OFF the rails

by The Winged Merchant

A Home and a Duel with a Killer Robot in my dreams

Well sorry this took so long (More on that at the bottom)

Anyway spoilers for the Undertale Mettaton Battles in the Pacifist route and the Genocide route coming up.

This may not have much to do with Equestria Girls at first glance, but this is an important chapter nonetheless.

Anyway Enjoy.

I began my walk around town to find a home. I'd seen a number of abandoned homes, but some were either already claimed by others, destroyed with explosives, or in very poor living conditions.

I eventually found an old abandoned van in a junkyard, with some work I could get it up and running again in no time flat.

I put my bat away and began to tinker with it. I got it and running in a matter of time. It reminded me of back home, when I used to help my dad fix up the car when it failed to start.

I found a can of gas that had a moderate amount and I was on the road in no time flat.

I managed to find my license with my photo swapped for that of The Batter's face in my pocket.

"Clever..." was all I could say about it.

I hadn't noticed that there were yellow eyes of a white cat tracking me and a voice with a French accent spoke from or around those eyes, even if I didn't hear it.

"By the queen's thousand faces, so that demented sportsman is here in this dimension as well. But something is a little off about him. I shall keep the closest of eyes on him, I need to see what he does here. "

That Night..

I slept in the back on a bed I found in a moderately good quality with a mattress with pillows and blankets in an ok condition. It was a rough night. I had to reflect upon what happened. I was dragged from my family and life, and turned into a being of incredible power. I had known one day I would dragged away from them.

I bet your wondering how I can be so calm. Well I had once heard of people disappearing. I had even prepared myself to become a "displaced" or so I've heard on the internet. I even spent an hour or two mentally preparing myself in case something like this happened. I even studied some of the more popular displaces to get a basic idea. I may not know this world, but a friend showed me this show that's related called "My Little Pony: Friendship is Witchcraft" or something, I didn't pay attention much to those details of the show, but it gave me a feeling akin to that, weird.

Those were my last thoughts before sleep overcame upon me.

---

When I came to, I found myself in a familiar room with a certain rectangular robot. "Mettaton..." I muttered under my breath knowing but also sensing the ghost inside that metal shell.

"Welcome beauty. I'm Mettaton, now then I just need you're SOUL so I can save humanity. Can I have it? Pretty please?" He said. I noticed his mocking tone at the end.

"Sorry 'pal' but that's a no can do." I said calmly, not letting his beauty get to me. 'Wait, what beauty? He's a freaking oversized calculator with a mic. But EX and Neo though...' I thought realizing what I thought and shaking it off.

"Well then, if you're not gonna hand it over willingly..." He started and got into his familiar battle pose.

"I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO TAKE IT BY FORCE!" He shouted at me.

"...Purification in Progress..." I muttered, I ready to purify. I pulled the three rings off my arms and threw them back. They then grew in size and hovered behind me. The Add-Ons were also ready to purify and the battle started.

I rushed at him and struck him with my bat. To no damage to him.

Attack > Competences > Long Chain

As Alpha uses Long Chain and the other Add-Ons just attack. I decided to see what he was made of.

Attack > Competences > Wide Angle

Mettaton
Mechanical Metal Star Incarnation
HP: 1600 CP: 1000
Strong resistance against Metal

I simply shrug, so Run with Belief was out of the question as I run around Mettaton and smash his face when he was spinning, still no damage. I remembered that Mettaton has the highest defense in Undertale. He threw a couple of mini versions of him at us as they threw hearts at us. Me and the Add-Ons were hit badly as we all had low HP.

Attack > Competences > Save Secret Base

As our HP recovered, I needed a new plan. I was running low on CP, so I checked my items for any Silver Flesh.

Attack > Items > Silver Flesh

"Huh, neat." I thought out loud.

"It's time for a quiz darling." Mettaton shouted

"Wait what!?" I shouted but the quiz show began.

Sudden a question and 4 choices popped up.

What's the prize for answering correctly?
◾ A) Money
◾ B) Mercy
◾ C) New Car
◾ D) More questions

Remembering Undertale I hit "More questions."

"Correct. Now then let's move on." Mettaton shouted.

What are robots made of?
◾ A) Hopes&Dreams
◾ B) Metal&Magic
◾ C) Snips&Snails
◾ D) Sugar&Spic

The 3rd question, maybe he wants to go a different order? I thought and selected "Metal&Magic".

"Too easy for you huh?" Mettaton asked me.

I was starting to get sick of his crap at that point. So he has a max DEF so how do I make him vulnerable again? Oh yeah, there's a switch on his back. That makes him vulnerable. But how to turn him around? ...Yes that should work.

"Hey Metta-ego! There's a fan that wants your autograph!" I shouted

"A fan, well I can't leave them wait-"

I flipped his switch.

"...Did you just... flip my switch?" Mettaton said slowly.

Suddenly he began to malfunction and erupt into smoke as spotlights suddenly shine.

"Oh yes~" He said making me feel awkward.

"Ohhhh my. If you flipped my switch, that can only mean one thing. You're desperate for the premiere of my new body. How rude... Lucky for you, I've been aching to show this off for a long time. So... as thanks, I'll give you a handsome reward. I'll make your last living moments... "
He reveals his human EX form.

"ABSOLUTELY beautiful!" He finishes.

Quick to act first I decide to see this "new foe's" stats were.

Attack > Competences > Wide Angle

Mettaton EX
Hot Legged Machine Incarnation
HP: 1600 CP: 3000
Strong resistance against Metal

I see Mettaton EX start posing/dancing. I stared as the 3 Add-Ons awaited my command

Attack > Competences > Photographic Blur

Attack > Competences > Classic Drama

Attack > Competences > Ultimate Homerun

Attack > Competences > Entire Chain

As Mettaton's defense disappears with the power of "Photographic Blur" and I gain a boost of power thanks to "Classic Drama" I send him packing with an "Ultimate Homerun" as Alpha sends an "Entire Chain" his way.

Mettaton then proceeds to kick me with an attack that reminds me of Chun-Li's "Lightning Legs" technique.

Feeling crippled I kneeled forward in pain. Mettaton Raised his leg over me.

"Say goodnight forever dar-"

[Stop Music]

Attack > Competences > Magic Homerun

I finally strike him hard in his mechanical heart on his stomach.

"-ling?" he finished looking down at the pain and sighing at it.

"H-Hu-Huh? W-Well do-don't thi-think th-this is ov-over y-yet, da-darling. I st-still ha-have my 'Hu-human Erad-eradication functions' th-that h-have y-yet to be re-removed. W-well, I-T'S SH-SHOWTIME!" he said, his voice sounding like it has a glitch, most likely from the homerun to the gut.

Stage lights began blaring as a familiar yet different form of the tin can ghost stood before me.

I stared and decided to once again check this fabulous idiot's stats.

Mettaton NEO
Glamorous Human Destroying Robotic Incarnation
HP: 30000 CP: ∞
Strong Weakness to all elements

'So basically I can just do this and win' I thought.

Attack > Mettaton NEO

I swung my cast iron without trying as my attack struck twice with the power of meat and metal. The power of the awesome but impractical Ashley Bat, AKA: "The Ultimate Bat"

Mettaton's HP fell rather quickly.

"GUESS YOU DON'T WANNA JOIN MY FANCLUB?" He said, his voice both fixed and amplified thanks to his new form. Before exploding before my eyes.

Purification Successful... Gained 50000 EXP.

Level 5 gained.

The Batter learned "Save 1st Harmony" and it replaced "Save first base" and learned "Run with Kindness" and it replaced "Run with Courage".

"...Well that was both underwhelming and just plain sad there." I said as I stared at where Mettaton NEO once stood.

I started to feel myself wake up slowly. Welp time to go back home or at least my "New Home"?

I swear I heard a skeleton scream "Oh My God!" and another skeleton laugh But how I knew that they were skeletons is the real mystery.

---

I woke up and saw my clock "5:35! I should start heading over to the scho-" I shouted making my way to the front seat, only to look out the windshield, and see the school.

Wait? Why did I park over he- oh yeah, didn't want to miss my official day of school here. But I swear, between that stunt I pulled fighting a stupid bully and using a bat in school, not to mention the stupid spectre that, I wouldn't be surprised if I was expelled. Surely they haven't seen weirder over there. Right?

Oh how wrong I was, but the weirdness has just begun.

---

Meanwhile 3 months earlier in a restaurant/café near the school.

Author's Note:

Huh, well Sans's/The Batter's Hands are gonna be full of madness in the future. X3

Anyway I think I should answer some questions now and address some details right now.

Anyway, sorry that this was later than expected, school and all that. Although It also doesn't help that this is insanely hard to write for the 3 different forms of Mettaton from the battle against the living calculator star, his porno hot legs form, and his glass cannon joke form. This took some time to write. Mettaton's dialogue was at least fun to write for me.

If you're wondering why Mettaton didn't die in one hit like he does in OFFtale (Which I recommend to fans of both Undertale and OFF. You can find the owner on Tumblr and a video version on YouTube with more to it.)

Also I wanted to expand battles a bit. You saw how it turned out last chapter, and thanks to some criticism I got from a commenter. I decided to expand the fights now, not DBZ Levels of Expanding (Like how 5 minutes turned into a few episodes XD) but a bit more. But Dream Fights will take up the whole chapter and will take longer to write.

Speaking of Dream Battles, they are supposed to be a mental fight against many different foes from Ghosts, to Ghost Hunters, to pretty much anyone. It's just supposed to be a fight that benefits The Batter in the future with new techniques that yes will replace the old techniques.

Also the van is inspired by the one used multiple times in Ed Edd n Eddy in the Junkyard. This one. (Abet slightly better in condition and minus the cobwebs and dust)

Anyway I guess May the 4th be with you. (Even if it's almost 10 days late X3)

Also give credit to those who made the songs if you enjoyed them.

Fun Fact: The obvious reference to the popular abridged MLP series "Friendship is Witchcraft" was actually unintentional but I decided to keep it in as a joke. It was actually gonna say and I quote

"My Tiny Horsy: Relationships are Witchcraft"

Comments

[The Winged Merchant]

8122407

(Sorry this is late was busy writing)

Is that supposed to be a reference to Pinkie's reaction?

[mrkillwolf666]

10/10