Final Judgment sat in her chambers, reviewing for the fifteenth time the case of the murdered girl. With each pass, she felt more and more regret for letting the murderer go so easily. A pony was dead, and her murderer was going to walk. The only thing she could think was that it was her fault. Not only that, but something seemed fundamentally wrong with the case. She skimmed over the file one more time, trying to find some fallacy, some trace of uncertainty, but the case was airtight. Every single fact checked out, but doubt veiled her mind.
Final opened the bottom drawer of her desk and poured a glass of Applejack Daniels, downing it in a single gulp. She turned to pour another shot, seeing the statue of Celestia holding the scales of justice on either wing. As she looked upon Celestia’s marble visage, she felt her heart sink even further. Celestia had personally appointed Final Judgment to the position of Supreme Justice after a particularly difficult trial, not dissimilar to the one she’d presided over a few hours previous. A young stallion arranged for the untimely death of his wife, but didn’t know the time or place it would happen. Within the next week, the body was found in a lake outside Canterlot. Somehow, the stallion managed to use a memory spell to convince himself it was an accident, and his cutie mark remained unchanged. Final wasn’t fooled, though. She questioned him repeatedly, demanding he tell the truth. During the fourteenth day of the trial, the letter written to the assassin was found and presented to Final. She showed the stallion the note. As the memory spell dissolved, the shocked courtroom was treated to the sight of a cutie mark changing. Soon after, the stallion was exiled. What had changed since then? Why hadn’t she kicked the foal out of Equestria like she’d done forty-two years ago?
She shook her head, trying to clear the doubt from her mind. The world was different now. There was a new princess, after all. With Celestia and Luna in power, every decision made by the court was black and white, but Cadence upset this balance with myriad shades of grey. She knew the mind of a pony like no one else, and her surprising ability was evident. With her acting as a marriage counselor, the divorce rate in Equestria was slowly declining. It wasn’t just the work she was doing, but the hope she represented. Final Judgment knew that mare was going to change the order of things in the world, which is why she’d opted to have her attempt to rehabilitate a murderer. Final took a sip from her glass of whiskey, hoping the risk she’d taken would pay off. She glanced back at the statuette, her eyes darting to the wall behind it. Though she couldn’t read the note framed there, she knew what it said by heart.
Final Judgment—
I’ve observed your work first hand, and I’m proud to have you as an executor of my law. You have wisdom well beyond your years, and you share my sense of justice. Any decision you make in the courtroom is mine, and I will uphold your rulings to the end.
~Princess Celestia
She closed her eyes, repeating that final line to herself. Oh, Celestia… I think I’ve made a terrible mistake….
***
Sly Fox approached Judge Final’s chambers with a smirk on his face. Sure, she’d made a fool out of him in court today, but he was about to knock her off her high horse. He knocked on her door, wiping the smile off his face.
“Come in,” he heard the judge call weakly. He opened the door, seeing Final’s stoic expression sour. “What the hell do you want, Sly? I’m not going to waive your fine.”
“Oh, this isn’t about the fine, Judge Final. This is about the girl whose murderer you let walk.”
“Come off it, Sly. If you think you know better than the highest law in the country, think again. Besides, that murderer was your client. You should be thanking me.”
“I think you should take a closer look at the name of the girl my client killed.”
“Who? Daisy Duke? What’s the big de—oh, damn it.”
“That’s right. She was the daughter of the Duchess of Trottingham. I think she’s probably going to want to have a word with you about this whole situation. Knowing the Duchess’s influence, she’s probably going to lobby Princess Celestia to have you removed from office.”
Final looked back down at the file, aggravated she hadn’t seen the connection earlier. Even so, there still remained the issue of addressing the smug jackass standing in her doorway. She knew Sly hadn’t chosen to deliver this message out of the kindness of his heart. He was hoping to watch her fall apart in front of him, and she wasn’t going to give him the pleasure. “You know what, Sly? I’m going to save the Princess the trouble. Tomorrow morning, I’m resigning.”
She stood up and walked out of her chambers, knowing they’d be cleaned out the next day.
“I’m too old for this shit anyway.”
I don't do chapters. Chapters are long. I do parts and pieces, self-contained sections that tell pieces of the bigger picture.
And sorry for accidentally unposting and reposting it, my computer lagged out.
864847
Well, thank you very much for the vote of confidence
To be frank, the second you said "but something did catch my eye. That something... was you." I was totally creeped out. But reading the rest of your comment, I was nearly blushing. I've been writing for a while, but I know it's not good to be satisfied with your work, so I'm always looking for ways to improve. Sometimes, that means tweaking your style, other times just tweaking your story. In this case, I have to do both. My normal style isn't exactly compatible with the MLP universe, and I can't just switch styles all-out like I did with End of Courage.
In case I didn't say it before, thank you (thank you all, really) for being honest; I love knowing what problems people see in my stories, and if fixing it means I have to come up with a creative explanation, it's that much more interesting to read. So again, thank you ^-^
And I know to not take positive comments for a grain of salt. It's nice to know people like a story, but when you know the story doesn't live up to your own expectations, you shouldn't expect it to please others.
I kind of know where he wants to go with this, since we are friends IRL, but not even I know the specifics, only generals.
I know that if you guys can stick with it for a few of his scenes, It will get more interesting and characters will have some development.
Trust me. He does not like to do anything half-assed.
For some reason I find myself back again to read the second part of your story. It was... better. A lot better.
The description of your story is much better and gives people a general idea of what they're heading into. I really like the concept, so I am back because, well, we all know what they say about curiosity. The second part of the story is much better. I chuckled at Applejack Daniels.
I approach you again with the same morbid curiosity one gets while looking at a wreck on the highway. You don't WANT to look, but you've just got to.
I do again wonder at the sort of logic system you are setting up with this story. This was really just a scene, not a chapter, and could've been much more than it was. I saw your little note about not wanting to write chapters because they were too long and such, however-- be wary of the likes and dislikes bar up there. If you want your fellow ponies to read, you need to deliver a good string of content that explains itself quickly and resolutely. I do understand the dark tag and I loath to ever use it myself, but just make sure you deliver on what you promise sooner rather than later. If people read the first portion and then STILL stick around, you should have probably delivered Princess Cadence to us at the beginning of chapter 2-- THEN moved on to the scene with the judge-- THEN perhaps ended it out with Cadence meeting Iris for the first time. I'm concerned about the lack of characters from the show, as well. You promised us a Princess, yes, excellent, but thus far she is the only character we are garanteed to have in this whole dark mess. Make sure we're around her a LOT when she does show up, or the lack of likes and the abundance of OC's may doom your story to obscurity.
On a lighter note, I'm very interested to see Princess Cadence's work environment. Whether you go for the traditional "couch" therapist, or something more magical and unique, remember-- a therapist's office is supposed to be comforting, homely and easy to unwind in. That's how they get people to open up and talk about their problems.
There's some glimmer of a good story in here somewhere, just keep going and we'll find it soon! Keep writing!
873326
Thank you, sir. You do me honor by that.
885968
Same to you, sir or madam.
895335
I'm borderline offended by your initial statement, but I never let myself go over that line. Don't worry, the next part is very Cadance heavy.
Which brings me to my general comment. Whoever's still watching this story, the next part is coming soon. Sorry I haven't been able to get anything up before now. I've been having some serious personal problems that I had to take care of, so everything else was forced onto the back burner. I don't like it, but it happens.
But I'm doing better, jah? Things are looking up, and I have some spare time. So expect a new part, longer than a scene, shorter than a raging chapter, to come up within the next three days. Keep the comments coming, and try not to flatter me too much. I fear the end of End of Courage suffered due to lack of feedback other than "Yay, new chapter!"
~576 Belligerent Coil loves you!
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