A bit rushed. I recommend you flesh out conversations with actual diologue instead of 'they talked for a while'. Also put a bit more detail into this. Good job though

ye know, if they were entering a new plant, they wouldn't know if there was even food, water, resources, etc., so why didn't they bring that kind of stuff in the first place? and it sound kinda weird that the majority of them are private ranked, this seems like a situation that would require elite forces, not new forces

Applejack: "Wait you can talk"
John: "Wait, you can talk"

lol