good point and those who maintained that the idea of putting citizens on lists and publicly shaming them was a horrible idea.
Starlight decided she’d had enough. “Everypony! Listen up!” The “discussion” died down to a dull roar. “I have had a very long day and I am going to bed. I will be leaving several reams of paper and a pen by the palace door along with a collection box. Please leave your complaints, concerns, and rude comments in that box where I will collect them at noon tomorrow! That will be all. Goodnight.”
She turned sharply. “Trixie, would you be so kind as to fetch a table and a box? I’ll get the paper and pen.”
“Trixie is at your service.”
“Thank you. At least somepony is.”
Starlight almost made it. She was almost inside when she felt a hoof tap her on the shoulder. Irritated, she whirled. “What?”
Two fillies recoiled. Rarity and Applejack’s little sisters. Starlight reined in her anger. “S-sorry, Ms. Starlight.” Sweetie Belle scuffed a hoof against the floor.
Starlight took a deep breath. “No, no, it’s fine. Everything’s fine.” She shook her head. “How can I help you girls?”
“We was just wonderin’,” Apple Bloom began, “Well, Applejack’s been gone a real long time now. Longer than she ever has.”
“So has Rarity,” Sweetie Belle added.
“An’, well, we reckon y'all might know the answer.”
“When will our sisters be home?” They looked up at her with eyes half-hopeful, half-scared.
Starlight sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t know much of anything anymore.” With that, she turned and closed the door behind her.
From the other side of the square, two sets of eyes watched them. There was no malice in their gaze, but infinite compassion in one and thoughtful reflection in the other. “Doc?” the first said.
“Yes, Miss Hooves?”
“I just don’t know why everything’s gone wrong.” Tears welled in the crooked eyes of Derpy Hooves. “I’d never leave Dinky or Sparkler. Never! Why do those two have to be left behind when they have sisters who love them?” A horrible thought occurred to her and her eyes went wide. “They do still love them, right?”
Whooves regarded her with solemn eyes. “The world is not always what we wish, Miss Hooves. It is only what we, its inhabitants, make of it. If things go wrong, we have no one but ourselves to blame.”
Derpy looked down and sniffed. A muffin found its way into her mouth and she slowly chewed it, for once finding no relish in the act. “Did we do something wrong then?” she asked, “Did I mess up again? If...if I’d given Twilight my last muffin that one day, would she have not gone to Canterlot?”
Whooves closed his eyes and sighed. “Once, a long time ago, Equestria and the Crystal Empire went to war. During that time, there lived a pony named Past Protest. He was a cleric of sorts and lived in the Crystal Empire. After the war was over, he wandered the land, healing and helping any creature he found. He spent the rest of his life doing more good in a day than most do in a year. And yet when asked if he was proud of his work, his face fell. It was penance, he said, for sins of the past. Of course, they asked him what sins he possibly could have done. He never explained fully, but his answer has been passed down for generations.”
“First they came for the Equalists, and I did not speak out because I was not a Equalist. Then they came for the Dissenters, and I did not speak out because I was not a Dissenter. Then they came for the young, the old, and the crippled, the sick, the diseased, and unwanted, and I did not speak out, because I was not a one of them.”
“Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”
He gestured to the scene before them. “This is how it begins, Miss Hooves. Evil always starts small. A list here. A label there. Whenever a pony tells you that someone is your enemy, you should always take a hard look before agreeing. And even if you do, never think in terms of “us versus them”. Not even if the Princess of Friendship tells you to.”
Derpy shivered. “I don’t want to do nothing.”
Whooves smiled. “Fantastic. Because neither do I and, frankly, I think that taking on a god could get quite lonely at times.” He hopped to his feet and offered her a hoof. “Shall we, Miss Hooves?”
She stared at it, then at him. “You mean right now?”
“Yes.”
“But do we have a plan?”
“Not a one!” Whooves giggled. “Exciting, isn’t it?”
“Don’t you need a plan for these sorts of things?”
“Not if you think quick on your hooves.” He put a fore-hoof to his chest. "But never fear! I am a doctor, after all."
Derpy gave a small smile and took his hoof. Gently. She’d had too many accidents from being too eager. Ponies had landed in the hospital from it. “Lead the way,” she whispered. You had to whisper when you were in a conspiracy, right?
They burst into Dr. Whooves’ lab. Earth pony technology lay everywhere, most of it half-disassembled. “The Doctor”, as the ponies of Ponyville jokingly called him, always had some project or the other going on. It only lasted as long as his enthusiasm, which left many still on the drawing board or collecting dust in the corner. “I’ve been working more on that time-travel business,” Whooves said as he swept the table clean of blueprints and spare parts, “Haven’t made any progress on that front. Actually, I discovered how to manipulate space instead. Now if I can just find the key to that dratted thing.”
Derpy looked around in awe. The workshop always amazed her. Everything was so shiny and sparkly. “Ah-ha!” Whooves held up a hoof triumphantly, “Behold!”
She stared at the object held in his grip. It wasn’t very shiny, except for that glowing button on the handle. It took her a moment to place exactly what it was, since she hadn’t been allowed near construction tools for a very long time. “Doc? That’s a screwdriver.”
“Yes!”
“With a blue light-bulb stuck on the end.”
Whooves beamed. “And who would ever expect a screwdriver to be a key! See, I insert it into a very special door which has a lock set to the resonance frequency of this particular screwdriver and it pops open. No other screwdriver will work, it has to be this one. The blue light is so that I can tell it apart from the others.”
“Resonance frequency?” Derpy was accustomed to not understanding what Dr. Whooves was talking about.
“It’s a, er, how to put it? It’s a key to a sonic lock. A sonic screwdriver, if you will.”
“Oh.” Derpy smiled. She still had no idea what that meant, but it sounded important. “How does it work?”
“I just...I literally just…” Dr. Whooves sighed. “Nevermind. It’s not important.”
“Okay!”
“Onwards then.” He turned and led her to the back of the workshop. “The door it opens is back here. See, when they abolished the local police force, they didn’t have any need for the old police call boxes. Not that the things were much use anyway since you couldn’t exactly hide in them until the guard came with a rampaging Timber Wolf outside, but that is neither here nor there. The important thing is that I managed to secure one.”
Their destination was a squat, blue box with a door on it. Whooves inserted the screwdriver with his mouth and twisted it. The box hummed for a moment and popped open. He stepped aside and bowed. “After you.”
Derpy frowned and pushed the door aside. Then she gasped. “It’s bigger on the inside!”
Dr. Whooves chuckled. “That’s what I said! Fascinating, isn’t it?” He tapped the bare metal floor. “A bit bare right now. Just an empty room, save for that little button panel to your left. But if I can get it to be larger and finally nail down that time travel bit, I just might have the beginnings of something fantastic.” He sighed. “But as incredible as this is, it’s not going to be enough. It might give us a nice spot to plan, but it doesn’t help us against Empress Twilight.”
A determined expression came over Derpy’s face. “I might know a pony who can help.”
“Is she capable?”
“Oh yes!” Derpy nodded a few more times than was strictly necessary. “And if anypony knows how to beat impossible odds, it’s her.”
///////
Daring Do was not scared. Not one bit. She was a professional. Sure, she may be hogtied with a sprained wing and a whole tribe of primitive earth ponies dressed in war regalia dancing around her, but she’d been in tighter spots. Of course, she’d seen better temples too. As ancient, stone edifices went, the interior here didn’t have nearly enough murals or statues. Also a bit light on the death-traps. But the carvings on the altar were exquisite. Some real talent went into making them. And that sacrificial dagger! That alone would make this whole ordeal worth it.
She looked up at the visage looming over her. An winged pony with one eye on the heavens and one on the earth. Probably a symbol of some religious significance. Master of two worlds or something like that. Eternal vigilance. Really, who knew? That lay in equinology.
The chanting grew to a fever pitch. Daring cast her eyes about for an opportunity. This was fine. There was always a way out. Always. There had to be. The priest took up the dagger. Okay, that escape route better hurry it up here. Now he was sharpening it… Anytime now. Come on, come on. She began to fidget uncomfortably. The savage leered at her. The dagger was raised high. Sweet Celestia! That thing was wicked sharp! Okay, okay, calm down. Calm down. Nope, panic. Now was an excellent time to panic.
An unholy flash of light blasted her right eye accompanied by a loud pop. She slammed it shut and squirmed away. Then, she heard a voice speak in good, honest Equestrian. “Wait...where’d the workshop go?”
“I told you. This device manipulates space. We step inside, we pull a few levers, and voila! The door opens to a different spot.” The speaker sighed. “Time, though. Time is difficult.”
Daring blinked the spots from her eyes and took stock. First, there was not a dagger lodged in her ribs or other places. That made this day a hundred times better already. Score one for the good guys. Second, one of those old, tacky, police call boxes sat right next to her. She was fairly certain it had not been there before. She tended to have an eye for the details. And three, Ditzy Doo stood right over her.
“Ditzy!” she called, “What the hay? Where did you come from?”
“The box!” the other pegasus replied with a smile.
Somehow, that explanation made the most sense. About as much as she expected it to anyway.
Daring glanced around. The natives stood in awe. One pointed to Derpy and shouted something in their strange tongue. As one, they fell to their faces and began to chant. A brown earth pony poked his head out the door and looked around. “Fascinating,” he said.
“You know, I’m not above taking a little help,” Daring called.
“Oh! We actually need your help,” Ditzy replied, “Twilight Sparkle’s taken over Equestria and everything’s wrong. So we’re starting a rebellion.”
"Bit premature to call it a full-fledged rebellion, but yes that is what we are doing," the stallion said.
There were at least ten things wrong with that statement. Firstly, they were asking a pony who was tied up on a sacrificial altar to help them, not vice versa. Daring Do said the only sensible thing she could think of in response. “What?”
“And there’s nopony who can face impossible odds and defeat them like you. So we need you to join.”
“Again, what?” Daring asked. When the first time failed, try again. That tactic had only failed her a few times in her life.
“So we jumped in Doc’s magic box…”
“It’s not magic. It’s science! Technomancy at worst.”
“And since you mentioned in your last letter that you were headed to this area, and since you always wind up in the center of the nearby temple somehow, we popped right on over!”
Daring’s head spun. “Let me repeat myself one more time. What?”
One of the natives rose to his feet and said something suspiciously like a question. The earth pony nudged Ditzy. “Ms. Hooves, quick, act like a goddess.”
Ditzy’s crooked eyes went wide. “What?”
“Hey! I said that first!” Daring protested.
“The natives appear to have mistaken you for their goddess,” the stallion explained. He pointed to the statue for emphasis. “It would behoove you to act the part.”
Ditzy looked around and gulped. She raised a hoof and the natives cowered. “H-Hi everypony! My name is Derpy Hooves and I’ll be your goddess for this evening. Um…” She backed into a pillar, a pillar which just so happened to be crumbling from years of erosion. It collapsed right behind her. With a squeal, she launched herself forward and slammed face-first into the idol. A long crack made its way up the statue towards the head. “Oops.”
Daring threw herself sideways and kicked the flabbergasted priest off the altar’s raised pedestal. That beautiful dagger fell from his grip and landed right near her mouth. With an expert twist, she snagged it and sliced the ropes from her legs. “I think we’ve worn out our welcome!” she called to her two unexpected companions. Years of practice had taught her how to talk even while holding a torch, a rope, or even a ceremonial dagger. “Let’s scram.”
She seized Ditzy, who let out a surprised squeak, and dragged her into the box. Her mouth dropped and the dagger fell from it. “It’s...it’s bigger on the inside!”
The stallion laughed. “Why do I get the feeling I’m going to hear that a lot?” He slammed the door shut and pulled a lever. The world took two steps to the left. “And we’re home!” Humming to himself, he pushed the door open and trotted into what had to be the messiest workshop Daring Do had ever seen. Ditzy scrambled to her feet and followed him. She turned back to Daring and smiled.
“You coming, Daring?”
“Y-yeah. One sec.” She rubbed her mane. “Hey Ditzy…”
“Derpy, actually. Derpy Hooves.” Ditzy giggled. “I changed my name, just like you did, “Miss Yearling”.”
“I didn’t do that for fun! I did that so I wouldn’t be hounded by…” Daring rubbed her face with a hoof. “Nevermind, “Derpy”. So where are we right now?”
“Ponyville, of course!”
That about did it for Daring’s already tenuous grip on reality. She took a deep breath. Alright, Daring, you’re the world’s greatest adventurer. You can handle this. Weird box that transports you hundreds of miles, no big deal. Ditzy is now calling herself Derpy. Bigger deal. And hanging out with a stallion. A stallion who built the crazy box. That right there was a little much. And there was also that last little thing…
“What do you mean Twilight Sparkle has taken over Equestria?”
Every Saturday, Rainbow Dash visited Ponyville. The others claimed they had duties or were too busy and sent letters saying they would visit some other time. They all had good reasons for it too. Applejack had her hands full getting the Equestrian news to stop reporting sensationalist horse dung and tell nothing but the cold, hard truth. Her talent for rooting out lies made her ideal, but also meant her schedule was always tied up. However, bits and hired hands flowed into the farm like never before. In terms of money, she more than made up for her absence. In other ways, though, she was more missed than ever.
The others had similar duties. Twilight, of course, had a nation to run. Rarity kept the nobles at bay and redesigned the castle for its new occupant. Pinkie Pie ran a twenty-four hour a day campaign promoting Twilight Sparkle’s new imperium, throwing parties in all the major cities. Fluttershy was overseeing some project in the Everfree. And Rainbow Dash served as the new Captain of the Wonderbolts, leader of the Equestrian Air Force, and a host of other duties. All of them were busy, but Rainbow Dash never failed a friend. Or a sister.
Saturday was the day she gave Scootaloo flying lessons. Everypony knew she wouldn’t miss it for the world. And that’s just what the three rebels were counting on. They were holed up in Pinkie’s old room atop Sugarcube Corner, watching Scootaloo prance back and forth, humming happily to herself.
Doctor Whooves put down his binoculars. “Miss Daring?”
“Yeah Doc?” Daring Do leaned forward, eagerly noting every detail of the area. She wanted to be perfectly ready when the target showed up.
“I don’t mean to question your practical knowledge,” Whooves said in such a way that implied he meant to do exactly that, “But why are we trying to kidnap Rainbow Dash, the fastest pegasus alive?”
“Heh. Thought that was pretty obvious.” Daring smirked. “Six elements, right? Well, can’t very well use the orbital rainbow cannon if one of the pieces are missing, right? So, we’re taking one of Empress Sparkle’s pieces off the board.”
“No, no, I understand that perfectly well,” Whooves insisted, “But why Rainbow Dash? Wouldn’t Fluttershy prove a much more pliable and easy target?”
“Nah, we got this.” Daring scanned the skies. “Besides, this’ll be a cakewalk. I’ve got the perfect trap all set up. I’ll distract her, you two grab her. I’ve even got the perfect bait.”
“Oh?” The inventor leaned forward. “Do tell.”
With a flourish, Daring whipped out a hardcover novel with her picture plastered across the front. “An autographed, two-months-in-advance copy of my latest book, made out to my biggest fan and personal friend, Rainbow Dash.” She chuckled. “Yeah, this won’t be hard at all.”
Whooves nodded. “And you’re sure you can talk some sense into her? Again, I would think Fluttershy would be easier to convince than Miss Dash.”
“Oh yeah I’ll be able to win her over. Kid practically worships the ground I walk on.” Daring yanked the doctor down. “Here she comes. Hide.”
“Hey Scoots!” Rainbow Dash executed a perfect landing right in front of her little protege. “Ready to stretch those wings of yours?”
“You bet!” the filly replied. She bounded forward and wrapped Dash in a hug. The mare chuckled.
“Alright, alright. Enough mushy stuff already.” Dash pushed her away and grinned. “I got an idea so awesome, it’s sure to get you off the ground.”
Whooves leaned over to Daring. “Miss Do. Might I take this moment to remind you that not all of our conspiracy can fly? Even when Miss Hooves returns from “muffin hunting”, I don’t think the two of you would be a match for Miss Dash in the air.”
“The filly can’t fly, right?”
“Well, no. Not as such.”
Daring grinned. “Then there’s no problem. All we have to do is follow them and wait for the right opportunity.”
/////////
It was a good day.
Rainbow Dash relaxed by her favorite pond, a cool lemonade within easy reach. Sure, Scootaloo never got off the ground and, okay, the training idea wasn’t nearly as awesome as advertised, but it was still a good day. No responsibilites. No problems. No pressure. Just spending some time with her number-one-fan (and unofficial little sister) and stretching their wings. Scootaloo was an awesome filly. Even if her wings didn’t work quite right, Dash was sure that someday she’d figure out how to fly.
The only downer had been this eerie feeling of being watched. Bushes seemed to move. A tree somehow broke itself in half and shouted, “Oops!” The smell of muffins followed her wherever she went. If she hadn’t known better, she would have sworn Derpy was tailing her. But if that’d been true, Dash would have spotted her easy. Everypony knew Derpy couldn’t hide worth two bits.
Dash took a long slurp of lemonade and smiled. This was the life! And now, she could do this whenever she wanted. Just chillax and be awesome. She had everything she could ever want. She was a Wonderbolt. She had ponies who adored her. She had her friends. And thanks to Twilight, Equestria would be safe. Who’d challenge a pony who’s practically a goddess?
She looked up at the sky above and the setting sun. So warm. The sunlight embraced her wings, relaxed her mind, and lifted her spirits. She settled into her chair, leaned back, and let her eyes drift shut.
“How could you betray me, Rainbow Dash?”
Dash leapt to her hooves. “Who’s there? Show yourself!”
“I’m here.”
Dash turned and wished she hadn’t. Anger incarnate, the full-fury of the sun beating down on a weary, desert traveler, faced her with blazing mane and fiery tail. Her eyes were blinding to look at and the gold armor she wore melted and remolded itself constantly. The setting sun blazed behind her, the dying embers of the day beaten to new life. Dash took a step back. “P-Princess Celestia?”
“You are the Element of Loyalty.” The worst thing about her voice was how quiet it was. She’d always spoken so softly, with grace and kindness. Rainbow Dash had never been on the receiving end of her anger and it made her tremble like a filly during her first lightning storm. “You of them all should have stayed by my side.” Her mane flared. “Traitor, I name you. And false friend.”
“Twilight said--”
“I do not care what lies Twilight Sparkle fed you. It’s your own heart and conscience that should have been your guide.” The flames grew darker, smokier, and sinister. The smell of brimstone filled the air. “But since you are so loyal to Twilight, then you can burn in Tartarus with her. Forever.”
Rainbow Dash woke screaming. She fell right off her lawn-chair and landed on the sandy beach. The last of the sun’s rays bounced playfully on the water. Dash waited for her heart to stop hammering before she rose.
“Rainbow Dash. Hey Rainbow Dash!”
She knew that voice. “Daring Do?” A grin split her face in half. “Where are you?”
“Over here.”
Dash scanned the area and saw her other hero waving her over from the inside of a nearby shed. With a cackle of delight, she took off and skidded to a halt right in front of her. “Daring! What’s up? Why’re you in Ponyville? Were you looking for me? You totally were, weren’t you? How can I help? Is there treasure? Are you hiding from somepony? Are we going on an adventure?”
“No treasure this time,” Daring chuckled, “But it’ll be an adventure alright.” Her whip lashed out and wrapped around Dash’s body. It bound her wings to her sides. With a yank, she pulled Dash close until their faces were inches apart. The adventurer wore a daredevil grin. “I’ll just be taking you along with me now, alright?”
“Uh.” Dash’s mind refused to work. Did Daring Do read the fanfiction about her because this was exactly how Curse of the Amazon Queen started. Heat rushed to her cheeks and her wings. They tried to flare out, but the whip held them tight. “This is not how I thought this would go but I am still okay with it.”
Daring patted her on the head. “Be a good little pegasus and come quietly. If I’m happy with you, I’ve got this little thing waiting for you at the end.” She reached into her saddlebags and brought out the bait. Dash gasped.
“Is that…?”
“The new Daring Do book? You bet.” The mare dangled it right before Dash’s eyes. “Signed and autographed for my biggest fan.”
Dash felt her mind explode. “I am being kidnapped by Daring Do!” she cried with a huge smile on her face, “And I’ve never been happier!” She splayed her forehooves out like a dog asking to play. “Should I resist? Put up a fight? Would that make it feel more realistic? Or did you have something else in mind? We could race and I could let you catch me. We could do whatever you want.” She let out a high-pitched squeal of delight. “This is the best day ever!”
A hint of confusion crossed Daring’s face. “Uh, no. No, it’s fine if you don’t resist. Makes the whole kidnapping bit easier. Buuuut we do have to knock you out so you don’t see where we’re going.”
“Okay. Sounds cool. Makes sense and all.” Dash blinked. “Wait…”
An explosion of stars and white filled her vision and she fell to the ground. “What the hay?”
“Ditzy!” Daring snapped.
“It’s “Derpy”.”
“You’re supposed to knock her out, not just hit her on the head!”
“Whoops.” Dash’s head exploded in pain again as another blow came down right on her back. “Uh, third time’s the charm?” This time, Dash felt consciousness slipping away.
When she woke up, she was hogtied with her wings pinned to her sides in a very uncomfortable way. Daring Do stood over her, admiring her handiwork. Dash looked around. “Is this somepony’s basement?”
“No, of course not.” Daring Do glanced around at the boxes and shelves of stored goods and Hearth's Warming Eve decorations. “What would give you that idea?”
Dash fixed Daring with a silent look of judgment. She glanced to her right at a box that read “Dinky’s Nightmare Night costumes!” A muffin-shaped hat poked out the top. “We’re in Derpy’s basement, aren’t we?”
Daring picked up the nearest thing she could find and hit Dash over the head with it. The bearer of loyalty fell limp to the ground once more.
She woke up to a cold splash of water and even colder floor. She spluttered and coughed. Once again, Daring Do stood over her. “No. No we are not in Derpy’s basement,” the adventurer stated, “An abandoned warehouse. Not a basement.”
Dash blinked blearily at her. “Ya got any Ibex-profen? Because my head’s starting to hurt.”
“Good. That’ll make things easier,” Daring countered. She plopped down in front of Dash. “Here’s how this is going to work. This is an interrogation. I ask the questions. You give me an answer. One question, one answer. I don’t like the answer, I call a friend. And you wouldn’t like my friend.”
Dash blinked. A grin slowly stretched over her face. “Oooh. Okay. We’re finally starting.” She wriggled a little bit, flexing against the bonds. They held firm. “Um, let’s see. How does this sound?” She cleared her throat. “You’ll never make me talk, Daring Do! My will is iron and my body is steel! I can resist whatever tricks you try and pull on me.”
Daring Do frowned. “Dash, this is an interrogation.”
“Sure is.”
“A real interrogation.”
Dash chuckled. “Right. I getcha.”
“I kidnapped you.”
“Yep.”
“Knocked you out.”
“Uh-huh. So about that Ibex-profen.”
“You’re way too happy right now.”
“Well duh!” Dash’s eyes sparkled. “Out of all your fans, you chose me. And not gonna lie, I am pretty awesome. But you’re Daring Do! You redefine awesome and make it...awesomer!”
Daring rolled her eyes. “Fine. I can work with this. You were always a little weird.”
“Hey!”
“First question!” Daring silenced Dash with a glare and a crack of her whip. “Where is Princess Celestia?”
Now it was Dash’s turn to be confused. “I thought you were going to ask me where the Lost Gem of the Ghulmeister was or something like that. That seems more, what’s the word, appropriate? More Daring Do?”
“Why the hay would I ask you a thing like that?” Daring snapped. A thought crossed her mind. What if Rainbow Dash knew something she didn’t? What if that name wasn’t just something she pulled off the top of her head? Daring tried to adopt a casual attitude. “Unless, that is, you know where it is. In which case, I’d love to hear all about it from a purely professional standpoint, you understand. I mean, I know where it is, but I want to know if you know, you know? Not that I wouldn’t bring you along to retrieve it, of course.”
“I getcha,” Dash said, “The first question was a trick. Throw me off my guard. I’m supposed to be one of Caballeron minions, aren’t I? And you’re interrogating me, tied up and on my back, to learn what he knows.” She grinned. “And you’re going to “torture” me, right? That’s why you brought your whip.”
Daring Do’s eyes narrowed and she gave Dash a look of disbelief. “Why would you be working for Caballeron? You’re not, right?” Dash shook her head. “Then why would you think you’re supposed to be?”
“Because,” Dash said, “You kidnapped me for some reason, right?”
Daring rolled her eyes. “What, do you think this is some kind of roleplay adventure? The new and improved Daring Do Adventu-cation? What would the tagline even be? “Now you too can be a villain in a Daring Do novel for the low, low, low price of your dignity! Buy today”.” Huh. That didn’t sound half-bad, now that she thought of it.
It appeared that Dash agreed. Her eyes shimmered with excitement. “Oh my gosh, that would be so cool. Wait, it is cool, because it’s happening right now!”
Daring Do felt something snap. The past week had been too long. Too many things had tried to kill her. And then she comes home and everything is ruined. So she did the time-honored adventurer tradition when faced with an impossible problem: kinetic re-calibration. Her hooves found the most convenient thing and she lashed out at the problem with it.
Dash let out a yelp. “You hit me!”
“I did.”
“With your whip!”
“Yep.”
Dash stared at her for a long moment. Her wings strained against the ropes and she twisted to inspect her flank. “Could you do it again?”
Okay, this was getting to be a bit much. Daring took a step back. “Say what now?”
“Please?”
Daring Do had been many things in her life. Adventurer, author, part-time dance instructor (that was an episode she never wanted to revisit), and sometimes damsel-in-distress, but she’d always had a witty comeback. Always. It was something she prided herself on. Today was a rotten day in that regard.
“Oh Daring Do-oo,” Dash called, “I’ve been so bad. Done terrible things. Don’t you want to hit me with your whip? Beat me up? Bruise me? Don’t you? You can. You are very good at tying ropes and…” Dash’s form shook and she dissolved into laughter. “Oh you should see your face! Classic. I’ve never seen your cheeks turn so red and…and…” Dash blinked. “Uh, Daring? Your wings.”
“Okay, that’s enough!” Daring Do slammed her forehooves down on either side of Dash’s head and shove her muzzle right in Dash’ face. “Tell me why you took over Equestria!”
The room was silent. Dash’s mouth worked to form words, but nothing came. Daring Do’s eyes grew harder. “Talk to me, Dash. Give me something to work with here.”
“This isn’t...you actually…” Words were a good start, but Daring needed her to form coherent sentences. She slapped Dash across the face.
“Talk, Rainbow Dash!” Her anger reached her eyes and she had to force down the tears that threatened to appear there. “Why did you wreck my home? I liked it.”
“This is real, isn’t it?” Dash’s voice was quiet. “This isn’t some fan experience. You actually kidnapped me.”
“Give the genius a medal,” Daring growled.
“Why?” Panic began to fill Rainbow’s face. “I don’t want to be your enemy. You’re awesome. I’m awesome. Together we’re, uh, more awesome. Besides, your enemies are all jerks. I’m not a j…” The image of Sunny Skies’ tear-filled face flashed before her. “I’m only a jerk sometimes. When I need to be.” When Twilight tells me, she added to herself.
Daring Do leaned in close and studied Dash’s face. The blue pegasus shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny, but pasted a smile on her face anyway. “You can’t seriously be this dense. The answer is right in front of you.”
“I-I mean, I can guess,” Dash said, “The whole “taking away Celestia and Luna’s power” deal? That’s why you’re angry, right.” Daring Do stared at her. “But it’s totally cool.” Cold sweat ran down Dash’s neck. “Twilight’s gonna make things better for everypony. We’re gonna defeat Equestria’s enemies and save the world and stuff and then ponies won’t have to live in fear of Tirek of rogue changelings or anything ever again.” Daring’s expression did not change. Dash shifted nervously. “Look, Twilight explains it way better than I do. She’s got all that philosophy egghead stuff. You should talk to her. I’m sure she’d love to see you again.”
“And if ponies are afraid of Twilight?” Whooves stepped out from behind a pillar. “What then, Miss Dash?”
Dash frowned. “Why would anyone be afraid of Twilight? She’s the Princess of Friendship.”
Dash’s eyes narrowed. “What did you say?” Her lips curled into a sneer. Defiance flamed to life in her eyes. She strained against her bonds for real. “Untie me and say that again. I dare ya.”
“Like it or not,” Daring said, “That is an opinion many ponies hold.”
“Yeah? Well they’re wrong,” Dash snapped. She tossed her head and tried to gather as much dignity as possible, despite being tied up on her back with her hooves in the air. “I’m the Element of Loyalty. And anypony who insults my friends insults me. So think real hard before you badmouth Twilight. ‘Cause you’re going to have to deal with me!”
///////////////
“The hay was that!”
Daring Do, adventurer at large, paced back and forth in the abandoned warehouse office. Her two co-conspirators watched her with worried eyes. “Seriously, what did I just witness there?” Her wings stiffened slightly, but she forced them down. “That wasn’t Rainbow Dash. Or it was, but she was…”
“Different?” Derpy offered.
“Not very descriptive, but yes,” Daring agreed. Stupid, sexy Rainbow Dash. Daring shivered. “Different.” All laid out on the floor like that, legs in the air and wings bound tight. “No, she was the same. But not the same.” She clutched her head in her hooves. “Gah! Why in Equestria does this have to be happening?”
“They are all “different”,” Whooves broke in, “Applejack would never have abandoned her sister. Nor Rarity hers.” Derpy looked down and sighed. Whooves put a comforting foreleg around her shoulders and pulled her close. “We’ll figure this out. Don’t worry.”
Derpy looked up into his eyes, as best she could, and smiled.
“Aaaaand I’m done here.” Daring turned for the door. “I’m not being near this right now. Not after…” She paused. “That thing with the whip.” She stalked towards the door. “So I’m going to go see if I can beat some answers out of my biggest fan. Don’t worry, she’ll probably love it. I could toss her into a volcano and she’d ask if this was part of a new fan experience.”
She kicked the door open and found herself face to face with a now-untied Rainbow Dash flanked by a squad of Imperial Guards. “Ya know,” her former prisoner said, “You shouldn’t use knots that you described in your books. Especially not ones that you told everypony how to get out of.”
“I’ll remember that in the future,” Daring said.
Dash rubbed the back of her head. “Also, how did we get from Ponyville to Baltimare?”
“That is an excellent question. Here’s my answer.” Daring slammed the door and braced herself against it. “We have a problem!”
“Open up in the name of the Empress!” The guards began pounding on the door.
Derpy did the only sensible thing to do when guards come pounding on your door for kidnapping a national hero and personal friend of the ruler. She took a deep breath, flew to the corner of the room, and panicked. “What do we do? What do we do? Somepony tell me what to do!” She sniffed. “Oh Dinky, Mommy’s not coming home tonight. I’m sorry, muffin! I’m a terrible mother.”
Whooves sighed and pulled the door to the closet open. The blue box lay inside, barely squeezing into the narrow confines. “We leave, Miss Hooves.”
Derpy brightened and flapped inside.
“You two go,” Daring said, “I’ll hold them off.”
“That’s really not necessary,” Whooves said, “Instantaneous travel, remember? All we need is for you to cross the room and close the door before they can grab you.”
“Hey, any other pegasus and I’d say “no problem”. But Rainbow Dash is the fastest there is. I don’t want to gamble. Plus, I’d like to try and get through to her.” Daring placed a hoof against her chest. “If there’s anypony who can, it’s Daring Do. Right?”
Whooves blinked and a grin spread slowly across his face. “Oh you are fantastic, Miss Do! Well, cheerio then. Best of luck. We’ll come get you later if things turn sour.” He hopped into the strange, blue box and closed the door. With loud pop, it disappeared. Daring Do grinned. Good going, girl. Got the side-show out of the way. Alone with bad guys. Just the way she liked it.
“Besides,” she muttered, “I get captured all the time. I’m used to it by now.” The door shook and splintered. Daring smirked. “Persistent, aren’t you?”
“Open up! This is your last warning!”
Daring Do counted to three. “Your wish is my command.” She stepped sharply aside. The door exploded inwards and four guards landed in a pile. With a nimble leap and roll, she shot past them and out the door.
The guards stared at her. “Are...are you supposed to be Daring Do?”
“Yep. That’s me.” Daring flashed a smile. “I’m a very lost cosplayer. Could you point me to the convention hall? I need to sell my bad fanfics and autograph my overly-sexualized fanart to validate my existence.” She slammed the door shut and pushed a crate in front of it. That was the goon squad dealt with. Now for the main course. Mane. Rainbow mane. Tied up. Ropes. Whip. Daring grit her teeth and began running for the exit.
She moved maybe five feet when a rainbow streak tackled her to the ground. She landed on her back and her heart beat faster. That sly, confident smirk and defiant glare stared down at her. Her hooves lay pinned above her head by a single blue foreleg. A knee pushed against her ribs, holding her down. She forgot to struggle. She forgot almost everything. Her rebellious wings tried to flare out and her eyes widened.
Dammit. Dammit all to Tartarus. This wasn’t a good sign. “You tackle all your heroes to the ground?” she asked, “Or is it my lucky day?”
Dash pressed down harder. “You kidnapped me,” she said, “Not, like, fake kidnapped me. Actually kidnapped me.”
“Eh. I get kidnapped all the time. No big deal..”
Dash spluttered. “No big deal?”
“Yeah.” Daring kept her eyes focused on Dash’s face. She could feel them try to wander. “I’ve been away for a few months. Then I come back and you six took over Equestria? Of course I wanted answers. And who better to get them from than my number one fan. You seemed pretty okay with it.”
Dash blinked. “Okay. Yeah, that’s a pretty good point.” She flapped her wings and got off of Daring. The adventurer rose and dusted herself off. The two mares stared at each other awkwardly for a few moments. Dash broke contact first and rubbed the back of her luxurious, wind-swept, mane that you could just bury your muzzle in and... Daring went over to the nearest box and slammed her head into it a few times. Ah, that’s better. Pain, the perfect counter to sexy-thoughts. “So…” Dash said with a note of concern, “we cool?”
The look in her eyes was so hopeful, so friendly, that for a moment Daring almost said yes. She took off her hat and sighed. “No.”
“No?” Dash’s eyes flickered with confusion.
Daring Do knew she was picking a fight. And maybe one she couldn’t win. But she’d taken on tougher opponents than Rainbow Dash and come out on top. She had a shot here. She uncoiled her whip. “Come on, Dashie,” she said with a chuckle, “That whole line about “the good of Equestria”? Not buying it. And you’re an idiot if you think for even a moment that this wasn’t some kind of power-grab. Convenient, isn’t it, that the “good of Equestria” put Twilight Sparkle on top, don’t you think?”
Anger appeared on Dash’s face. She lowered her head and snorted. “You better think real carefully about what you say next, Daring. I will buck you into the middle of next week.”
“No, you think Dash,” Daring snapped, “Or do I have to pull out the crayons and spell it out for you? Twilight tricked you into toppling the kindest pony there is.” She pointed a hoof at her. “You may be the Element of Loyalty, but there’s more to loyalty than blindly following. You betrayed a pony who trusted you. Can’t you see that? Wake up, Rainbow Dash! Wake up and look at the world.”
“Betrayed.” The words echoed in Dash’s ears. Traitor, I name you. And false friend. She ground her teeth. “You’re just like Con Mane,” she snapped.
“I…” Daring racked her brain. That name didn’t ring any bells. “Who?”
“Con Mane,” Dash repeated, “He tried turn me against my friends. He had this black magic mirror and stuff. Tricked me into looking into it. Then he went on this whole long speech about how I didn’t need my friends and he could make me stronger. Ha! It didn’t work. I’m the living embodiment of the Element of Loyalty. It’s literally inside me. Not even Discord could do...whatever it is he does. We’re better now. Stronger.” Dash’s face grew darker and darker.
“Dash.” Daring Do had seen many ponies get angry. Red-faced, spittle-flicking, vessel-popping angry, even. She’d seen the cold, sinister anger of a crooked collector who she’d beaten to a find. She’d faced Caballeron’s rage and endless ranting. She’d fought curses of old spirits, dodged wild haymaker swings from glaring thugs, but never had she seen this. Dash’s rage tainted the very air. She could taste it on her tongue. She took a step back.
Dash took a step forward. “I am Twilight Sparkle’s friend.” Another step. “And I will pound anyone who opposes her into the ground.” Another step. “I’m the Element of Loyalty. I’ll fight to make my friends’ dreams reality. If you stand in the way, then you are my enemy.”
Daring had been in a lot of fights. It came with the territory, after all. She’d even fought friends before. If somepony asked her, she would have said she had gotten pretty good at it. Dash was just an athlete. Her fighting style was direct. There was no form, no technique to it. Dash hadn’t been trained by the zebra mystics or meditated with the deer on crisp, forest mornings. She knew nothing of those things. All she had was her speed and her anger, anger which pushed her on and made her ignore whatever pain Daring was able to inflict.
Both pegasi shot into the air. Normally, the higher pegasus had the advantage, but Daring had picked up a few counters from studying the way earth ponies fought. Her whip lashed out and wrapped around Dash’s leg. With an expert twirl, she sent the bearer of loyalty flying into a stack of crates. It didn’t even stun her. Dash shot up. Daring feinted left and went right. Her whip caught Dash’s wing this time, right at the base. It raised a red welt, but the other pegasus didn’t even notice. She barreled forward and Daring dropped to avoid it. Altitude sacrificed for time. No space for any fancy maneuvers.
Her whip caught Dash’s leg again. She yanked and tried to pull the other pegasus off-balance, but Dash used the momentum to charge forward. She rammed Daring with her head and drove the breath from the adventurer’s lungs. Daring tottered and almost fell from the sky.
Normally, this was where she and her opponent exchanged witty remarks. It was adventurer trick number one, after all. Fighting was both physical and mental. A good one-liner threw the opponent off-balance and opened up opportunities. But she was too out of breath and Dash was in no mood to talk. She would have snorted if she’d had the breath for it. Kids these days. No respect for genre.
Daring tried to keep her eyes on Dash, but one moment she was there, the next she had her forelegs wrapped around Daring’s middle. Speed. Right. Dash was the fastest pegasus alive. She shattered the light spectrum on a whim. They flew backwards, right out an old, cracked window, and into the sky above Balitmare.
The warehouse was by the docks, as warehouses tend to be in a port. Ships moved on the dark waters below, their lights reflecting off the roiling waves. The lighthouse shone merrily in the distance, the windows of the houses twinkled, the shops put forth warm, inviting glows to entice any last-minute customers inside. A beautiful city. Daring wished she had time to appreciate it better.
Okay, she could still handle this. Adventurer trick number two: when violence doesn’t work, use better violence. She bucked and struck Dash a glancing blow to the jaw. For a moment, they came apart. Daring had lost her whip, so she pressed the attack with good, old-fashioned kicks and punches. She fell easily into Form Nine of the Zebra arts. It was the best adapted to aerial combat, since it required a lot of ducking and leaping. Good for defending from attacks above and below.
The first punch hit home and sent Dash spinning head-over-hooves. The second was kicked away. The third missed completely. A rainbow blur cut the sky in half. It curved high above her and descended with all the power and speed of a meteor. Time for adventurer trick three: dodging. If she did it too early, Dash would correct her course.
She underestimated the other pegasus’ sheer speed. Again. Dash slammed into her and she saw stars spinning before her eyes. Rage burned in Dash’s eyes. They were headed straight down and Daring was in front. She began to doubt her ability to win.
A moment before impact, she twisted and slipped from Rainbow Dash’s grip. Her wings snapped out to their full length and she tried to hit the brakes. The ground did it for her. A cloud of dust filled the air and her vision swam. Something in her left foreleg didn’t feel right. Her ears had this annoying ringing in them and everything was blurry. Oh, and when she tried to flap her wings, a burning sensation in the left made her cry out. Yep. Her braking attempt had dislocated it.
“Why is it always the wings?” she muttered. No matter, she’d spent enough time on the ground. She could handle this. First thing first, get out of the street. Find somewhere confined where Dash couldn’t use that blinding speed. In a straight punch-up, Daring was sure she could win.
“Scuse me. Pardon me. Outta the way.” Daring shoved through the crowd of bewildered and frightened ponies. But on the bright side, this was the first time she’d been in public and no one had shouted ‘Look everypony! Daring Do!’ Maybe there was something to be said for being covered in mud and bruises. “Hey! Move aside. I’m trying to outrun a rainbow here!”
“Look! Up in the sky!”
Daring cursed. Alright, new plan. Get to an alleyway. It’d take Dash a second to find her in the crowd, right? She still had time. Then, something seized the back of her collar and slammed her into the ground.
“Aw, you got me,” Daring said through a mouthful of dirt, “Guess I’m “it” then. I’ll give you ten seconds to run and hide. Make it twenty, ‘cause I’m feeling generous. Oh, wait. That’s Rarity.”
“Heh, funny,” Dash snarled, "You should write that in a book."
“That’s me. After the twentieth run-in with Ahuizotl, fearing for my life got old.”
Dash pushed her further into the mud. Daring realized she couldn’t breath. “So, you don’t like how Twilight runs things?” Rainbow Dash hissed, “You think she’s not good enough?” She glared at the shocked ponies around her. “Well, how about the rest of you? Anyone agree with her?” She pulled Daring Do’s head up and the adventurer gasped for air. “Who here thinks Empress Twilight shouldn’t be Empress? Anypony?” The crowd quickly averted their gazes and looked down. “That’s what I thought. Everypony here thinks Twilight does a great job. I’ll bet they’d even swear their loyalty to her, if I told them to. Yeah, that’s an idea. We’ll make everypony in Equestria swear that they love Twilight.” She chuckled. “Looks like you and your companions were wrong, Daring Do. ”
A filly gasped. “Did she just say Daring Do?”
“Where’s Daring Do? We want Daring Do!” a colt called.
“Daring Do! Daring Do!” they chanted.
Daring coughed and tasted copper in her mouth. “Daring Do isn’t in right now. If you’d like to leave a message, I will be happy to….AAAAH!” Dash stepped on her wing.
“Everypony get a good look,” she shouted, “Because this.” She kicked Daring in the side. “Is what happens when you try and rebel against the best pony in Equestria.” She tossed her mane. “I swear that I will hunt down anypony who rebels. I will drag them through the dirt and make sure they get exactly what they deserve.”
“Ruling by terror now? And you say you’re not evil.” Daring chuckled grimly. Dash stepped harder on her wing, but she was ready for that and didn’t cry out. Villains were so predictable. “You know, there’s an upside to this,” she said, “All my sexy-thoughts went bye-bye after the first punch.” The hoof ground against the joint. Daring’s vision blurred with tears, but she forced her trademark ‘time to taunt the bad guy’ smile on her face. “Guess this proves what they say about fan loyalty, huh? One misstep and they turn on you.”
Dash’s face grew even darker. The lights dimmed from the force of her anger. Or maybe that was Daring losing consciousness. Probably the latter. Pain tended to do that. But she wanted to get one last jab in before she was gone. “Oh, and I gave your book to Derpy.”
A heavy blow to the head sent her down, down, down into the land of nightmares.
Derpy did not panic. Panic would have implied she didn’t know what needed to happen. Sure, she fluttered about her house, almost crashing into things and frightening her daughters, but she knew exactly what needed to happen. Not more than ten minutes ago, she’d seen Rainbow Dash publicly drag Daring Do away towards jail. Only the blue box had allowed them to evade her search. But the problem was, Rainbow Dash knew where the two rebels lived.
Dinky and Sparkler trailed behind their mother in a fog of confusion and concern. “But why are we leaving?” Dinky demanded.
“Rainbow Dash is coming,” Derpy said, a look of distress, almost fear on her face. Her daughters exchanged glances. Derpy Hooves had a reputation for being a little out of it, but she was a loving mother and both her natural and adopted daughter loved her with all their hearts. Still, they had to get used to some eccentricities. The best way to handle it was ask polite questions until they got to the bottom of it.
“Did you not deliver her package on time?” Sparkler asked.
“Oh! You crushed a Wonderbolt thingy!” Dinky guessed, “And now she’s mad.”
“Knocked her out of the sky?”
“Asked her on a date?”
“No, no, no, and…” Derpy thought about it. “Pretty sure that was a dream.” She shook her head. “There’s no time, silly fillies! Pack everything you think you’ll need. I’ll get the muffins.” She darted for the kitchen, mentally listing off the dozens of places where muffins were stored and making plans of which suitcases to shove them in. Her days as a mover may have been disastrous, but they taught her a thing or two about proper packing. Mainly, what not to do.
“Wait!” Dinky trotted in after her, “How’re we supposed to know what to pack if we don’t know how long we’re going to be gone?”
Derpy’s steps faltered. “I don’t know, muffin. We could be gone forever.”
“Forever?” Sparkler craned her head around the door, panic in her eyes. “But I have school! And a date. And...and we can’t be going away forever! We can’t.”
Derpy looked down.
Sparkler swallowed. “Tell me this is a joke. O-or another one of your accidents. I’m sure if we talk to whoever got hurt, we can figure something out. This is a little...drastic. Don’t you think so, Dinky? Er, Dinky?”
Dinky stepped forward and wrapped her forelegs around her mother’s neck. “We forgive you,” she said, “Whatever you did, no matter what happens to us because of it, we forgive you.” She glanced backwards at Sparkler with a fire in her eyes.
“R-right! Yeah. Totally,” Sparkler agreed.
Derpy sniffed. “I wanted to help. I wanted to fix everything. I couldn’t stand around and see ponies I know grow sadder and sadder. I couldn’t let Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle be hurt. I thought...I trusted my friends to think of something that would work. I only wanted to help. But I just…” She let out a sigh. “I don’t know what went wrong. But everything’s gone wrong.”
Dinky hugged her tighter. Wordlessly, Sparkler trotted up and joined.
Derpy wrapped her hooves and her wings around her children. “Now they’re coming to arrest me and Doc. If we don’t leave, I don’t know what’ll happen to you.” She choked back a sob. “I’m sorry! I was trying to fix the world. But I only break things. And now I’ve broken your lives and your happiness. I should have thought. I shouldn’t have tried. It’s too late to go back now.”
“We forgave you already,” Dinky said, “Now come on. You grab the muffins. We’ll grab the other essentials.”
“Like soap, toothbrushes, photo albums, those sorts of silly, not-muffin things,” Sparkler added.
“Books,” Dinky mused, “We should take some fun books. And games. We’ll need something fun to do.”
“Brushes, some clothes,” Sparkler continued. The two sisters moved off, chattering and making plans. Behind them, Derpy smiled. The best two daughters anypony could ask for. Whatever jerk abandoned Sparkler in the orphanage didn’t know what she was missing.
The muffins were easy to gather and pack. Only four suitcases full of them. Derpy prided herself on packing light. Sparkler and Dinky were still running around upstairs, shouting a conversation at each other and stuffing all sorts of things into a twin pair of duffels. She had some time all to herself.
She wandered the house, letting all the memories in it flow back to her. All the patches in the walls where she’d crashed through them. All the marks on the floor from a dropped plate or drink that left stains behind no matter what cleaning product she used (except for that one bleach, but it turned the red carpet white instead, so not much better). The table where she’d taught Dinky to read. The couch she’d been sitting on when Sparkler had first called her ‘Mom’. The kitchen, where they’d had so many adventures with baking.
There were darker memories as well. The boarded up window from when those vines from the Everfree attacked and almost took Dinky away. The leak in the bathroom sink after the Flim Flam brothers convinced her to pay for their newest product. The dresser in her bedroom that held all the pink slips from all her past jobs. The mirror above it with all the happy ‘Get Well Soon’ cards taped to it from all the times she’d injured herself. And behind it, her bed.
It was the source of her greatest gift and her greatest grief. From under its covers came her little muffin, the best little filly in all the world, Dinky Hooves. But it was a bed for two ponies and one side of it would always be empty. She picked up the picture on the nightstand and smiled. This would come with her. This picture and the muffins.
Whooves was waiting for her out in the living room. His blue box sat in front of the fireplace. “I let myself in,” he said, “Well, more like popped myself in really.” He raised a brow at her bags. “Do I smell muffins? Are those bags filled with muffins?”
“I didn’t want to take them all,” Derpy said, “So I only packed the fresh ones.”
Whooves stared at her, muttered something to the heavens above, and clapped his forehooves together. “Right. And the children are almost ready?”
“I’ll check.” Derpy turned toward the stair. “Muffins! You almost done packing?”
“Yep!” Sparkler called, “The zipper’s giving us some trouble, but once we get it closed we’ll be ready.”
A minute later, the two trotted down with two very overstuffed duffle bags. “I packed games and blankets,” Dinky said, “Lots of blankets.”
“I packed clothes and soap and stuff,” Sparkler said, “And...well, a few records, in case we find anything to play them on.” Her eyes fell on the blue box. “Sweet Celestia! How did that get here?”
“Oh, you know. I popped in,” Whooves replied with a smile, “Well, let’s get things loaded, shall we? No time to spare. Ms. Dash could be arriving any minute.”
Dinky walked all the way around the box several times and pushed at the door. “It’s not all going to fit in…” She gasped. “It’s bigger on the inside! Sparkler, you have to see this!”
As the two fillies examined the inside with awe and wonder, Derpy took Whooves’ hoof in hers. “Doc,” she said, “The plan didn’t work. What’re we going to do?”
“Never fear, Miss Hooves,” he said, “The first plan didn’t work, but when does it ever? We’re not out of the fight yet. And, to be frank, no matter how fast Ms. Dash flies, she can’t catch us so long as we can pop away.”
“But...but she hurt my sister!” Derpy grabbed his shoulders. “What’s going to happen to her? Are they going to banish her? Send her to the moon? What do they do with rebels?”
“I don’t know,” Whooves said, “But wherever she ends up, we can rescue her easily. No prison expects to defend itself against a machine that can teleport. Magical barriers won’t affect us. We can pop in, grab Daring, and pop out again. All we need is a location.” He paused. “And more allies.”
“Allies?” Derpy shook her head. “No, we can’t! We can’t get more ponies involved. They might get hurt too.”
“I think…” Whooves sighed. “I think ponies will get hurt regardless. It’s already happened even. I wouldn’t call what they did to Celestia painless.” He put a comforting hoof around her shoulders. “But we’re going to make things right. And we’re going to get the help of everypony we can. And we're going to remind Twilight who the real ruler of Equestria is.”
Derpy didn’t look entirely convinced. “It’s still going to be dangerous for them.” She took a deep breath. “But I trust you. You’ve always been kind to me and so I suppose you wouldn’t put ponies in danger if...if there wasn’t a good reason for it.”
Whooves laughed. “Oh my dear Derpy. Please, never change who you are. You are a wonderful, kind, caring pony. And I love you for…” His face flushed. “Er, that is to say, it’s an admirable quality and you are a quality mare and...no, that came out wrong too.”
Derpy’s face was red as fire. “D-Doc?”
“Yes, Ms. Hooves?”
“Shouldn’t we get in the box now?”
“That’s a fantastic idea. Let’s drop this topic and go. I imagine we're going to be very busy over the next few months.”
Derpy followed him into the box. "What're we going to be doing, Doc?"
That crazy, almost manic grin that she loved him for appeared on his face. "Why Miss Hooves! We're going recruiting of course!"
* * *
Fancy Pants leaned back in his chair and pretended to study the papers on his desk. “I knew it was only a matter of time before somepony approached me with such a...proposition,” he said, “So then...forgive me, I don’t believe I caught your names.”
“I think it would be best if you just called me the Doctor for now,” the stallion said.
“And what are you a doctor of?”
“Engineering and technology.”
Fancy Pants nodded and turned to the pegasus mare. “And you, Miss…?”
“Derp-- Ditzy Doo,” she replied.
Fancy Pants caught the correction, but opted not to press her on it. “Derp Ditzy Doo. Quite the name.” He smoothed his elegant mustache and his eyes fell on the third thing to invade his office. “And quite the arrival. Is that an old police call box?”
“It wasn’t being used for anything,” the ‘Doctor’ said.
“How does it work?”
“It doesn’t,” the Doctor said, “Not yet anyway. It’s more of a malfunction at the moment. Supposed to be a time machine.”
“If all your malfunctions work so well, I would love to see one of your successes. This could revolutionize transport,” Fancy Pants said, “If you hadn’t come to me with the proposition you did, I might have considered investing in its mass-production. However, as it stands, I doubt that will happen.”
Both ponies firmly shook their heads. “Out of the question. Can't give up one of our few advantages,” the Doctor said, “But about what we were discussing?”
“Oh, don’t worry. I have a few questions and then I’ll give you my decision.” Fancy Pants slipped out a newspaper from under his desk and held up the first page. ‘Equestria Daily’ was the title and the cover story read “Whereabouts of dangerous rebels still unknown”. Their pictures were beside it. Fancy Pants smiled. “So, Time Turner and Derpy Hooves, you’re here to, what, gain my support for your ill-planned rebellion?”
The pegasus looked quite unsettled and shakily reached for the paper. The stallion was unruffled. “Mr. Pants,” he said, “I’m sure that a stallion of your position--”
Derpy gasped. “1000 bits? For capturing me?” She fainted, but the Doctor caught her and set her deftly on a couch. Fancy Pants raised an eyebrow.
“Should I call somepony to tend to her?” he asked.
“Um, no. No, that’s quite alright.” The Doctor checked her over carefully and breathed a sigh of relief. “Fainted from shock, that’s all. She’ll be fine.” He cleared his throat. “As I was saying, I’m sure a stallion of your position appreciates the gravity of the changes going on in Equestria right now.”
“I am in a unique position to observe them first-hand,” the unicorn replied, “Unlike many of the other nobles and celebrities, my reputation as a philanthropist and, I quote, ‘ally of friendship’, seems to have earned me the Empress’ favor.” His face grows dark. “I don’t like it, Turner. I don’t like it one bit. This is very out of character for the six of them. Ms. Rarity, well, she’s a fine pony still, but when we talked there seemed to be something not quite right with her. And the Empress is, of course, a neurotic, book-obsessed wizard who never studied how to run a business, much less a kingdom. You can’t learn politics in books! She’s going to destroy all of Celestia’s hard work based upon some useless, philosophical kookery somepony dreamed up three thousand years ago. Ideal state my flank.”
He huffed and rubbed his temple with a hoof. “Well, I guess you know where I stand on the issue,” he said, “I don’t bear them ill-will, no more than they deserve, but I dearly wish Celestia and Luna were back on the throne. The enemies of Equestria feared Luna and Celestia was a mastermind diplomat. Neither can be said of Twilight Sparkle.”
The Doctor strode forward and put a forehoof on his desk. “Mr. Pants. Might I assume this outburst indicates your agreement to the cause? A rebellion needs volunteers, supplies, and money. Would you provide the latter?”
Fancy Pants’ eyes wandered over to the box. His mouth quirked upwards. “Yes, well I suppose I’ll never get a better option than a pony who can evade all my guards and magical wards with ease. Yes, I will provide the money. We’ll work out the details later. Though I do wonder how you two fit in there.”
The Doctor smiled. “Well, maybe you’d care for a look inside…”
* * *
“Ponies are funny! Ponies make Diamond Dogs laugh! Very funny ponies.”
Whooves glared at the horde of burrowing canines. “On the contrary, I was being serious.”
The one closest to a leader, Rover or whatever his name was, stopped laughing. An uneasy expression came over his face. He tapped his paws together nervously. “Eh-heh. Time-pony wants Diamond Dogs to fight Sun and Moon princess. At the same time.”
“No, I want you to help us fight Twilight Sparkle. I want to free Celestia and Luna.”
At Twilight’s name, the dog’s eyes went wide. “Purple-Pony is Sun and Moon now? This not good. This not good at all.”
Whooves nodded. “Indeed! It is not good. And it’s only going to get worse if we don’t stop it now. Better to stand and fight when there’s a chance than to wait around for doom to overtake you, don’t you think?”
Rover’s eyes filled with suspicion. “What Time-Pony want? Gems? We no give gems. We take them.”
“Charming,” Whooves replied, “But no. I was hoping you’d allow me and my friends to live down here. It would be quite safe, safer than a number of places I could think of, and is capable of supporting a large population.”
“No.”
“No?” Whooves tried not to get frustrated, “But you agreed that Twilight was a problem.”
“Purple-Pony is pony problem. Diamond Dogs live underground. No need sun or moon. And no need to make Sun-Moon-Princess angry enough to come down and hurt Diamond Dogs.” He shuddered. “Besides, last time ponies were down here did not go so well. We no want ponies living down here ever again.”
Whooves took a step back. “Rover, you can’t hide from this. If Twilight...”
“No! That’s final, Time-Pony!”
Whooves fixed the canine with a piercing look. “It’s your decision,” he said lightly, “but those who stand idly by have no right to complain about the results.”
* * *
“Helloooo Equestria! It’s me, your host, the ravishing, righteous rocker herself, DJ-Pon3.”
“And I’m Octavia. Your co-host.”
“And this is...The-Not-So-Late-Show, Equestria’s number one radio show. Accept no substitutes.”
“Vinyl, we’re the only radio show in Equestria. They play music whenever we aren’t on.”
“Yeah. Your point?”
Vinyl Scratch and Octavia sat across from each other in the broadcast room. It was a mess, as was anyplace that Vinyl spent any amount of time in. But it was their mess, the product of both their time and imaginations.
“My point,” Octavia pressed, “Is that by definition we’re the number one radio show.”
“Yeah. And it’s amazing~” Vinyl sang, “So amazing that yesterday we got attacked by griffons who wanted to take over the studio.”
“Yes, Vinyl. That happened on air. I’m sure all our listeners remember.” She shuddered. “I know I’ll never forget those sharp claws, those curved beaks, those cruel smiles, those…”
“Aaaand what’s important,” Vinyl interrupted, “Is that in order to cope with our trauma, we went bar-hopping last night and it was a blast! I totally rock karaoke.”
“You were singing songs in the wrong genre,” Octavia said.
“The awesome genre!”
Octavia sighed, not for the first or the last time that day. “Correct me if I’m wrong,” she said through gritted teeth, “But I don’t believe that “My Heart Will Go On” was meant to be performed as a hard rock song remixed with dubstep. And a little Screamo, if I remember.” She frowned. “How did you even do that? The song was played from a tape. You couldn’t have remixed the background score.”
Vinyl grinned and tapped her horn. “Elementary, my dear Tavi. I used magic. It’s my special talent.” Her grin widened. “But that wasn’t the best part of the night, listeners. See, Tavi here has a little problem when it comes to alcohol.” She leaned forward. “Namely, she can’t hold it worth two bits. And you should have seen what she did on that dance floor. Smokin’. And that, dear listeners, was the beginning.”
Octavia’s eyes were wide and she laughed nervously. “Alright, Vinyl. That’s enough now.” In a harsh whisper, she hissed, “You’re not seriously going to say that on air, right?”
“Oh I am,” Vinyl said, “For all you Ponyville folks out there, imagine Berry Punch. But much huggier and more...hmm, affectionate.” She looked at Octavia’s face and laughed. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding. Even sloshed you were the picture of,” she adopted a faux-Canterlot accent, “poise and refinement. Though your dance moves did leave a poor stallion with a bloody nose. Brava, milady, brava.”
Octavia’s face was as red as an apple. She cleared her throat and held her mic close. “Dear listeners,” she said, “For the next five minutes, you will be regaled with a stunning recording of Pinkie Pie’s new hit single “Smile”, released by Las Pegasus records. Then, we will return. In the meantime, if you are the sort to offer up prayers for other ponies to whatever powers may exist, I suggest you get on your knees and pray that my boss survives the next few minutes.”
Vinyl felt a bead of nervous sweat trace down her brow. “I-it was a joke, Tavi. There’s no need for--”
Octavia flipped the console’s switch and smiled endearingly at her partner and best friend. “But Vinyl,” she said sweetly, “I’m only going to show you how affectionate I can be.” She lunged for her and the DJ retreated with a yelp.
Before things got further out of hand and Octavia poked her eye out on Vinyl’s horn, a loud pop filled the air. A blue box filled the corner of the already crowded studio. The pair looked at each other, than at it. A door opened and a smiling stallion stepped out.
“T-Time Turner?” Octavia stammered, “What the blazes are you doing here? And what is that thing?”
“Oh it’s nothing special, just my box.” He blinked. “No. Wait. I can come up with a better name than that.”
Derpy poked her head out from behind him. “The Muffin-Machine?” she suggested.
“That would imply it makes muffins, Ms. Hooves.”
Derpy smiled proudly. “It does now! I made a muffin replicator.”
“You did what now?”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Vinyl fished around the in mess of papers littering their desk. She pulled out a newspaper. “You’re the most wanted ponies in Equestria. We were going to do a segment on you and now you’re here. This is perfect! You mind doing an interview?”
The stallion cleared his throat. “As tempting as that sounds, we had a proposition, if you wouldn’t mind giving us a moment of your time.”
“I suppose it wouldn't hurt.” Octavia glanced at the clock. “You have about...three and a half minutes.”
* * *
“As much as we would love to help, I’m afraid the personal risk is just too much.” Cadence smiled sorrowfully down at the strange pair of ponies who’d appeared before her. “My daughter and I, well, we’re the only other alicorns left. Twilight already has Aunt Celestia and Luna’s power. If she were to take mine…” She shudders. “Well, I don’t want to see what another pony could do with the power of love.”
“We don’t know what’s gotten into Twily’s head,” Shining Armor said with a sigh, “But nopony’s going to be a match for her in a fight. Not anymore. She’s too powerful.” He sighed. “And she is my little sister. I don’t think, if it came to it, I could bring myself to fight her.”
“Nor I.”
The Doctor’s jaw tightened. “I see. Well, protecting family is a noble goal.” He turned sharply. “Come, Derpy, we’re leaving.”
“Wait!” Cadence called. The Doctor paused. “Just because we can’t directly support you doesn’t mean we can’t...turn a blind eye if someponies need to hide in the Crystal Empire. And it doesn’t mean that we don’t know where some are who might help. Hypothetically speaking, you might try talking to Thorax. He’s a dear friend and has a good heart.”
The Doctor looked at them once more and this time a little warmth crept into his eyes. He bowed. “Well now,” he said, “That is most kind of you.”
* * *
“Of course I’ll help!” Thorax leapt from his ‘throne’. He hadn’t wanted one, but his new subjects had insisted on it. “I don’t know what’s going on, but it can’t be good. If…” He swallowed. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say they’d been replaced by Changelings again.”
* * *
“Are you out of your mind? No way!”
* * *
“Eh. Got nothing to lose. Count me in, Doc.”
* * *
"You're going to get yourselves killed. Lucky for you, I'm not one to stand by either. Count me in!"
* * *
"Oh why not? I must say, Empress Twilight better watch herself. The fires of rebellion are spreading."
* * *
Sunny Skies lay awake. The moon had been up for hours and here she was, restless in bed.How long had it been since she’d gotten a decent sleep? Too long. It was beginning to show on her face. Twilight insisted she still looked fine, the servants insisted she looked radiant as ever. They insisted on the word ‘radiant’. Sunny could see the changes, however, and they were greatly discouraging.
Was she getting older? Was that it? Was age finally catching up with her?
The second occupant of the bed shifted and rolled over in her sleep. A hoof wrapped around Sunny’s middle and pulled her close. Much like a child’s doll, she reflected with some amusement. “Mmm…” Twilight mumbled in her sleep. She sniffed Sunny’s mane. “Smells like...strawberries.”
She almost chuckled. It was that or cry. She, a twelve hundred year old schemer and chess-mistress on the international stage, had been reduced to Twilight Sparkle’s new Smartypants doll. Discord would have a fit laughing if he were here to see it.
Her eyes closed and she tried to will herself to sleep. Maybe she could do it this time. Her current position wasn’t too uncomfortable. Twilight soft chest pressed against her back and her forelegs wrapped around Sunny’s shoulders. She could feel the Empress breathing, in and out, in and out. She could get used to this. All she had to do was give up and forget ever being Celestia. It would be so easy to be Sunny and Sunny alone.
Sunny had a good life. She was cared for, beloved by all the servants, and sometimes the Empress listened when she spoke words of carefully phrased advice. She had all the cake she could want. And really, it would be simple to ask Twilight for a spell to suppress her old memories. Not eliminate them, for that would leave her helpless as a foal, but suppress. Magically induced amnesia, yes. That was a good way to describe it.
“And why not?” she muttered, “Who could possibly defeat Twilight and the Elements?” For all her schemes, for all her wisdom, they were right. She’d been blindsided too many times. First with Discord, and then others in rapid succession. Tirek, twice with Chrysalis. Despite every Corvid invasion she avoided, despite every treaty she extracted from the minotaurs, despite it all she failed when and where it most counted. And Twilight succeeded. She always succeeded.
Sunny Skies opened her eyes and looked out to the moon. This was getting her nowhere. She couldn’t sleep. Not tonight. With a sigh, she slipped from bed and Twilight’s embrace. The alicorn empress shifted and rubbed her eyes blearily. “Where are...where are you…?”
She turned and smiled. “I’m stepping out onto the balcony for a moment. I want to look at the moon.”
“Oh...Okay…” Twilight yawned, stretched, and rolled over. Her soft snoring resumed.
Sunny pushed open the door and stepped onto the balcony. The lights of Canterlot far below lit up the ground like the stars that hung in the sky. But above it all, Luna’s moon reigned. Her jaw tightened. It would always be Luna’s moon to her.
“Luna.” Speaking to it had become a habit during her sister’s banishment. There was no way the moon princess could hear her now, stripped of her power, but the pretending brought comfort to Sunny’s mind. “Oh Luna. Am I always destined to fail you?” Her vision blurred with tears.
There was a way out. That insipid voice whispered into the back of her head. Ask Twilight. She’ll help you. Give it up. After twelve centuries, you deserve some rest and relaxation. All you need to do is ask. Is that so hard? It wasn’t. And she did deserve it. She drew herself up and looked to the moon. “I will,” she answered, “Perhaps we will be reunited once we’ve both surrendered fully. Please, do not keep me waiting long.”
She turned and slipped back into bed. Twilight stirred again. “Is everything…” A yawn interrupted her. “Is everything alright, Sunny?”
“Yes, Twilight. Though I have a favor to ask.”
“Mm?”
Sunny hesitated. Now was not the time. Twilight was trying to sleep, and, even though sleep evaded the pegasus, it was rude to keep someone else from it. She nuzzled Twilight’s cheek. “I’ll tell you in the morning.”
“M’kay.” Hooves wrapped around Sunny once more and Twilight sailed off into dreamland. Despite herself, sleep eventually found Sunny too.
She woke up alone with a tea tray on the stand beside her. A still-hot cup of peppermint tea waited for her. She tried to pick it up with magic and sighed when she remembered. Hooves it was.
She almost missed the letter. They were never for her nowadays, but this one clearly read “Sunny Skies” on it. Curious, she set her tea back down and unrolled it.
“Dear Princess Celestia,
Hello! My name is Dr. Whooves. I hope this letter finds you in the peak of health. I’m sure things are difficult, but a friend of a friend, wonderful mare named Silver Service, assured me she could get this to you. She says you’re feeling down lately. Please don’t. Smile. Be happy. Not because you have much, but because of all the ponies who still care and still love you. But don’t take my word for it. Let them tell you themselves.
Hello Princess! It’s me, Derpy, the mailmare. You sent me muffins last Hearthswarming even though I destroyed the window in your throne room. They were the best ever! I want the recipe. Please? You know what? It’s okay. You don’t have to. You’ve already done so much and given up so much. You’re the kindest pony I know. Take care! And eat a muffin for me.
Heeeey Princess! It’s Vinyl Scratch, the one and only DJ Pon-3. Heard you’re feeling blue, so I thought I’d give you something to make you smile again. Tune in this morning during our ten o’clock show and we’ll be playing all the sunshine songs you could ask for! Least I could do for my Gala pranking partner, right?
Dear Princess Celestia,
Octavia Melody here. Did I read what Vinyl wrote correctly? You had a hoof in her antics last Gala? Well, I told Vinyl this and I’ll tell you the same. That was some of the most fun I’ve ever had. Never have I been so happy to have my mane soaked in punch.
I know things aren’t what they used to be, but if you ever feel down, send for me. I will drop whatever I’m doing and fly to your side, cello in tow. Well, not fly. I will move with all appropriate haste. I’ve expanded my repertoire quite a lot since I last played for you. I would love the chance to show you. You’ve given so much to Equestria, it’s a small repayment.
Princess,
When I first came to your court, I respected you as the ruler of Equestria. However, I soon grew beyond that. I respect you not as a monarch but as a pony. Your heart, your laughter, your wit and will, you defeated me at every turn. And I deserved it, pretentious young stallion that I was.
You’ve never done me a greater favor than showing me how full of myself I was. You refused to let me stay that way because you saw something greater in me, according to you. And I refuse to let you slip away from us now.
Stay strong.
Fancy Pants.”
The list went on and on. Celestia’s eyes filled with tears, but of a different kind than the hopeless one’s of last night.
“Princess Celestia, this is Blitz from the Cloudsdale Weather Control. I’ll never forget how you got me the job here and I hope I made you proud. Can you believe they have me coordinating the weather for the entire East Equestria nowadays? Hey, if everything worked out alright for that no-account colt who spent his spare time spraying paint all over Fillydelphia, it can still work out for you. Have some faith in us, your ponies, just as we have faith in you. You’re awesome.”
“Princess! I can’t believe I’m writing to you. Love Tap, by the way...”
“Princess Celestia…”
“Dear Princess Celestia.”
“You helped me.”
“You saved me.”
“You were always there.”
“We love you.”
“We miss you.”
“Please don’t give up.”
The final letter, though, gave her pause.
“Dear Princess Celestia,
We don’t really know what’s going on. Nopony exactly wants to tell us. But we know that our sisters did something real bad to you. And though it wasn’t us, we wanted to apologize for it. You’ll always be our princess. You and Luna are the best ponies fillies could ask for. And when we grow up, we’re going to make it our new mission to help you. Until then, don’t give up! Be as stubborn as we were. (Scootaloo says we weren’t stubborn, but I know it when I see it. Applejack’s the picture of stubbornness sometimes.)”
The next few lines were a mess of inkblots and crossed out words. Celestia stifled a giggle.
“Whether we were stubborn or not (happy, Scoots?), we swear upon our cutie marks that we’ll do everything we can to help. Be stubborn/persistent/intractable (I swear I don’t know where Sweetie Belle learns these fancy words).
Signed, the Cutie Mark Crusaders
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle”
At the bottom of the scroll, a small message was written in neat letters.
“I hope it wasn’t too forward of me to leave this here, Princess. I was given instructions to destroy it afterwards or to have you destroy it so as not to endanger the ponies whose names are written here. Still, I hope it cheers you up some.
-Silver Service”
As she put the letter to a candle, Sunny felt her heart rising within her. A smile would not leave her face. She laughed and couldn’t stop. Joy. It wasn’t quite happiness, it was deeper than that. A warm, bubbly feeling that filled her from hooves to wingtips. She pranced over to the window and threw it open. With a whoop, she dove right off the edge and spread her wings wide. The sun embraced her and danced upon her back.
Princess Celestia. That was what they called her. To them, that was who she was. How could she even think of betraying her little ponies? She may not be an alicorn, no, but she was still theirs.
She spotted Twilight walking down in the garden, a stack of books levitating beside her. Her smile faltered, but then the most ridiculous idea crossed her mind. One worthy of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. She dove and snatched up a few buckets from the gardeners’ shed. A quick dip in the fountain filled them to the brim with cold, clear water. But there was a problem. She couldn’t carry and dump all these by herself. Her eyes scanned the garden. Ah, perfect! Without warning, she landed right in front of two nearby guards.
“What the…?” They recoiled and blinked. “Prin...Sunny? What are you...”
“Soldiers!” she said with the utmost seriousness, “I have a mission for you vital to the safety of Equestria.”
They exchanged bewildered glances. “And what would that be?”
She grinned and nudged two loaded buckets towards them. “Carry those and follow me.” She took to the air and, with a pair of shrugs, they followed. Sunny led them right back to where Twilight was on her morning walk and read.
“Target in sight,” she shouted, calling upon all her experience as a commander leading ponies in battle, “All troops, prepare for aerial bombardment!”
“Are you sure this is a good idea, ma’am?”
“The best I’ve had in over six months!” Sunny dove. The guards followed suit, though not without hesitation. Twilight never saw it coming.
“Bwuh?” The purple alicorn leapt right up into the air, soaked. The instant she recovered, she checked her books for any signs of wetness. There were none. She breathed a sigh of relief. Sunny laughed merrily and landed in front of her. Twilight shook her mane and stared at the pale pegasus. “What in Equestria? Sunny? What are you…?”
“Oh please, Twilight,” Sunny Skies smiled her warmest, most motherly smile, “No need for that. We’ve known each other so long now. Just call me…” Twilight raised an eyebrow. The pegasus’ smile widened. “...Celestia.”
“Good morning everypony. I hope you all slept well, but it’s time to wake up now. The sun is up, the birds are singing, and the flowers are blooming in the garden. Oh, and breakfast is hot biscuits with delicious, golden honey. And apples, delivered fresh from Sweet Apple Acres. Big Macintosh bravely brought them over himself early this morning.”
Fluttershy had never liked speaking to large crowds. However, not being able to see them seemed to help. It had been so nice of Twilight to install that “intercom” system just for her. Now, she could talk to everypony in the facility and not freeze up.
“And after breakfast,” she continued, “We have a number of relaxing and restful activities planned. There’s basket-weaving in the main atrium, card and board games in the cafeteria, and frisbee on the front lawn. Lunch will be a picnic under the orchard and dinner will be in the main hall. Everypony remember to think positive. We will all get through this together. Oh, those scheduled for therapy today, please don’t be late. I’d hate to send the guards to track you down. Nopony likes that.”
She bit her lip and cleared her throat. This next part was difficult. “Now, I understand some of you might be thinking about...escape. We had another attempt yesterday that almost succeeded. Feather Fluff made it through the barrier and outside the facility, but immediately ran into a timberwolf. We barely managed to get there in time to save her and she’s currently confined to the medical ward. So...um, all that is to say, please don’t try it. We’re in the middle of the Everfree and I really don’t want to see you all get hurt. Alrightthat’sallfortodaybye!”
She released the button with a sigh of relief. That was over for now. Until evening announcements, at least. But the facility needed to be kept running smoothly. It was her mission from Twilight. But more importantly than that, it was something she could do in good conscience.
To calm her nerves, she reached for a glass of water and squeaked when it erupted into foam. A pair of yellowed eyes opened and peered at her from the mess. “Bravo! Bravo! You almost made it through without panicking this time.”
Her desk was a mess, but she didn’t mind. She let herself relax. “Hello, Discord.”
With a snap, her desk was back the way it had been and the Lord of Chaos curled himself languidly around it, resting his head on his paw and leaning on the surface. “So, found any ponies so depraved, so beyond help that you need dear old Discord to help?”
She shook her head. “Oh no. I have great hopes for all of them. Some of them just need some time to come around. I can respect that.” She put a smile on her face, but a sigh followed soon after.
Discord’s eyes narrowed. He studied her for a minute, then laughed. “Oh dear, Fluttershy. If you keep taking everything so seriously, you’ll shrivel up inside.” His form crinkled and crackled and curled up like a burnt piece of paper. “See what I mean?”
“This is serious, though,” Fluttershy said, “I’ve got the most important job in all Equestria. Twilight said so herself.”
Discord scoffed. “Pft. Twilight. What does she know?”
“Well, she’s very good at magic, she studies books constantly, she--”
“Okay, yes. Fine. Might as well start calling her Empress Purplesmart or something.” Discord grinned. He rather liked that idea. A nice, cheeky nickname was sure to get under her skin. “Honestly, Fluttershy. You take things too, hm, literally. You need a change in perspective. Perhaps a vacation!”
With a snap, they were seated on a beach in the Marehamas, lemonade glasses by their sides and a warm sun overhead. “Yes! A vacation is exactly what you need. You’ve been cooped up in the office for too long, my dear. Stretch those wings. Smell that natural, air. You know, there’s plenty of chaos to be found in nature. We could go on vacation together! Just the two of us.”
Fluttershy giggled. “It’s a lovely thought, Discord. But I can’t. And you have a job too, you know.”
Discord rolled his eyes and they fell right out of his head. “Yes, yes. Purplesmart wants me to ‘capture and contain existential threats to Equestria’. Because that’s the best use of my time, talents, and creativity.” He fell backwards and they were once again in Fluttershy’s office. “This is revenge for when I was sick and she and Cadence had to care for me. I know it.”
“And I have ponies to bring into harmony,” Fluttershy said, “Because if anypony can reform them, it’s me. It is the best use of my time. So I’m afraid there’s not time for vacations.”
With a sigh, Discord relented. “Well! I’m off to track down a lich. Baron von Lichtenstein, or something silly like that. Forbidden magic, necromancy, ultimate artifact of evil. You know, the basic rap sheet.” He leaned in and whispered. “It wouldn’t kill them to show a little creativity or variety in their evil plots, you know.” Fluttershy giggled. He conjured a set of armor and brandished a holy symbol in the shape of Twilight’s cutie mark. “Hi-ho, Silver! For harmony, friendship, and all that. Mostly to see the looks on their faces when I pop in.”
Fluttershy hid a smile. “I don’t think Twilight would like to see you mocking her like that.”
“Mocking? Me? Never!” Discord said with the utmost conviction, “I do not mock, I lampoon. There’s a difference, my dear.” She laughed and that brought a smile to his face. “Ta-ta for now! Don’t wait up for me.” With a snap, he disappeared.
Fluttershy’s smile faded. Her eyes fell to the files on her desk and her heart sank. She flipped the first one open. “Alright,” she said, “let’s see who we have for today.”
* * *
Today marked the start of the sixth month since “The Baltimare Incident”. What they’d feared before had become obvious: not everypony was going to quietly accept Twilight’s reign. And worse, some major names and old friends were turning into enemies. Rainbow Dash had been livid after her fight. She’d flown to Canterlot to meet with Twilight. Fluttershy had been there too, caring for the animals in the gardens and trying to make amends for their previous encounter. When Fluttershy suggested she could have tried a softer approach, the brash pegasus actually snapped at her.
“What do you know about it? You weren’t there!”
That had hurt more than Dash could ever know. Not the words, but the fire and anger in her eyes like lightning barely contained in a too-thin vessel of flesh.
Twilight had summoned the other three and, within a day’s time, they held council. Rainbow Dash told everypony what happened, spending more time than necessary on the awesome fight and her amazing exploits, but the message was clear. They were going to have enemies and they needed some way to deal with them.
“I vote,” Dash said to Fluttershy’s horror, “We beat them up and warn them never to dare try it again.”
Rarity scoffed. “Rainbow, darling, as direct and to the point as that would be, it would send the wrong message.”
“She’s right, Dash,” Twilight agreed, “Equestria was founded on the principles of friendship and harmony. And so are we, for that matter. We can’t change that now, even if we wanted to. And I don’t want to. I like things the way they are.”
“Hmm, but things can’t be the same, Twilight,” Rarity countered, “You’re the Empress now. I agree, we need to hold fast to the old principles as much as possible, but who’s to say there isn’t a little room for innovation?” The light in her eyes was a little manic. Fluttershy shivered. No one noticed.
“We’re not beating ponies up for not agreeing with us,” Twilight said flatly.
“Of course not, darling! The very idea.”
Dash’s face reddened. “Well we can’t let them run around.” She pounded a hoof on the table. “We have to deal with them. One way or another.”
“Calm down, sugarcube,” Applejack warned.
“Make me, Apple-butt!”
Applejack’s eyes narrowed. “Considerin’ you’re all worked up right now, I’ll not hold that against ya.”
Rainbow opened her mouth to protest, but Pinkie appeared and shoved a cupcake in her mouth. “Silly Dashie! Arguing is for other ponies, not friends,” she said with a giggle. Dash tried to spit the cupcake out, but she shoved another one in. Dash glared murderously at her.
“Alright girls,” Twilight said with a nervous chuckle, “Calm down now.”
Twilight’s words did nothing to quell the rising storm.
“Pinkie Pie,” Dash said dangerously, “If you put another cupcake in my mouth, I swear I will--Mmph!”
Pinkie’s smile reached the point where even her lips strained to go wider. “Friends, Dashie! We’re friends. And friends don’t fight.”
Dash spat the cupcake out. “That’s it!” With a battlecry, she launched herself at Pinkie Pie. The two mares tumbled around on the floor. Dash’s hooves moved with murderous intent, but Pinkie giggled and rolled and twisted out of the way. Another cupcake went in Dash’s mouth, which did nothing to improve the situation. Fluttershy wanted to reach out and take them from her, but she didn’t want to be anywhere near Rainbow Dash right now.
Applejack’s lasso jerked Rainbow Dash up and off Pinkie Pie. “Whoa there, sugarcube!” the farmpony said, “There’s no call for that. Calm down now and we can talk about--” Dash turned and slugged her across the jaw. Applejack’s eyes lost focus for a moment, but only a moment. She blinked at Dash, who looked a little hesitant. “Ya’ll seem to be mighty worked up over something.”
“Noticed that, did you?” Dash growled. The lasso tightened around her. “Let go of me, Applejack, or I’m coming for you next.”
Applejack’s eyes narrowed, but she did not move to free Dash. Dash pawed the ground in preparation for a charge. Pinkie Pie bounced around the room. A cupcake appeared out of her mane, primed and ready. Fluttershy decided now was a good time to hide under the table.
The sound of magic interrupted the fight. “Enough!” Twilight ordered, “Everypony, please sit down.”
“But--” Dash protested.
“Sit down or I’ll put you all in straight-jackets until you calm down.” Twilight’s tone brooked no argument. Fluttershy peeked out from under the table and saw them all gloomily taking their seats. Rarity sighed dramatically.
“Really, girls,” the fashionista said, “Fighting with each other now, are we? Tsk, tsk. What is your problem?”
“Problem?” Dash snapped, “We’ve got ponies saying Twilight should be thrown in jail! Or exiled to the moon or something else horrible! We can’t have that.”
“Rainbow, darling, I agree,” Rarity said, “We all agree. We’re all on the same side here.” Her eyes took on a hard glint. “So stop making a fool of yourself.”
“I’m not an idiot!”
“No one said you were,” Twilight said sardonically, “Rainbow, I know you’re upset, but that’s no reason to act out like this.”
For a moment, Fluttershy feared that Dash might launch herself at Twilight. But the mare thought better of it and sank into her seat. “You’re right,” she said with a bitter edge, “I’m out of control.”
“Well, we weren’t going to say it, but…” Rarity said. Dash’s face tightened for a moment, but only a moment.
Dash glared. “Can’t you just accept my apology and get this over with already?”
Fluttershy muttered her acceptance alongside the others, but her thoughts were elsewhere. Dash had felt powerful? Why? The only thing that mirror had done was make her feel empty and weak. Too weak to stop them. Too weak to save Equestria. Too weak to do anything but what she was told.
And so, here she was, a few months later, managing Twilight’s Facility for the Reformation of Ponykind. It’d been a compromise between Dash’s extreme position and Twilight’s desire to make Equestria a better place. After all, she had reformed Discord. There was nopony better qualified than her!
They were counting on her. They were counting on her and she couldn’t let them down. She couldn’t tell them. It wouldn’t be kind. She had to be kind. Her opinions would hurt their feelings. Better keep them to herself.
So here she sat, behind a desk, talking to a young thief named Two Penny. The stallion’s folder lay open in front of her. Caught stealing from a noble’s house. Suspected of several other thefts, but none of them were confirmed. The guards who sent him here described him as aloof, uncooperative, and smug. They were totally accurate.
Fluttershy smiled nervously at him. He leaned back in his chair and pretended to snooze. She could see his eye cracked open and watching her, though. Pegasi had sharp vision like that. Hers wasn’t nearly as good as Dash’s, but it was good enough. Or they were all pretending theirs were worse to make her feel better. She hoped it was the former.
She cleared her throat. “Two Penny? Two Penny, please wake up.” He ignored her and let out a snore. Fluttershy sighed. This was going well. “Um, if it’s not too much trouble, could we talk for a moment?” His eye opened. “What’s the rush, doll?” he said with a smirk, “We got nothing but time.”
Progress! He was talking! Fluttershy celebrated internally. “That’s...that’s true for you, I suppose. But I have several other appointments today and, well, don’t you have someplace better to be than here?”
He rolled his eyes. “Course I do. But it’s not like I got much choice in the matter, understand? Big bad guards come and haul me off to the clink. Not like you’re going to let me out now, right?”
“I…” Fluttershy shrank backwards. “I might.”
That caught his attention. His eyes narrowed. “What kind of jail are you running here? That ain’t right.”
“This isn’t a jail!” Fluttershy snapped. Immediately, she recoiled. “I-I mean, it’s not a jail. Jails are nasty and dirty and the guards are mean. There’s horrible food and you never see the sunlight. I worked hard to make this a clean, comfortable place for ponies to relax and...and think about their lives.” She offered him another nervous grin. “It’s not a jail.”
Two Penny nodded slowly. “Right. Well, gotta admit it’s better than any digs I’ve lived in before.” His eyes twinkled. “Mebbe even too good. Bet there’s some dark secret hidden in the basement, right? Got some pony slaughterhouse hidden down there? Or out in the shed?”
“N-no!” Horror covered Fluttershy’s face. “How could you even say something like that? That’s awful. Just awful.”
He laughed. “Messing with your head, doll.”
Fluttershy took a deep breath and latched onto the one thing she could think of to regain control of this conversation. “You mentioned you had somewhere better to be?”
“Yeah.”
She shifted and rested her head on her hooves. “Tell me about it. Er, if you don’t mind.”
He shrugged. “Ain’t much to tell. Got a sister out there. She’s seven. Probably lost without me.” A note of sadness entered his voice. “She’s a good kid. Nothing like me. Full of sunshine and rainbows.”
Fluttershy didn’t have entirely positive associations with rainbows right now, but she had her opening and pressed. “She sounds wonderful.”
“She is. The best darn sister a stallion could ask for.”
“And she’s alone? Isn’t there anypony out there to take care of her?”
“No. Nopony but me.” He winked at her. “So, you gonna let me out or you gonna let her wander the dangerous streets of Manehatten alone?”
Fluttershy smiled. Yes! More progress. “That depends on you.” She shifted. “I...well, I’ve been given a very important job. I am in charge of reforming ponies, see. So, if you can show that you’ve reformed, I’ll let you out.”
A glint appeared in his eye. “Heh. Easy enough.”
“We’ll see,” Fluttershy said. She closed his file. “Well, that’s it for now. I recommend you explore the facility today. We have a pool that might be to your interest. But please, think about this before we meet again.” He shrugged and made for the door. Fluttershy took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “You said your sister was the best pony in the world?”
He paused just outside the room. “And I’ll buck anypony who says differently.”
“Then think about what sort of example you’re setting for her when you steal.” She smiled at him, mostly to hide her anxiety. “Thankyouhaveanicedaybye!”
Angel Bunny slammed the door behind him. She let out a huge sigh of relief and sank into the chair. “Thank you, Angel.” He rolled his eyes and chomped down on a carrot.
Fluttershy peeked at the next name on her list, hoping it had changed. It hadn’t. She groaned and slipped away from behind her desk. She’d need some good tea before this next one.
* * *
“Good afternoon, Ms. Do,” Fluttershy said.
“Save it,” the adventurer growled, “I’m only here because your pet wolves growl if I don’t come.” She plopped down in the chair. “So let’s get this over with. What’s the newest reason why I should give up and hail Twilight?”
Fluttershy winced. “There’s no reason to be mean…”
“I suppose not,” Daring grunted, “But it feels good and relieves stress, which is very important for keeping a positive outlook in negative circumstances.” She smirked. “Besides, that wasn’t mean. I can show you mean, if you’d like.”
Fluttershy shrank back. “I don’t think I’d like that very much.”
“Suit yourself,” Daring said, “Well! I sat down, we exchanged a few words, seems like that’s everything on the schedule. We done here?”
“Um, well, we haven’t really started yet.”
Daring groaned. “Oh come on. I’m missing shuffleboard for this? You know how much I adore shuffleboard.”
Fluttershy frowned and flipped through her notes. “You’ve never played shuffleboard before.”
“Then it’s the perfect day to start.” Daring Do looked entirely too satisfied with her logic.
Fluttershy groaned and buried her head on her desk. “Please don’t be like this. Just one time, don’t be like this. Why do you do this to me?”
“Why’d you take over Equestria?” Daring snapped.
Fluttershy winced. “That’s...complicated.”
“Really? Because I read Twilight’s spiel and she made it seem so very simple.”
“Well yes. Twilight has very simple reasons,” Fluttershy muttered, “Good reasons. Logical reasons. Reasons that nopony in their right mind can argue with.”
A sly tone entered Daring’s voice. “Is that what you really believe?” Fluttershy did not respond. “Come on, Fluttershy. You know me. I’m never going to open up and ‘rethink my position’. I’m just too stubborn. But see, if I have a weakness (which I will deny until my dying day) it’s curiosity. So let’s make a deal. Question for question. Answer for answer.”
Fluttershy looked up. This was...different. But a good different. She hoped it was, at least. “Al-alright,” she said and cleared her throat, “You can go first.” It was the kind thing to do.
Daring Do grinned and rubbed her hooves together. “So why’d you do it?” she asked, “You, specifically. Not Twilight. Not Rainbow Dash. You.”
Fluttershy sighed. Right to the point. She should have expected that. “I’m the Element of Kindness,” she said, “That’s why.”
“Doesn’t seem very kind.”
Fluttershy raised a hoof. “Um, actually it’s my turn now.”
Daring Do rolled her eyes and gestured for her to ask a question.
“Why do you hate me?”
For a moment, Daring Do spluttered. “Hate you?” she repeated, “I don’t...I mean...that’s not...” She took a breath. “I don’t hate you.”
“That’s...good.”
Daring nodded. “Why would the being the Element of Kindness make you be so cruel?”
Fluttershy withered. “I...I wouldn’t say I’m cruel.”
“You run Equestria’s largest jail…”
“It’s not a jail!”
Daring raised an eyebrow. “You run Equestria’s largest prison. You’ve got your trained animals watching our every moves. And the only way out of here is to ‘reform’. Yes sirree! A few ‘Hail Twilight’s and you’re out of here, but Celestia help you if you dare disagree with a single word our supreme leader says. No! Bad pony. Back to the corner with you.” She leans forward. “Face it, Flutters. You’re running Twilight’s Time-out Corner. A neat little place to send all dissenting voices so she doesn’t have to listen to them.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “I only want to help. Let me help you, Daring.”
“Yeah. I had enough of your kind of help from my mother,” Daring said bitterly, “Always going on about how I should focus on getting together with somepony and starting a family. Nevermind that I was top of my class. Nevermind that I won so many flying competitions. No. Of course not. She was ‘only trying to help’ and ‘telling me what I needed to hear’.” Daring glared. “So save it. I’ve got no use for that garbage.”
Fluttershy’s eyes were wide. “C-can I ask a question now?”
Daring smiled. “Be my guest.”
Fluttershy took a moment to catch her breath. “So. If you don’t hate me,” she began, “What am I to you?”
“You’re an obstacle. A puzzle. And a difficult one. But I will find answers.” She leaned forward. “So about that. Last question. Why did the others want to topple Celestia, the best thing to happen to ponykind ever and loving ruler of Equestria?”
“Oh…” Fluttershy said, “Well...there was a mirror...and a stallion named Con Mane. He tricked us into looking in it and…” She winced. “It showed us the truth. I don’t know what they saw, but it made them strong. So terribly strong. I...I couldn’t oppose them, even if I wanted to.” She looked Daring right in the eye. “And neither can you. No pony or griffon or any other creature can.”
Daring’s eyes lit up. “Con Mane, huh? Interesting. Well, you have one more question. Don’t waste it.”
Don’t waste it. Fluttershy thought for a moment. “What would it take to reform you?”
“Discord staring into my eyes and swirling them around,” Daring snapped. She rose. “I think we’re done here now.”
Fluttershy raised a hoof to disagree, but the adventurer was already at the door. She sighed. “See you next week…”
“Perhaps,” Daring said with a laugh, “No prison can hold Daring Do! I’ll be gone by tomorrow.”
“Um, You say that every time.”
“And one of these days, it’ll be true.” Daring slammed the door behind her.
* * *
Fluttershy decided to step out for a moment. The plushly-carpeted halls were comforting. They were proof, tangible proof, that she at least had not changed. She’d done everything she could for these ponies. If only they’d see that, they could be happy. She wanted them to be happy. She did. She really did. There was no reason to feel bad. She was doing everything she could.
She looked down at her hooves. No reason to feel bad at all.
Discord made one of his charmingly nonsensical entrances. This time, he came in through a painting on the wall. "Well, that was entirely anti-climactic. He didn't even have a doom cult to support him. So boringly easy I could almost cry." He gave her a sly smile. “So…” he said, leaning on his mismatched forelimbs, “How’d the session with our VIP go?”
Very Important Prisoner. He’d made that joke a thousand times. It wasn’t funny. “Better and worse than I’d hoped,” Fluttershy admitted.
“Well! You simply must tell me all about it.” He snapped his claws and they were sitting in an office much like Fluttershy’s, but this time Discord was behind the desk. A nameplate that read, “Dr. Acon Equis,” lay on top and a pair of glasses perched on the Lord of Chaos’ nose. Fluttershy found herself reclining on a comfortable couch. Discord let some tea dribble from his mouth into a cup and handed it to her. “Go on,” he urged.
“Not now, Discord,” she said with a sigh. He gave her a hurt expression. She tried to smile. “It’s not you. I need some time to think. I...well, it’s that day again.”
His eyes changed. With a bored snap, the hallway reverted to its original state. “As you wish, Fluttershy,” he said.
She looked down at the carpet. It really was a very nice one. Top quality. “How is she?”
An amused smile crossed his lips. “Oh, she’s given up beating on the bars. For now. It’s a wonder she hasn’t fractured a leg yet. Pegasus bones are so much less durable than she is used to.”
Fluttershy nodded. “Well...has she got any better?”
“No.” He leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, “In fact I’m starting to think she doesn’t like me.”
Fluttershy nodded. “Thank you, Discord.” She squared her shoulders. “I, well, I suppose there’s no use in putting it off.” With that, she marched towards the stairs.
Down into the dark foundations of the facility she went, where the sun and moon never shone. It was a secure place built to hold the worst monsters, should the need arise. Buried, forgotten, locked away. That was how it was meant to be. But Fluttershy couldn’t forget. Nor did she want to. For now, it was home to a solitary pegasus, trapped inside giant metal bars. One Twilight insisted be called ‘Moonbeams’.
Fluttershy unlocked the door. A single key existed for this lock and only she could use it. If anypony else tried, it would burn them. A precaution, Twilight had told her with a smile, to keep her safe. Just one of many features of this room. Bars of adamantine enchanted with anti-magic spells. Wards galore, designed to counter every conceivable form of magic. And of course, if all else failed, it could be dropped right to Tartarus at the pull of a lever.
She put on her bravest face as she entered and faced the pony behind the bars. Yet still, she shuddered. She knew those features too well to see her as an enemy. Midnight blue, almost dark enough to fade into the shadows, a brilliant, bright mane like blue silver, and a cutie mark in the shape of the moon. Luna, Moonbeams, whatever they called her, she had been a friend.
A cold expression rested on the mare’s face. “Warden,” she said, “We do not find our accommodations satisfactory.”
“Oh.” Fluttershy looked at the pillows (torn to shreds), the chairs (broken into splinters), and the bed (neatly made, not a single wrinkle). “Is it the food? Do you prefer fruit tea to herbal?”
In response, Luna turned around and bucked the bars. They rang out with a long, piercing note. Fluttershy winced and covered her ears. With a piercing glare, Luna locked gazes with Fluttershy. “We are confined. No matter how nice the jail, it is still just that.”
“It’s not a…” Fluttershy took a deep breath. Of all the sections of her facility, this place was the most like a jail, despite her efforts to liven it up. Efforts that Luna had taken pains to destroy, all except the bed. “Well, if you wanted to move upstairs, that could be arranged.”
“The price is too high,” Luna said humorlessly. Her wings flared and she stalked forward. Even now, deprived of her power and three inches shorter than Fluttershy, the menace in her stride made the Element of Kindness retreat. “I will not bow before a usurper. And I will not debase myself for mere comfort’s sake!”
“Well I can’t just let you out,” Fluttershy said in the most soothing, apologetic, ohgodpleasestoplookingatmelikethat way possible.
“Then we shall consign ourselves to rot down here,” Luna growled and moved towards the bed.
Fluttershy extended a hoof as if to stop her. “Luna, please.”
“Luna?” The former princess whirled. “Have not thou heard?” she said, “Tis ‘Moonbeams’ now. Luna is dead and to be forgotten.”
“You don’t like being called Moonbeams though,” Fluttershy said.
Luna’s eyes narrowed.
“Luna, please,” Fluttershy held out her hoof. “I don’t like seeing you like this. It hurts me. Please, come with me. We can work things out. We can find a place for you. Celestia found hers. She’s Twilight’s advisor. They’re still inseparable. Maybe...maybe you’d like a position leading the guard or something.”
Luna rushed the bars and bounded off them. Fluttershy squeaked and jumped backwards. Her heart hammered in her chest. “Thou stealst our power.” Luna’s voice could have cut diamond. “Thou takes the moon from us. Thou imprisons us deep in the earth, far from her light. And still thou hast the audacity to say it ‘hurts’ thee? Let us out and then thou will feel hurt.”
“Of course it hurts me!” Fluttershy said. And it did. Every time she looked at Luna stabbed her in the heart. “And...and I understand why you feel so angry. But it won’t help. There’s...there’s nothing you can do. The sooner you accept that and move on, the sooner you can be happy again.” She offered Luna a smile. “Don’t you want to be happy, Luna?”
“A fool is happy when he’s had too much to drink. I am a princess. I have my duty first.”
“But you aren’t any longer! You don’t have to worry. You can focus on your own happiness now.” Fluttershy looked deep into Luna’s eyes and tried to force her way past the rage and anger there. “Luna, tell me, if you would be so kind, what was your happiest moment?”
Luna paused and blinked. She stared into Fluttershy’s eyes for a few more seconds. “Celestia,” she said, “My sister. When I returned and...you and the others saved me, I was so scared.” Fluttershy noted with a pleased feeling that she’d dropped the Royal We. “Even when she told me she meant me no ill-will, I feared that what she said in public would be forgotten when we were in private. And I was so much weaker than her.”
Luna looked down. “But she gathered me into her arms and, as I cried to sleep, she held me and sang me songs. Waking up with her still there, watching over me, that was the happiest I ever felt.” She glared. “And thy friend Twilight Sparkle took that from me.”
“Well, it can be yours again,” Fluttershy offered, “Just, um, say the words. The ones Twilight wants you to say. We know you would never break an oath.”
Luna hesitated, her gaze still held by Fluttershy’s eyes. This might be a little underhanded, but it also might work. Fluttershy needed it to work. She needed to save Luna from herself and her pointless resistance. Didn’t she know? Didn’t she see? Or could only Fluttershy see the truth? Resistance was futile and only brought pain. It was better, no, kinder to show Luna this. She would be better off for it.
She stepped closer to the bars. “Luna,” she said, “Take my hoof. We, at least, can be friends, right?” Luna did not respond. “Please?”
Luna wavered, but she did not avert her gaze. Her eyes were so beautiful and bright. Fluttershy could almost see herself in them. “Thou art my friend, Fluttershy,” she said, “But I do not understand why thou acts this way.”
“I, well, I simply help ponies come to terms with reality,” Fluttershy replied, “I free them from the, um, how did it go? I free them from the burden of thinking their responsible. And, by showing them the truth, I set them free to be happy, despite the changed circumstances.”
“You smother them!”
Fluttershy heard her own voice shouting at her. But that was impossible, so she ignored it. Luna’s eyes alone held her attention. Focus. Focus only on Luna. You can do it, Fluttershy. You stared down a cockatrice.
Perhaps she could see herself in Luna’s wavering eyes. Yes, a dim outline. But that wasn’t right. Her eyes weren’t streaked with tears and her mane wasn’t that messy, was it? “You’re a monster,” she heard herself whisper hoarsely, the same way she did after crying, “You think it’s kindness, but it’s not. It’s cruelty. You take away hope. You’re afraid and...and turn that fear into a disease. You...”
Fluttershy blinked and looked away. The voice faded immediately. Luna shook her head to clear it. When their eyes met again, the rage and anger were back stronger than ever. Failure.
“Get. Out,” Luna hissed.
Fluttershy fled. She fled back to her office and locked the door. Her bedroom lay behind it. The pillows and blankets would comfort her. She could curl up and cry all she wished. Oh, how had things ever grown so awful?
She wept for hours and never noticed the yellow eyes watching her nor the red pupils that flared in anger. She never saw the claws that stroked a chin and the smile that told of a plot forming. She never noticed, at least not in time.
Twilight tried to concentrate on her visitor. She really did. This was an important meeting, after all. Black Tie was the premier event organizer in Canterlot. Pinkie Pie would never have approved, but the Grand Galloping Gala couldn’t be done with party streamers and balloons. It required, as Rarity put it, a very large amount of class. Fortunately, Pinkie had gone off to Las Pegasus to plan her own party right there.
Yes, it was important. She needed to pay attention. But she was so self-conscious right now. Sunny was sitting there, watching her, evaluating her, and with the smuggest smile on her face. Twilight knew her former teacher could see how uncomfortable she was. The twitch of her ears, the way strands of her mane poked out, and the way her wings shifted constantly, trying to find a comfortable position.
“Um, sorry.” Twilight put a hoof to her forehead. “Could you repeat that?”
Black Tie huffed. “Of course, Empress. In summary.” He emphasized the word summary just a little too much. “I have here a selection of the finest drinks from this year’s selection. Sample them, if you will, and decide which is best to your liking.”
Twilight blinked. Oh dear. She’d never been one for this kind of thing. Strong spirits and research, especially magical research, did not mix. “Oh,” she said, “Oh.” She sat back. “Oh-kay then.” With a tentative grip, she picked up the first glass and sipped it. Yep. Definitely alcohol. Other than that, she had no clue how to evaluate it. “It’s…” She tried to find the right word and pulled a trick out of Fluttershy’s repertoire. “Nice.”
Sunny leaned forward and took it from her. She sipped delicately and savored the taste. Her eyes closed and she breathed out with a smile on her face. “Oh Black Tie, that is delightful champagne. It just sits so nicely on the tongue. But...” She gave him a mischievous grin. “You never put your best offering first. And I should know. So come now, stop teasing us.”
Twilight forced a smile onto her face. “Yes. Do, er, that.” She felt Sunny’s smugness grow.
Black Tie bowed. “As you wish, my lady.” Twilight’s eyebrow twitched. Was he talking to her or Sunny? The regal stallion moved several glasses down. “This,” he said, “Is several hundred years old. 1179. A good year. Very fine wine. For the regal table, of course.”
“Oh, Applejack and Rainbow Dash will want cider,” Twilight said, “And Pinkie drinks so much soda I think her blood has been replaced with it. Somehow.” Black Tie’s composure broke. He paled. Twilight realized she’d done something wrong, but couldn’t grasp quite what. “But Rarity loves wine! And...well, Fluttershy doesn’t drink anything other than tea and water.” She offered him her best, friendliest smile.
Sunny stepped forward and took the glass. Twilight’s eyebrow twitched again. The pegasus mare sipped delicately. “Now, you have outdone yourself,” Sunny said with an almost flirtatious giggle, “I remember the year this was made. Such succulent grapes. Good to see the Vine family thought to put some away. How are they doing nowadays?”
Black Tie bowed. “As well as ever. The eldest son, Tangled Vine, took over from his father not even a year ago. The quality has only risen, I assure you. I would never dream of doing business anywhere else.”
Sunny laid a hoof on his shoulder, bringing a blush to his cheeks. “Give them my regards next time you see them.”
“As you wish, my lady.”
Twilight ground her teeth. “We’ll take the wine.”
Sunny bounded back to her side. “Excellent choice, Twilight. You may never taste quality like that again. Believe me, I’ve had more than my share of wines over the years.” Sunny settled back into her seat beside Twilight and smiled at Black Tie.
Twilight cleared her throat. “I think we’re done here. Black Tie, just pick whatever you think is best.”
“Now Twilight.” Sunny pouted. “Surely you jest. It would be rude to have him bring all this to the palace specifically for you and not do him the courtesy of sampling it all.”
Twilight sighed. This was going to be another long day.
She sipped and sampled. She tasted and tested. After the first ten, however, her senses began to dull. She found it harder and harder to pay attention to what Black Tie was saying. He handed her glass after glass and she dutifully drank it. Sunny thought she was rude, eh? She’d show her. She knew all about etiquette. She’d annotated a book on it! Black Tie had brought her all these fancy drinks? Well, what better way to show that she appreciated his efforts than to drink the entire glass. Forget sipping. Down it.
And so she did. Glass after glass until even her powerful body began to feel ill. She swayed. When had Sunny learned a duplication spell? That was silly. Pegasi couldn’t do magic! Twilight had specifically turned her into a pegasi because she was too dangerous as a unicorn and earth ponies were too strong. She knew what she was doing, and let nopony say otherwise! She’d used a checklist. How could you go wrong with a checklist?
“It’s gooood shtuff, Black Tie,” she said with a giggle.
Black Tie glanced over at Sunny. The mare gave him a sly smile and a nod. He bowed to her. “Perhaps, Empress, it is time we stopped for the day,” he said.
“No!” Twilight lurched forward and clutched at him. Her crown fell askew, but she didn’t notice. “You came -hic- you came all this way. Give it all to me, Black Tie. I’ll...I’ll drink every last drop.” She grinned and pointed in Sunny’s direction. “You hear that, Sunny? Every. Last. Drop. What are...what are friends for anyway?”
Sunny sighed. “Oh Twilight. No need to call me that. I told you to just call me Celestia.”
Twilight frowned. Something was wrong here. She couldn’t put a hoof on it. “Books,” she muttered, “Need books.” Her magic shakily grabbed several waiting tomes. However, before she could even open the first page, her eyes rolled up into her head and she fell asleep on the carpet.
Celestia laughed. “Oh excuse me, that’s terribly rude.” She gave Black Tie an amused look. “And I believe I owe you some bits for our wager. She is very passed out, as you can see, which means you win.”
“My lady,” he said with a tight, proper smile, “The amusement today has brought is payment enough.”
“But I insist.” Celestia trotted behind the throne and pulled out a set of official looking forms. With practiced dexterity, she wrote her name on the line and an amount below it. “Fifty bits. To be paid to the order of Black Tie,” she said and handed it over. He accepted it and stuck it into his jacket pocket.
“Well, I had best pack my things and take my leave,” he said, “Before she wakes up.”
“Come visit anytime,” Celestia said, “My door is always open.” She stepped to the door and poked her head out. Two of the Imperial Guard stood watch, Steel Shield and Stone Tower, both earth ponies. She cleared her throat. “Gentlestallions, if you would step inside for a moment.” Without hesitation, they obeyed. She smiled warmly at them. “The Empress is currently indisposed. Something she drank. Would you ensure she makes it to her room? It would be a tragic blow were she to come to harm.”
They exchanged glances. “But Prince-- Advisor, we have a crowd of ponies waiting for the daily hearing session. What should we do with them?”
Celestia’s smile widened. “Oh, don’t worry. I am perfectly capable of dealing with them myself. You two make sure nothing happens to the Empress.” They saluted and hoisted Twilight up onto their shoulders. Celestia turned for the door and stepped outside.
As always, a large crowd waited. Though perhaps they were not as eager as they had been when Celestia herself had heard their petitions, they still came by the hundreds. Now, they chattered and paced and stamped and read and waited until the time when the Empress would hear their concerns and requests. Well, at least that was what they thought. Today would be different. Better.
Celestia cleared her throat. “Everypony, your attention please.” The hall fell silent. “I understand that many of you have come far, but unfortunately the Empress is unable to see you today.” The ponies groaned and began to mutter angrily. Celestia raised a hoof. “However,” she said with a sly smile, “I am her chief advisor. Thus, I am both qualified and able to hear you in her place.” She turned and threw the doors open. “Citizens of Equestria, it is my distinct honor to welcome you back to the Court of the Sun.” A twinkled appeared in her eyes. “So, who will be first?”
* * *
Twilight barely roused herself in time for sunset. Then, she collapsed back in bed and didn’t wake until four the next morning. A pounding headache assaulted her senses. She groaned and lay there, miserable. Relief, she needed relief. Curse Sunny and her alcohol tasting! She should have left it to the professionals. Delegation was a very important skill in a leader. One she’d have to read up on some more.
She reached for her books and pain exploded behind her eyes. The kitchen, the kitchen was sure to have something for hangovers. With a groan, she shoved the covers aside and flopped onto the floor. Oh the sweet, comforting, cool tile floor. She lay there for a few seconds. Why not lay here and let the pain flow away? No, that wouldn’t work. Some tea, though. One of the cooks kept a special tea meant to soothe headaches.
She tottered over to the door. Someone had left it slightly ajar. Odd, but she wasn’t going to worry about that right now. She could do that after her headache stopped hosting a hundred-pony marching band.
She pushed the door open. It was a poor decision. With a clattering crash, a bucket fell down on top of her head and doused her mane and back with water. She gasped in shock. The scent of perfume, strong perfume, assaulted her nose. “Great…” she muttered. With an angry kick, she sent the bucket flying.
She almost gave up on the day right there. Now her headache was ten times worse and she smelled like...like… She sniffed. She had no clue. Rarity would know, of course, but the fashionista wasn’t here right now, thank Celestia.
Twilight froze. She ground her teeth. Good-for-nothing headache! It was messing with her thoughts now. Normally, she was so controlled.
At long last, she staggered down into the kitchen. Several guards and servants sniffed the air as she passed. A few blushed and looked down. She didn’t stop to ask for an explanation. Let them do what they want. She had a date with tea.
The kitchen staff was already hard at work preparing for the day. They were kind enough to ignore Twilight when she entered. Sunny sat at the table, bright-eyed and perky, despite the early hour. Somehow. A smile crept over her face when she saw Twilight. “Good morning, Twilight Sparkle,” she said warmly, “How was your evening?”
“You,” Twilight growled, “You!”
Sunny raised an eyebrow. “Me? Why whatever is the matter?” She sniffed the air. “And heavens above, Twilight! I believe congratulations are in order. I didn’t realize you were looking for a special somepony. You must tell me all about it.”
Twilight’s glare morphed into a frown. The words felt foreign. She couldn’t quite process them. “Special...somepony?”
“Yes,” Sunny said smugly, “That perfume. It’s one that pegasi use to try and attract ponies. Very traditional, though in modern times it’s no longer an open-ended invitation. Instead, a mare wears it when she’s going to meet the pony she wishes to enter a...” She gasped and put a hoof to her mouth. “Twilight! Am I the pony? Why, I’m flattered. An old mare like me. Why, I could be your great, great, great, great, great, great, great--”
“Sunny.”
“Great, great, great, great-”
Twilight put her hooves over her ears. “Sunny, stop.”
“Great, great, great-”
“Sunny!”
Sunny held up a hoof for her to be silent. “Great grandmother.” She beamed at Twilight. “Oh, you have no idea how happy this makes me.” Twilight heard some whispers and giggles from the kitchen staff. Sunny leaned closer. “Though before you carry me off into the sunset, we should check the royal records. I don’t recall off the top of my head if I did give birth to one of your ancestors. That would be...awkward.” The giggles grew louder.
“Her face,” a pony whispered.
“I know! Priceless.”
Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “You planned this, didn’t you?” she said with venom in her voice.
Sunny let out a sigh. “Oh dear. I fear I made a mistake. It’s not me you’re after, is it?” An absolutely mischievous grin came over her face. “It must be Rainbow Dash. She does come by so often and you two go off on those long, private talks.”
“Sunny!” Twilight’s horror was evident. “Dash is a good friend. A very good friend. But…”
“Then it must be Fluttershy.”
“No, Sunny, stop thi--”
“Or that guard. What was his name again?”
Twilight slammed a hoof on the table, ignoring the pain it brought to her head. “Enough! I’ve had it up to here with you and your pranks! Dumping water on me in the garden. Fish in my tea. Dirt instead of pepper. Sugar instead of salt. Salt instead of sugar! And don’t even get me started on the Poison Joke extract.”
Sunny shrugged. “Well, you can hardly blame me if Zecora sent the wrong bottle. I honestly could have sworn that was tonic.”
“This cannot go on, Sunny. How am I supposed to govern Equestria if I have to watch my back every minute of every day for your next, foalish prank?” Twilight snapped. Her eyes narrowed. “Oh. I see.”
“Very clever,” Twilight said with a dark chuckle, “Very clever indeed. But two can play at that game. I think I know just what to do with you, my loyal advisor.”
* * *
“Thanks fer invitin’ us to the castle, Twilight!” Apple Bloom said, “Now, we can see our sisters more often.”
“Oh trust me, girls, It’s my pleasure,” Twilight said, “Let me introduce you to the pony who’ll be taking care of you.” Twilight shoved Sunny toward the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “This is Sunny Skies. Say hello, Sunny.”
“Hello, Sunny,” Celestia repeated.
“Heh, heh. Clever,” Twilight said with a forced grin, “Well! I’ll leave you girls to it. Remember, if you want anything, anything at all, no matter how late the hour or outrageous the request, ask Sunny. From this day forth, it is her job to get you whatever you want.” The three fillies’ eyes widened. “Anyway, I’ve got to get back to ruling Equestria. There’s a Gala to plan, after all.” Whistling merrily, she trotted off and left the fillies alone with Celestia.
There eyes turned to the former alicorn. Celestia gave the trio a worried grin. She knew these three by reputation and from experience. Word of mouth said the three had calmed down a little since getting their cutie marks, but she knew better than to trust hearsay. “I want a milkshake!” Sweetie Belle declared.
“Cookies for me.” Scootaloo wrapped a hoof around Apple Bloom’s neck. “And Apple Bloom wants apple pie.”
“Hey!” Her friend glared at her. “Just ‘cause I’m an Apple doesn’t mean I only eat apple stuff.”
Scootaloo grinned. “But you want apple pie, don’t you?”
“Well...yeah.”
Celestia nodded. “Right. I’ll get...on that.” She trotted away quickly. “Alright, Twilight,” she muttered, “If this is how you want to play the game, I’ll play along. Shake for Sweetie Belle, cookies for Scootaloo, and a pie for Apple Bloom. And cake for me.” She checked to make sure she was alone before letting out a devious giggle. “Twilight, my dear. You’ve made a very big mistake.”
* * *
Twilight felt energized and excited for once. Sunny Skies hadn’t pulled a prank for two, whole days. No need to worry about her. The Cutie Mark Crusaders had her running herself ragged fulfilling their every wish. The few times she’d spotted the poor pegasus, she’d been flying full-speed down the hallway.
She finished her lunch and wiped her mouth. The balcony overlooking the gardens really was a picturesque spot for meals. And close to the Court of Harmony too. She was so glad she’d discovered it.
A trio of squeals drew her attention to the garden below. With an amused smile, she glanced over the edge and saw the three fillies splashing about in one of the fountains. One of the attendants cantered about in distress, but Sunny kept blocking his way. Twilight’s smile grew. The plan was working! Sunny looked absolutely worn out. Her mane was sticking out at odd angles, her feathers needed a grooming, and she was covered in dirt. Now, Twilight really could rest easy.
She left in good cheer. If she’d stayed but a few minutes longer, she would have seen Celestia finally shoo the attendant away and turn to her three wards. With a whoop, she charged and jumped in with them. A wave of water washed over the three fillies and they shrieked with laughter. Sweetie Belle fired the first return shot. Her telekinesis sent a huge splash of water right back at Celestia. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo followed suit.
Celestia shielded her face with her wings and dove under the surface. Swimming underwater as a pegasus was difficult thanks to the extra drag from the wings, but she still managed to push herself off the side and torpedo herself towards them. They laughed and backpedaled, but Apple Bloom was too slow. Celestia caught her round the middle with strong forelegs. She rolled over quickly and launched the filly into the air with all four of her hooves. Apple Bloom squealed in delight and landed with a heavy splash.
“Awesome!” Scootaloo swam up to Celestia. “Do that to me next, Sunny. I want to--Whoa!”
Celestia wasted no time. She seized Scootaloo, spun her around a few times, and launched her high into the air. The young pegasus’ wings flapped, but in their waterlogged state, they did not even slow her descent. She landed with another mighty splash.
That left one to go. Celestia turned to Sweetie Belle with a predatory smile. Sweetie giggled and swam backwards. Celestia lunged. It was no contest. The unicorn filly landed next to her friends and sent another wave of water over them.
Apple Bloom shoved her mane out of her face. She glanced left to Scootaloo, then right to Sweetie Belle. They grinned. “Get her!” Apple Bloom shouted. They paddled toward Celestia with all their might.
With a laugh, Celestia tried to take off, but her wings were too heavy. She made for the shallows, but it was too late. The three of them latched onto her and worked in unison to shove her off her feet. She fell with a yelp and another splash. The four of them came up laughing.
“You’re a great pony, Sunny,” Sweetie said.
“Yeah.” Scootaloo lounged on the surface of the water, letting herself float. “You’re the only adult other than Rainbow Dash who can keep up with us. And she normally cheers me on. She doesn’t, you know, participate.”
“Well thank you, my little fillies.” Celestia pulled herself out of the water and shook her mane. She looked down at herself and smirked. “But I should thank you. I’m soaked, dirty, my mane is tangled, and I haven’t had more fun since I was a filly.” Those were good memories. Happy memories, even.
She debated asking them to take a break, but was pleasantly surprised to find she didn’t need to. Their energy, their enthusiasm, it was infectious. She felt like she could do this for hours still. So instead, she shook herself a second time, especially her wings. Then, she took to the air and let the wind do the rest. On a whim, she did a flip. The three fillies cheered. Celestia smiled. There it was, all the encouragement she needed.
She pulled out all the stops. Though she was no Wonderbolt, she prided herself in her excellent flying skills. Of course, some of her style had depended on using magic to support some of the tighter turns and sharper ascents, but she compensated well enough. Her audience shouted out requests and cheered her on when she succeeded or encouraged her when she didn’t quite make it. But every show had to end. With a flourish, she dove and landed right next to the fountain.
“So!” she said eagerly, “What’s next?”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders exchanged glances. One by one, they pulled themselves from the pool and shook themselves dry. At least, as dry as could be expected. They looked to each other again and still no one answered.
“Well,” Apple Bloom began, “Let’s start with a list of everything we have done.”
Sweetie Belle cleared her throat. “Hear ye, hear ye! The official record of the Cutie Mark Crusaders Canterlot Adventure! Day one: Twilight gave us Sunny Skies as a personal valet. We tested her to see if there were things she wouldn’t do and found none. She brought us all the sweets we asked, let us stay up as long as we wanted, and didn’t once tell us to get our hooves off the furniture or anything like that.”
“I was ordered to do whatever you wish,” Celestia said with a smile, “Though I do wonder what Twilight will think when she turns over the pillows in the library and finds them covered in hoofprints.”
“Day two,” Sweetie Belle continued, “We went on a tour of the palace. And we got to see everything. Even where Starwhirl--”
“Starswirl,” Celestia corrected.
“--Kept his lab. And all the cool magic junk in there. We almost turned Sunny into a newt, but she got better.” Sweetie Belle cleared her throat. “Day three, we took mattresses and surfed down the stairs. We tried to bake a cake. We succeeded in sneaking into the guard barracks. They got mad, but Sunny talked them down. Then, we explored the garden and picked out the perfect place to build a treehouse.”
Apple Bloom brightened. “An’ the wood should arrive tomorrow. We’ll have a second clubhouse by the end of the week.”
Sweetie grinned. “Day four, today. As a thank you, we got up really early and baked Sunny pancakes. They were...edible. And syrup masked the burnt flavor nicely. Then, we dragged her out of bed and made her fly us around the palace. Afterwards, we went swimming. Now...now...hmm.” She frowned in concentration. “Now we should...um...play a board game?”
Scootaloo scoffed. “You can do that if you want, but I’m not going to.”
“The palace does have a lovely spa,” Celestia offered, “I’m sure an athlete such as yourself would enjoy a massage.”
“No thanks,” Scootaloo said, “I’m a cool filly.”
“I kinda want to see the garden again,” Apple Bloom said, “I’ve never seen some o’ those plants before.”
“Boring,” Scootaloo declared.
Celestia stepped closer. “Scootaloo, if you had your choice, what would we do?”
Scootaloo grinned. “I want to set up a daredevil scooting track so I can get really high.”
“But neither of us can scoot, Scoots,” Apple Bloom protested, “We should try somethin’ we can all do.” Scootaloo and Sweetie nodded. All three pondered the problem, giving it the closest attention they could give anything.
Celestia cleared her throat. “If you don’t mind,” she said, “I might have a suggestion.”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders blinked in unison. “Go on,” they chorused.
With a smirk, she leaned in. “How do you three feel about pranking the palace staff?”
* * *
“Ya did what now?”
Twilight chuckled nervously. “Well, Sunny was making my life impossible, Applejack. I had to do something. And I know from experience how much of a hassle they can be to keep in line. So I thought handing Sunny over to them would keep her distracted.”
Applejack took her hat off and held it to her chest. “Twi, it’s been real nice knowing ya. I promise I’ll say something real nice at your funeral.” She shook her head. “How’s that been working for ya so far?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “It’s going better than expected. I saw Sunny this morning. She looked completely out of her depth.”
Applejack wasn’t convinced. “I dunno. She did raise you, so I don’t think she’s out of her element with fillies. An’ I know my sister and her friends. They’re more trouble than a whole herd of cats.”
Twilight wasn’t sure if she should be insulted by that. “Regardless, the past few days have been prank-free. I can finally focus my full attention on ruling the nation again. It is a welcome relief. I was almost going crazy.”
Applejack took a nervous step back. “Well...if ya were feeling crazy, you’d tell me right?”
“Why?”
“Well…” Applejack chuckled nervously. “Ya ain’t exactly pleasant to be around when ya act crazy-like.”
Twilight glared and retorted. Applejack eventually apologized, but by the time the conversation got back on track, they were onto other matters. The Cutie Mark Crusaders and Celestia were, for the moment, forgotten.
* * *
The castle had never known such terror. The four ponies tore through it like a force of nature. Between the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ natural enthusiasm and Celestia’s devious mind and ability to plan, nopony was safe and no space was sacred. Invisible ink in the scribe’s inkwells. Helium-cream in the guard’s drinks (ever heard a drill sergeant try to chew somepony out with a high-pitched, squeaky voice?). And lastly, the Great Cookie Heist, with a gallon of milk to go with them.
When the end of the day came, the three fillies collapsed into bed exhausted. “That,” Scootaloo said with a huge grin, “Was awesome.”
“Tell me ‘bout it,” Apple Bloom agreed.
Celestia sat in a chair beside their bed, a massive, four-poster affair over a hundred years old. The original mattress had been replaced for a more comfortable one, but Celestia’s orders had been to fulfill their every wish.
She chuckled. “Well I’m glad you enjoyed it. I never did get the opportunity to get to know you last time we met.”
“Last time?” Sweetie Belle repeated.
“Well, Celestia said, “You were at Cadence’s wedding, correct?”
“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle said, “It didn’t go so well.”
Scootaloo studied Celestia carefully. “I mean, you do look familiar, but I don’t remember meeting you before this visit.”
“I did look a little different back then,” Celestia admitted.
“Ooh! Did you grow your mane out?” Sweetie guessed.
“No.”
“Dye your coat?” Apple Bloom asked.
“No, guess again.”
“Um…” Fashion was not Scootaloo’s forte. “Er, did you...what else do ponies do to make themselves look different?”
“Were you wearing a dress?” Sweetie asked.
“No,” Celestia answered, “But I was wearing a crown.”
Confusion filled their faces for a moment. Then, their eyes nearly popped out of their head. “Princess Celestia!” they shouted in unison. They leapt out of bed and crowded around her, babbling over each other.
“What happened?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Did you lose a fight?” Scootaloo hopped onto her back and waved her hooves where Celestia’s horn used to be.
“Are you okay?” Sweetie Belle looked worriedly into Celestia’s eyes.
Celestia waved the concern away. “Yes, I’m fine. And, well, if your sisters haven’t seen fit to tell you…”
“Nopony tells us anything,” Scootaloo muttered, “They whisper all the time, but they don’t tell us anything.”
“We thought you were sick,” Sweetie said, “And Twilight had taken over the kingdom until you got better. We had no idea this was what happened.”
Celestia could hardly believe her luck. “I was going to say, if they haven’t seen fit to tell you, then there is no reason why I shouldn’t.” They nodded eagerly. Celestia cleared her throat. “I was deposed by Twilight and her friends, your sisters, using the Elements of Harmony. Then, Twilight drained me of my magic and left me like this.”
Apple Bloom paled. “Did ya...did ya turn evil or something?”
Celestia shook her head. “No. Not that I know of. And Luna...they did the same to her, and I know for a fact that she was not corrupted again.”
The three fillies were silent for a long time. Then, Scootaloo raised her hoof. “Are...is Rainbow Dash evil then?”
“Evil ponies can’t use the Elements of Harmony,” Sweetie Belle said, deeply worried.
“But th’ Elements shouldn’t work on good ponies,” Apple Bloom said.
Celestia sighed. “These are all excellent points, my friends. And I do not know the answers. They are not evil, but something is different. They are the same at heart, but their minds are changed.”
“That…” Scootaloo flopped backwards. “That makes no sense.”
“Not especially, no,” Celestia admitted, “But the fact remains that I, the rightful ruler of Equestria, am deposed and held captive. Do you understand?”
The three of them nodded slowly. “Oh my gosh,” Sweetie Belle said, “And we gave orders to you!” Her face turned red and she dove under the covers. “We didn’t know! Please don’t be angry.”
“Angry?” Celestia laughed. “How could I ever be angry at you? I meant what I said. The past few days have been the most fun I’ve had since I was a filly. Centuries ago.” They perked up and grinned. “In fact,” Celestia said, “I have a mission for you, if you choose to accept it.”
Apple Bloom stood up and saluted. “Ya can count on us, Princess! Er, so long as it’s nothin’ scary or will get us thrown in jail or life-threatening.”
Celestia knew the things these fillies got up to. ‘Life threatening’ seemed the least of their concerns. “Oh nothing like that,” she said, “But...the Grand Galloping Gala is coming up, the first that Twilight has ever thrown.” They leaned closer. “And we’re going to make sure it is an absolute and complete disaster.”
Not that Rarity didn’t have a few critiques, of course. The green in the grass was a little too dull and faded into the background. The sunshine did cause a horrid glare if you stared too hard at the lake. Oh, it would make a perfect painting, but it did have its problems when you were actually in it. Besides, nature was more Applejack’s purview than hers.
Her carriage rumbled down the long road, pulled by two very muscular and toned stallions. Twins, even. Rarity could watch them for hours. She already had, in fact. It was nice to fantasize. And harmless. Nothing would ever come of it. She was a proper lady, after all, and the stallion she envisioned was refined, charming, and had a mind to match his body. She hadn’t met him yet, of course. And after the disastrous meeting with Prince Blueblood several years ago, she wasn’t about to tempt fate again. No, better to let him come to her.
The one other occupant of the carriage scanned the horizon, though not for the view. Rarity sighed. Hopeless, that pony. Tragic how these guardponies had no appreciation for such things. Always so serious. Her companion kept her wings ready and posture stiff, ready to leap into action at a moment’s notice. Rarity had told her to relax, almost ordered it even. This was a well-traveled road leading to Manehatten. There was no danger here. True, it wasn’t as safe as a train, but that wasn’t an option. The Seaside Bluff resort prided itself in its isolation, letting its elite clientele relax away from the cares of the world.
And Rarity had needed that isolation. She never would have guessed that high society could wear her out. But serving as Twilight’s envoy to the Canterlot elite exhausted her: body, mind, and soul. She needed to get away every so often. Going to the resort had been the right decision. Now she felt rested and rejuvenated, ready to maneuver around whatever challenges ruling Equestria presented.
Wind Crest, her all-too-serious bodyguard, leaned forward. “Dame Rarity,” she said, “I am going to take to the air for a bit. See if I can spot anything.”
“And what would there be to spot, darling?” Rarity asked, but the pegasus was already gone.
It wasn’t much of a loss. The mare hadn’t proven much for conversation. Her utterances mostly restricted themselves to “Yes, Dame Rarity”, “No, Dame Rarity”, and “By your order, Dame Rarity.” It was enough to drive a girl mad. Rarity sighed and pulled out her sketchbook. Idly, she drew the perfect dress for the dutiful mare. Hmm, perhaps the pegasus was intimidated by her? Or wanted to make a good impression? Nerves could make a pony act strange, even when--
The carriage lurched to a stop. Rarity almost fell flat onto her face. She fixed the twin stallions with a glare. “Hmph. A little warning would be nice next time. Why are we stopping?”
“Dusty Trail saw a snake,” one, Rusty Pail, said, “Right in the middle of the road.”
Rarity shuddered. She immediately regretted her harsh tone. “Oh dear. Be careful. I’m not trained in healing magic, so if either of you get hurt or poisoned, then we are all in quite a pickle.”
“Sure thing, Dame Rarity,” Rusty Pail said. The two brothers slipped from the yoke and headed to the rear of the carriage. “Got some equipment back here. Hope we have something useful.”
“Grab a stick,” Dusty muttered, “We can beat the grass with it as we go along. Flush them out before we step on them.”
Rarity nodded and resumed her sketching. They had this well in hand. So good to have capable ponies around her. The Canterlot nobles were mostly unicorns and, sad to say, many of them were unicorns who held dim views of earth ponies. Rarity mused. If she’d been raised differently, would she hold the same views? She hoped she wouldn’t, but one could never know what might have been. Well, there was a way, but Rarity had no desire to look in that mirror again.
She sighed. Perhaps a light green would bring out Wind Crest’s eyes? No, no, viridian. Light green would absolutely not work. She felt the carriage tilt and looked up to see Rusty Pail standing beside her. “Oh, hello,” she said, “Is there a--”
Quick as lightning, he lunged for her. His weight knocked her against her seat. Now, most high-society mares would scream, but Rarity had been in plenty of danger over the course of her life. She scoffed. Her magic for the nearest heavy, blunt object. A few raps on the head would deal with this rapscallion.
But she never got the chance. A cold, metal cuff snapped around her horn and the magic cut off. “Got her!” Dusty Trail whooped. Rarity grit her teeth and tried to kick the heavy stallion off of her.
“Forgive me if I don’t take the word of two foalnapping ruffians,” she said coolly.
Like a meteor, Wind Crest dropped onto Dusty’s head and knocked him down. Rusty whirled, Rarity held in his forelegs. “Stand down, miss,” he ordered the pegasus, “We have the Element of Generosity. You better back off.”
With a snarl, the mare threw herself at the stallion. Rarity braced herself for impact. It hurt more than she was prepared for. Wind Crest knocked all three of them off the carriage. Rarity was caught right in between them.
Well, nothing was broken. She took some comfort in that. Wind Crest was on top and Rusty groaned underneath her. She desperately tried to force air into her lungs, but all she could manage was a small gasp. Wind Crest recovered first and pulled her off the stallion. Into the dirt. Rarity felt a new wave of panic rise within her. Her mane! No! Anything but the mane!
Well, not anything. Not really. She prefered getting it messy than losing her vitals. But still, it was the sentiment that counted, right?
A gust of air finally washed into her lungs. The sounds she made were absolutely revolting, but the sweet kiss of oxygen so filled her mind that she didn’t care Wind Crest dropped her to the ground. “Stay here, my lady,” she said, “I will deal with--”
From behind, Dusty leapt at her. Rarity gave a strangled cry, warning enough for the pegasus mare to whirl to meet the attack, but not enough to meet it well. The heavy-set stallion crashed into Wind Crest’s side. The horrible snap of bone and the mare’s grunt filled Rarity with horror.
This wasn’t supposed to be happening! This was a supposed to be a lovely trip back to Manehatten! Not a life-or-death struggle. Rarity rose and tried to cast a spell. It flickered and faded. Right, the horn-cuff. So uncouth. Designed for criminals! Her hooves grasped at it. To her great fortune, the stallions hadn’t managed to get the lock to catch. It came off with a delicate flick of her wrists.
Both of her assailants were up now. They circled Wind Crest, whose left wing hung at an awkward angle. The poor mare also favored one of her hind legs. To her credit, she still stood against the traitors and did not utter a single moan.
Rarity’s magic flared to life. Her dressmaking required the levitation of many objects at once and there were a lot of stones around here. A swarm of them lifted up and surrounded her like a hive’s worth of angry hornets. She sent one apiece at the two stallions’ heads and hit them right between the ears. They yelped and shifted their attention to her. She smiled.
“Gentleponies,” she said, “Now is a good time to inform you that I no longer am in need of your services.” Excellent quip, Rarity, she told herself, all those detective novels are paying off. She held the rocks a little higher. “I suggest you leave. Now.”
The stallions exchanged glances. “Right you are, madam,” Rusty said with a slight bow, “We’ll be on our way. No reason to let things get out of hoof.” He gulped. Rarity rolled her eyes and sent another rock shooting past his head.
“If you’re leaving, then leave,” she said. The two of them disappeared down the road and left only a trail of dust behind them.
Rarity’s attention immediately turned to her wounded companion. “Wind Crest, darling, what happened? Are you al-- No, you’re hurt. That’s plain to see.”
“Wing’s broken,” the steadfast guard replied. She tried to stand at attention, but her leg spasmed and she stumbled forward. “Leg’s sprained too.”
Rarity snuck a peek at the injured wing. It hung at the wrong angle and Rarity fought the urge to heave. “W-well, I am an expert with a needle,” she said, “And a few other things. Give me a few minutes and we’ll see if we can’t rig up a splint or something.”
“That’s very kind of you, Dame Rarity.”
“Oh, think nothing of it,” Rarity countered. Really, she wanted to get to work. Work both distracted her and helped her focus on other, better things. The only fabric she had on her was some finely woven cloth, but she could easily afford to replace that. A few, straight sticks and Wind Crest had a splint on her sprained leg.
She looked at the bent wing and winced. “I’m going to have to set that.”
Wind Crest stiffened but nodded. “Go ahead.”
Rarity delicately gripped the mare’s wing. With a deep, calming breath, she prepared herself. Then, she pulled the wing into place. Wing Crest bit her lip, but it was too much. She screamed.
“I’m sorry, darling,” Rarity said, keeping it steady with her magic, “It’s over now. Let me…” Sticks and strips of fabric whirled around and formed another splint around the wing. Wind Crest panted heavily and collapsed to the ground.
“Thank you, Dame Rarity.”
“Think nothing of it,” Rarity said automatically. She glanced around at the empty fields. The only other ponies around were those two ruffians. She could see them galloping away. They’d be completely out of sight soon. “I don’t suppose you know of a good courier service around here?” she asked.
Wind Crest’s blank stare was all the answer she needed.
“Right. Just checking, darling.” Well, there was nothing for it. Rarity reached out with her magic and gripped the yoke of the cart. This was going to be quite taxing.
Under the power of her magic, the cart began to move. Rarity was practiced enough that it did not immediately strain her. Her long hours in her shop had honed her natural talents well enough. But after a half hour of crawling at a snail’s pace, she had to rest. All this sweating could not be good for her coat. She turned to Wind Crest, a sorry expression on her face. “Darling, I’m afraid we may have to walk. I won’t be able to keep this up all the way to Manehatten and--”
“What’s going on over here?”
Rarity jumped when another stallion’s voice came from the nearby field. A farmpony pushed his way out from the grass. A small filly poked her head out behind him, clinging to his rear leg. Oh good, not a bandit then. Salvation!
“Oh thank goodness!” Rarity put on her best elegant airs and descended from the cart. “Wind Crest is injured. She fought bravely to defend me, but the two…” She curled her lips in distaste. “...ruffians broke her wing. I set it and splinted it, but I don’t have any formal medical training. I--”
The stallion pushed past her, which she felt was very rude. “Ma’am,” he said to Wind Crest, “Is that the truth?”
“Honest as Applejack,” the guard replied.
The farmer relaxed. “Alright. You ladies get on that wagon. I’ll pull ya’ll back to the house. We’ll send for a doctor. Go on now.”
“Oh thank you!” Rarity said, “You have no idea what a relief--” He wasn’t listening to her. A bit put out, she helped Wind Crest get in the cart and clambered up herself. She winced a little in pain. Her back was stiff. She’d have to check it for bruises later.
The filly hopped up beside her. She grinned and bowed to Rarity and brushed strands of her mane back into place. She had natural good looks for a filly (a cute, young look that some mares tried to emulate even when grown). A nice mauve would really accentuate those freckles, and a ribbon in the hair… Put the mane in a braid. Yes! “Hi there, ma’am,” she said, “I’m Fresh Soil. Nice to meet ya. What’s yer name?”
“Rarity, darling,” she replied, “And might I say, you are absolutely adorable. You remind me of one of my sister’s little friends.”
The filly giggled. “Thank ya kindly, pretty lady.”
Rarity had been called pretty, beautiful, and variations thereof all her life. But recently, those that complimented her did so to get on her good side. Not that she minded all that much, but it was very different from the simple, honest compliment of a foal. And her mane was all messed up and coat covered in sweat too. Fresh Soil’s words warmed her heart.
Without help, the farmer hoisted the yoke onto his shoulders and trotted steadily down the lane. Rarity looked all around for a farmhouse, like Applejack’s back in Ponyville. There wasn’t one. Instead, a rough, wooden door led into an underground hovel. She shrank back in horror. Oh, this simply would not do! But Wind Crest needed some medical attention and it would be terribly rude to turn down the farmer’s hospitality now.
The pulled up in front and the farmer helped Wind Crest down. Fresh Soil held the door for them and glanced back at Rarity. “Ya’ll coming?”
“Well...” Rarity glanced around. “You know, it is such a beautiful day. I think I’ll stay in the cart for right now. Thank you.”
The filly frowned. “Suit yourself.”
The family came and went. Rarity discovered that the farmer and his wife had seven children, of which Fresh Soil was the eldest, and that they’d lived on this land for generations. How quaint. But unlike the Apples, they had been far less successful. Even the Hatfields and McColts had better places to live when they were too busy fighting to bother with much else.
Quick Step, the mare of the house, insisted she come out of the sun and in for some dinner. When Rarity refused, as politely as possible, the mare personally brought her some food. It was very basic, lacking any sort of spice like Rarity was used to. Merely bread and stew. But Rarity’s hunger and sense of propriety drove her to at least sample it. To her delight, it was not nearly as bad as she feared. She asked for a second helping.
As the sun went down and dinnertime rolled around, she decided to brave the inside of the house. It was not quite as filthy as she expected. The Diamond Dogs had been worse. And so she decided to relax and joined the family for dinner. “Doctor’ll be out of town until tomorrow,” the farmer said, “Ya’ll can rest here for tonight. If the doctor says you’re good to travel, I’ll haul your carriage into town myself.”
“That is very kind of you,” Rarity said.
The stallion shrugged. “Just being decent.”
Being decent was more than most ponies would do, Rarity thought grimly, especially the unicorns of Canterlot.
“Ya’ll can sleep in my bed tonight,” Fresh Soil said.
Rarity almost spewed the water she’d been drinking all over her host. “Oh I couldn’t possibly. Where will you sleep, darling?”
“The floor.”
“The floor?” Rarity cried in alarm, “Oh, no, no, no. That won’t do at all.”
“Then are you offering to?” the farmer asked.
Rarity shrank back and tittered nervously. “A mare of my elegance needs to have a certain regard for her appearances, darling,” she said, “But the carriage is comfortable enough. And the night air should be wonderfully cool. I can’t have you all sleeping on the floor just to accommodate me.”
The farmer’s eyes narrowed. “Lady, for a prissy unicorn, you’re awful considerate.”
“Well, it’s in my nature,” Rarity deflected, “Besides, it’s only decent. Isn’t that right?”
The family smiled.
“I’ll bring you some blankets,” Quick Step offered, “And a pillow.”
And so, Rarity found herself sleeping out in the carriage with Wind Crest. The pegasus mare fell into a deep sleep the moment her head struck the pillow. To be honest, it was much rougher and far less comfortable than she was used to. She found herself wishing for a single one of hers back at the castle.
But then again, she couldn’t complain. These ponies, poor as they were, had given everything they had (or at least offered it) to make a complete stranger comfortable. She understood generosity, and these ponies had it to spare. After all, it was her Element.
Doubt gnawed at the back of her mind. How many ponies like this family existed? Poor beyond measure with no hope of enjoying the finer things she took for granted? And yet they gave her all they could. Her, the Element of Generosity. What had she done for them lately?
These doubts followed her all the way to Canterlot.
***
The Grand Galloping Gala had always been one of Celestia’s least favorite duties. Rarity could see why. Her first time attending hadn’t been very successful. And each one after that had been disaster after disaster. It had almost felt like Celestia had been trying to sabotage the whole affair.
She sipped a glass of fine champagne and loitered near the rear of the room. No longer was she a bright-eyed stranger to these events. Now, she was a pony that others approached. A steadily shifting crowd had passed through her area all night, chatting amicably and making introductions. Networking, they called it. A concept that any good businessmare understood well. A few months from now, they could send her a letter and reference this meeting to get a hoof in the door.
Honestly, she should be doing the same. Tonight was a rare opportunity to speak with the elite of Equestria when they had their best faces on and the constant vying for position wasn’t quite so obvious. But tonight, her mind was elsewhere. All these ponies, these elites, had so much. She doubted that their hooves had touched dirt, actual dirt, in years. And as for eating grass, they would scoff at the very idea. Not so with the poor.
Duke Worthy Title engaged her in conversation. A greying old stallion, he was best known for his vast fortune and idle lifestyle. An expert on food, they called him. His tongue could distinguish between different years of cheese by the texture alone. His word held some weight amongst the nobles of southern Equestria.
“A lovely event, Dame Rarity, wouldn’t you say?” he said, “Even if there are a bit more balloons than normal.”
Rarity offered him a gracious smile. “Yes. Well, it is absolutely impossible to be friends with Pinkie Pie and not include a few more foalish decorations. Be glad she did not choose the musical accompaniment for tonight.”
She would have to remember to ask Pinkie to pay those farmers a visit. Her background would give her insight into what would most make them smile.
“Well, it seems to me an inspired decision,” the Duke said. It was a lie. Rarity didn’t know why he’d bothered saying it. To drop the subject would have been much less disingenuous.
“I will pass along your compliment,” she answered just as dishonestly.
“Where is the pink dear?” the duke said with a note of trepidation, “Is she in attendance?”
“Oh no,” Rarity said with a giggle, “She’s gone to Las Pegasus to, I quote, start the largest party that Equestria ever saw.”
He could not conceal a sigh of relief. “Well, I wish her the best of success.” And that she’ll stay far from here, Rarity mentally finished for him.
“As do we all,” she said, for entirely different reasons than he held. She wanted her friend to succeed. She wanted everypony to succeed and she was more than willing to help. She was the Element of Generosity. What else could she do?
Speaking of generosity… “Duke Title,” she said, “If I may discuss a personal matter with you?”
He seemed both surprised and pleased with this development. “Of course, madam. How can I be of assistance?”
“A short while ago,” she said, “I had a brief run-in with some of the poorest citizens in Equestria.” His face turned into a sympathetic mask, as if she had undergone some great personal tragedy. “I admit, I was in some distress. Bandits on the road, of a sort.”
“Terrifying,” he said, “But I hear that your friend Rainbow Dash is leading a crack-down on those types. We won’t be troubled with them for long.”
“Indeed,” she said, not willing to let the conversation wander from the point, “My bodyguard was injured and we were forced to spend the night on the farm. A little dugout in the side of a hill.”
“How dreadful.”
She glared at him, letting him know she did not appreciate his interruptions. “Yet despite how little they had to offer, they gave it all to make me comfortable, even though I was a stranger.” The duke nodded, but his eyes made it clear he did not understand her point. “And so, I’ve decided to start a fund. To repay their kindness with some of my own. And I was hoping a stallion of your wealth and influence would contribute.”
“Of course,” he said, “I can spare a few bits. Put me down for a thousand.”
It sounded impressive, but for one of his wealth, it wasn’t even a drop in the bucket. And even so, it wouldn’t go far with so many poor to be fed and cared for. Rarity tried to hide a grimace.
She smiled at the duke, but inside thoughts twisted around like snakes. How many ponies had sacrificed their lives to build his family’s fortune? How many had toiled and had everything taken from them? How many still worked from paycheck to paycheck in his employ? Did he do anything to relieve their plight? Any real thing, that is, not merely throwing his pocket change at it? How did he sleep at night?
“Thank you,” she said, “Now I believe I had better step outside and get some air.”
He bowed and let her be. Oh he was such a polite old stallion, she thought venomously.
She trotted swiftly to the balcony. In the gardens down below, the Imperial Canterlot Orchestra accompanied a lively waltz. Here, before her, ninety-nine percent of the wealth in all Equestria lay spread out for all to see. But all of it was held by less than one percent of the population.
Her eyes burned. How dare they? All of those puffed-up, snobbish ponies looking down their noses at the common folk. At least Blue Blood had been honest about his nature. He was scum and anypony who spent five minutes with him knew it. He made no effort to hide it. But these ponies pretended they were virtuous defenders of Equestria and upheld the nation’s interests.
No. The ponies like Fresh Soil were far better and yet they lived in squalor. These ponies right here could fix all this, yet they refused. If she could only instill a little generosity in them…
She caught her breath. A smile crept over her face. “No,” she said, “No, that’s not the answer.” She knew from experience not to try and change a noble’s mind. They were stubborn and all-too set in their ways. But now, she had power. She was the chief financial officer in all Equestria. She could force them to be generous.
There was no time to waste. Every moment spent here was another one that a family starved. She galloped for the doors and left the Gala. Thus, she was gone by the time Celestia and the Cutie Mark Crusaders made their move.
"Alright girls," Celestia whispered, "Tonight, we strike the first blow against tyranny. Tonight, you are no longer fillies. You are noble knights of Equestria. Tonight is where we set the fire of revolution!" She grinned. "And remember to have fun. Also, don't eat too many sweets. You've had a lot these past couple of days. Unlike Pinkie Pie, us regular ponies can get sick from it."
"Yeah, yeah," Scootaloo said. The young athlete stretched, preparing for her part of the evening, "Keep your feathers straight."
Celestia nuzzled her, ignoring her protests. "Now go, go my minions of chaos! Go and wreak havoc everywhere!" She giggled. "Oh my. I think Discord would be so happy if only he were here to see this."
-------------
Twilight strode through the crowd of her guests, smiling and exchanging pleasantries as necessary. She chuckled to herself. A few years ago, she would have dreaded the mere thought of this. But now, she was the Princess of Friendship, leader of the Elements, and ruler of the Equestrian Empire. This was all right up her alley.
Still, she couldn’t let herself get too distracted. A conversation with a friend was all well and good, but not if it pulled her away from something vital that needed her attention. She had to keep on her hooves here. Be ready to address the slightest flaw in her plans. Everything had to go right. She had to prove to the world that she was every bit as capable as she knew in her heart she was. And so, she kept a running checklist as she moved from room to room. Spike forbade her from using an actual checklist, but she'd trained mentally to keep it all in her head.
She hummed as she went. One of Pinkie Pie's songs. Now, was everything in order? Drinks? Check. The usual fair supplemented with some Sweet Apple Acres cider. She happily observed that it was just as popular as the other drinks.
Continuing. Refreshments? Check. Though without Sunny Skies’ influence, there was less cake. The ratio of cake to other deserts was at a much more reasonable level.
Music? Check. She’d hired musicians from back in Ponyville this time. Perhaps a bit of favoritism, but Octavia was the first string cello in the Canterlot Orchestra. Twilight had been hesitant to hire Vinyl Scratch at the same time, but she didn't regret it now. Somehow, they made classical and modern music blend well. It would be a sign to the guests that a new and brighter future was on its way.
She finished the less pressing items on her checklist and let out a small, happy sigh of relief. Everything was going according to plan. She looked up towards the sky. Yes indeed, nothing could possibly go--
A red bow was poking out over the balcony. She recognized that bow and it made her heart skip a step.
“The Cutie Mark Crusaders,” she said breathlessly, “Oh this is not good.”
She glanced around, trying not to show she was worried. Apple Bloom was on the balcony above the ballroom. Where were the others? Ah, there was Sweetie Belle (dressed in a very nice dress that blended in well with the crowd) talking to the Vinyl. The DJ was nodding excitedly. Twilight groaned.
Scootaloo. Find Scootaloo first. Look for something small moving really, really fast and…
“Is there a problem, Twilight?”
Twilight whirled and found herself staring into Sunny’s concerned face. “You were supposed to be watching them,” she said under her breath.
“Well, they became a bit bored with me, I’m afraid,” Sunny said with a placid smile, “I am just one pony, after all. They wanted to see the Gala and, so long as they were dressed appropriately, I didn’t see a problem with it.”
Twilight glanced around and smiled at the guests, some of whom were paying a bit more attention to this conversation than she would like. She draped a wing over Sunny’s back and pulled her aside. “You’re planning something,” she said.
“Twilight,” Sunny looked disappointed, “After all the years we’ve known each other, I should think it would be obvious. I’m always planning something. And…” A little fire entered her eyes and steel her voice. “It is always for the good of Equestria.”
There was a scream. Over her time as a hero of Equestria, Twilight had learned to distinguish between types of screams. There was the ‘oh sweet Celestia! A monster is trying to kill me!’ scream. The slightly different but more worrisome scream of ‘that thing-ponies-were-not-meant-to-see is looking at me! IT’S LOOKING AT ME!’ and then more mundane ones like, ‘I tripped and am now falling’ or ‘Pinkie Pie stepped out of a closet that was empty ten seconds earlier and now I’m startled’. This scream was the ‘my dress has just been ruined’ scream of a stuffy Canterlot noble.
All chatter ceased. The music cut out, but returned with a comical, “Whomp, whomp, whomp…” like somepony had given the wrong answer on a quiz game. Twilight heard Vinyl snicker. With a single glare at Sunny, she turned and stormed into the other room.
It was worse than she thought. Ms. Merry Melody, of the Canterlot Melodies, had whipped cream dripping down her face and onto her very expensive, custom-made dress. She looked shocked, stunned, and completely incapacitated. Twilight ran over and, in the direct, no-nonsense manner of a pony who’s faced danger many times, asked, “What happened?”
Merry slowly turned to look at her. “That...that filly. On a scooter, she--”
That was all Twilight needed to hear. “Where’d she go?” Somepony pointed in a direction and, without waiting for guard, Twilight took off. Sunny Skies watched her go, a small smile growing on her lips.
“So it begins,” she said. Then, she headed right for the drinks table. It had been a long time since she’d had a metabolism capable of getting drunk. No time like the present.
----------------
Five minutes.
For five minutes, Twilight Sparkle, Empress of Equestria and conqueror of a thousand enemies, chased a small, orange pegasus filly around the room. It was embarrassing and every second only increased her rising panic. The longer this went on, the more time the others had to plan something. But she couldn't let her go. She darted between nobles, throwing cream pies at their faces and laughing. But she could only go for so long.
“Gotcha!” Twilight cackled in triumph as she hauled Scootaloo into the air with her magic. The little pegasus struggled and kicked, but couldn’t escape the Empress’s telekinetic grip. She soon gave up and hung there, forelegs crossed and a pout on her face.
Twilight drew close, a smile frozen on her face. “Scootaloo,” she said, “what do you think you’re doing?” Disruptive or not, it wouldn’t do for the nobles to see her punishing a foal. Not to mention what Rainbow Dash would say.
“Redecorating,” Scootaloo said with a huge, cheeky grin on her face.
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Redecorating? With whipped cream pies?”
“Yep!”
Twilight ground her teeth. “Excuse me, everypony.” She dragged Scootaloo off into a corner. There, she could unleash a little bit more of her temper. “Scootaloo, why are you redecorating my guests’ faces with whipped cream?”
“Because you said we could do anything we want,” Scootaloo answered, “And it’s awesome. Besides, that wasn’t whipped cream. It was, um, quick-drying foam. Yep.”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “Where did you…?”
“Sunny Skies.”
“Why did she…?”
“You told her to do anything we told her!”
Twilight yanked a ribbon off the curtains with her magic and wound it around the pegasus filly. This was bad. Very bad. She should have paid more attention to Sunny and the Crusaders. With the authority of an adviser, who knew what supplies Sunny had procured for them? There was no time to waste. And so, over Scootaloo’s protests, she bound the filly tightly and ran to find the others.
A stallion stepped in front of her. “Oh, Princess Twilight,” he said, “I regret to inform you that we are running low on champagne. If we open more, it will be charged to the royal treasury.”
“That’s fine,” Twilight snapped, “Everything is fine.” Her brain scrambled to remember his name. It was that pony who brought in the drinks for her to sample. Black Tie. “Do whatever you want.”
He raised an eyebrow, but stepped aside. Twilight burst past and frantically looked around the room. Both Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had disappeared. No, no, no, no! This was bad. This was very, very…
“Hellooo everypony!” Vinyl Scratch’s voice boomed out of the speakers. Twilight whirled, didn’t see the Crusaders, and looked away. She’d berate the DJ for deviating from her approved schedule later. “We have a special request tonight, one backed up by Imperial decree.” Twilight froze. “And so, mares and gentlecolts, for your listening pleasure, I bring you one of my best works. A blend of rock and opera, classical and modern! It’s a tale of sisters, betrayal, and love. I give you “Moonrise”.”
Twilight’s horn glowed. With a squeal, the speakers cut out. Her face was grim. Sabotaging her own Gala now, eh? Well, it was better than letting that music play. The tale of Nightmare Moon’s rise and fall would do wonders to put Luna in a poor light, but it would only remind ponies of Celestia. The old Celestia, not Sunny Skies. And that she could not have.
She smiled weakly at her guests and galloped off. Where were those fillies? Sisters of the Elements or no, Twilight felt she’d be showing a lot of restraint if she didn’t strangle them on sight. Didn’t they know how important this event was? Her first Gala was supposed to show the elite that she could rule while assuring them that things would not change overly much between hers and the previous reign. And now they just had to go and pull these stunts!
And worst of all, she totally should have seen it coming.
“Sunny, you and I will have words after this,” she growled under her breath, “And you will not like them. I, on the other hoof...”
A flash of red fabric caught her eye on the balconies above. So, she hadn't left. In a flash, she teleported up there and caught Apple Bloom red-hoofed. The filly had a few vials of alchemical reagents and was shaking one vigorously. “Ah-ha!” Twilight triumphantly hauled her into the air. “And what do you think you’re doing? Using the alchemy lessons I gave you against me? I expected better of you, Apple--”
She opened the vial. The contents exploded out and filled the air around Twilight’s head with choking, cloying gas. Twilight sputtered and coughed. “Sorry, Twahlight!” the filly called. She tried to wriggle free, but Twilight kept a firm grip on her. Immediately, her mind ran over all anti-poison spells she knew and she cast them, one by one. All of them turned up negative. When she opened her eyes, the cloud had cleared and Apple Bloom hung in front of her, trapped in a purple field of magic and grinning sheepishly. Twilight shook her head to clear it. If it wasn’t poison, what did Apple Bloom…
She caught sight of her forelegs and froze. Her coat, down to the roots, had lost all color and had gone grey. It made her look old, very old.
A few gasps and screams came from down below. She ran to the edge. The cloud hadn’t dispersed, it had dropped. And now, it was spreading all throughout the hall, leeching color as it went.
“Greyspire’s Grey Mist,” she muttered, “A very advanced alchemical mixture. Apple Bloom, I am so proud and so angry at the same time.”
Apple Bloom chuckled nervously. “Well, if ya like that, y'all are gonna love what Sweetie’s workin’ on.”
Before Twilight could ask, the door to the ballroom burst open and all chaos broke out.
---------------
Celestia sat in her room, enjoying a nice, quiet evening. Sure, she’d put in an appearance at the Gala, but she knew better than to be caught in the crossfire once the Crusader’s planned pranks went off. Especially that last one. She shuddered. On the bright side, it meant yet another Grand Galloping Gala was a smashing success. And by that, of course, she meant a complete and total disaster.
She sipped some brandy and flipped through the reports Twilight had failed to properly hide. After all, it was her duty, as adviser to the crown, to keep abreast of all the comings and goings in the court. And if she so happened to sign off on one or two things, who really could blame her? After all, Twilight was so busy. As marvelous a pony as she was nowadays, even she couldn’t do everything. It was only right, as a friend and public official, that Celestia help her out.
Plus, even half-drunk, she still did a far better job that Twilight did.
The door slammed open. A remarkably colorless Twilight, sopping wet and looking about ready to commit very hot-blooded murder, stormed in, three fillies in tow. Celestia raised an eyebrow and put a tipsy smile on her face. “Twilight! What a surprise and delight. I must say, that is a bold new fashion statement. But what are you doing here? I didn’t expect to see you away from the party all evening.”
Twilight’s laugh was high-pitched and a little unstable. “Oh, a party was it? That wasn’t a party. That was a complete and utter failure!” She jabbed a hoof right in Celestia’s face. “And I know you’re behind it, so don’t try and--”
“Of course I’m behind it,” Celestia said with a serene smile, “I always make sure the Galas are interesting in one way or another. Really Twilight, it can’t have been as bad as the first one all your friends came to. Or the one where Discord invited the Schmooze.”
“But those were accidents!”
“I admit, I didn’t know exactly what would happen,” Celestia said, “But I knew for a fact that something interesting was bound to occur. And it did, for which I was very pleased. So no, they weren’t accidents, Twilight.” She smiled and took another swig of brandy. "Mmm. Good stuff. You ever try any of this, Twilight?" She leaned uncomfortably close and whispered, "It's good for the nerves."
Twilight’s mouth worked silently.
“What did I tell you about letting your mouth hang open?” Celestia chided gently, “What if a fly should--”
“Shut up,” Twilight growled, “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” She plonked the three Crusaders down beside Celestia and loomed over the four of them. “You all are confined to this room for the rest of the night! Do I make myself clear?”
The Crusaders wordlessly nodded. Celestia’s serene smile never wavered, but she nodded too.
Twilight snorted. “Perfect. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to organize the cleanup of over three swimming pools worth of water.”
“It was a lot of water balloons,” Sweetie Belle admitted, “But I don’t think it was quite--”
“Between them and the fish tank? It was over three swimming pools. Olympic swimming pools,” Twilight said frostily. She turned on her heel and slammed the door.
Celestia looked down at the Crusaders and took another swig. “So, did you girls have fun?”
Cheers echoed through the casino. Pinkie Pie’s smile spread from ear to ear. She giggled. “Well then let’s party!” She stamped her hoof and balloons exploded from the stage behind her. She twirled to the side and made way for the band, who came onstage blaring out happy music. The crowd cheered.
With that out of the way, she turned away. Other things demanded her attention. She hummed to herself and pranced backstage. An attendant trotted up to her. “Good news, Ms. Pie. The numbers are bigger than expected. We’re almost at capacity throughout Los Pegasus.”
Pinkie’s smile stretched. “That’s amazing!” she said and gave the mare a hug, “This’ll be the biggest party ever!”
“It sure will!” The mare giggled. “Gotta run.”
She darted off and Pinkie turned her attention back to the crowd. So many ponies! And they all deserved to be happy! Everypony deserved to be happy. And she, Pinkie Pie, was the one to make them so.
Sure, it was strange having Twilight in charge. But honestly? As long as she could spread joy and smiles, did it really matter? No, of course not! Silly Pinkie. She giggled. Put those dreary thoughts away! It was time for fun!
She hopped onto the dance floor, right into the middle of a dance-off. Time to work some magic. “Aaaaand in the red corner, the mean, green, dancing machine, Two-Step!” she said. The stallion blinked, surprised she knew his name. Oh what a cutie. She knew everypony’s name! She was Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter. “And in the blue, the fighting-fit, fetching mare of the hour, Butter Cream!” She stepped back. “I want to see a clean dance battle! No dirty moves.” She giggled and snorted. Oh Pinkie, you’re hilarious sometimes! “And the winner will be decided by who can get the loudest cheers at the end! 3-2-1 begin!”
Alright, that was settled. Now she had about five minutes before she needed to show back up and oversee the ‘cheer to see who wins’ ceremony. In the meantime…
She bounced over to the buffet, licking her lips. To the surrounding ponies, “Cake’s coming!” True to her word, the chefs emerged from the kitchen seconds later with a massive cake in tow. The ponies cheered and flocked to the table, but not as fast as Pinkie. The head chef rolled his eyes playfully and chuckled.
“Ms. Pie,” he said, “I believe you’ve had quite enough for one day.”
“Ha!” she retorted, bouncing up and down, “Shows what you know! There’s no such thing as too much cake!” The first slice was soon hers by right of conquest. She gobbled it up, checked on the ponies entering the concert, and was back just in time to oversee the dance-off’s final moments. Butter Cream won by popular vote.
“Whew,” she said to herself, “All this partying is making me thirsty. To the bar!” Alcohol always helped a party along! Though some ponies drank to forget things. Was she trying to forget something? No, of course not. That would be silly. Although she was a very silly pony. And if she had succeeded on forgetting something, she wouldn’t know it because she forgot it. But if she forgot and still was happy…
A stallion stopped and frowned at her. “Er...are you alright?”
She blinked and beamed at him. “I forgot!” And with that, she bounced away to get that drink.
Ooh! A drinking contest! She grinned wide and landed on a stool. “Hit me, Blue Blaze!” she said to the bartender. He slid a big mug of cider down her way, sliding past plates and glasses with expert aim. She snatched it up and downed it in one go. “Another!” she called, resisting the urge to smash it on the ground. After all, she’d need a beard and a hammer for that.
Mug after mug piled up in front of her. She overtook and then passed the other contestants. And when they collapsed, snoring, she was still up and raring to go. The crowd cheered. She threw her hooves in the air and surfed over the masses of bodies, borne up by willing hooves. She giggled and laughed all the way to the swimming pool, where they dropped her right into the middle of a water polo tournament!
“Marco!” she called and clambered out real quick.
“Pol--” a player began.
“Wrong game!” the other players shouted in chorus. Pinkie giggled and went to dry off.
The casinos really had everything. Everything she could wish for! The lights, the sounds, the full-automatic full-body dryers, and the softest, warmest towels in the whole wide world. And maybe beyond! Though if there were softer towels outside of the world, where did they come from? Did aliens make them? Was there a planet made entirely of towels? DId time travelers come back to save the world and leave their soft, futuristic towels behind? No! What if they needed them! They had to find a way to--
“Return the towels!” she declared.
A frightened stallion stopped what he was doing. “Relax...I’m just taking it to my room. It’s so soft.”
“Oh not you, silly,” she said with a laugh. He smiled nervously. Hmm, that wasn’t any good. A nervous smile was worse than no smile! She stepped closer to him. “Why’re you headed to your room? The party just started!”
He shrugged. “Eh. I’m not in the partying mood right now.”
It was worse than she thought. She could not let this stand! And so, she stepped in front of him and blocked off his retreat! “Aw, why not? Tell your friend Pinkie what’s wrong.”
“Oh, it’s nothing against you,” he said, “This is...well, it’s amazing that you put everything together. And that you hoof-wrote all the invitations. And knew my name when I walked in. I played a few games, danced with a pretty mare, but I just can’t get into it right now.”
Pinkie nodded. “I understand.” She grinned. “What you need is a balloon!” In a flash, she had a balloon tied around his hoof.
He chuckled. “Thanks. It’s nice. But--”
“Two balloons! Three! A whole bushel of balloons!” Pinkie paused. “Or is it a bunch of balloons? A balloonaplooza?”
He strained to remain on the ground, lifted off by the amount of balloons wrapped around him. “Thank...you? I’ll just take the one.”
“You sure?”
“Very.”
Pinkie sighed and reclaimed all but one balloon. “How about some cake?”
He shook his head. “Already had some.”
Pinkie frowned. “Okay mister. I am making it my mission to get you in the partying mood! So tell me, what’s stopping you and how can I make it better?”
He hesitated for a moment. His shoulders remained tense and she could see some internal debate raging within him. But her smile broke it. His shoulders slumped and a long, weary sigh escaped his lungs. “It’s a year to the day since my brother died,” he said, “We were...we were close. Very close.”
Pinkie ground to a halt. Oh, this was worse than expected. So much worse. “Well…” she said, weighing her options, “Was your brother fun?”
He half-laughed, half-sobbed. “Yeah. He was pretty great. At his wedding, he got really drunk and told jokes that had us all rolling on the floor.” His face contorted, joy and grief mingling in equal parts. “He and his wife had been married less than a month when the airship they were flying in crashed in the mountains. They didn’t make it.”
Pinkie didn’t like the way this conversation was heading, but she pressed forward. You had to have hope things would work out in the end, otherwise you’d go crazy! “Do you think he would have enjoyed this party?”
He took a deep breath and looked around. A smile tugged at the edges of his mouth. “He would have loved it.”
“Then enjoy it for him!” Pinkie said, “He wouldn’t have wanted you to be unhappy, so laugh! Have fun! And eat some more of the cake, it’s reaaaaaaally good.”
“I have,” he said, “And I am. But it’s the anniversary of the crash. I had fun, I raised a glass to his memory. But I can’t just forget about him either.”
“Of course you can!” Pinkie said brightly.
That got his attention. His mouth worked silently for a moment and he stared at her. “What?”
She threw a foreleg over his shoulders. “Life’s too short to worry and be sad! So if something’s making you sad, just forget about it. If you can remember to laugh, all your problems will go away. Giggle at the Ghostie!” She giggled. “Like that!”
He slid away took a step back. “That...can’t be right, I--”
“Of course it is!” She stepped forward. “I’m the Element of Laughter, silly. If there’s anything I know, it’s how to be happy.”
He shook his head. “No. No, that’s wrong. I know it is.” He turned away. “I...I need to go lie down, I think.”
She reached for him. “Oh come on, stay a--”
“Don’t touch me.”
Everything inside of her pulled up short. Now it was her turn to say, “What?”
He clenched his eyes shut, holding back tears. “I’m...I’m sorry. I just really need to be alone right now.”
“O-kay…” Pinkie said, “Er, there’s gonna be another concert at midnight.”
“Thanks. I’ll watch it from the window.” He headed toward the elevator. Pinkie stood frozen, torn between going after him and helping him have fun and...something else. A strange, un-Pinkie moodiness that kept her legs glued to the floor and a muzzle on her mouth. He nodded to her as the door closed. “Goodnight. And thanks for the party.”
“You’re welcome,” she said softly. Almost like Fluttershy. And then he was gone.
She stared after him for a moment, war raging inside her mind. Someone called to her and she snapped right back into party mode. And for a while, everything was fun again. She sang, she danced, she blew herself out of a party cannon. But that second voice, the un-Pinkie, niggled at the back of her brain. And no matter how loud her songs, no matter how big her glasses of cider, no matter how many ponies she made laugh or smile, it did not go away. She could not drown it out.
The party wasn’t as fun anymore. The colors were dull, the laughter distant. She downed her last glass and did the unthinkable. She’d always been good at appearing in unexpected places. But now, she disappeared from the one place that everyone would have expected to find her. She disappeared from her own party and stumbled into her penthouse suite.
All the cider she’d drunk hit her at once. She ran to the bathroom and let herself be violently ill for a few minutes, disgorging everything she’d eaten and drank all at once.The cake, the alcohol, it all fought to get out. Then, she used the toilet for its intended purpose and went to wash up. She turned the water on, scrubbed soap all over her hooves, and found herself looking right into her own face.
“Gah!” she said and stumbled backwards. Her heart rate soared for a moment. “Oh,” she said and giggled, “A mirror! Of course. Gosh, it’s been so long since I’ve -- hic -- seen one!” She clapped her hooves to her mouth. “Oh my. I must be really drunk. I don’t normally get hiccups.”
Her reflection stared back at her silently. It was covered in, well, all sorts of nasty stuff. But at least it was still smiling! Well, one of them was. She blinked hard. “Oh my, I am drunk. I’m seeing double!”
But no, that couldn’t be right. The second reflection was clean, though its pelt was a bit long in places. And its mane had fallen down and hung straight as an arrow. And it looked out from behind the glass with something unpleasant in its eyes. Pity. Disgust. Sadness. Maybe a mix of them.
“You’ve got something right here,” The second reflection pointed to her chin. Pinkie put her own hoof there and found a bit of vomit clinging to her pelt. A splash of water washed it away. “And here,” the rellection said. She guided Pinkie to all the bits of filth covering her face. Pinkie smiled, beaming back at her.
“Thanks, me!” she said. The reflection did not respond. It stared at her with sad eyes. Pinkie poked at it. “You know, for an image of me, you’re kinda sad.” She rolled onto her back and stared up at it. “And that’s silly! Because you’re me and I’m the Element of Laughter!”
The reflection shook her head. “You shouldn’t laugh all the time. And you should know that.”
Pinkie, naturally, giggled. “You’re funny.”
“I wasn’t joking.”
“Everything’s a joke if you can laugh at it!”
“Hurting ponies isn’t a joke.”
Pinkie sat up. “Hurting ponies?” she said, “Who’s hurting ponies? I’m not. I’m helping them!”
The reflection pressed up against the glass. “Please, listen to me. This is wrong. You’re not helping them. You’re just helping them bury their pain deeper and deeper. It’s not gone. It’ll come back. And it’ll be worse.”
Pinkie blinked at the reflection blearily. “You’re not like me at all. You know that?”
“Pinkie,” the reflection said, “I am you. But you’re not me. Not the real me, anyway.”
Pinkie giggled. “That’s even sillier! You’re a reflection in the mirror! I’m real.”
“Trapped in a mirror,” the reflection said, “And in the back of your mind. I see everything you do. For weeks I tried to stop you, get you to listen. But you broke all the mirrors and drank until you couldn’t hear me. But now that I have you…”
Pinkie didn’t like where this was going. “What are you…?”
The reflection stood straight. “Pinkamena Diane Pie, you are no hero. You’ve become a villain. The worst kind. You lure ponies in with innocent fun and twist them. Because of you, they turn a blind eye to the hurt and pain of others. They walk by ponies in need, laughing merrily and raising a toast to each other. While foal’s starve, they go to parties. You’re an enemy of Equestria and ponykind, Pinkie.”
Pinkie blinked and squinted. “What’s wrong with a little laughter?” she asked.
The reflection caught her eyes and held them with hers. They were so bright they burned right into Pinkie’s soul. “Laughter is no good when it becomes a blindfold.”
“Laughter is always good!”
“No. It’s not. And you know it too. Deep down.” The reflection put a hoof on the glass. “Please stop this, Pinkie. It isn’t fun anymore. You’re not fun anymore.”
Pinkie’s smile fled. She stood up. She stumbled into the bedroom and tore through it, looking for something. Naturally, it was sitting in plain sight on the counter the whole time. She re-entered the bathroom and slammed it on the table. The reflection tilted her head in confusion. “Cider?”
“I’m not fun, am I?” Pinkie asked. She popped the cork and took a swig. “I’ll show you just how fun I am!” She took another swig. “I’m a lot of fun, see? I can drink until the sun comes up!”
“Pinkie,” the reflection said, “Please stop!”
Pinkie threw the bottle. It shattered against the mirror and shattered the mirror two. Glass fell in a cascade around her. And then, mercifully, the reflection’s voice fell silent.
Pinkie giggled and staggered out of the bathroom. “Showed you!” she called. The bed looked so warm, so comforting. She collapsed on it. “Sure...showed you.” Her giggles softened and stilled. Her smile faded. She stared at the ceiling and shook her head. “I’m Pinkie Pie. I’m the bestest, funnest pony there is,” she murmured, “Fun...heh. Fun, fun, fun...fun…”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Twilight, we’ve gone over this twelve times already.” She took a deep breath. “Put it on me, already.”
Twilight bit her lip. “If you’re absolutely sure.”
“What do you want? A signed consent and release form?” Dash paused. That sounded exactly like something Twilight would do. “You aren’t actually going to make me sign a waiver, right?”
“Well…” Twilight said with a worried chuckle, “It’s a big step. Magic like this hasn’t been used since the Old Days, when some particularly perverse unicorns kept earth ponies and pegasi as…” She trailed off and swallowed the lump in her throat. “Slaves.”
Rainbow flicked her mane aside confidently. “I know. And that’s why I need it. I’m the Element of Loyalty. I can’t go around second-guessing you or the others. I need to be free of those thoughts. They’re holding me back. Keeping me from doing my job. Everytime I look in the mirror, I hear them. I want them to shut up.”
Twilight’s smile froze on her face. “Mirrors. Ah. Yes. Mirrors. I see the problem now.” She cleared her throat. “W-well, if you’ll follow me, we’ll get everything set up. Is the throne room good for you?”
Dash shrugged. “Wherever’s most convenient.”
“Convenient. Right.” Twilight chuckled, but her ears lay flat against her head.
The setting sun painted the throne room a warm orange. At Twilight’s orders, the guards left. She ascended to her throne and, with a flare of magic, her books came to her call. Rainbow Dash fidgeted impatiently. She paced back and forth, slowly drawing closer and closer to the throne. Twilight began to sweat. She glanced up at Dash and offered a nervous smile. “Um, be patient now.”
Dash huffed and sat down.
With a deep sigh, Twilight set aside her books. “Alright. We’re ready to begin.” She stood strong and raised her head. Her horn lit up. Slowly, she weaved an iron collar into existence. Simple, utilitarian, and the perfect size for Dash’s neck. Once on, nothing less powerful than Twilight’s own magic would remove it.
Next, under her careful eye, runes formed. Powerful, ancient runes of hateful magic. They bound the will and mind of one pony to another. She shuddered. This was wrong. Her magic stopped. “I’m sorry, Dash. I can’t do it. You’re my friend.”
“Oh come on, Twi,” Dash urged, “I need this.” She stepped forward and put a hoof on Twilight’s leg. “I’m out of control. It’s like...it’s like lightning is trapped inside me. I can’t control myself, so I need you to. Help me.”
With a deep breath, Twilight picked the metal collar up. She etched the runes and imbued them with magic. They glowed faintly. After several minutes of fine-tuning and testing, she set it down again. “It’s ready,” she pronounced with dread finality.
Dash jumped down from beside her and inspected it. “Huh. It’s…” She picked it up. “Heavy. Could you make it lighter? I don’t want it to affect my fly-speed.” Twilight glared at her. “Right, right. It’s fine. I mean, I’ll get used to it. I’m the best pegasus alive. Even slowed down, I’ll still be best.” She picked it up and tried to fit it around her own neck. Twilight yanked it out of her grasp. “Hey! What’s the problem now?”
Twilight glowered. “Dash, this is going to hurt. I don’t know how much, but all accounts say it’s excruciating. It will be easier if you submit to it.” Dash nodded. “Now, for the last, time, are you sure about--”
She felt the weight press into her neck. She felt a cold chill from the metal pressing through her fur. The snap of the clasp sent a thrill through her. And then the burning started. There was no resisting it. The pain lit up her entire nervous system, as if every nerve were dipped in heat strong enough to burn but not strong enough to kill, perfectly tuned to extend the agony for as long as possible. Worse than the venom of the red-brown ant, which stung Daring Do back in book seven. Worse than the chains of Tartarus which kept Tirek restrained. And worse than any torture Chrysalis could concoct, despite all her depravity.
Instinctively, she tried to fight it. To move away. Yank the thing off her neck. The pain grew worse. She asked for this. She’d told Twilight to put the collar on. By the stars, she was an idiot!
She collapsed to the floor, breath driven from her lungs. Twilight was by her side, trying to say something, she couldn’t hear what. But she could see the shapes her mouth made and that was enough. ‘Don’t fight it! Give in!’ Oh good idea, Twi. Let’s put one around your neck and see how willing you are to just give up!
No, she’d wanted this. She’d needed this. The things Daring had said… She tried to take a deep breath but couldn’t, so she settled for forcing her forelegs away from the collar. They trembled. Heck, her whole body was trembling, locked up tighter than rigor mortis. The pain decreased slightly, enough so she could relax a little more. Every time she forced herself to let it take control, the pain lessened. In time it faded and left her panting in a pool of her own sweat with Twilight stroking her mane comfortingly.
“Rainbow Dash?” she asked softly, “Are you alright?”
Her mind felt, dull, fuzzy somehow. But Twilight’s words sent a spark of urgency through her. “I’m fine,” she rasped.
A warm, comforting magic field enveloped her. “No, no you’re not,” Twilight said. A shiver ran up Rainbow Dash’s spine. Twilight’s magic never felt good before. It really didn’t feel like anything except pressure, like being locked in smooth foam that gave a little but wasn’t going to let you go anytime soon. When it disappeared and deposited her on a soft couch, the world felt cold and she let out a little whine.
“What? What’s wrong? Is something broken?” Twilight demanded.
“Not that I can...tell,” Rainbow said. Her throat really hurt, but she had to answer.
Twilight bit her lip. “How...how can I help, Dash?”
“Hold me,” Dash said without hesitation.
Confusion crossed Twilight’s face. “Al...right.” She bent down and awkwardly wrapped her forelegs around Dash’s shoulders.
Warm, pleasant softness flooded Dash’s senses. She relaxed and went limp, letting the joy of being near Twilight fill her. Something told her this was wrong, but that couldn’t be it. This was what loyalty, unbending, unbreakable loyalty felt like. This was the only right thing to do.
Twilight shifted above her. “I’m...I’m going to let go now.”
Dash wanted to stop her, but couldn’t bring herself to. Twilight’s hoof lingered and traced her pelt right along the collar. A frown on her face, she took a step back. “Rainbow Dash, are you sure you’re alright?”
She went to say yes, but a ‘no’ came out instead. “I don’t know what all this is going to do to me,” she said, “But I do know that everything feels kinda...warm and good around you.”
Twilight sucked a deep breath. “Oh,” she said in a quiet voice, “The books said it instilled loyalty. They weren’t clear on exactly how. Let me just...” Her horn glowed and Dash felt a thrill of magic passed through her. Twilight looked grim. “I should have guessed.” She pinched the bridge of her nose.
“What? What is is?” Dash asked.
“Emotion manipulation,” Twilight says. Her horn summoned her books from beside her throne and she began flipping feverishly through them.
“Meaning?” Dash prompted.
Twilight looked up for a moment. “Dash, describe your feelings about me at this moment.”
Words came unbidden to the pegasus’s mouth. “You’re perfect, Twi. Nothing about you could be better. You’re the only one I trust completely. Far as I know, your word is law.” She sat up. “I would do anything for you, Twi, anything. Just say the word and I’ll throw myself off the balcony with both wings tied.” She bit her lip. “I only...I only want to make you happy.”
Twilight was not pleased. Dash wondered why. She’s said the truth. Everything was as it should be now. “Perhaps the collar should have been tested on Sunny first.” She began flipping again. “There’s got to be a way to take it off. Let’s see here...”
“Take it off?” Dash repeated, “No! Never!” Both hooves flew to it and held it protectively. “This is my, uh, in-sure-ants. Yeah, insewerants that I won’t betray you!”
Twilight hesitated, a pained look in her eye. “Alright. Well, who knows? This could just be the settling-in period! Everything could go back to normal the instant it’s--”
The door opened and a pony stepped inside.
--------------------------
Celestia was having a wonderful day.
Really, it had been a wonderful week. When she’d been princess, she’d spent so many hours of each day attending to the problems of the nation and making sure that nopony felt slighted or unwanted. It was an exhausting, if rewarding, task the likes of which only her immortal shoulders could carry. It also left precious little time for recreational activities or quiet breaks. And so, if there was one thing out of all this mess that she wanted to thank Twilight for, it was giving her a chance to step away from the office and the responsibilities of leadership for a while. In short, she had rediscovered her passion in life, which was currently finding all of Twilight Sparkle’s buttons and pushing them in no particular order.
After the fiasco with the Grand Galloping Gala, Twilight had forebade her to let the Crusaders do anything without clearing it with her first. And so, when Sweetie Belle asked to go the bathroom, Celestia waltzed into Twilight’s bedroom, woke her up from a nap, and asked.
After Twilight was done flinging things at her head, she said only to bother her if the Crusaders were doing something irresponsible. That decree lasted until she caught them careening down a waterslide in the front foyer. When she demanded an explanation, Celestia quietly produced the design notes, speaking in glowing terms about the thoroughness and care they used in the slide’s construction. Everything was done very responsibly, so she’d seen no need to disturb Twilight.
This final iteration of this command was to bring any plan of theirs that had the potential to disrupt palace life to Twilight for further review.
Today, she and the Crusaders had come up with at least twenty such plans, all of which Celestia had dutifully carried to Twilight and all of which had been promptly incinerated and swept out the window. Now, she had only one more to deliver before calling it a day.
She pushed the door to the throne room open, serene smile resting in its place and folder clutched under one wing. She caught sight of Twilight and Rainbow Dash talking. Her eyes fell on the collar around Dash’s neck. She stopped smiling.
Celestia was having an awful day.
-------------
“It was at her request!” Twilight said defensively.
“Twilight, some forms of magic were banned and their books destroyed for a very good reason,” Celestia said with a low growl in her voice.
Twilight huffed. “I don’t know why I’m justifying my actions to you. I can do as I please. I am the Empress of Equestria now.”
“You’re an arrogant foal.”
Twilight froze. In all her years as Celestia’s student, she’d never been insulted like that. Even since her successful coup, she’d always been the perfect model of politeness and poise while undermining everything Twilight was trying to do. But now, gazing into those steel-hard eyes, Twilight had the sinking feeling that she’d crossed a line she really shouldn’t have. “What do you--”
A chime sounded at the window. Her ears flicked. She’d installed a several twin sets of bells, one for each of her friends. They’d ring the bonded one and it would ring in her throne room. That way if they needed help she could be there in a flash. This one was the softness of the five, which could only mean…
Dash said it first. “Fluttershy,” she said, breathless.
Twilight faced Celestia. “We will finish this conversation later!” she declared. Her horn glowed and both she and Dash disappeared in a burst of magic. The last thing she saw of that room was Celestia’s hard eyes.
-------------
They appeared in the middle of a riot. Fluttershy’s office had become a fortress to keep those who would harm her at bay. The lights were off. The blinds drawn shut. Furniture was pushed up against the door, holding back the tide of angry prisoners. And as for the Element of Kindness herself…
She was hiding under her desk.
“Um, hello Twilight,” she said, “Things have gotten a little out of hoof.”
“A little,” Twilight agreed. “What ha--” A crash from the other side of the door pushed it open a tad. Fluttershy squeaked and threw herself to the floor.
“Come out, come out, little warden,” a stallion’s voice growled, “We’re here to re-negotiate the lunch menu!”
“Biscuits with gravy? What do you take us for? Savages?”
“Hey! I like the gravy!”
“Shut up, Brass Tacks, you’re from Appleloosa.”
Twilight sighed. “Stand back.” Her horn lit up. The door slammed shut with such force it catapulted the mob backwards a few feet. Not satisfied with that, she cast another spell to reinforce the barricade and turn the door to solid steel. A final spell muffled the screams and shouts of the ponies outside. “There. That’s so much better.” She turned back to the matter at hoof. And, as Applejack would say, boy howdy, was it a doozy. The entire reformation facility in chaos, Discord nowhere to be seen, and Fluttershy was staring at her with big, scared eyes. She sighed heavily.
“Fluttershy,” she began, “what happened?”
Fluttershy’s eyes flicked between Twilight and Rainbow Dash. “Oh, it was, um, the stallion in the blue box. He rescued Daring Do.”
Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “How?”
“Weeell…” Fluttershy took stock of her options, decided she didn’t like any of them, and answered as best she could. “He...appeared in her cell. With the blue box. Then Derpy broke the door down by running into it, which raised the alarm. But when the guards arrived, they were gone!” Her breaths came hard and fast. “They were everywhere! Some ponies disappeared into the box with them, but the others formed a mob! They trampled the tranquility garden! They trashed the arcade room! And now they want strawberry jam during lunch when I made it very clear that jam is for ponies very far along in their reformation process!”
“Come on, Fluttershy. You didn’t need us for this. Don’t you have Discord?” Dash asked.
“He’s gone after the blue box!” Fluttershy screamed, “And I don’t want anypony getting hurt!”
A frown impressed itself on Twilight’s face. “It’s alright, Fluttershy. We’ll take care of this. Just...stay here and don’t get into any more trouble.”
Not that she wasn’t in plenty of trouble. Such behaviour couldn’t be allowed to stand. And letting Daring Do escape along with Faust knows how many others? That had ‘bad time’ written in big, red letters all over it. Not a good sign.
Her horn glowed. “Right,” she growled, “Let’s go put some prisoners in the infirmary.”
The door flew open and she charged into battle, Rainbow Dash right by her side. And as they kicked and and fought and threw the mob aside, to the sky-blue pegasus, everything in the world was just the way it should be. She was with her master and nothing, not even death, would be able to break them apart again.
---------------
Derpy kicked the door to the dining room open and nearly caused Daring Do to leap out of her seat and fall to the ground. “I’ve got the muffins!”
“Great,” Daring said not-very-sincerely. Under her breath, she added, “At least it’s better than toast with no jam.”
Dr. Whooves cleared his throat. “Right. To reiterate, everypony meet the newest member of our resistance. The famous, if until recently considered fictional, Daring Do.” He grinned. “I must say, if half of what your books say about you is true, you are one very impressive mare, Ms. Do.”
“I left some stuff out,” Daring said. She put her hind hooves on the table and leaned back in her chair. “So you broke me out. Thanks for that. And now you want me to join this, what, this revolution.” She snorted. “Sorry, no can do. Got my face ground into the mud enough for one lifetime.”
Whooves’ smile faded. “Ms. Do, while you were not the only pony of interest, you were our primary reason for breaking into that facility. Are you saying that you have no interest in aiding our cause? And after we risked so much to break you out?”
“None whatsoever,” Daring said. She took a sip from her mug. Hot chocolate, and the good stuff too. “Look, I’m grateful. Very grateful. But I’ve fought one of them and lost. And she wasn’t even an alicorn. No way I’m going up against the Empress. And if you’re smart, you won’t either.”
The other ponies in the room muttered to themselves, dismayed. A grey pelted one (who Daring didn’t know) glowered at her. “Then what,” she said with perfect pronunciation, “Do you intend to do?”
“Leave,” Daring said, “I have plenty of contacts down in Mexicolt. I’ll set up down there, keep adventuring, and maybe write a few more books.”
A blue-haired mare sitting next to the first (who Daring also didn’t know) slammed her hooves on the table. “So,” she said, “You’re giving up on Equestria, on harmony, on everything we worked hard to make?”
“Vinyl,” the grey-coated one said, “If she’s really made her choice--”
“I’m acknowledging the reality of the situation,” Daring said. She leaned further back and closed her eyes. “After all, there’s no way to beat them, so why try?”
“And that’s where I must beg to differ!” Discord’s booming voice shook the room. With a decidedly undramatic ‘pop!’ he appeared on the table, reclining and eating a grape. As one, the assembled ponies performed the most sacred and time-honored tradition of Ponyville. One bred from generations of living next to the Everfree forest, the strangest and most dangerous place in all Equestria, a tradition that had been passed on from mother to filly and father to colt for generations.
That is to say, they panicked.
“Buck!” the blue-maned mare shouted.
“Vinyl!”
“Don’t worry!” Derpy shouted over the chaos, “I’ll save us!” Screwing her face into a determined expression, she seized a muffin in each forehoof and flew at Discord’s face. With a battle cry of, “FOR DINKYYYYY!” she threw both of them at the Lord of Chaos’ eyes.
He lazily opened his mouth and caught both of them.
Derpy huffed, cheeks puffing out, and a frown appeared on her face. “Oh...muffins.”
Discord raised a claw. “Please, everypony, as much as I enjoy watching you all run around screaming your heads off, I did expect more from the ‘brave’ Resistance.” He sighed. “Of course it seems the general quality of modern heroes is decreasing. Not even the Elements of Harmony can keep on the straight and narrow.
Daring poked her head out from behind her chair. “If you think I’m going back, you can kiss my flank!”
With a chuckle, Discord swallowed his last grape. He sprang to his feet. A muzzle appeared on Daring’s mouth. “As tempting an offer as that is, I must ask for you to shut up and listen for once, my little adventurer. I’m actually here to help.”
Fancy Pants (who Daring definitely recognized, he was one of her richest buyers) tugged at his collar. “Er, Lord Discord, sir. Don’t take offense at this, but why would you help us?”
Discord’s smile faded. “As fun as it is to see dear old Sunbutt toddle around in the body of a pegasus and have the Elements of Harmony reigning as tyrants, the way things are now…” He trailed off and shook his head. “It’s just no good. No good at all.” As an afterthought, and more to himself than anything, he added, “After all, I can’t let Fluttershy keep crying herself to sleep every night.”
Dr. Whooves cleared his throat. “What...sort of help?”
“Simply put,” Discord said with a grin, “I know the dear old Purplesmart’s weakness. And I can arrange enough chaos for you to get near enough to use it. How does that sound, laddie buck?”
The resistance members were silent for a long moment. “If it’s true,” Fancy Pants said, politely clearing his throat, “It is better than we could have dreamed.” He stood, a smile on his face. “I, for one, approve of this development. After all, if he’s telling the truth, it’s the best chance we have. And if he’s lying, we have no chance anyway.”
Discord laughed. “No. You don’t.” He raised a claw. “Now before you ask, I cannot do anything too ‘obvious’. The little purple tyrant made it very clear that--” He cleared his throat and spoke in a high-pitched, squeaky version of Twilight’s voice. “--If you are implicated in any illicit activity, I will summon the Elements and turn you to stone again, Fluttershy or no Fluttershy.” He sighed. “So, I will open doors, bend the rules of probability in your favor, but I can’t do anything overt. The actual work rests squarely on your little shoulders.”
Dr. Whooves looked around, meeting the eyes of each of the other rebels. “Then...welcome?” He glanced sideways. “And as for you, Ms. Do?”
Daring slowly stepped out from behind the pillar she’d used to hide from Discord. She cleared her throat. “I’m in.”
Whooves grinned. “Then let’s get down to the serious planning.”
