Armor and Blood
Gustav shuck his head and looked around. He looked himself over quickly noticing he was a pony. His crew woke up soon after, and they all took the change differently but they soon settled and got to planning their next move and that was to find out where they were.
"Sir any idea vere ve are?" Olaf asked.
"No but ve are in a large city." Gustav said as he looked through his vision ports. He then slowly opened the commander's hatch and looked out.
"See anything." Frederick said.
"No." Gustav stopped, it sounded like something or someone was under the tank. He pulled his head in the turret of the Tiger and whispered, "I think someone is under the tank."
"Really? Vell vhat do ve do then?" Claus asked quietly.
"Hand me my Stg, I vill go out and see who is under the tank." Gustav said as Frederick handed him the Stg 44 and he crawled out the turret. How he could still hold the gun with his hoofs was be on him, as he stepped down onto the hull in front of the turret, then slid down the front upper slope of the hull. When he landed with a thud that seemed to startle who ever was under the tank. He bent down and looked under only to see the face of a young pony in what looked to be a british uniform.
"Get out from under there!" Gustav commanded and the pony followed his orders and crawled out from under the tank and stood up.
“Please don't hurt me.” The pony said showing how scared he was.
"Listen I vill not hurt you as I do not know who you are and I don't know vere ve are so right now you are vith us you hear me?" Gustav said standing on his hind legs, holding the Stg with his front legs.
The pony didn't speak but he did nod without making eye contact, his coat was brown and his mane was a lighter brown almost matching his uniform, Gustav checked the pony for any weapons and found nothing. "Vell get in the tank's hull gunner's seat." Gustav said and the pony listened climbing up the tank and crawling into the radio man's hatch. The hatch closed and Gustav put his Stg on his back and started climbing up the tank, he got to the top of the hull when an explosion threw him off the tank. He quickly got up and ran to the rear of the tank and climbed up to the engine deck and crawled to the rear of the turret. He knocked on the back turret hatch and it opened revealing Olaf and Frederick both of which had a dark grey coat and reptilian looking amber eyes, the only difference was their manes, Olaf's mane was a very dark purple and Frederick's was more of a dark blue. Both ponies smiled showing fangs and that slightly unnerved Gustav.
Olaf asked, "Do you know vhere ve vere shot from?"
Gustav shuck his head up, "No I don't." He peeked his up over the top of the turret. They were on a street that went straight ahead for what had to be three to five kilometers and had three to six story buildings on both sides. As he was looking a two tanks raced out onto the street about a kilometer down the street and raced towards them. "Two panzers one kilometer out. Fire vhen ready." Gustav said to Olaf and Olaf turned around and looked through the gun sight well Frederick grabbed a shell. The tanks closed, 800m, 700m, 600m, then a boom as the 88 fired rocking the tank. The tank on the left side of the street was hit and immediately flames engulfed the whole tank as it stopped dead in its tracks, the shot must have surprised the tanks as the other one fire almost immediately, missing and hitting the ground next to the Tiger. The tiger's turret turned and started tracking the second tank as Frederick loaded the second shell. The second tank was 450m away by the time Olaf shot. The round hit the tank on the front which was flat and had caused the tank to drive into the pillar of a building and flip onto its roof as the tracks kept going.
"Any more." Olaf asked without taking his head away from the gun sight.
"I don't." Gustav was cut off by a round hitting the turret and he quickly looked for were it came from and saw smoke coming up from a small shed around 200m down the road. "Olaf see that shed, put a round into it." Gustav said.
"Ok." Olaf said right before firing. The round hit the shed and a second later dark smoke came from the shed.
"She is hit." Gustav said with a smile. He crawled onto the turret then into the commander's hatch. He looked around, trying to see if there were anymore when a large tank rolled out of a side street. The tank had a pike front of the hull and turret. The tank fired and the round bounced off the hull of the Tiger. "Olaf shoot the fucker!" Gustav commanded.
Olaf listened and the tiger's turret turned and then fired. The 88mm round had amazing penetration but it harmlessly bounced of the tank. Gustav by now had his headset on. "Claus get the damn tank moving!" He yelled.
"I am, just if she turned over." Claus responded with as another round hit the Tiger but this time it bounced of the turret cheek. "Come on come on girl, ve need to go." Claus said as the engine turned over and started earning a cheer from the crew. "Vhat should I do commander?" Claus asked as a loud twain came from a third shell bouncing off the Tiger.
"Charge right at them and go around. Then Olaf I vant you to shoot them in the ass." Gustav said.
Olaf and Claus both said, "Yes Sir."
The Tiger lurched forwards, the tank was 400m away when they started towards it. The tank fired once more at 200m but missed, the whole time Gustav had his head out the turret. They closed in and Gustav yelled, "READY!"
They passed the tank and Claus locked up the left track. Causing the tank to slide to a stop and once stopped Olaf fired, knocking the large tank out. Gustav looked at the smoking hole in the rear of the tank's turret as a snowflake landed on the end of the 88 and sighed. "Vell ve should get out of here before more come. Claus take that side road by the flipped tank."
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When your tank is completely fu**ed
Well... you are doing a decent job for a first fic
Though grammar is with little mistakes here and there, am i right?
7952791 grammar is something I hope to fix as I work happy to hear you like it.
This story is cool and all but, that intro is....eh....I'd suggest getting a writing editor. Also judging from how he talked in the beginning. He sounds like a British soldier.
7953790 intro to this chapter or the whole story and when you say how he talked, who do you mean?
7953790 *Sigh* Nevermind. But, you should get someone to rewrite this whole chapter. Or rewrite it yourself. Like, he should be panicking as he stepped on a landmine. He's not at all surprised by talking pastel horses. He should have been trying to disarm the mine. But in general. Get an editor. Or use a grammar program at least
.
7954015 I see ok the reason I asked was because you commented on the latest chapter and I wasn't sure what you meant but yes I understand that the first chapter is bad and I will be rewriting it but if I may ask has the grammar gotten better. PS this whole story has been written on my phone.
7954047 Holy sh**. On your phone!? Impressive! But don't write stories on phone. It's just....a bad time. *Cue megolavania*
7954061 ya I'm going to move to my laptop at some point but do you know anyone I could go to for editing?
7954066 Well. I'm an editor myself.
And you can find a few on DeviantArt and there are some editors here on FimFiction.
7954079 ok thanks. I guess if you want to edit just say so.
7954081 Id be glad to edit. I have nothing but time on my hands.
7954087 Awesome, thanks.
I eant to edit to im good a ww2 planes tanks and veichals