Rainbow Unicorns: Boast Blasters

by Hopeful_Ink_Hoof

Snaily and the Snips

With the show over so abruptly, there was a moment where all the ponies assembled still stood, staring at it. Slowly, they began to disperse, leaving the spot and heading away. As they went, many of them talked about what they had seen, and speculating on what will happen with Rainbow Burst tomorrow.

"Spike?" Rarity said softly as she moved closer to the young dragon. "Are you certain you should be volunteering Rainbow for this? I mean, while I am certain she is talented enough to hold her own, would she really be interested in dueling against Lightning Blast?"

"More than willing," Spike answered. "Rainbow kind of hates ponies that are arrogant and full of themselves like that. Especially when they seem to like demeaning or embarrassing others." He shifted, looking from his friends toward the direction of the library. "Although, she would probably rather pull pranks on her than face her one on one."

"Oh," Pinkie cried out. "Speaking of."

Her horn lit up, grabbing a hold of Applejack and pulling her over to the group. After pulling the hat off and popping it back into the proper shape, Pinkie quickly untied the bound pegasus, setting her back on her hooves.

"Are you okay?" Pinkie asked.

"I'm fine," Applejack answered as she made a few adjustments to her hat. "My pride's hurt more than anything. I'm gonna tell Shy 'bout what's happening. See if she wanna show up tomorrow to give Burst some support. See y'all later." She then took off, flying away and toward Sweet Apple Acres.

"I should get going too," Pinkie said. "Either we're going to need a 'congratulations on beating Lightning Burst and stopping her being mean to other ponies' party, or a 'we're sorry you were beat up but we're glad you tried and still think you're the coolest unicorn' party for Rainbow." She then lit up her horn, and in a flash of confetti and squeal of noisemakers, vanished.

"I guess I should head to the library and tell Rainbow what's happening," Spike said. "See you guys later." He gave a wave and started off toward the library.

He did not get far before two unicorn colts moved to block his way. Snips stood to face the dragon, brow furrowed and noses nearly touching. Snails was standing behind his short, pudgy friend, just kind of staring off into the distance.

"So what's the big idea?" Snips asked. "Why do you get to tell us to stop talking about how great Lightning is, but you get to brag about Rainbow Burst?"

"Well, the biggest difference is that I'm not simply taking Rainbow's word for it," Spike retorted. "I've seen some of what she can do myself. Plus, with the stuff I haven't, there are others who have." He pointed back toward the others. "Like our friends. Or Princess Celestia."

"Wow," Snails said. "That is impressive."

Snips glared at his friend.

"Right," Spike agreed. "But nopony here has seen Lightning Blast do any of the things she claims. It's just her word."

Snips shifted, bringing a hoof up to his chin and tapping it as he let out a humming noise.

"So... what you're saying... is that if we want to prove how awesome and amazing, we need ponies to see it?"

"Yeah," Spike answered. "Good luck with that."

He then continued on, leaving the two unicorn colts lost in thought. Snips was considering what Spike had said. While Snails...

*****

The legendary sailor, Captain Snails, stood on the deck of his might vessel, The Sea Slug. His jaw was pressed tight as he looked out at the sea in front of him. His eyes narrowed against the glare of the sun on the water, he scanned back and forth, looking for any signs.

"Ship ahoy!" a voice called out from the crow's nest.

"Sir," the first mate said with a salute. "A ship has been spotted not far ahead of us."

"Find out if it's the one we be seeking," Captain Snails ordered, getting another salute before the first mate took off. Snails did not bother to watch him go, he trusted his crew and knew they were very competent about their job. Instead he moved closer to the edge of the bow. If it was the ship they were looking for, he wanted to see it as soon as he could.

It was not long before another ship came into view. Snails could make it out and already knew: it was the ship they were looking for. It was her.

"Sir," one of the crew ponies called out, "we have confirmation. It's Daddy's Money."

They had found the ship, which means they had found the pirate, Diamond Tiara, and also who they came for.

"Ready the cannons," Captain Snails ordered. "Prepare to engage. Remember, we are on a rescue mission. Getting her back is our top priority."

A round of "aye-aye" came from the crew as they began to move. Every mare and stallion got into action, getting into position and ready for the confrontation. Pegasi took flight, using their wings to increase the wind and their speed. Earth ponies moved the cannons into position while unicorns began to load them. Swords were drawn and ropes readied. Those that were not needed for running the ship or manning the cannons prepared to board.

Captain Snails stood ready to be the first across.

They soon got into cannon range.

"FIRE!"

The ponies at the cannons began pulling the cords attached to the back ends. There were clicks followed by pops as their ammunition was fired, launching from the opening. What came out were not ordinary cannonballs made of iron, however.

One "cannonball" struck the side of the opposing ship, the chocolate shell shattering apart and coating it with a thick layer of peanut butter. Several others struck not far behind, coating the hull in the gooey treat. A few even struck enemy crew member, covering them in the peanut butter and pinning them in place.

"Who dares attack the dreaded pirate queen Diamond Tiara!" boomed a voice from the opposing ship.

"Diamond Tiara!" Captain Snails shouted back. "Release Twist and surrender peacefully. If you do, then we will go easy on you."

"I shall never surrender!" Diamond Tiara called out. "If you want your precious mare, come get her!"

"So be it." Using his magic, Snails pulled the cutlass from his side. "Prepare to be boarded!"

With that, he grabbed a hold of the rope and jumped from his ship, swinging across to the other. As soon as he landed, he was surrounded by dozens -- scores -- of enemy pirates with their own swords drawn. With quick, practiced swings, he made his way through them, knocking their weapons aside and sending many overboard as he made his way across the deck.

Reaching a door, he kicked, sending it flying from its hinges.

Inside were two mares, both earth ponies. One was a cream coated mare with thick red hair. She was currently tied up, legs tied together. She looked at her hero with wide, pink eyes. The other was a grey mare with silver mane. One eye was covered by a patch, but the other glared at her enemy.

"Silver Spoon," Captain Snails said, "I should have known that Tiara would have you on guard." He pointed his cutlass at the silvery mare. "I will say this once: step aside or I shall go through you to free my beloved Twist.",

Silver Spoon let out a snort as she drew her own blade.

"You think you can stand against me?" she asked with a sneer.

"Yes," Snail's answered. "For I am pure of heart, and have the power of love on my side."

A snort of derision escaped the wicked mare as she raised her sword in front of her, crossing the blade with Snails'.

"Then show me what you got."

Captain Snail's moved first, lunging forward with his blade. It was easily parried by Silver, who then swung at him. Snails ducked under the strike, missing by a hair (less, actually since several hairs on his head had been cut a little shorter), then swung upwards. Silver Spoon stepped aside, but a little too slow. The very tip of Snails' cutlass hit her cheek, leaving a small scratch.

The two continued on, fighting back and forth. Steel would clang off steel as swords met, striking off one another. Each would get through the defense of the other a little. Not enough to land a clear victory, but enough to create a scratch or cut here and there. The pair moved and stepped, shifting position and working around the room as they fought each other.

Then Captain Snails raised his sword high and lunged forward, bringing it down hard. Eye wide, Silver Spoon jumped to the side.

Which was exactly what he had been hoping for.

The blade sliced through the knot, cutting it in two and freeing Twist from her bindings. Taking advantage of it, Twist kicked out hard, driving a back hoof into Silver Spoon's stomach, knocking the air from her lungs and throwing her into a wall. With a bang of skull against wood, the silver mare collapsed, unconscious.

Free of her binds and warden, Twist got up and threw herself at Captain Snails, wrapping forelegs around his neck.

"My hero!" she cried out before kissing him on the lips.

*****

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Snips asked, turning to look at his tall, thin friend.

"Yeah," Snails answered. "Chocolate covered peanut butter balls would be pretty good right now."

"No!" Snips replied before pausing. His brow furrowed. "Actually, now that you bring it up, that does sound pretty good." He let out a sigh of frustration. "And now I want one."

Turning around he started walking.

"Come on. We can stop on the way at the candy shop and get some."

"Okay," Snails said as he followed after his friend.

The two made there way through town, heading toward Bon Bon's candy shop.

"Where are we going?" Snails asked.

"The Everfree Forest," Snips answered.

"Oh. Okay."

Comments

[ShadowLDrago]

Snails has one heck of an active imagination.

[Comickook]

And here we go. Honestly, Spike, when are you going stop giving those two idiots dumb ideas? Still, excellent job on this latest chapter. I particularly liked the dream sequence AND the snack side-track. Unfortunately, I have a bad feeling concerning what's coming next. Rainbow might be able to take an Ursa Minor in a fight , but her method would probably end up angering the kid's mother, meaning they actually WOULD end up encountering an ACTUAL Ursa MAJOR unless one of the others comes up with a clever, non-violent solution that saves the city WITHOUT hurting the Minor .

At any rate, I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this, but am quite willing to be patient.

[supersmashfighter]

8013358 Too true.

[John Snow]

Oh, you two... I am still left wondering how long it will be until those two are officially declared a threat to the town and placed under surveillance.
Anyway, nice chapter. I am eagerly awaiting more.

[CrowMagnon]

8013358
He's like a cross between Calvin and Pinky (the mouse, not the pony) and I approve.

[Bahamuttone]

own, but would

remove

[Bahamuttone]

Ehr... Personally I find the whole "dream sequence" of Snails quite jarring and not really useful, it's totally random there

[Solar Rocker]

8507301
I think that’s the joke, that Snips is taking his time thinking more seriously than Snails, who’s just trapped in his own fantasy world.