Rainbow Unicorns: Boast Blasters

by Hopeful_Ink_Hoof

The Show Goes On

Although tempted to go with Rainbow and leave, Spike decided to stay behind. Rainbow Burst was pretty mad at the moment, and could use some time to cool off on her own. Plus, if anything else happened during the show, he could tell her about it. Especially if it was something embarrassing, like Lightning Blast slipping off the stage and falling face first into the dirt.

From what Spike gathered, Rainbow was not the only one irritated with the stage mare. Rarity and Applejack were silent, scowling at the stage as they watched the performance. Pinkie still clapped and cheered, but there was less enthusiasm about it. Maybe even... insincerity? It was hard to tell with Pinkie.

As for the show itself: it was not really that entertaining for Spike. Maybe what happened with Rainbow had left him a little upset as well, but he did not really find it that interesting. It seemed to mostly be Lightning telling stories of how amazingly awesome she was, putting her life on the line to do incredible things. During the story, Lightning Blast would jump around and spin, often showing off the moves she used to get through. Small explosions occurred whenever she landed, with a large one at the end of the story. Lightning Blast would stand in the center of the blast, emerging unharmed as it ended.

Judging from the reaction of the crowd, most of the ponies were enjoying the show. There were gasps and oohing whenever one of the explosions occurred, and the clapping of hooves on the ground.

"Well," Rarity said, "she's certainly full of herself."

"She's full'a somethin', alright," Applejack mumbled, wings flickering.

"Are you implying something?" Rarity asked, turning to raise an eyebrow at the pegasus farmer.

"Imply nothin'. I'll say it outright. I think she's makin' stuff up. Probably hasn't even done near half of what she's claimin'."

"It does sound rather outrageous," Twilight agreed. "More in line with something from a bad Daring Do rip-off than actual events."

Spike gave a nod in agreement. While not a big fan of Daring Do, he had read a book or two. If someone tried to...

...wait...

Turning, he looked again. Sure enough, Twilight Comet was standing there, watching the stage. Her head was slightly tilted and brow furrowed as she watched what was going on.

"Twilight?" Spike asked. "How long have you been here?"

Twilight gave a shrug.

"Seeing as the stories are similar and the stunts repetitive, it's hard to say." Her brow furrowed as she scrunched her face. "I think it had something to do with Breezies and a hydra?"

"Ya mean how she saved a lost group of Breezies from being eaten by a hydra by tyin' it's necks in a knot with nothin' but her fancy footwork?" Applejack asked.

"I guess?" Twilight shrugged again. "It hardly matters. The stories all seem to follow the same basic formula."

It was hard for Spike to argue. Admittedly, he had kind of lost interest more and more as the stories continued. They did all seem pretty much the same thing over and over: Lightning would be going about her normal business, something unexpected would happen, and she would have to use a mixture of her amazing athletic prowess and magical talent to escape the danger and save the day.

"Wow," he heard the voice of Snails call out. "She's really amazing."

"Yeah," Snips agreed. "She must be the most amazing and powerful unicorn to ever come to Ponyville."

Something in Spike suddenly snapped. Turning around, he glared at the two colts.

"Really?" he snaps. "With ponies like Pinkie and Rainbow around, you think she --" he motions toward the stage "-- is the most amazing unicorn in town? Her?"

"Well... yeah..." Snails answered.

"How can you not think it too?" Snips asked. "Just listen to all the amazing things she's done."

"That she says she's done," Spike countered. "We don't know if she's actually done any of it."

"What's this?" Lightning Blast said from behind Spike, causing him to tense and freeze. "It seems we have a neigh-sayer."

A yellow aura wrapped around Spike, grabbing him in magic and lifting him off the ground. Despite knowing better, Spike tried to run away. His arms pumped as fast as they could while his legs pumped, trying to get any kind of purchase to let him run. With nothing for him to gain purchase on, he could not get anywhere, making him simply flail in mid-air instead.

Lightning set Spike down on the stage beside her with an audible thump, making him feel it through his legs. It did not hurt, but he definitely felt it. Lighting stood there, glaring at him with her ears pulled back.

"So, you don't believe I've done what I said?" she asked.

Well no point in denying it now. He had already been heard, and was in front of of dozens of ponies. Turning to face her, Spike crossed his arms and looked at with all the defiance that he could manage.

"No," he stated. "I don't believe you. And I'm not the only one either."

Moving closer, Lightning leaned in until her nose almost touched Spike.

"And what, exactly, have you done that's so impressive?" she asked, tilting her head and raising an eyebrow.

The question brought Spike to a stop. Biting his lip, he looked away, thinking about what he had done with his life so far. Most of it was pretty nice. He had played with Rainbow, spent time and learned with Princess Celestia, and has moved here to Ponyville and met the girls. All of it was great things. But... none of it was really very impressive. At least from the view of action and adventure.

Grabbing a hold of his tail, he looked down at his feet and let out a sigh.

"...nothing..." Spike mumbled.

A smirk appeared on Lightning Blast's face.

"That's what I thought."

With a quick flicker of light from her horn, Lightning Blast gave Spike a small shove off the stage.

There was a pop from beneath Spike just before he hit something that did not feel like ground. As he hit whatever it was, a sound like air escaping through a tight hole echoed in his ears. With the sound, the thing he landed on moved, lowering him to the ground at a slower rate. After it stopped, Spike pushed up to see what he landed on.

A whoopee cushion. His fall had been slowed by a whoopee cushion the size of a small bed. It was surrounded in a pink glow, and had bits of confetti sticking to it. The same magical glow was emanating from Pinkie Pie's horn. Pinkie was glaring up at the stage before turning to look at Spike, her expression softening.

"You okay?" she asked, her magic fading and the cushion disappearing with it.

"Yeah," Spike said as he stood up, brushing herself off.

"Good," Pinkie said with a smile. It then turned back into a scowl as she looked up at the stage again. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meany pony I need to talk to."

With a flash of pink light, burst of confetti, and cry of noisemakers, Pinkie disappeared from her spot in the audience and reappeared on stage. Ears pulled back, her neck stretched upward nearly twice its length as she glared down at Lightning Blast.

"What's the big idea pushing Spike off the stage like that?"

"He would'a been fine," Lightning said, pulling back as she stared at the elongated neck in front of her.

"Bet she's fallen off it plenty of times," Applejack whispered to Twilight. "Probably landed on her head, most of them."

Twilight stifled a snicker before shushing Applejack.

"That's not the point!" Pinkie yelled, neck snapping to normal length as her body jumped up into the air. "You can't just go around shoving others like some sort of bully."

"And what are you going to do about it?"

Pinkie Pie took a step closer, straightened up, looked Lightning in the eyes, and smiled.

"Ask you politely and nicely to please apologize and promise not to do it again."

Lightning Blast stared at the pink mare for a half a minute before bursting into laughter.

"Are... are... are you... serious?" she asked between laughs.

"Yes," Pinkie answered.

The laugh turned to a snicker before Lightning stopped, clearing her throat.

"Tell you what," she said as her horn lit up with power, "I'll apologize... if you can beat me in a magic duel."

"Hmm...no," Pinkie answered, giving a shake of her head. "I don't really like the idea of fighting any pony. It's not really fun."

With a huff, Lightning Blast turned away from Pinkie and toward the crowd.

"What about any of you?" she called out. "Not just any unicorn, but any pony. I will prove my skill in magic or acrobatics against anyone here."

A murmur started among the crowd. Would anypony dare? Would one of them challenge Lightning Blast? What would happen if they did?

"I'll do it!" Applejack shouted. With a quick flap of her wings, she hopped up onto the stage. Reaching up,she adjusted her hat while giving Lightning a hard look.

"Pinkie, could ya give me a rope?"

"Sure," Pinkie said. With a puff of magic, a six foot long, quarter inch thick, red rope appeared beside Applejack.

"Uhm..." Applejack blinked, looking at the the rope for a moment. "Could you... give me one made out of... rope material and not licorice?"

"Right."

There was another puff of magic as licorice rope was replaced by a ten foot length that was made out of proper, not so easily edible, rope-making material. With the use of her hooves, wings and mouth, Applejack made a lasso, which she began to spin in front of her. Once she had the momentum and got the hoop of lasso stable, she lifted it above her head.

Applejack stretched her wings out as far as they could reach. A twitch of her neck brought the lasso down around her. As the ring of rope was about to hit her wings, she tucked them in just enough to avoid the inner edges. The rope continued to spin, down around the farm mare's hooves. This time she pulled the rope up, flapping her wings to have them raised just shy of getting hit.

Bringing the rope back in front of her, Applejack yanked it back as she jumped through the loop. She then pulled it the other way, jumping through it backwards with no wing assistance. This was followed by a series of side-to-side jumps and making the lasso spin around her, using it like a jump rope.

For her finale, Applejack tossed the lasso at a nearby tree, snagged an apple that was growing on it, and yanked it off, managing to land the fruit directly in her mouth.

"Beat that," Applejack said around a mouthful of fruit.

Lightning Blast tilted her head, letting out a chuckle.

"That's it?" she asked. "Rope tricks?" She let out a snort and waved a hoof. "I could do that blindfolded."

Horn lighting up, she pulled out a blindfold and rope of her own. Lightning quickly put the blindfold in face, covering her own eyes with the strip of fabric. She then took the rope, working to tie it in a lasso similar to Applejack's. Lifting it above her head, she began to spin. As the rope picked up momentum, the audience watched intently, curious what was about to happen.

The lasso came undone as the rope shot toward Applejack. Before she could react, the rope had wrapped around her legs, pulling them tight together, then around her barrel to pin her wings to her side. With a yank, Applejack was pulled off her feet and onto her back, hat flying off in the process. Lightning Blast's magic caught a hold of the hat and shoved it down onto Applejack's face as hard as she could.

Taking off the blindfold, Lightning Blast looked at her work, then puffed up and grinned.

"See? Blindfolded."

There were a few tentative claps from the audience, although most seemed to be quiet.

"Anypony else want to challenge me?"

"Somepony should do something," Spike grumbled. He turned to Twilight and Rarity. "Can't either of you do something?"

"I would love to," Rarity said, "but I'm a fashion designer, not a stunt mare, and it's not like I can whip a dress up from thin air." She paused, looking at the stage. "Although, those are some nice curtains. I think I could make a lovely little outfit from them."

Spike turned to Twilight Comet, who shrugged.

"With my practice and training to be a Wonderbolt, I could do some stunts, but I don't really know if it would do any good." Her eyes narrowed as she glared at the mare on stage. "Seems like she'd sooner embarrass a mare than show her up."

"No?" Lightning asked, raising an eyebrow. "Nopony at all?"

A thought suddenly occurred to Spike.

"HEY!" he shouted. "Do they have to be here and challenge you now?"

Although it was already quiet, it suddenly became deathly silent. All eyes turned to look at Spike, the young dragon now the center of attention.

Moving to the very edge of the stage, Lightning Blast focused all her attention on Spike.

"What do you have in mind?" she asked.

"I know a mare who is great with magic," Spike called out, "and could take anything you hit her with." His eyes narrowed. "You even saw it yourself earlier."

"You mean that weirdo that jumped into my lightning?"

Spike's claws clenched, digging into his palms as he resisted the urge to defend Rainbow Burst. Admittedly, yes, Rainbow did not act like most of the other unicorns he had met, but that did not mean some stranger could just call her a "weirdo."

"She's a very talented and powerful unicorn," he said, "and I bet she could beat you in a magic duel."

"Really?" Lightning grinned, letting out a snort.

"Really!"

"Fine!" Lightning Blast declared. "Tomorrow morning, your friend and I will duel right here for the entire town to watch!"

"Fine!" Spike called back. "She'll be here!"

"Good!"

There was a flash of lightning, striking Lightning Blast.

As it cleared, she was gone.

Comments

[ShadowLDrago]

A smirk appeared on Lightning Blast's face.
"That's what I thought."

Would you like to know what he CAN do though? Belly flop into lava and spit some out and be 100% unharmed. Can YOU do that?

[Comickook]

Not much I can say other than, excellent job on this latest chapter. The exchanges, emotional content, action and future chapter set-up are well done in all the right places. I particularly liked Spike calling Lightning out on her horseapples and Pinkie's reaction to what Lightning did to Spike. And Lightning is darn lucky Pinkie DIDN'T take her challenge. Considering, as a unicorn, her typical knack for making the impossible look easy is turned Up To Thirteen, I bet Pinkie could easily handle outdo Lightning if she really wanted to.

And, yeah, I'm surprised Spike didn't flat-out mention that Rainbow and her friends beat Nightmare Moon (which most of Ponyville and Celestia herself KNOW actually happened).

I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this, but am quite willing to be patient because I know real life concerns have to come first.

[CrowMagnon]

No... Spike... no. Yes, she's a tool-and-a-half, and Rainbow would be first in line to pound her face in if she'd seen you getting picked on like that, but you don't set up a duel for someone who isn't even there.

[Bahamuttone]

of loss interest

lost