The Empress of Equestria

by DustyBones

The Gala

"Alright girls," Celestia whispered, "Tonight, we strike the first blow against tyranny. Tonight, you are no longer fillies. You are noble knights of Equestria. Tonight is where we set the fire of revolution!" She grinned. "And remember to have fun. Also, don't eat too many sweets. You've had a lot these past couple of days. Unlike Pinkie Pie, us regular ponies can get sick from it."

"Yeah, yeah," Scootaloo said. The young athlete stretched, preparing for her part of the evening, "Keep your feathers straight."

Celestia nuzzled her, ignoring her protests. "Now go, go my minions of chaos! Go and wreak havoc everywhere!" She giggled. "Oh my. I think Discord would be so happy if only he were here to see this."

-------------

Twilight strode through the crowd of her guests, smiling and exchanging pleasantries as necessary. She chuckled to herself. A few years ago, she would have dreaded the mere thought of this. But now, she was the Princess of Friendship, leader of the Elements, and ruler of the Equestrian Empire. This was all right up her alley.

Still, she couldn’t let herself get too distracted. A conversation with a friend was all well and good, but not if it pulled her away from something vital that needed her attention. She had to keep on her hooves here. Be ready to address the slightest flaw in her plans. Everything had to go right. She had to prove to the world that she was every bit as capable as she knew in her heart she was. And so, she kept a running checklist as she moved from room to room. Spike forbade her from using an actual checklist, but she'd trained mentally to keep it all in her head.

She hummed as she went. One of Pinkie Pie's songs. Now, was everything in order? Drinks? Check. The usual fair supplemented with some Sweet Apple Acres cider. She happily observed that it was just as popular as the other drinks.

Continuing. Refreshments? Check. Though without Sunny Skies’ influence, there was less cake. The ratio of cake to other deserts was at a much more reasonable level.

Music? Check. She’d hired musicians from back in Ponyville this time. Perhaps a bit of favoritism, but Octavia was the first string cello in the Canterlot Orchestra. Twilight had been hesitant to hire Vinyl Scratch at the same time, but she didn't regret it now. Somehow, they made classical and modern music blend well. It would be a sign to the guests that a new and brighter future was on its way.

She finished the less pressing items on her checklist and let out a small, happy sigh of relief. Everything was going according to plan. She looked up towards the sky. Yes indeed, nothing could possibly go--

A red bow was poking out over the balcony. She recognized that bow and it made her heart skip a step.

“The Cutie Mark Crusaders,” she said breathlessly, “Oh this is not good.”

She glanced around, trying not to show she was worried. Apple Bloom was on the balcony above the ballroom. Where were the others? Ah, there was Sweetie Belle (dressed in a very nice dress that blended in well with the crowd) talking to the Vinyl. The DJ was nodding excitedly. Twilight groaned.

Scootaloo. Find Scootaloo first. Look for something small moving really, really fast and…

“Is there a problem, Twilight?”

Twilight whirled and found herself staring into Sunny’s concerned face. “You were supposed to be watching them,” she said under her breath.

“Well, they became a bit bored with me, I’m afraid,” Sunny said with a placid smile, “I am just one pony, after all. They wanted to see the Gala and, so long as they were dressed appropriately, I didn’t see a problem with it.”

Twilight glanced around and smiled at the guests, some of whom were paying a bit more attention to this conversation than she would like. She draped a wing over Sunny’s back and pulled her aside. “You’re planning something,” she said.

“Twilight,” Sunny looked disappointed, “After all the years we’ve known each other, I should think it would be obvious. I’m always planning something. And…” A little fire entered her eyes and steel her voice. “It is always for the good of Equestria.”

There was a scream. Over her time as a hero of Equestria, Twilight had learned to distinguish between types of screams. There was the ‘oh sweet Celestia! A monster is trying to kill me!’ scream. The slightly different but more worrisome scream of ‘that thing-ponies-were-not-meant-to-see is looking at me! IT’S LOOKING AT ME!’ and then more mundane ones like, ‘I tripped and am now falling’ or ‘Pinkie Pie stepped out of a closet that was empty ten seconds earlier and now I’m startled’. This scream was the ‘my dress has just been ruined’ scream of a stuffy Canterlot noble.

All chatter ceased. The music cut out, but returned with a comical, “Whomp, whomp, whomp…” like somepony had given the wrong answer on a quiz game. Twilight heard Vinyl snicker. With a single glare at Sunny, she turned and stormed into the other room.

It was worse than she thought. Ms. Merry Melody, of the Canterlot Melodies, had whipped cream dripping down her face and onto her very expensive, custom-made dress. She looked shocked, stunned, and completely incapacitated. Twilight ran over and, in the direct, no-nonsense manner of a pony who’s faced danger many times, asked, “What happened?”

Merry slowly turned to look at her. “That...that filly. On a scooter, she--”

That was all Twilight needed to hear. “Where’d she go?” Somepony pointed in a direction and, without waiting for guard, Twilight took off. Sunny Skies watched her go, a small smile growing on her lips.

“So it begins,” she said. Then, she headed right for the drinks table. It had been a long time since she’d had a metabolism capable of getting drunk. No time like the present.

----------------

Five minutes.

For five minutes, Twilight Sparkle, Empress of Equestria and conqueror of a thousand enemies, chased a small, orange pegasus filly around the room. It was embarrassing and every second only increased her rising panic. The longer this went on, the more time the others had to plan something. But she couldn't let her go. She darted between nobles, throwing cream pies at their faces and laughing. But she could only go for so long.

“Gotcha!” Twilight cackled in triumph as she hauled Scootaloo into the air with her magic. The little pegasus struggled and kicked, but couldn’t escape the Empress’s telekinetic grip. She soon gave up and hung there, forelegs crossed and a pout on her face.

Twilight drew close, a smile frozen on her face. “Scootaloo,” she said, “what do you think you’re doing?” Disruptive or not, it wouldn’t do for the nobles to see her punishing a foal. Not to mention what Rainbow Dash would say.

“Redecorating,” Scootaloo said with a huge, cheeky grin on her face.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Redecorating? With whipped cream pies?”

“Yep!”

Twilight ground her teeth. “Excuse me, everypony.” She dragged Scootaloo off into a corner. There, she could unleash a little bit more of her temper. “Scootaloo, why are you redecorating my guests’ faces with whipped cream?”

“Because you said we could do anything we want,” Scootaloo answered, “And it’s awesome. Besides, that wasn’t whipped cream. It was, um, quick-drying foam. Yep.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Where did you…?”

“Sunny Skies.”

“Why did she…?”

“You told her to do anything we told her!”

Twilight yanked a ribbon off the curtains with her magic and wound it around the pegasus filly. This was bad. Very bad. She should have paid more attention to Sunny and the Crusaders. With the authority of an adviser, who knew what supplies Sunny had procured for them? There was no time to waste. And so, over Scootaloo’s protests, she bound the filly tightly and ran to find the others.

A stallion stepped in front of her. “Oh, Princess Twilight,” he said, “I regret to inform you that we are running low on champagne. If we open more, it will be charged to the royal treasury.”

“That’s fine,” Twilight snapped, “Everything is fine.” Her brain scrambled to remember his name. It was that pony who brought in the drinks for her to sample. Black Tie. “Do whatever you want.”

He raised an eyebrow, but stepped aside. Twilight burst past and frantically looked around the room. Both Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had disappeared. No, no, no, no! This was bad. This was very, very…

“Hellooo everypony!” Vinyl Scratch’s voice boomed out of the speakers. Twilight whirled, didn’t see the Crusaders, and looked away. She’d berate the DJ for deviating from her approved schedule later. “We have a special request tonight, one backed up by Imperial decree.” Twilight froze. “And so, mares and gentlecolts, for your listening pleasure, I bring you one of my best works. A blend of rock and opera, classical and modern! It’s a tale of sisters, betrayal, and love. I give you “Moonrise”.”

Twilight’s horn glowed. With a squeal, the speakers cut out. Her face was grim. Sabotaging her own Gala now, eh? Well, it was better than letting that music play. The tale of Nightmare Moon’s rise and fall would do wonders to put Luna in a poor light, but it would only remind ponies of Celestia. The old Celestia, not Sunny Skies. And that she could not have.

She smiled weakly at her guests and galloped off. Where were those fillies? Sisters of the Elements or no, Twilight felt she’d be showing a lot of restraint if she didn’t strangle them on sight. Didn’t they know how important this event was? Her first Gala was supposed to show the elite that she could rule while assuring them that things would not change overly much between hers and the previous reign. And now they just had to go and pull these stunts!

And worst of all, she totally should have seen it coming.

“Sunny, you and I will have words after this,” she growled under her breath, “And you will not like them. I, on the other hoof...”

A flash of red fabric caught her eye on the balconies above. So, she hadn't left. In a flash, she teleported up there and caught Apple Bloom red-hoofed. The filly had a few vials of alchemical reagents and was shaking one vigorously. “Ah-ha!” Twilight triumphantly hauled her into the air. “And what do you think you’re doing? Using the alchemy lessons I gave you against me? I expected better of you, Apple--”

She opened the vial. The contents exploded out and filled the air around Twilight’s head with choking, cloying gas. Twilight sputtered and coughed. “Sorry, Twahlight!” the filly called. She tried to wriggle free, but Twilight kept a firm grip on her. Immediately, her mind ran over all anti-poison spells she knew and she cast them, one by one. All of them turned up negative. When she opened her eyes, the cloud had cleared and Apple Bloom hung in front of her, trapped in a purple field of magic and grinning sheepishly. Twilight shook her head to clear it. If it wasn’t poison, what did Apple Bloom…

She caught sight of her forelegs and froze. Her coat, down to the roots, had lost all color and had gone grey. It made her look old, very old.

A few gasps and screams came from down below. She ran to the edge. The cloud hadn’t dispersed, it had dropped. And now, it was spreading all throughout the hall, leeching color as it went.

“Greyspire’s Grey Mist,” she muttered, “A very advanced alchemical mixture. Apple Bloom, I am so proud and so angry at the same time.”

Apple Bloom chuckled nervously. “Well, if ya like that, y'all are gonna love what Sweetie’s workin’ on.”

Before Twilight could ask, the door to the ballroom burst open and all chaos broke out.

---------------

Celestia sat in her room, enjoying a nice, quiet evening. Sure, she’d put in an appearance at the Gala, but she knew better than to be caught in the crossfire once the Crusader’s planned pranks went off. Especially that last one. She shuddered. On the bright side, it meant yet another Grand Galloping Gala was a smashing success. And by that, of course, she meant a complete and total disaster.

She sipped some brandy and flipped through the reports Twilight had failed to properly hide. After all, it was her duty, as adviser to the crown, to keep abreast of all the comings and goings in the court. And if she so happened to sign off on one or two things, who really could blame her? After all, Twilight was so busy. As marvelous a pony as she was nowadays, even she couldn’t do everything. It was only right, as a friend and public official, that Celestia help her out.

Plus, even half-drunk, she still did a far better job that Twilight did.

The door slammed open. A remarkably colorless Twilight, sopping wet and looking about ready to commit very hot-blooded murder, stormed in, three fillies in tow. Celestia raised an eyebrow and put a tipsy smile on her face. “Twilight! What a surprise and delight. I must say, that is a bold new fashion statement. But what are you doing here? I didn’t expect to see you away from the party all evening.”

Twilight’s laugh was high-pitched and a little unstable. “Oh, a party was it? That wasn’t a party. That was a complete and utter failure!” She jabbed a hoof right in Celestia’s face. “And I know you’re behind it, so don’t try and--”

“Of course I’m behind it,” Celestia said with a serene smile, “I always make sure the Galas are interesting in one way or another. Really Twilight, it can’t have been as bad as the first one all your friends came to. Or the one where Discord invited the Schmooze.”

“But those were accidents!”

“I admit, I didn’t know exactly what would happen,” Celestia said, “But I knew for a fact that something interesting was bound to occur. And it did, for which I was very pleased. So no, they weren’t accidents, Twilight.” She smiled and took another swig of brandy. "Mmm. Good stuff. You ever try any of this, Twilight?" She leaned uncomfortably close and whispered, "It's good for the nerves."

Twilight’s mouth worked silently.

“What did I tell you about letting your mouth hang open?” Celestia chided gently, “What if a fly should--”

“Shut up,” Twilight growled, “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” She plonked the three Crusaders down beside Celestia and loomed over the four of them. “You all are confined to this room for the rest of the night! Do I make myself clear?”

The Crusaders wordlessly nodded. Celestia’s serene smile never wavered, but she nodded too.

Twilight snorted. “Perfect. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to organize the cleanup of over three swimming pools worth of water.”

“It was a lot of water balloons,” Sweetie Belle admitted, “But I don’t think it was quite--”

“Between them and the fish tank? It was over three swimming pools. Olympic swimming pools,” Twilight said frostily. She turned on her heel and slammed the door.

Celestia looked down at the Crusaders and took another swig. “So, did you girls have fun?”

Comments

[J-90]

Wow... Some good hijinx from CMC

[DeKar]

Glorious...

[Piemaster128]

BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! YES! ALL MY YES!!!!
More please

[FarmFreshAppleTarts]

“I admit, I didn’t know exactly what would happen,” Celestia said, “But I knew for a fact that something interesting was bound to occur. And it did, for which I was very pleased. So no, they weren’t accidents, Twilight.” She smiled and took another swig of brandy. "Mmm. Good stuff. You ever try any of this, Twilight?" She leaned uncomfortably close and whispered, "It's good for the nerves."

I mean, she canonically did this shit on purpose, and no one was actually in harms way...