Arriving at the front gate as the sun was setting, Sunset, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity and Twilight look up to the mansion.

why there are two Fluttershy when there's post to be one?

Pinkie pops, put her around Fluttershy shoulder

Pinkie pops what, put her what around Fluttershy shoulder?

They run around and try to find AJ's and Applejack's location.

don't you mean AJ and RD or Rainbow and Applejack?

8045031 I fix the mistakes. Let me know if I made more.

8045041
I don't want to sound like a jerk, but this needs to be said.
You need to do a major rewrite of this story because it has tons of grammar issues! Here's just one of them!

They continue to listen to Sunset as she decides them onto groups.

They continue to listen to Sunset as she divides them into groups.

Seriously! Don't make me point out every mistake! Look through your entire story and see all the numerous errors you've made!

I'm not gonna read past the first chapter until you give this story a massive rewrite!

8045602
He left out 4-5 words.
He obviously didn't even edit because this is just a quickie.

Calm the fuck down and read.

I won't try to tell you to do a major rewrite, just a tip for better writing in the future. I notice you seem to swap between tenses a lot and it makes for awkward reading. Example "But sometimes, they do FOUND a magical object that is causing a commotion and they acted swiftly to stop them." With the way it's written I think it ought to be "But sometimes they do FIND." At the same time it seemed to be in a past-tense context so you'd change the sentence to "But sometimes, they would find a magical object causing a commotion and swiftly act to stop it." I dunno, it just kind of bugged me while reading. Cool story though =3